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//OLD// I'm Here For You

By: YZZak
folder InuYasha › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating: Adult +
Chapters: 6
Views: 4,442
Reviews: 27
Recommended: 0
Currently Reading: 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.
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When You Feel Weak and All Alone

I'm Here For You

Chapter 5--- “When You Feel Weak and All Alone”



Perhaps Ginta would completely forget about him if he simply ran away. Somebody might be able to convince the wolf that the past week had been a dream. Or maybe they could do better; maybe they could convince him that there never was an Inuyasha, that he had subconsciously created an entire person.

Inuyasha sighed guiltily. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't simply abandon Ginta. He cradled his bruised and bleeding hand and glared at the tree that he had struck out of frustration with himself, and then turned his attention to the slumbering demon. Shaking his head, he sighed again, wanting everything to magically fix themselves.

He had expected it to happen; even though he tried to convince himself otherwise, he knew that it would turn out this way. As soon as the demon half of him returned, he found himself, once again, apprehensive about having feelings for another male. On the positive side, there weren't nearly as many conflicting arguments in his mind this time around; the youkai in him seemed as though it was finally beginning to accept his affection for Ginta. But no, that wasn't what made him so furious that morning. He could put up with his demonic nature, it was his heart that caused him problems. From the second he uttered the three words, he wanted to take them back. He knew it was forced-- he didn't truly love Ginta. 'Not yet,' he mentally repeated throughout the night, wanting to convince himself that he hadn't completely lied to the ookami. Even if the 'I love you' was forced that time, it would gain meaning later. What bugged him the most was that he was in complete control when he said it; he wasn't 'lost in the throes of passion.' He might have had a good excuse then. Instead, he thought that by saying it, he would cast away any remaining feelings for Kagome.

Proving himself wrong is what pissed him off to no end. Waking up that morning felt like relaxing in the hot springs... and then getting struck by lightning. Something didn't seem right. He had woken up to the scent of testosterone, semen, and wolf. Not the sweet smell of the blankets that carried Kagome's scent with them. He even missed the annoyingly cheerful sound of her voice calling out 'good morning.' What was supposed to be the perfect plan for moving on with his life without the girl turned out to bite him in the ass. He had kissed, made love to, and expressed his emotions toward Ginta all for nothing. As much as he wished to and tried to change things, it seemed that there was no way for him to want the wolf more than Kagome. And he knew that in the end Ginta would be the one hurting from all of this.

“I'm hurting him...” he mumbled almost silently with his shocked eyes staring at Ginta who was still snoozing by a tree. He walked over to the wolf and knelt down beside him, watching the delicate, parted lips move gently with each breath. “I'm hurting you...” he whispered more to himself than the youkai. He mentally kicked himself, calling himself every name he could think of. “Fuck Kagome,” he whispered, staring intently at Ginta. “I made a promise that I would never let anybody hurt you, and that includes myself.” He ran his unbruised hand softly across the other male's cheek. “I don't go back on promises. If you want my love... then I'll give it to you.” Pride and dignity meant a lot to the inu, and it was enough to satisfy his demon half. Without any hesitation or regret, he leaned down and placed his lips on Ginta's, silencing the boy's quiet breaths. *I can't make a guarantee as to when, but I will love you, I swear it...*

~*~

Most of the snow had already melted away from the bright morning sun. The clouds that had plagued the sky for the past week had moved on, allowing things to finally begin to warm up. Even with the chilly winds remaining in the area, the sun brought news that spring was soon arriving. Ginta smiled up into the blazing light, allowing its shine to shroud him.

It was definitely the greatest morning Ginta had ever woken up to. He wished that he could have remained in Inuyasha's arms all day, but the hanyou was right-- they both needed to go back to check in on their respective groups. Neither knew when they would see the other again, but the inu assured him that it would be soon. In the meantime, he had something more troublesome to worry about.

He lifted the front of his fur vest up to his nose and breathed deeply. He couldn't get enough of the half-demon's exotic scent and loved that it was all over him; he wished he could stay covered in it forever. The problem with that would arise the minute he returned back to the den. Kouga and Hakkaku would surely be able to detect that he had been with the inu all night. There would be no point in trying to hide it; he needed to come up with a way to explain it to them, Kouga more so than Hakkaku. In almost any case, the chance that his leader would accept his relationship with Inuyasha was very slim; however, Ginta was confident that with his intelligence, he would be able to convince the alpha wolf otherwise.

When he arrived back at home and stepped inside the main cave, he was immediately confronted by Kouga. “Where the Hell have you been?” he asked. It sounded as if the long-haired ookami was angry, but Ginta could detect a sliver of relief in his voice. “Hakkaku said that you went to get water and never came back, we thought you might have been-” the wolf prince paused and sniffed the air, raising an eyebrow at his pack-mate. “Why do-”

“Kouga,” Ginta interrupted, knowing that it was time to reveal his feelings for the hanyou, “I-”

“Why do you smell like that mutt?” the ebony-haired demon repeated louder than before. Hakkaku came up to Ginta as well and began to sniff around him, looking shocked when he picked up Inuyasha's scent.

“Well you see, K-Kouga,” the quiet wolf said nervously, “Inuyasha was upset that Kagome had become so attached to you. So I-”

“Really?” Kouga jumped in, smirking at the thought. “It's about time that half-breed realized that he wasn't good enough for Kagome.” Hakkaku shook his head at how easily his leader had gotten off topic. Curious as to why Inuyasha's scent covered his friend, he nudged Ginta, urging him to continue.

Ginta bit his lip painfully to silence himself from recklessly lashing out at Kouga. He knew he shouldn't allow Kouga to talk about the hanyou in that way, but he also knew better than to argue with his alpha. “Well... he.... he doesn't really want her anymore.” He watched his leader's azure eyes sparkle with delight as the words left his mouth. The smirk widened enough to expose sharp fangs and a quiet chuckle rumbled in Kouga's chest. Ginta stared at the ground, unsure of how the next part would strike the other wolves. “So that's why... m-me and Inu...yasha are...” he swallowed dryly and muttered, “together...”

Abrupt silence filled the den, making it seem as if time had stopped completely. Ginta was terrified to look up. He could feel it in his heart; he could sense that Kouga was angry enough to rip something apart. The frightened wolf knew that he would be the one to suffer from the youkai's rage. He turned his head to the side and took a deep breath as he tensed all of his muscles, bracing himself for a vicious blow. An arm laid against his chest, pushing him back carefully, almost protectively.

“Kouga,” came Hakkaku's voice, quietly and calmly, “this doesn't have to be a bad thing.” Ginta heard a furious growl and felt fearful tears come to his eyes. “I mean... If Inuyasha's with Ginta, then nobody will be in the way of you and Kagome.”

“Doesn't have to be a bad thing,” Kouga spat out disgustedly. “What in the fucking world makes this a good thing? Nobody in this tribe is going to even associate with that filthy mutt! I'd have to be dead and gone before I let somebody bring that half-breed into our family!” he bellowed. “Do you understand me, Ginta?” The singled-out wolf could do nothing but cry, no comprehensible words left his mouth. Kouga shook his head, “You need to rethink whatever these... feelings are that you have for the mutt. Nobody in my pack is going to mate with a half-blood, especially Inuyasha!” A heavy sigh left the wolf's mouth. “Just... get out of my sight...”

It was clear that Kouga had nothing else to say; the wolf's discontent was apparent. Ginta hastily left the room, entered his and Hakkaku's cave, and dropped down onto the makeshift fur bed. He held a soft blanket close to him and cried into it, matting down the chestnut-colored fur. How stupid was he? To think that he would be able to talk Kouga into accepting his love for Inuyasha. He would have been better off finding a hot spring to wash the scent off of him and continue to hide his feelings from his pack. He held the blanket tighter, wishing that he had the hanyou's arms around him again.

A small, nearly hidden part of his ego told him to run away, that he didn't need Kouga. As tempting as it sounded, he couldn't talk himself into doing so. He was too weak to make it on his own. His dominant demonic spirit had died long ago when he was picked up by the panther demons. The abuse as an adolescent made him tame, subservient even. The effects of that experience followed him to where he was now. Even if Kouga was a much kinder leader than that of the panther tribe he had encountered, he would still do almost anything that his leader told him to do; maybe even forget his feelings for Inuyasha. Maybe.

“Ginta...” came Hakkaku's voice softly. The blond demon knelt and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. “Kouga's just overreacting a bit. I'm sure he'll be over it by this time tomorrow,” he said optimistically, hoping that Ginta was listening closely. “All you need to do is make sure you're over Inuyasha by then.”

For a second, Ginta was too shocked to respond. Did Hakkaku really just say that he needed to forget about his love for Inuyasha? “You... don't want me with him?” he asked slowly, sounding heartbroken. After receiving an affirmative response from the other male, he shook his head and buried his face deeper into the blanket. How could his best friend ask him to toss aside his feelings? It seemed to Ginta that disregarding one's love was a vicious thing to do, and Hakkaku would never follow orders if they were too extreme. Why didn't he feel that this was a bit over the line for Kouga? The sobbing wolf concluded that somewhere inside his friend rested some sort of prejudice. Possibly a 'half-demons are good enough to be acquainted with our tribe, but not good enough to mate with somebody in our tribe' sort of feeling. Ginta didn't want to think that; he didn't want to believe that Hakkaku held even the smallest bit of a racist attitude. Still, for a second, he tried to convince himself that his own feelings were wrong. He tried to spontaneously generate some hate for Inuyasha, but all that came out was anger toward his leader and friend.

Kouga's voice sounded from the cave entrance, calling for Hakkaku to come with him. Ginta remained alone in the cave, clutching the dampening fur tightly, desperately wanting Inuyasha to be there with him.

~*~

Inuyasha tried hard that morning to hide his cheerfulness from his group. They knew that he had slept somewhere else the night before; it would be odd if he seemed happy after a night of (what they thought was) isolation. He was proud of himself, it seemed as if he finally moved on with his feelings and desires. Ginta was the only person he could think about.

That lasted all of an hour. As soon as Kagome finally came up to apologize for what happened, his love for her grew back and he suddenly felt like he should beg the girl for her forgiveness after he had strayed away from her. He hated these feelings but couldn't get rid of them. His relationship with Ginta was like a beautiful garden filled with the most delicate flowers, and his love for Kagome was the weeds that grew in the garden. To make things worse, there was also an infestation of pests that would randomly appear in the flowerbed; and judging by the scent in the air, the blight was returning.

“Yo,” Kouga said, grinning slightly at Kagome. Something about his attitude seemed off to Inuyasha. It didn't take the hanyou long to realize what was going on. He noticed the brief, scornful glances directed toward him from, not just Kouga, but also Hakkaku, which brought about the fact that there was only two of them there-- no Ginta. Obviously, from the spiteful looks, they knew what had happened between him and the absent youkai. It was understandable for the two ookami to disapprove of their relationship, but Ginta not being with them could mean a lot of things. He wanted to believe that even Kouga wasn't stupid and vile enough to cause harm to his kin for any reason, but his heart told him that he needed to make sure that his lover was safe.

He didn't bother to explain his departure from the area, he simply began running off toward the wolf-den. Almost immediately, he heard frantic footsteps behind him and felt something hard hit his shoulder blade, causing him to stumble before coming to a halt. He spun around and faced his attacker, staring intensely into their sapphire-colored eyes.

“You stay away from Ginta, mutt,” Kouga growled through his teeth, readying himself to strike again.

Inuyasha growled right back at the wolf. “I swear, Kouga, if you hurt him, I'll kill you...” He dodged another attack and removed the Tetsusaiga from its sheath. He focused on Kouga's demonic aura and truly considered releasing the Backlash Wave and ending the wolf's life then and there. But he thought about Ginta, about how the poor demon didn't even know his real family. Kouga and Hakkaku were Ginta's only companions; it would be horrible to take one of them away from him. Inuyasha exhaled sharply before jumping out of the way of a roundhouse kick.

The angry ookami continued an onslaught of attacks and Inuyasha continued to evade until, finally, he saw an opening. With a bitter grunt, he unleashed the Wind Scar. Kouga jumped out of the way, avoiding most of the attack. His left leg, however, was struck with the full force of Inuyasha's strength. The hanyou watched the ookami yell out and clutch his leg as he lay on the ground. The demon glared at the half-demon and tried to stand, but was unable to. Soon enough, Kagome's concerned voice could be heard off in the distance, yelling for the two men. Not wanting to deal with her and Kouga any longer, Inuyasha sped off toward the mountains.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Awesome, I've shortened my update time from 2 months to 1 month -_- I'm still taking longer than I'd like- sorry about that. I've been sick for the past two weeks- so that's one of the reasons for the delayed update @_@

Anyways... Gah I hate making Kouga the bad guy T_T What's worse is that I think that everybody is slowly progressing to a state of out-of-characterness. Inuyasha seems too puppy-lovey. Ginta seems too weak. Kagome seems too sluttish. And I can't decide if I'm making Kouga [i]too[/i] much of an asshole. Outside opinions on these are welcome ^_^ If their personalities seem a bit out of whack, given the situation that they're in, then let me know and I'll find a way to tidy it up.

Random funny side note::: At the time of submitting this chapter, I have 6 stories and 66 reviews. *Grows devil horns*


vashta::: XD I can't stand her either. I'll make sure to do something mean to her so that we can get a kick out of it. As for Kouga... isn't it a bad enough punishment that I'm making him chase after Kagome? lol

tolani::: Gah T_T I promise that by the end of this, the chapters will be coming at least every week and a half! lol

peyaluna::: Definitely a bumpy road *nods* Inuyasha's still fighting with his emotions, and now Kouga knows about it all. Thanks for pointing out the little craziness I had with not mentioning how Ginta was able to submit to a human. I tried touching on that a bit in this chapter to hopefully clear up a little the way that my mind was seeing it-- how the abuse from his past has suppressed his natural dominance. I'm no psychologist, but I think that it can work that way... lol
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