A Dream Come True

Disclaimer - Wait a minute...I'm not sure...hummm, let me think. Yes well, hummm...maybe? No. No, that’s right, I don't own Inuyasha.

Thoughts - Ok-I’ll just put this out in the open. So far it hasn’t come up but I figure that it needs to be said. I am NOT a Kikyo basher. My reasoning? It is because of her that there even is an Inuyasha. Think about it. No Kikyo, no Inuyasha Romance = no Kagome reincarnation = no Kagome/Sesshomaru pairing. Actually, just no Sesshomaru at all…! NOOO!!!! So anyway, if you want to be technical, there you go. But she does serve a purpose as far as plots go…


Chapter 5: We Unhappy Wretches

Translation Box:
Matte - Wait

Whom shall I call on? Who will share with me the wretched happiness of staying alive?
~Sergei Yesenin

“You would think a woman would know better, then to be foolish enough to tell someone.” Sesshomaru said strangely.

Kagome looked from him to Inuyasha to Kikyo again, beginning to feel something almost like despair begin to fill her mind.

Why was she here? Because Inuyasha claimed to have some sort of irrefutable proof that there was someone else out there who was her attacker?
God how she hated that word…attacker…victim…two words that made the shame within her seem to bubble up more and more, until it was overflowing.

She narrowed her eyes angrily at herself. She was not weak! She would not feel self pity for herself - now or ever. She was here only because-

She paused.

‘Why did I come? I house no hope for the chance I blamed the wrong person. Ultimately it changes nothing even if I have…’

But if she was wrong, then the one who had molested her was still out there.

They could…or would do it again to someone else.

That was why she was there, even though she didn’t want to care…didn’t want to dig anymore. But even though she had suffered, another person did not deserve to.

“Inuyasha-” Her words were cut off with a swift motion of Inuyasha’s hand, and she saw his amber eyes harden, his jaw clenching as he looked back at Kikyo.

“She knows, she just won’t speak.”

Kikyo glared at him and Kagome wondered why Kikyo wasn’t trying to disappear as she often did. As if reading her thoughts, Sesshomaru answered her.

“She is under an enchantment.” Kagome looked over at the priestess in surprise.

‘Must be a strong one…she doesn’t look happy about it…’

“Will someone explain at least ‘some’ of what’s going on?” She asked, her voice soft as she stared at the other woman who glowered at them, still refusing to speak.

“You fools may be willing to go on like this for hours, but I am not! Speak, or I will kill you.” Sesshomaru said coldly to the still priestess.

She remained silent for a moment and then-

“I would rather die…then tell that little bitch anything…she took Inuyasha from me. I refuse to give her any explanation-” Kikyo said stopping abruptly, her words making Kagome take a step back in reflex.

“Kikyo…if you want to live, tell Kagome…finish that statement!” Inuyasha pleaded with her, his golden eyes softening slightly.

Kikyo smiled slightly before glancing at her reincarnation that stood beside him.

“I told you the truth Inuyasha…because you deserved it after what Naraku did to us. She deserved what she got if she can’t even remember what happened! If it happened again, could she even tell them apart?”

There was a flash of white, as in an uncharacteristic show of emotion, Sesshomaru appeared before Kikyo, grasping her by her thin neck.

“Tell them…apart?” Kagome’s mind thought in surprise. Eyes widening, her mind wandered back to that night and she shuddered involuntarily, hesitating slightly as she heard the voice of ‘Inuyasha’ begin to sound in her ears.

She swallowed hard, forcing herself to remember the way he had laid there afterwards…and then how she had gotten up and walked away. He’d been naked, just laying there…then…wait.

*“Whore! Little slut! Those rumors are true aren’t they? You gave yourself to Koga! I’ll kill him for touching you! No…I’ll kill him just for looking at you!” He snarled as he fumbled with the tie of his pants.*

“His pants…” She whispered, her legs buckling under her as she fell to the ground to kneel there.

She never realized that she’d even moved.

“He was wearing pants…but then again, he could have just put them on again before coming after me. But then why bother?” Her eyebrows came together in thought. Something about his clothing seemed off…there was something… something niggling at the back of her mind but she couldn’t-

Then she heard a jingle and her eyes snapped up. Inuyasha was kneeling beside here, giving her a concerned look.

‘That sound…’ Her eyes traveled to the enchanted rosary around his neck, the black beads clicking together softly.

*“I said shut up!” With that his hand came out with lightning speed, hitting her across the face, and sending her body sprawling onto the hard ground.

He was on top of her almost instantly; his hands clenching within the folds of her shirt and ripping it open to bare her bra.*

“Inuyasha, stand up again!” Kagome said suddenly, doing just that.

He gave her a confused look but did as she asked, the only sound being the crinkling of his clothes rubbing against itself.

She listened as something in his body cracked, and lastly she heard his necklace clicking together, the beads moved around on their enchanted silk string.

“Now pretend to hit me.”

This time he really did stare at her.

“Hit-?”

“Kikyo is right - I should remember. Now do it!”

Something was wrong…his beads…something about those beads. He couldn’t take them off - they were unbreakable.

Inuyasha’s ears flattened against his head in protest but did as she said. Hesitantly, his body turned to the side, his arm coming out to swipe past her face, the rest of his body turning from the momentum.

She ducked backwards out of reflex and tripped, landing with an ‘oomph’ on the ground, her butt hitting a rock, making her bite her lip in pain. She ignored it, instead listening to the sounds of fabric and the clicking of his enchanted necklace.

“Now…fall on me…” She said the words so timidly that he thought at first that he hadn’t heard them.

“Kagome. What are you doing, foolish woman?” Sesshomaru asked with heatless irritation.

She looked at him and then away at a patch of grass a few feet away.

“I’m recreating that night.” She said it firmer then she had expected she’d be able to and praised the gods for it.

Sesshomaru’s eyes widened marginally as did his brother’s.

“Kagome, why in the world-”

“Just do it, damn you!” Kagome said, her nerves finally rubbed raw.

She was tired, stressing herself out, and trying to block out the hatred she felt for the hanyou n front of her, all at the same time. She couldn’t take his questions on top of it all. She needed for him just to do it.

He nodded, and gulping, fell forwards, catching himself with his hands a few centimeters above her.

*“Stupid fool! I’ve already had you! Cooperate or there will be more pain!” He snarled as his right hand jerked up her green uniform skirt and slashed away her lacy white underwear. His chest looming above her.*

She heard a loud jingling directly above her head where Inuyasha’s neck had landed and her eyes bugged open in realization.

‘No…’

“Oh…oh my god…” Apologetically, Inuyasha gently got off of her but she wasn’t paying attention. Spinning around, she walked towards Kikyo and when she was a foot away, pointed a slender finger right into the middle of her face.

“His necklace…his god damn necklace…it wasn’t on him!” She said in rage, feeling her other hand curl into a fist.

“Well, well…it seems that after an entire year, you’ve finally caught on.” Kikyo said with fake sweetness, abruptly spitting at her feet.

‘His chest was bare where it would have hung down!’

“And you would not have realized it to this day if I hadn’t given you such a little hint. To think that all this time you blamed an innocent man for such a small mistake! God what a fool! And he wanted your love over mine!”

Kagome felt numb, her eyes unfocused as she buried one of her hands into her hair, the other still curled into a fist so hard her long nails were drawing blood from her palm.

“How dare you?”

With a growl, Sesshomaru’s claws began to glow green around her throat and her eyes widened as she screamed, her hands clawing out to try and get away from the corrosive acid eating at her skin. Transfixed, Kagome could only stand there, Inuyasha doing the same, his head bowed in shame, silver bangs shading his eyes from view.

“Wait!” Kagome said suddenly, making Sesshomaru pause, the deadly green acid dissipating as fast as it had come.

Walking forwards, she held Kikyo’s brown eyes with her own. Stopping right before her, the sound of a loud slap echoed through the air seconds later.

Stepping back, Kagome spit on the ground in front of the other woman as she herself had done earlier and turned her back on her.

“Do what you want with her Sesshomaru…I’m done.”

“I will kill her if you tell me that.”

Her eyes closed, her head tilting back slightly to stare out at the noon day sun.

It was so bright…so sunny. And it shouldn’t have been. The skies should have opened up - lightning cracking and thunder rolling - so why was it all just like some ordinary day?

“For one whole year I thought the man I loved betrayed me…and you knew and didn’t care. How…”

Her priestess powers spiked, her hair lifting slightly from her shoulders in her anger.

“How could you just sit by and know that? After all that’s happened…”

She looked back at her.

“I thought you were better then that Kikyo. But I guess I was even more wrong then I thought.”

And she turned her face away, her bangs shading her eyes.

‘I need peace…’

“Do it. She will not say anything else to us. We will have to find the master-planner on our own.”

Screaming an obscenity at her, Kikyo lashed out at the white clad demon holding her, her own priestess powers flaring up before dying out almost abruptly. Knowing her end was near, the undead woman gave a howl of rage and fear, looking at Inuyasha and screaming his name to try for one last attempt at her life.

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at her, the deadly green color of his poison sparkling brightly.

Kikyo gasped at the tightening pressure around her neck, Inuyasha taking a step forward as if to stop his brother. But then he stopped, the arm he had raised to reach out to her, slowly lowering itself.

“I can’t…and won’t help you now Kikyo…not now.” The words were soft, wobbly…as if the very wind could knock them over and scatter them into a million pieces just as the jewel had been when he had first met Kagome.

His former lover’s eyes widened in surprise, one slender arm reaching out as if to try and force him to her.

The green poison flared around her neck as she did so making her teeth grit together in pain. Kagome watched his fingers tighten around her white neck, Kikyo’s body writhing in anguish.

Her mouth opened to scream, hands clawing frantically at the claws that held her prisoner. Her eyes focused on Inuyasha once again, her mouth forming her last desperate words. She did not have much more time.

“In-yak-a! I lov-ak-ak-k…!”

The sound of breaking bones seemed to echo around them, Kikyo’s cheerless eyes clouding over as her air supply closed off. And in one quick motion, his claws snapped her neck; her body became limp as her eyes slowly drifted shut.

‘…you…’ The word seemed to hang in the very air around them as her body slowly began to dissolve into bones and graveyard soil. From beside her, Inuyasha gave a strangled cry and fell to his knees, his hands tangling into his hair as he rocked back and forth gently. Kagome was silent as she watched her lover step away, his long white robes catching in the summer air to flow behind him.

Their eyes met.

“She knew what happened because she helped.” Sesshomaru said with disgust, glancing pointedly at the dusty ashes, no morose of any kind gracing his features.

“I…” Kagome found herself unable to speak as she felt a strong gust of wind pick up the remaining ashes and begin to scatter them across the field. She felt numb and weightless as she looked from them to Inuyasha, who was still weeping at her feet. She felt suddenly like half of her was gone…and yet not all at the same time.

As if her mind was willing it of her.

She felt miseries of episodes long past flash through her mind, not just of the past year but of before that…when she had been pure. It seemed now like it was all a game…some sick game that she had been cheated into losing…forbidden from winning all this time.

“All this time…you were telling the truth, and I-” She broke off, tears finally beginning to cloud her vision as she too fell to the ground. Her small hands were lifted palm up as she looked at them, her neck lowering so that her face was shaded by her bangs once again. But Sesshomaru could still see the glistening of her tears as they began to streak down her face.

“I…I couldn’t trust you…! I just went of believing that it was all-” Her hands west to cover her face, and a loan howl of pain and unhappiness wafted through the air as she began to sob.

He could do nothing. Say nothing…feel nothing as remained there, his face passive as he watched her, her shaking back, her glistening hair, her impenetrable shields collapsing the way he had only see icicles at his castle when they had fallen from great heights only to smash into splinters when the ground finally came.

“I took the liberty of looking into her mind and saw it there but she was somehow able to block me off from seeing who was masterminding it.” His words were almost gentle and he took a step forward before catching himself and stepping back again.

The truth was out…he was not needed any longer and so had no place here. His sharp eyes however could not stop from allay her pain as he reached out to her mentally, even if he knew she would not hear.

“What…how could she…what have I ever done to her?” Her words became chocked as fierce memories of hate and sorrow crashed down on her.

She couldn’t take it. All of it…and for so long she had to break - had to explode.

Throwing her head back, she screamed her every regret into the air. Choking as she lost all her breath, she only gasped in more air to scream again, her body falling forwards onto the soft grass, her hands fisting into the dirt below it.

Sesshomaru turned his head to the side, his emotions tightly leashed within him at the show of emotion. He understood her then. Now…that she had found the truth it had not fixed anything…if nothing else, it had only made things worse for her. Because now, she would go on, possibly for the rest of her life, with the guilt that she had done the same thing that Kikyo had done…had looked away when she could have looked deeper.

He watched her bury her face into the grass and scream again, though not as loud as before; her vocal cords straining with the unaccustomed abuse.

She would never be the same. There was no justice for her now. Hurt and full of hatred as she had been, was far better then being chased by indestructible demons; tortured every second with the knowledge of being tricked into destroying her own life. Because that was it. It had destroyed her life. She would still never be able to touch Inuyasha, the man she had once loved…never be able to go back to what they had. He damned himself then. Damned himself for letting her know the truth…letting her get sliced with both sides of the metaphorical double edged sword. Something within him clenched at her pain but he could not bring himself to look at her or his brother. For all the tears and suffering he had inflicted upon others over the years, it seemed like Hell was paying him back for it all right now…by forcing him to see the grief of others…others who in some way were connected to him.

The demon side of him wanted to leave then…leave and never look back on her or his brother and forget the reason why he had come in the first place. But something else within him…the part of him that wielded Tenseiga…it wanted to stay.

“I hate you…I hate you ALL for what you’ve done to me!” She whispered as she rolled onto her side, her body curling into a little ball. Her ragged sobs had turned to whimpers now, her body becoming weak as she became drowsy.

So many regrets…he had in those few moments. The regret of becoming what he was; the regret of the inability to cure his lover’s pains…the regret of destroying everything that his brother held dear. But he would never tell anyone…his pride would not allow it. He would stand firm as he was now - and never break…never falter; because he had always been like that…always been forced to be like that. It had been ingrained in him since he was a small child…all thanks to his mother.

“I had a life…I had a future with friends…and now all I have it this! I have anger and no feelings of self worth! I hate you…I…hate you…all…” Her eyes closed then, her body convulsing as she curled inside herself more. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Inuyasha crawl over to her and bring her limp body against his chest, his arms cradling her. He felt whatever it was that had clenched before, clench again at the sight, and for a moment saw himself…himself holding a woman he had loved long ago as she had died, frail and translucent in her passing. He closed his eyes against the memories and knew it was only a matter of time before something else happened to trigger them into action.

That woman…the only woman who had ever mattered to him in his lonely life-

-and his mother had had her killed for it.

“Sesshomaru…go.” Inuyasha said in a raspy whisper, cradling her body closer.

Sesshomaru turned to look at him, and saw Inuyasha’s face buried within her shoulder, one hand gripping her waist while the other gently tangled in her hair. Sesshomaru didn’t move.

“I said, GO!” Inuyasha said, screaming the last word against the fabric of Kagome’s shirt.

Unable to move, he remained still, his robes swishing behind him, before he finally looked away with a small nod and turned to go.

‘Joy is only a word…but pain is real…a bitter taste upon the tongue, because it embeds itself inside your brain…'

It began to rain.

'It makes it seem like smiles are only temporary…while tears last forever…staining our hearts with their grief…'

“I’m so sorry Kagome…” He buried his face deeper into her shirt, his ears drooping in misery at the loss of his last love and the defilement of his new one.

'Memories can be broken…but spirits never die…they instead go on remembering all the things that time has done to create them…'

Standing, Inuyasha held her bridal style within his arms and slowly began to walk towards the well, the rain pouring down harder upon them both. He didn’t notice.

'Making sure that while hearts are never fleeting…the faces will never fail…to recognize you, to remind you, to torment you with what you are.'

His knees almost buckled under him but he forced himself upright again, his strides jerky and unfocused as he treaded unsteadily through the raining forest.

'Hell will shine on you…as Heaven tosses you away…and then you will fall…'

He tripped over a root and began to fall but flipped himself over, his arms coming around her to protect her body from the descent.

'And you will break…because there is no way you cannot…'

As he laid there on the ground, the first roll of thunder was heard a short ways away and Inuyasha found he could no longer make his body move. Dragging them under a large tree, he looked up, water droplets falling onto his face.

'You have to remember that the fire replenishes…where water destroys…and helps to heat a frozen heart.'

“I don’t know what I can do…for her or me now…but I know that I can ask you for help…” He said out loud as lightening streaked across the sky.

'And when you mess up…the frustration will weigh down heavily upon your soul…making you feel crushed underneath the pressure…'

He clutched her closer to him, his numb mind instinctively keeping the thing he loved most nearest to him. He lowered his head then to look at her, and kissed her forehead gently.

'That you do not loose your hope.'

She whimpered in her sleep, her face turning away from him, and one of his fists clenched.

'There is silence now…and it will stay…because it means that you are pausing…'

The rain began to beat down even harder, causing Inuyasha to find himself growing sleepy, knowing that he would not be able to make it to her home.

'And then you feel yourself letting go…so you do…and then you’re gone…’

His eyes thought they saw a ray of sunshine as they closed…but then he knew only darkness, the ray dissipating within the cleansing rain.

'And as you leave, the ones around you falter…because as much as you didn’t realize it…they still needed you.’

*****

“Jaken.”

It was beginning to rain, the droplets soft and light. But Sesshomaru knew they would soon intensify.

“Hai Sesshomaru-sama!” A small voice squeaked as a small toad-like demon came out of his hiding place from behind a nearby pine tree. Its dark green robes smudged with dirt and pine needles.

“Jaken, where is Rin?” Sesshomaru asked expressionlessly.

Just as Jaken was about to answer, the said person appeared, squealing in happiness as she latched herself onto his waist.

“I missed you my lord!” An eight year old Rin said happily.

Used to her enthusiastic welcome, he gently pulled her away. The rain began to pour harder, the static feeling of electricity building up within the air, telling him that lightening was forming above them.

“We are leaving.” He said simply, Rin reaching into her kimono pocket to nibble on a few berries she had with her.

“Is Kagome-chan coming?” Rin asked as he stood. Pausing at her question, he leaned down again to her eye level.

“Why would you think that Rin?”

The little girl smiled toothily.

“Because you always go to see her.”

Sesshomaru’s eyes glanced away to Jaken as the vassal tripped over his staff clumsily. A crack of lightening arched across the sky above them and Rin shrieked in surprise.

Squinting his eyes, he caught sight of a large cave ahead of them and after placing an enchantment over them to keep them dry, quickly set off.

‘Her answer is innocent enough…’ He thought as they reached the cave and hastily entered. However her next question caught him off guard.

“Can Kagome-chan come to live with us? Then we could always play and you could see her whenever you wanted without leaving me and master Jaken alone so much!”

Sesshomaru looked sharply down at her but Rin didn’t seem to notice and began to happily braid his two headed dragon’s mane.

She had chosen to do Un first.

“Sesshomaru-sama…your not angry with me are you?” Rin asked softly as she finished with Un and started on Ah.

Sesshomaru had to stop himself from closing his eyes at the ridiculous display his dragon now made. The thing was supposed to be the epitome of fear - instead it was the coddling toy of his adopted child.

All it lacked was his ward’s infamous flower crowns.

He looked over at her then, and shook his head in surprise as he sat on top of a large boulder near the mouth of the cave. Rin walked over to him.

‘Why would I be - ah…I see now. Her impertinence from earlier.’

Rin grinned up at him and crawled into his lap.

She hadn’t done that in a while. It made him sad to see that while she was still small enough to do so, it was only a matter of time before she could not. He sighed inwardly. He allowed himself too much leniency while dealing with the child. He needed to find it within himself to distance himself from her self-indulgent acts.

His arms made no move to hold her but she didn’t seem to care or notice and only started rambling on again about the herbs that would make his dragon smell “beautiful”.

‘Kagome…living within my home?’ He thought calmly despite the feel of his blood as it sped up.

‘I know that I have gone to see her quite a lot in the past few days and over the months, so I should not be so surprised at Rin saying such a thing…’ He thought mildly, Jaken’s shriek of alarm as Rin crawled down from his lap and tried to make him eat a clump of prickly burdock almost making him smile.

His eye twitched in irritation at his thoughts as they persisted.

‘There is no help for it, I will return to her later. I must think and regroup since she is with Inuyasha now…and they have much to talk about.’

“Jaken.” He said sharply as he stood.

Instantly Rin stopped her terrorization of his vassal and Jaken obligingly jumped to his feet and bowed, his act somewhat limited because of the pain shooting up his right nostril from the burdock Rin had been forcing on him.

“I will return later.” He said neutrally, stepped into the rain.

Rin let out a shout of surprise at her masters sudden departure and jumped up.

“Matte, Sesshomaru-sama!”

In her animation, she threw the large clump of burdock thistles behind her and Sesshomaru heard a loud “EEP!” as they covered his vassal from head to toe in their prickly brambles.

A smile tugged at his mouth once again, as he looked down to Rin and nodded back to the inside of the cave. She pouted disappointedly at him but he held firm; sighing softly, she did as he had wanted. Then he started off, leaving Jaken to rid himself of his prickly friends and Ah-Un to snort in laughter at the toad’s uncomfortable predicament.

No doubt his retainer was in no way lacking entertainment.




Thoughts - I'm really starting to hate this story...it isn't (in my eyes) truely going anywhere...that or I spolied myself to much on "Vampires Love" which is doing unbelievably awesome! Thank you to anyone who has checked it out. I don't think I will delete this story...but I do think that it only deserves a few more chapters. I don't know...the writing in it is crappy compared to my other three and oh...sigh...one review in two weeks. Something is wrong there.
alakeshadow