Enamored

A/N: I am not dead. You are all shocked right? I know. If I say one more time, sorry I suck at updating and school is a bitch, I will feel like a broken record. Instead, I will say thank you to those who put up with me and still read my stuff. You're awesome.

Also, this is not beta. And I am very tired.

Enamored

Chapter 5: Small Steps

Many glances were thrown in Kouga's way but he seemed oblivious to them. Instead, he kept tapping his fingers against a rock which made quite an annoying sound. Nobody dared to say anything, especially since Kouga appeared to be rather edgy. His aura was off and he would not stop shaking his foot. Everyone gave him space, knowing it was better to be away then close by when he was like this. After a while however, people became concerned with his state of mind. He was not keeping up with his tasks and did not leave his spot. Most did not dare to interrupt him but Ginta chose to risk it.

"K-kouga?"

"Hm?" He never raised his head.

"Ya alright?"

"Yeah."

One, two, three, one, two. Tapping his fingers was the only way he kept himself in control. He locked himself out of his own den. Kagome was in there, sleeping and he thought she might prefer to be alone. After the kiss…kiss…it was a kiss. Yes. It was. After the kiss, she did not react, she did not say anything. Her aura did speak for her though; she wanted to be left alone. It did not please him. She was his woman and he took care of her. He was supposed to make her happy, not sad. Why would she be upset by a kiss?

Nonetheless, he respected her wishes.

And it was driving nuts.

He was waiting for a sign coming from the den, anything that would tell him she was awake. She was still injured; she would need help once she was up.

Though at this point, he wondered if she would want his help. Her emotions were all over the place and he was not exactly sure what she wanted from him. He loved her, he would take care of her and he knew she was aware of that. Perhaps the pain and the fact that she was missing her friends was making the whole situation more complicated than it should be.

She did not like it when he kissed her.

Then, she liked it. A lot.

The scent of her arousal still filled his nostrils as if it was happening all over again.

"Do you need some more meat for Sister? We can get some."

"I got some a'ready."

As if he would fail her.

Suddenly, everyone's ears twitched as they heard stirring coming from the den. Then, they all stared at Kouga, waiting for his reaction: it was not a happy one. "Don't ya all got somethin' else to do?" he snapped.

He was under enough pressure as it was and he did not need all of them watching and observing his every movement. He would take care of his woman his own way without anyone's help or advice. He rose to his feet, without forgetting to grab the meat he put aside for her, and headed towards the den. Considering her swings of emotions he was not exactly sure what her reaction would be and he decided to be careful. After all, she was injured and he did not want her to get upset and worsen her condition.

Once he was inside, he saw her half sitting up, her face all crisped up in pain. The sight alone was enough to make him rush by her side. He put the meat down carelessly and quickly put an arm around her waist to help her sit up. He decided to keep his arm there as support since she seemed too weak to keep herself up. "Ya alright?"

Instead of answering him, she stared right ahead with a light pink blush decorating her pale cheeks. At first, in all of her confusion and pain, she forgot about what happened. Now that he was awfully close to her face, it was hard to forget. She could feel his warm breath on her arm and she could imagine his icy blue eyes locked on her. She could not turn around to look at him. Also, considering the incident that led to a kiss, she imagined it was best if she kept distance between their mouths. Kiss. They kissed. Her first kiss was with a wolf she barely knew - in a den. Her first kiss was not with Inuyasha. It was not with someone she loved.

At least… Kouga was a nice guy right? Granted he was eating humans up until yesterday but nonetheless… he did kidnap her then care for her right? Yes. He was a good person.

Since she felt his eyes were still on her, she gave him a non verbal answer by nodding her head. Her answer caused him to reluctantly remove his arm. At least she did not seem angry and he was happy about that. Although seeing her like that only made him want to act like a mate even more. If she would let him get closer without getting upset, he would lay by her side and hold her in his arms. He knew it was somewhat cold for her in the den even with the fire and the furs: she was only human. His body heat could be useful for her.

Though, he suffered her wrath before and he was not willing to risk it again. His woman might be human but she was feisty.

Since there was only one thing left for him to do, he did it. A sigh rolled off his lips as he reached out for the meat. "Ya hungry?"

At his words, her blush deepened even more. He- he would feed her again? If she was not really thinking about the kiss before, she was now. Her immediate reaction was to shake her head which she did a little too intense and brought pain to herself. This should not bother her this much. She loved Inuyasha did she not? An unfortunate accident happened between her and Kouga and it meant nothing. It was her first kiss but it meant nothing.

As he sensed the shift in her aura, Kouga decided not to push the issue. She did not seem hungry and he did not hear her stomach growl like it did before. As long as she was fine, he would leave her be. Although, he still refused to leave her without surveillance. The scent of blood remained strong and if she needed anything he did not want her to hurt herself; he would provide for her.

Kouga sat on the ground with his back against the wall. He kept a certain distance between them which seemed to ease her and get rid of her blush - although he did enjoy that pink color on her cheeks.

At this point, Kagome was not certain if this awkwardness and silence were any better but she was too weak to do something about it. Her mind might be less fuzzy but her skin felt scorching out, even though she was sure she was cold, and her head was pounding. Oh and her stomach. That was still hurting whenever she spoke, moved or breathed though she did not see it getting better anytime soon. Since she decided to keep her strength, especially because she had no intention of eating yet, she closed her eyes and let the darkness and quietness wrap around her.

After a moment, her peacefulness was broken by the sound of loud breathing. She frowned and twitched before she realized it was coming from Kouga. Kagome forced her eyes open and tilted her head to the side as best she could. She managed to catch a glimpse of Kouga - a sleeping Kouga. His eyes were closed and his head was leaning more and more to the left. His chest was rising heavily and his breathing was getting louder and louder.

He looked…exhausted.

Youkais needed rest too: Inuyasha and Shippo were example of that. She was certain they had more strength than humans but nonetheless. Kagome had no idea when she got to Kouga's den but she was certain of one thing: he had been looking after her ever since her arrival. She could recall him sleeping a few times - even though it was nothing more than blurry memories. Perhaps he did not even sleep. He looked after her this entire time without thinking about himself. She knew that unless his tiredness was too much to bear, he would not have fallen asleep.

A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips as her body relaxed. For once, she felt fully comfortable in his presence.

She did her best to pick up a fur from on top of her and threw it over him. She was not sure if he could get cold but she wanted him to get comfortable. He was already on the floor which was probably hard and cold.

It was funny to think that just yesterday morning she acted very differently towards him. He went from her kidnapper to her rescuer in a matter of hours. Also, he kept proving that deep down he was a good guy; he just needed a little push.

Suddenly, her train of thoughts was interrupted when his head slid across the wall until it rested upon her shoulder. At first she jolted but then she relaxed. Perhaps that was better for his head and being his pillow for a while was the least she could do. Although, the closeness only served to remind her of their kiss again and her blush hurried to come back. Nonetheless, she did her best to relax. What he was doing was innocent: he was asleep.

As silence and calm took over she found herself falling back asleep. Her own head ended up resting on his without her even realizing. All she felt was the warm coming from his body and she wondered if all youkais were warm. His warmth was not like the one she got from the fur; it was soothing. A certain dizziness took over, which was not helped by her lack of food and she remembered being moved but not the exact details. All she could tell through her daze and closed eyes was that there was more warmth and she snuggled against it.

Eventually, she fell asleep again.

Kouga however was very awake.

He began waking up when she began falling asleep. At some point, he felt hands touching his arms and he realized it was hers. She sought to touch him. That awakened him pretty fast. He did not think she was fully aware of her actions but he refused to deny her the warmth she searched. Instead, he invited himself by her side and wrapped his arms around her.

That was when, while falling asleep, she shocked him. She snuggled up to his chest.

At this moment, he was not sure he could breathe. He was afraid it would wake her up and she would go away. It was getting harder and harder to let her go each time. Especially when she was giving him good signals. Kissing him, holding him. How was he supposed to resist her? He did not know how it work with humans but this was courting to him. Not only that but as a wolf, the more he got to put his scent on her, touch her, feel her, the more he needed her. He did not think she understood that need.

When he first kidnap her, he did not think she would mean so much to him. He wanted her because she could see the shards and even then he never planned on making her his mate. He wanted a jewel detector. Then, she fiercely fought for her little fox friend and he was taken by her. He never saw a human act like that before. The more she did, the more he cared for her, the more he wanted her as his mate. She might have rejected him earlier on but he was not sure she still felt the same. The way her nose was touching his bare chest told him as much.

He ran his fingers through her hair gently, hoping to provide her with more comfort. He also reminded himself to check her bandages. For the first time, she was fully sleeping on her side and he was afraid she would open up her wounds again. She was barely feeling well and he did not want her situation to get worse; what kind of mate would he be if he could not look after her properly?

His thoughts were interrupted when Kagome moved her face until her lips pressed against his chest. They felt warm and he remembered how much he loved kissing them. He wanted her in his arms like this every night, he wanted to kiss her again. Although, he would not do it, not while she was asleep. Instead, he resisted the temptation by burying his nose in her hair and inhaling her divine scent. That would do for now.

If he could stay by her side, like this, he would be happy.

-E-

Kagome's muscles felt stiff as she managed to open her eyes. She tried to move around but found herself stuck. Since she did not have enough energy, she decided to stop wasting it and instead remained as she was. She did however jolt a bit when she saw she was looking at bare tan skin. Kouga. Fortunately, his hold on her prevented her from backing away. His grip on her was strong as if his life depended on it. Her cheeks turned bright red but she remained as she was.

She did not only do it because she was too shy to move or too injured or not even because she felt guilty that he was so tired because of her. She simply did it because, she was still exhausted and as much as it embarrassed to admit it, being this close to him was more comfortable. The pelts of fur were quite soft but they were beginning to feel thin. Because of that, Kagome was able to sense the rock hard ground beneath her and it was killing her back. Kouga was a welcoming…softer surface to rest upon. She could not believe the thoughts going through her mind. It was not physical though. She knew she sort of accidentally kissed him but it did not mean she had feelings for him. She loved Inuyasha. Despite the fact that he was often an asshole.

Suddenly, Kouga mumbled and she stiffened. Was he waking up?

Instead of granting her freedom, he tightened his hold on her. Her rear was completely pressed into his crotch, her legs trapped by his and he threw an arm around her waist to keep her close. Unfortunately, this time, he forced her to wake him up. His hand was applying pressure on her injuries and she yelped in pain. The sound woke up him so rapidly that he jolted and nearly rolled off.

Confusion danced in his eyes as he looked around him. It was not until the scent of fresh blood hit his nose that he understood what took place.

"Shit."

He rushed back to her side and helped her lay on her back. Blood was beginning to soak through her new bandages and he cursed himself again. Why did he have to ruin it?

"Shit. I didn't mean to, I'm sorry."

He remembered having this great dream where she was living with the pack permanently and she loved him, not Inutrasha. The most important part was, Kagome was happy. She was not sad or crying or angry. No, when she was with him, she was happy. And then he had to fuck it up by crushing her wounds in his sleep. Like that was going to make her happy!

The good thing was, he had new bandages ready.

"I'll change them."

A small panic flashed in her eyes.

"I'm just gonna change the lower part." If the bandages covering her chest needed changing, he would have called someone else. Did she not believe that he would respect her? He might have said out loud he was claiming her but nothing was quite official yet and nothing would be done until she was healed.

Kagome watched him as he uncovered some of her wounds and threw away the blood soaked bandages. It did not look as bad as she remembered it. You could still see the shape of the claws in the wounds but it did not appear to be as deep as it used to be. Kouga seemed to arrive at the same conclusion since he looked relieved. Instead of covering back the injuries with new bandages, he dipped his fingertips into some sort of paste and she watched as he applied it carefully on the open gashes. It felt cold to the touch and she tried not to jerk away. After a few moments the discomfort was over and he was finally shielding her injuries.

"Tha-nk you," she breathed out.

"Sorry again," he said feeling like a complete idiot.

It was not how today was supposed to go. After his little victory with the kiss, he was supposed to keep showing her what a good alpha male he was. Why did he always end up looking weak in her presence? Now, he would have to work extra hard to make up for this incident.

"Do ya want some water?"

She was certain she could do with some food but remembering what happened last time, water might be a safer bet. She nodded as best she could and it seemed to make him happy. He twisted his body around and patted the furs into a nice pile before he wrapped his arms around her and carefully laid her down on her new made bed. Apparently proud of himself, he smiled.

"I'll be right back."

This he could do for her. He could fetch whatever she needed and he could make sure his woman was comfortable. Maybe there were better furs he could get for her? Since he was slightly distracted, he did not notice as Ginta and Hakkaku began to crowd him.

"Kouga?" one of them said quietly.

"What?" he asked, slowing down.

"Is Sis okay?"

"Yeah, we smelled blood."

Damn it. "Her wounds opened."

"But it's fine right?" Kagome saved all of their lives and she even risked hers when they were being captured. They did not want to over step the line by taking care of her since it was Kouga's job but they hated all the waiting around.

"Yeah, I think so." He tended to wounds much worse than that before. Though, this was Kagome…a human. No, it was fine. The wounds did not open up that much and they were healing great. "They're fadin' away," he added to re-assure everyone.

A sigh of relief was heard.

"Wait, if she was bleedin' why you here?"

"My woman needs water."

"Oh," Ginta said with eyes wide open. "We figured she might be thirsty!"

Hakkaku took the occasion to run ahead near the waterfall. He picked up a vase from the ground and happily took it back to Kouga. "We got that this mornin'. It's all fresh!"

Granted Kouga was the one who wanted to take care of his woman but he was happy everyone cared so much about Kagome. Especially since she was human. However, nobody seemed to have a problem with it so far - and even if they did, he would deal with them and there would be no problem.

Kouga let Hakkaku carry the water back to the den since it made him happy to do it. He followed behind, actually enjoying the fact that he was able to stretch his legs. He was a runner and ever since she arrived injured, he stayed put by her side. He did not mind, he did not complain but it would be lying to say that his legs were not itching for a very long run. However, he complete refused to do so until she recovered. Then perhaps, he could take her with him. He firmly believed she would not mind riding on his back.

Hakkaku brought the water inside and put the vase beside Kagome.

"Hey Sis."

Instead of talking, Kagome smiled.

"We're all worried about ya. Feel better alright?"

It was hard not to be swoon by the wolf tribe. Yes, the place was still filled with bones, probably humans one, but they were kind at heart. They barely knew her and yet they were all taking care of her as one of their own and their concern appeared to be very sincere.

He lingered a second longer before leaving and revealing that Kouga was standing not far behind. He slowly approached, his chest swelling with pride. Each time he looked at her and witnessed her kind acts, he was reminded of what a good choice he made by choosing her.

"They're all worried 'bout ya," he began as he sat down. He scooped some of the water with a small bowl and held it steadily with one hand. "I can't be out there without 'em askin' how you're doin'."

He used his free hand to lift her head and then brought the bowl to her lips. She took small sips, especially since it was difficult for her to swallow and he made sure not to give her too much. After a moment, she pinched her lips and he understood. As he pulled away, a few drops spilled on her skin and it felt good. She had fuzzy memories of a bath and it sounded like heaven at the moment. However, she knew Kouga just tended to her wounds and she felt bad to ask for a bath already. Yet, the feeling of that cold water droplets falling on her kept playing over and over in her mind.

Drinking water reminded her of how warm she felt.

"M-more," she grumbled.

Kouga hurried to obey. He gave her more water to drink immediately. By looking at her he could tell that if she could actually drink on her own, she would be gulping it down. He impatiently waited for her to finish drinking. Once she was done, he hurried to put the bowl down and then pressed a hand to her forehead. Again, she felt warm to the touch. It was not as bad as the last time, when he had no choice but to bring her in the water with him, but he remained concern. Was her fever dying down or was it slowly coming back?

"Are ya warm?"

She weakly nodded.

Unsure, he decided to go get someone. "I'll be right back."

He rushed outside and began looking left and right. "Anyone seen Miku?"

"She's in the main den."

Once again he ran until he found her. "I think she's runnin' another fever."

However, Miku was not looking at him, she was glancing at the ground. He followed her gaze and saw the cat. All its chest was wrapped up with bandages along with one of its paws. It's breathing was harsh but he could tell from its aura that he was no longer in danger of death. Kagome would be happy about that.

"Is it worse than before?"

"Not really but I don't think she was this warm last night."

She spent her time in his arms and he did not even feel her sweat. This had to be new.

Miku frowned before rising to her feet. She followed Kouga back to the den. He was in a rush, always slowing down because she was not keeping up with his pace. Miku smiled at his actions. "She is healin'. There is no need to worry so much." Kagome might still have a while to go before she was up and running but Miku knew she was improving. Humans were simply slower at healing.

Once, they finally arrive, Kouga moved out of the way to let Miku passed. The healer kneeled beside Kagome and greeted her with a nod. "Are you feelin' ill, child?"

All Kagome could do was offer a weak shrug. "W-warm."

She touched her forehead and although her temperature was higher than it should be it was not critic. Could it be that Kagome was so used to being cold that this felt very warm to her? Perhaps it was best to not take any chances.

"Did you just change her bandages?"

"I accidentally brushed up against her wounds," he said a bit defeated.

"Wait for the paste to dry and then, take her into the waterfall again."

"She has a fever again?"

"I don't wanna take any chances."

He nodded. "I will. Thank you."

Miku smiled at him as she stood up. Then, she put her hand on his shoulder and squeeze. "You do not need to worry this much."

He would anyway, though.

Feeling less tense, he joined Kagome. He would remain by her side until it was time to help her into the water again. This time it should be easier since she was more awake and conscious.

"I told ya I was gonna look after ya," he said while reaching out for her hand. He intertwined their fingers and held on to her. "If ya need something, tell me."

Her eyes moved to their joined hands and she blushed. At first she did attempt to tug away but her strength was close to non existent and his grip was much stronger than hers. After a few tugs, she gave up. He was a little forward but he was not doing anything wrong. Also, to be completely honest, she was glad someone was with her. She felt like hell and the last thing she wanted was to be alone. Even though she saw her injuries were better and her breathing improved, at times the pain terrified her; she believed herself to be dying when the torment took over. She did not want to die in a cave in the feudal era. But if she had to, she did not want to be all by herself.

When Kagome did not pull away, Kouga smiled brightly. It was obvious she did not react well to his proposal, though her judgement was clouded by Inutrasha, and for a moment he feared she might actual mean it. Now though as time went by she seemed more and more open to him and his proposal. That made him feel better. Though, he promised he would not actively pursue her until she was healed and better. He did not need her worrying about this or anything else for the time being.

Oh. That reminded him of the cat! "Would you like to see your friend?"

Her eyes breached open and he watched her shiny eyes as they filled with hope. "The cat," he added.

This time, light danced upon her eyes and she smiled. The relief was obvious in her face and he was glad. "I'll go get her. Ya gonna be alright?"

She weakly nodded.

He rushed to his feet and ran outside. Since he had to wait before bathing her, he might as well give her a moment with her friend now. He ran inside the main den and carefully laid down beside the neko. "Can I pick her up?"

"She should not really move on her own. Make sure ya are the one to carry her."

Kouga carefully wrapped his arms around the small, beige cat and held it close to his chest. Instead of running this time, he slowly walked back to his den. It took longer but he did not want to hurt his woman's friend. They were lucky enough it was alive. The cat did not move much until they were inside his den. Then, it wriggled its nose and opened its eyes once it recognized Kagome's scent. He kneeled by Kagome's bedside and put the cat beside her. He watched for a while as Kagome lifted her hand to pet the cat.

"Ki-r-rr-a," she croaked out.

The salty scent of the tears invaded the cave and then, he saw the tears sliding down his woman's cheeks. His heart squeezed in pain but he kept silent. They were probably tears of joy. She had to be happy the cat was alive.

As Kagome buried her face in the cat's pelt, he realized this was more of a private moment. "I'll be right outside," he spoke before dragging himself away.

Kagome did not reply. Instead, she kept her face close to Kirara. At the moment, Kirara represented home - at least her home in the Feudal Era. She also reminded Kagome of all her friends, of Inuyasha. At those thoughts, more tears came. She did not even try to hold them back. Her memory since her arrival in the wolf's den was fuzzy and she could not even remember if she cried so far. All she knew was that it felt good to let all out. It did not really help with the pain but it did relieve her from all the heaviness she felt deep inside.

She tangled her fingers in Kirara's fur, feeling the spots were the blood dried and left the pelt crusty. She also took notice of the bandages; Kirara was in worst shape than her. The simple fact that she, a youkai, was still hurting, meant the bird of paradise got her good. Kirara put herself in harm ways to protect Kagome and she could never repay her for that. She held on to her as tightly as she could, without hurting either of them, and soon enough she heard the cat purred. At least, it was as glad to see her as she was. Though, she imagined this was worse on Kirara than Kagome. Yes, Kagome missed and loved her friend but… Kirara and Sango were with each other since the very beginning.

"Soon," she managed to say which left her completely breathless.

She was dying for the pain in her lungs to lessen. She was tired of feeling like someone was crushing her chest with a rock. That feeling that she might be near death lurked upon her again and she brought herself even closer to Kirara.

Kirara nuzzled the side of Kagome's face, her eyes briefly opening.

The neko was just as hot as Kagome but neither of them felt it. Instead, they kept each other warm. Sometimes, Kagome felt Kirara quiver and she assumed her friend was weeping as well. It only made it that much harder for Kagome to contain her tears. She meant to stop, she meant to be stronger but she was exhausted and right now everything felt strange and foreign. Tomorrow, she would be strong, today she would be weak.

Meanwhile, far from the den was Kouga. He was sitting on the ground with his knees pressed in his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs. Their silent conversation and their auras caused his good mood to disappear. All he could feel was Kagome's pain. He did try not to listen and to give them privacy but he could not resist the urge. The sound of her crying was echoing in his mind and it drove him crazy. The more time went by, the more tears she shared. The cat's sad aura was not helping either. They were miserable.

He thought he was taking good care of Kagome. He thought he was helping her recover and showing her how much he could love her. Yet, the moment she saw her friend she broke down. Currently, she could not really talk but if she could, would she share with him just how much she missed her friends? It was important that her physical wound healed but what about her mind? Did it make her unhappy to be stuck with him here? There was no way he could move her, not without risking opening her wounds. Though, he could have brought her friends here. He saw them and he chose to keep her for himself.

Guilt slowly ate him alive and he suddenly found himself unable to remain where he was. He stood to his feet and began to walk away. At first he was taking slow steps but it was not helping; he could still hear her shedding tears. He chose to run. Faster and faster until he was leaving a whirlwind behind him. His feet were barely touching the ground and dust surrounded them. He heard Ginta and Hakkaku calling out from behind him but he ignored them. He never slowed them, he never gave them a reply.

He was a youkai with a mission. He refused to return to the den until he found a way to stop his woman's tears. There was no way she would cry because of him. He could not live with that.

There was no way he was bringing Inutrasha to his den but there was another friend he could bring for her.

The slayer.

She would make his woman happier.

-E-