Tasteful Creams Err Tasteful Dreams

Special Blend

I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)

Pretty Young Thing

You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)

Tender Lovin' Care

And I'll Take You There

I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)

Pretty Young Thing

You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)

Tender Lovin' Care

I'll Shake You There

This was by far his most favorite song for encouraging his perverted inspirations. Anything that definitely shrilled illegal intentions came off this very album and this song was number one. Sesshomaru couldn't ask for more loudly spoke melodies of jailbait potential other these gentle, soothing lyrics of wrong doing.

Here he was sitting by the window enjoying another carefree day of watching those delicious morsels spill down the school steps, listening to his favorite artist, and licking free ice cream off his favorite spoon. The exact plastic utensil Inuyasha had been using yesterday. Don't ask and you won't have to figure out some nasty details.

As he sat propped backwards in a stool chair, flipping through this month's issue of Toys R Us (he was looking for gifts for Inuyasha. Maybe a couple of balls and a few pogo sticks…and if you didn't catch on to that don't even worry about it). Anyway as he read through the endless supply of kiddie goods, a certain conversation perked his pointy ear to the left sounding suspiciously like—oh dear.

"Excuse me Mistew?" Said the same little pink haired demon girl who Naraku refused to kick out on Sesshomaru's orders. Wasn't she supposed to be in pre-school or something? As a matter of fact, where the hell were her friggin parents?

Naraku finished wiping off a milkshake glass and turned to answer his tiny customer, "Yes, what is it?"

"Umm," She held up her ice cream cone looking at it strangely. "My ice cweam tastes funny."

Tastes funny? Did this brat just insult his ice cream? Naraku's delicious, creamy, delectable, hard ass worked on ice cream? "I'm sorry dear but we don't give refunds after the first lick." He said too sweetly.

"But siw my ice cweam tastes funny." Her bottom lip dribbled sadly and her pink eyes grew to an impressive size.

He frowned hard this time. Really hard. "You didn't think it taste funny before."

She pointed to the center. "But siw there's white stuff in my cone. It tastes icky." Little pinky made a crunched up face, sticking her tongue out to show the nasty sticky residue.

Naraku held his temper in check, knowing she was too innocent to be damned to hell three ways to Sunday and too young to be labeled a selfish, ignorant bitch because the ice cream was—well it was vanilla for Christ sakes. What did the girl expect? "Let me see," He held out his hand for the cone but before it touched his palm, it suddenly disappeared. Seriously it vanished mid grab. Almost like a ninja stunt or something. The two looked around each for the longest trying to figure out what happened to the sweet treat.

Secretly unseen by every eye in the shop including Charlotte, Sesshomaru quietly threw the defiled ice cream cone in the garbage and went back to the kitchen to hide the chilled bucket that read 'Special Blend' in a more confined location…..That mixture was meant only for Inuyasha.

….Hope the girl's too young to get pregnant.

---

Inuyasha sadly studied the slow moving clock wishing against the natural throes of time that those two hands would go ahead and hit three and eight so he could get the hell out of there. This was getting so stupid. Here he was sitting here doing nothing but finding his name in the plastered ceiling and being ogled by his teacher. All he could so was rock back and forth in his chair thinking about Sesshomaru.

Yes that's right if no one's figured it out by now, Inuyasha was becoming attached (yes attached not attracted) to the person he learned was a complete angel. Sesshomaru was always the perfect cool friend and seemed to always know what to say when they talked on the phone at night. Sure Sesshomaru had asked what his boxer size was but he was probably asking to buy him a pair. For some reason most of their conversations always seemed to revolve around Inuyasha's boxer size, attractions, particular favorites and secretive hobbies.

Ya see? Only good friends would want to know that type of personal information.

"Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha flopped forward in his chair. "Yea Teach, what's up?"

Miroku blew out dramatically closing his issue of Children's Galore to stare at his pupil through gold rimmed glasses. "Inuyasha, I regret to inform you that I don't think we should continue our tutor sessions anymore." He sighed, squeezing the sexually stimulated pressure between his eyes.

Oh Thank you God! Inuyasha threw up his arms overfilled with so much joy and utter excitement. He felt like jumping up and down with so much Christmas joy—

"That's why I believe we should continue them elsewhere. Namely my home. My bedroom."

Inuyasha's arms dropped in a slumped slap against his chair…God doesn't exist…

Wait maybe there's a miracle. "Sorry but I don't think my mom will allow—"

"Your mother filled out this permission slip yesterday saying you could spend the entire weekend at my home." Miroku held up a yellow permission slip with—you guessed it—Miss Izayoi's signature practically winking at her son. "So there's no need to worry. We have permission to stick—err I mean spend time with each other. I even have a swimming pool, so bring speedos."

So miracles didn't exist either. Inuyasha dropped his head against his desk on the verge of tears. Oh god this man was going to make him his slut puppy and make him wear a French maid suit to take pictures in…he knew…It happened to his cousin Bankotsu.

Miroku pushed up his glasses and went back to reading his Children's Galore magazine to find the perfect outfit. Let's see, he used a French maid's outfit last time. Might have to go with something Irish or Medival. Oh oh oh maybe he could be a fairy! Oh the possibilities were endless.

---

Screw waiting for that dumbass Sesshomaru. He was getting the hell up outta there before something else happened.

Inuyasha jumped down the whole staircase, into the street running as fast as he could to the Tasteful Creams shop. It was as if he couldn't get there fast enough, mind you he's dipping and dodging through traffic nearly hitting a sweet ass Apple Red Lamborghini. He shook his fist at the stupid old lady and hurried off to the door.

Why he aimed for the ice cream, he had no idea but it was the only place he felt safest since his own mother betrayed him to the devil himself. So where else would he go but to Sesshomaru, Naraku and Koga since they always gave him free ice cream and him feel welcomed.

Inuyasha sat through the glass doors breathing heavy and sweaty from the unusually hot weather. "Guys I need your help! He's going to molest me!"

Koga blinked at the hanyou terrified. Naraku blinked at the hanyou terrified. The little pink demon licked her ice cream. Charlotte weaved 'Oh no!' in her web. The exclamation point was tangled in there three times.

Suddenly Naraku growled to the person he knew was behind this devastation, "Sesshomaru!"

Said demon emerged from the kitchen zipping up his pants, calm as the north pole. "Yes."

Before anyone could say a world, Inuyasha thrust his whole body in Sesshomaru's arms, hugging around his waist, shoving his face in his chest. Sesshomaru went into immediate innocent mode when he felt Naraku's eyes of hell on him. Don't molest him, Naraku's right there. Don't molest him, Naraku's right there. Don't molest him, Naraku's right there. Sesshomaru took a very deep breathe and kept his arms by his side. "What's wrong?"

"Sesshomaru I-I need your help. He's...he's going to molest me!"

Ohhh so tempting to just squeeze that ass. "Who's going to molest you?"

"My teacher, Mr. Miroku. My Mom gave him permission to let me spend the whole weekend at his house. So now we'll be stuck together in his bedroom!" Inuyasha squeezed Sesshomaru closer, pressing his face deeper in his friend's uniform shirt. The tacky tie die one with all the molestable qualities. The same shirt Inuyasha just can't seem to notice.

Those puppy ears were in licking range. Right next to Sesshomaru's lips. All he had to do was stick it out a little bit and boom, instant molest fest. "I'm sorry to hear your teacher's being such a perverted nuisance. How could he think to do such a thing? Don't worry," Sesshomaru did the only thing he could do and eased Inuyasha's arms from around his waist. "I'll see what we can do to help you."

"You mean it Sess?"

Keep calling 'em Sess and you won't have to worry about that Miroku guy getting that ass. "Of course. Such a disgusting fiend deserves to be cast off in the deepest dungeon for trying to steal your innocence." Sesshomaru turned his head away, keeping Inuyasha's hands tight in his. "I couldn't imagine doing such a thing…."

'You're so full of shit' Said Charlotte's Web.

Naraku shook his head, knowing good and damn well he needed to get involved otherwise Sesshomaru was going to get them all sent to jail. "Alright when exactly are you supposed to spend the weekend with him?"

The biggest smile spread like butter on Inuyasha's face and he bowed at the waist to the other help. "Thank you so much guys."

Sesshomaru took a quick picture of his behind and shoved it in his pocket. "Of course, we're here for you."

"First things first," Naraku retrieved Sesshomaru's ITouch phone to get rid of that picture, "I have an idea but we need Koga," Where's that blasted ass shot? He looked up at a smug faced Sesshomaru, narrowing his eyes maliciously.

"Koga is," Where the hell is Koga? He was just here. Oh wait Sesshomaru knew. He snatched Inuyasha by the arm and dragged him outside the shop, pointing straight ahead to a navy blue impala (the latest model so it's pretty sweet) parked at the end of the sidewalk. "Inuyasha you see that car?"

"Yea, what about it?" Inuyasha cupped his eyes against the sun's glare to see the graceful slickness of Koga's car. Whew that's a nice car.

Sesshomaru bent down and picked up a large rock. "Here, throw it at a ninety five degree angle, westbound at exactly twenty six miles per hour."

Inuyasha took the rock. "Why?"

"Don't worry," Sesshomaru took a baseball sized rock throwing it up and down in his hand, the cruelest smirk on his face. "I'll do it too."

---

Koga knew as soon as Inuyasha ran through the front door and heard his situation; he turned tailed and ran out of there as fast as he could. There was no way in hell he was going to be someone's backup plan. When he turned eighteen last year it'd been the best thing to ever happen to him and they wanted to screw it up with this bullshit. Well not today dammit. Koga Espada was going to put his foot down this time and just say no.

He had the music cranked to the highest volume smacking in sync with the drummer and guitars singing loud. Suddenly he got no sort of warning when his back seat and front seat windows burst into a million pieces scaring the living shit out of him. "Jesus freaking Christ!" He shouted, mouth wide in disbelieve.

He looked at the two tall figures up the sidewalk, waving at him as if it were a pleasant Sunday morning. Koga looked over at the rocks on his seats and quickly put two and two together. "Are you assholes insane?" He hollered to the smug faced demons.

"Koga we need you back in the shop!" Sesshomaru called down to him.

"Fuck the shop, look what you did to my ride!" Koga growled at the scattered pieces of glass littered on the ground and the seats. "Why the hell did you throw rocks at my car?"

Inuyasha blinked down looking around and picked up another rock, looking at it strangely. "The rock said it didn't like your car." And proceeded to throw that one too.

Koga couldn't crank up his car fast enough—well magically it somehow came on in time with his girly shriek—and he managed to pull off before it hit. Stupid ass talking rocks.

---

Sesshomaru sat back in his usual chair watching Inuyasha lick away at his 'Special Blend' ice cream until Koga came stomping in the shop made as all get out. "Somebody's gonna pay for my car!" He shouted to no one who cared.

When no one answered he looked at each person including the little pink demon still licking ice cream and sighed defeated, "If I do it will you pay for my car?"

The oldest brother pushed up his glasses, "We'll get to that after you take care of the teacher."

"Fine." Koga sunk in a booth seat hands dropped between his knees. "What do I gotta do?"

Meanwhile, Inuyasha finished off his ice cream cone slurping up the last drops before eating the whole waffle cone. That had to be the best ice cream he'd ever had. "Sesshomaru can I have another one?"

"Of course," Sesshomaru reached under the table...wait no he was getting the bucket of ice cream marked Special Blend and a bowl (who knows where that came from) and scooped out five large scoops.

"Thanks," Inuyasha pulled up his bowl, excitedly spooning up a generous portion. He purred with so much content, Sesshomaru crossed his legs to keep from poking a hole in the table. "Damn this is good. What's it called again?"

Molestable Blends. "It doesn't have a name. It's just a Special Blend."

"What's in it? It tastes great."

"...My personal creams."

---

TBC: …I'm so awful lol. ^_^