What the Hell Does She Think She's Doing?

Summary: big surprise, the cast from yet another story gets together to bitch and moan after the second chapter.


This is Gonna be a Pain in the Ass Intermission

“You know what I don’t get? I don’t get why I couldn’t have sex, but you could.” Inuyasha said to Miroku grumpily.

“It was off-set anyway, why does it matter? I didn’t get to ‘really’ have sex no matter what.”

“Off-set? What are you now, a movie star?”

“Well, there have been offers…”

“In your dreams, dumbass.” Inuyasha snorted, leaning his head back against the seat of the booth. “Seriously, though. I don’t get it. I didn’t think the author was into that sort of sex.”

“She’s not.” Sango said, cutting her asparagus into small pieces. “Don’t worry, there’s a reason.”

“You mean we really didn’t have sex?” Miroku asked, curious.

“I refuse to say.”

“You don’t know jack shit.” Inuyasha muttered, annoyed. “You’re just yanking us.”

“Again, I refuse to say.”

Miroku and Inuyasha chewed on their lips.

“DO we have sex?” Miroku finally asked.

“Not telling.” Sango said calmly.

Inuyasha watched her for another minute and finally snorted. “Eh, you don’t know. There’s no way you COULD know.”

“I got an advance copy.” Sango said smugly.

“Advance copy?” Miroku asked slowly. “Hey, what about mine? I’m her favorite! Where’s MY advance copy??”

“She didn’t want you to know what was coming. The author thinks your reactions will be more ‘realistic’ that way.” Sango said smoothly.

“Realistic? What kind of scene does she need realism for?? It’s a- a- slapstick for the love of… What’s coming??”

Sango and Kagome shared a glance and giggled.

Inuyasha snorted. “Dude, if they’re both laughing at you, you are really in for it.”

“How do you know YOU’RE not in for it?” Miroku shot back.

“Well, because…” Inuyasha looked at the two girls across from him in the booth and his ears flattened as they giggled again. “Oh crap.”

“Exactly.”

“C’mon…Kagome, Sango told you?”

Kagome nodded, humming to herself as she popped a cheese slathered fry into her mouth.

“Can’t you give me a hint? Just a little one?”

“Nope,” she said cheerfully. “You’ll find out.”

“But …Sango, c’mon, you like me, don’t you? I NEVER do stuff to you! I even requested a sex scene for you and Miroku!”

Sango nodded, “That’s true.”

“Please?”

“I’ll think about it. Call me after you get home.”

Inuyasha flashed a triumphant grin at Miroku’s disgruntled face. “Ha! Everyone’ll know but you!”

“That’s not very fair, Sango, and you know it,” Miroku said grumpily.

“Poor baby. Maybe the author will re-title the story ‘This is Gonna be Unfair,’ just for you.”

Kagome started snorting soda out of her nose as Inuyasha chuckled.

“Sango, wait until I’m not drinking before you say something like that!” Kagome said, wiping her face.

“Sorry.” Sango said, unrepentant.

She and Kagome looked at Miroku, trading smiles again. Miroku gave them one good scowl and then concentrated on his burger. “I’m just going to ignore you like the obnoxious brats you are.”

Sango looked at the top of his bent head before she started to grin.

“You know which part I liked the best? The part where Miroku realizes...”

Kagome giggled as Miroku stopped chewing. “God, yes, that was hysterical! He was so upset!”

Miroku stared at his plate and took a large, annoyed bite out of his burger. “La la la la, I can’t hear you,” he chanted after he swallowed

“Or when the daimyou’s son is…”

Kagome waved her hands in front of her. “Don’t give that one away!” she said, eyes on Miroku.

“I don’t care, you two,” he said, chewing determinedly.

“Oh right, they know you better than that.” Inuyasha taunted, gesturing with the piece of steak on his fork. “You can’t stand not knowing what’s going on. You’re worse than the paparazzi when it comes to ‘needing to know.’ “

Miroku put his burger on his plate to stare at Inuyasha. “I have a healthy curiosity, that’s all.”

Kagome and Sango choked on their food as Inuyasha laughed at him. “Get real. You know as soon as you get outta here, you’ll be emailing the author to ask what’s going on.”

“I wouldn’t dream of bothering the author over something so trivial,” Miroku said pompously, and then grinned. “Not when I can simply steal it out of Sango’s purse.”

He held up a dog-eared set of pages just as Sango gasped and yanked her purse up from the floor underneath the table.

“You thief! Give it back!”

“No way, finders keepers! Hold ‘em off, Inuyasha!” Miroku ordered, flipping through the pages as rapidly as he could. Inuyasha laid across the table to block the two women from crawling over, slapping at their hands and pushing them back into their side of the booth.

“Okay, here’s my night, and yours…wow, that sucked, didn’t it?”

“I know! Hurry it up!”

“I’m not telling you anything, now, you traitor!” Sango yelled at Inuyasha.

He grinned at her, panting as he continued to hold her and Kagome away from his larcenous friend. “Hey, a bird in the hand, and all that!”

“Okay, almost there. The next day, traveling…ooooh, is this one gonna piss you off, Inuyasha. And…You are fucking KIDDING me!!” Miroku yelled, staring at the papers in his hands.

Sango and Kagome slumped back against their seats, foiled, and Inuyasha slid off the table.

Miroku was staring into space.

“Miroku?” Inuyasha waved his hand in front of his face. “Miroku! Oy! Snap out of it!”

Sango reached over and snagged the advance copy out of Miroku’s unresisting hands.

“I –I’m going to- And YOU! You’re…”

“Yes? And what of it?”

“But that CAN’T be what happens? I have plans! Hell, I even have some requests in!”

“I guess they’ll have to be changed then,” Sango said.


“But…that CAN’T be what happens! Do you really have to…?”

“She wrote it, so I guess so.”

“Woah.” Miroku said, staring at her. “Okay, well, this will definitely be a first for her.”

“Yeah, we’ll see how she does with it.”

He and Sango stared at each other, Miroku’s lips slowly turning up.

“Actually, this might be rather fun.”

“No, that was the last story.” Inuyasha snarled. “Don’t you remember? THIS is gonna be a pain in the ass; kind of like BOTH OF YOU TALKING ABOUT SHIT THAT I STILL DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT!!!”

“Aw, poor baby. So unfair.” Kagome said, “Do we need to change the title for you now, instead?”

“Oh shut up.” Inuyasha grumbled, flopping back against his seat.

Miroku sat back against the seat as well, the small smile still lingering on his face until Inuyasha poked him in the shoulder.

“And what’s with that sappy smiling?” Inuyasha snapped.

“I’ll tell you later.” Miroku said, looking back at Sango and smiling again.

“Hmph.” Inuyasha groused, and went back to his steak, muttering.