Consequences

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi.
Warning: Mega Angst.
Thanks to anyone who reviewed. And for the ratings.
And a big thanks to my beta Serenity.

- - - - -

It had been a few days since Kagome had come back.

Inuyasha and Miroku had grown mushy once Kagome had given them her blessing.

They could be seen sitting together, walking and holding hands, sharing long, breath taking kisses in the outskirts of the village. And every night as they gathered to Kaede’s hut for supper Miroku sat, his back to the wall, while Inuyasha leaned on him sitting between his legs. They would eat from the same bowl, mostly Miroku feeding Inuyasha. It was rather silly, truth be told. But they loved every second of it.

Inuyasha’s nausea hadn’t settled down. Kaede explained that he would probably be rid of it after some time. He had begun to get more tired, he had been so earlier, but it was now more pronounced. It was because his human body, though still slightly different than a normal one, was really not suited for bearing children. So it put an enormous strain on his body. His moods had also begun to change radically

* * * *

One Day after breakfast Inuyasha kept Kagome company as she cleared away the remains of their food and the cups and bowls.

“Aren't you frightened?”

“Huh?”

Inuyasha was stirred out his thoughts by her worried tone. He looked over to her, she had been gathering the cups and wooden bowls in a pile but had now set them down from her hands.

“Are you scared?”

“Of what?”

“Well, you are pregnant.”

“I.. I haven't thought of it that way..”

And he hadn't. Suddenly all kinds of horrific scenarios started to form in his head. They were clearly reflected by his expressions as Kagome knelt next to him and laid a reassuring hand over his.

“I'm sure everything will be fine..Sorry to have spooked you.”

“But..”

“Shh.. Calm down..”

“But..”

And the emotions took over and he started sobbing, which turned into wailing. Kagome tried to comfort him the best she could. She hugged him close, his tears soaking her shirt. She patted his back and slowly his tears started to ebb.

“Sorry..”

“Don't apologize.”

“I'm so emotional all the time... Annoying.”

“I understand. I know.”

She professed to know, but all she had ever read about had concerned women being pregnant and giving birth, not men. And definitely not half demons who were human!

At that moment Miroku stepped in to check on his love, only to find him drying his tears on a handkerchief Kagome had given him. He immediately rushed to him.

“What's wrong? The baby?”

“I'm fine, the baby's fine. I just got a little emotional is all.”

Miroku's hand lovingly patted the tiny bump that would soon start to really show. It was a bittersweet feeling, the love he felt for his child. Surely he would still be there when the child was born, his father's Kazaana had started to act up months before he was completely devoured, so he still had time. But for how long? He might never see his child grow up.

But the child was his hope. Loathing to burden an innocent with such a curse he still would not have chosen otherwise. For the child would ease Inuyasha's sorrow at his inevitable passing. As it was, Miroku didn't seriously believe that they would be able defeat Naraku in his lifetime. There were times, dark moments when he gave into the despair. But Inuyasha had become the light that pulled him out. And for that their child was his gift to the hanyo. The light that would draw him out the darkness he would leave behind.

Miroku and Inuyasha left the hut for a walk in the sunshine.

* * * *

He was now two months pregnant and the group had stayed in the village for little over two weeks. Inuyasha had begun to be violently ill come each morning. His friends could clearly see the worry in Kaede's face.

But Inuyasha professed to be in excellent health. He was still to give in to his 'maternal instincts' that would have surely told him he was not okay. And so, a few days into of the ninth week into his pregnancy, he was halted by Kaede as he was exciting her hut to go for a little walk.

“I need to speak with ye, Inuyasha.”

The hanyo wondered why the old miko wanted to speak with him, but still followed her into her hut. They sat down and she offered him tea.

”This is a serious matter, Inuyasha.”

Inuyasha looked at the old woman, the cup starting to shake in his hands. Even he had begun to take in his ill health during the last few days. And even if he wasn't concerned about himself, he was fiercely protective over his baby. Something was wrong. Had to be, by her grave expression.

”I have tought about your condition. I've discussed with Sango over what she knows of demon lore and I now I'm certain of the reason why you are still human. Indeed it seems and is possible for male hanyous to conceive. And as hanyous have two entities in them, human and demon, the body makes a choice. The child will be what you were when it is conceived. Do you understand?”

”Umm..”

”The child must have been conceived on the night of the full moon, when you were human. So the child will be human. But I think it will have some of your demonic blood, also.”

”Human?.”

”Yes..” She spoke gently, knowing the importance of this to Inuyasha. His child wouldn't have to endure the same hardships he had faced growing up as a hanyo. She also felt that she should impart some advice to spare him hardship.

But she still had things to say, important things.
”Inuyasha, child. This pregancy is putting your body under enoumous stress because your body, this human body, though able to conceive really was not meant for this. Your nausea, it isn't normal. And don't think I haven't noticed your trouble sleeping or how tired you look.”

”And?”

”You are already weakened.. And I must warn ye, having this child might burn up your body and you will die as the result, or it will give up during it and you'll miscarry.”

The cup dropped from numb hands as he stared at her. How could she give him that one glimmer of hope, that gift his child had gotten and then tell him it might never be? That he and Miroku would be robbed of their chance to ever know their child or that Miroku might end up losing them both?

”No...”

”I am sorry Inuyasha, I could not hvae withheld this from you. Not even to spare you. You had to know.”

”No..”

Inuyasha curled down into himself. It was then that Kaede realized that she should have had Miroku there, too. But he wasn't in the village and this could not have waited any longer.

Two days ago Kagome had sensed a Shikon shard passing by, it had been on the edges of how far she could sense them. The others had left after it wiht , for it was close. Inuyasha had grudgingly stayed behind.

The morning sickness still hadn't settled and he had begun to faint. It all had to do with his body not receiving enough nourishment. Mostly it was because of the nausea and because of the strain his human body was under.

And now this.

For the fleeting moment before Kaede had literally veiled all his happiness with a thick veil Inuyasha rejoiced in the knowledge that their child would not have to know the hate for belonging only partly to two completely different worlds.

And now he might not even have the child.

Violent sobs raked the hanyo's lithe, slightly emaciated form as he lay on his side on the floor. Kaede could do nothing but stroke his back soothingly, answering him over and over that it was true. That there was a possibility that he would lose the child. Finally he drifted into a fitful sleep.

* * * *
When the others didn't return after the promised three to four days, Inuyasha's health began to deterriorate.

He burst into tears during breakfast, if he was able to even stomach any. He had trouble sleeping and was exhausted as a result. Kaede began to fear he would wither away if Miroku not return to his lovers side soon. And there was the ever imbending risk of the hanyo miscarrying. His body would not take his current health for much longer.

* * * *

Finally the others retuned having been away for nigh three weeks. They found matters very changed.

Kaede had finally had to restrict Inuyasha into her hut for he was weak from worry and the stress it caused. His body was on the verge of giving up. It would not sustain the child much longer, for as a last resolt, it would get rid of the thing that so weakened it and used it's strenght.
Inuyasha was not able to stand up anymore without feeling faint. And so he had lain in Kaede's hut for the last two weeks. Crying and praying for the others to return. Crying for fear of losing his child. He felt terribly weakened. Helpless.

Hearing the state of things from the old miko upon entering the village, Miroku rushed swiftly to his lover's side. Kagome and Sango changed worried looks, Kagome had tears in her eyes.

”Inuyasha..” He kneeled next to the slumbering hanyo, laying his hand on his sweaty brow. He bent down to kiss it, his hand fleetingly sneaking to pat the tiny swell of his lover's stomach. ”Inuyasha..”

Tired brown eyes opened and focused on him. A unsteady hand rose from the covers to caress the monk's cheek. Then it slid down, as if the effort had drained all force from the limb.

”Miroku..”

”Kaede told me that your health..”

”Yes, I know.. My health is in shreds..”

The hanyo's eyes watered as he looked into his anxious lover's eyes. He had to tell him. And he knew how much it would hurt.

”The child might die..”

”What?!” Miroku met his eyes, frantic.

”Kaede said that my body is burning all of it's energy and I might either end up losing the baby, or.. Or I might die..”

”No.. Not you, I can't lose you.. The baby...” Miroku scooped Inuyasha up to gradle him in his arms. He was shocked of how lithe the hanyo felt. He realized that the pregnancy was slowly draining all strenght away from his lover. He cursed for ever having left. He tilted his lovers head and gave him a loving kiss, trying to be strong, trying so hard not to break down. He would have given anything to be the strenght his lover needed in his body.

There was a rap to the doorframe. The door still stood ajar from when Miroku had rushed in. The monk looked up, tears shining in his eyes, supporting Inuyasha's upper body against his chest. Kaede walked in, Kagome and Sango following her. Shippo had apparently been left outside along with Kirara.

Kagome gasped in seeing her dear friend in such ill health. His eyes were sunken, his face pale. And he looked so frail. Sango wrapped a comforting hand around her shoulders. She too was shaken by the hanyo's appearance. He was not well.

”Inuyasha..” Kaede spoke softly, making him move his head wearily towards her voice, resting it on Miroku's chest.

”Inuyasha, they brought back three shards. Remember what we talked about earlier? Will you do it?”

”Yes..” His voice was a whisper, a shadow of his usual brash way of speaking.

”Will he do what?” Miroku asked, not quite grasping what had passed between the two.

”I believe that embedding a Shikon shard into his body will help it cope with the strain, lending him the strentght he desperately needs.”

Kagome approached the pair. Inuyasha's bedding was near the fireplace. It was already fall and he needed the warmth of the fire desperately. While she walked she fished out a tiny pouch from her pocket, a pouch which held the Shikon shards.

”Will it be okay?” She asked to no-one in particular. The old miko had hastily explained when they had followed Miroku to the hut, how Inuyasha needed a shard just to keep him alive.

Miroku nodded, kissing the top of Inuyasha's head, he would not lose him! He needed the hanyo to anchor him. And their child.. He did not even want to think about it. He already loved the unborn baby so much.

Kaede sat down next to the two men. She started to undo Inuyasha's kimono. Miroku glanced at her.

”It has to go into his belly.”

Sango had put her hiraikotsu against the wall and had also appeared by the pair, standing right next to Kagome. When Inuyasha's stomach, where the tiny swell was now evident, enhanched by his out-sticking ribs and starved appearance.

”Place it here.” Kaede insructed Kagome. She reached closer, kneeling on the floor and pressed the shard against the pale skin of Inuyasha's abdomen. It sunk in easily, glowing through the skin.

”What now?” Miroku asked, tucking down Inuyasha's undershirt and binding the kimono shirt over it. He lowered his exhausted lover back to the bedding, covering his with a blanket.

”There is nothing to do but wait. The shard will lend it's power and he's should get better soon. And I see that he is already getting some of that deep sleep he so needs.”

Miroku turned to look at his lover. And Inuyasha was indeed sleeping. His breathing steady. The monk leaned down and gave him a fearher-light kiss so as not to stir him. For moments he wathced the steady fall and rise of his lovers chest. Then he folllowed Kaede out of the hut, letting his lover sleep in peace.

He walked into the middle of the discussion the old woman was having with the two younger ones.”I felt another shard after we had gotten the first we went after and we decided to go for it. That was why we came back later than we'd promised.”, he heard Kagome explain.

”And the other had two shards so it was worth it.”, Sango continued. ”Or so we thought.”

”How did Inuyasha get so bad?”, Kagome asked, choking back the tears. Kaede turned to Miroku at this, it was his descision whether or not to tell. He inhaled steadyingly and nodded.

”The pregnancy has been stealing what strenght he has”, she started,” and his human body isn't able to handle being pregnant. His nausea has been very bad, he can't sleep well and there has been added stress by your, especially by your,” she nodded at Miroku, ”absence.”

”It all went downhill when I told him of the possibility of miscarriadge.”

Kagome gasped softly. Kaede had not had much time to explain earlier and what she had, had not quite sunk in to the young miko.

”Is there any danger now?” She asked.

”There should not be. The Shikon shard will lend him the stenght needed.”

Miroku noticed how Kaede had omitted the fact that Inuyasha could have also died. But he was actually glad that she hadn't. He was surprised when Kagome hugged him comfortingly, she had never done it. Nor had Sango, who gave him a hug right after. He was warmed by their friendship.

”He's sleeping, so you might want to go and see him later.” He informed them. But he himself returned inside the hut.

Sliding under the blanket, he wrapped an arm protectively around Inuyasha. And for hours before sleep took him too he just watched how his lover slept.