In His Arms

All previous disclaimers apply.


“You are to be his most favored concubine, Kagome. You are now a courtesan.”

The words ran through Kagome’s mind again and again as she sat patiently on the floor and waited as the servant whose name she had never even gotten pulled and twisted her hair up in an elaborate style befitting her new position. For the past week and a half Kagome had been allowed to simply rest and regain her strength. But, now that she was almost as well as she had been before being brought to Sesshomaru’s castle city on the verge of death it was time that she learn what was to be expected of her new position. Miyuki had often sat with her during her healing time and spoken to her quietly, informing her as to the way things worked in Nishi. She was a courtesan to a taiyokai, which meant she was more like a geisha than anything else. She would be expected to know how to entertain the Sesshomaru’s guests, how to make appropriate conversation with them without disgracing her lord. And when he wanted her, she was to be his lover. She would be the only one seen at his side by the other lords until such a day as he married. Then, she would disappear, one of the many concubines he kept to appease himself when he felt the need.

Kagome felt sick to her stomach and made a low moan. Though she hadn’t even heard her enter, Miyuki placed a deep bowl, almost a bucket, at Kagome’s knees and made soothing noises as the young woman emptied her stomach into it. Kagome did not even see the servant who took it away as she allowed Miyuki to set a cup of water to her lips and rinsed, spitting into another bowl. She did this until she could no longer taste the bile and opened her mouth obediently for Miyuki to set mint leaves in for her to chew.

Miyuki rubbed the girl’s back and nodded at the hairdresser to continue. She was worried about the young miko who had taken what had to be shocking news to her with grace and acceptance. Kagome had not been eating or sleeping very well at all and what little she did manage to eat only came back up when she thought about her new position here. Miyuki wanted to hold her close and comfort her, to tell her that everything would be all right. She had come to like the girl very much, catching a glimpse of fiery spirit every once in a great while as they spoke quietly. Her eyes would blaze before deadening again as Miyuki explained that without Sesshomaru’s permission she was not to look another man in the eye. Her eyes could brighten when Miyuki laid next to her when she was supposed to be napping and whispered stories to her about Paru as if they were two old friends. But, in between such times she was so dead to the world and everything that happened in it. She had regained enough strength to move on her own, but she was too thin, there were hollows in her cheeks that should not have been there. There were shadows in her eyes that Miyuki could not find the source of. She had accepted her position with grace and dignity befitting a queen. What could possibly make her mourn so?

“Kagome,” Miyuki had whispered just the night before as the Miko had been kept awake by restlessness, “You are a very powerful miko, I can feel the power in you. Why have you not just purified us all and walked out of the city?”

“I can’t,” the miko had revealed, turning her face away, though not in time that Miyuki hadn’t seen the tears in her eyes, “Not that I haven’t thought about it, but I can’t. I would be killing so many innocents and I . . . I cannot draw upon the power in my body any longer.”

“What do you mean?”

“I feel it there all the time, like a glow, but I can no longer pull it to the surface to use.”

“Why not?”

“I am no longer pure.”

“Miyuki,” Kagome’s voice brought the general out of her memories, “What am I doing today?”

“You are to meet the other concubines today. They will teach you the proper conduct, how to dance, proper conversation. You will have much to learn, Kagome. But, I have faith that you will be ready when Lord Sesshomaru returns and that he will be very pleased with you.”

“Yes. Pleased. I do hope I please him. Will it please him to see me broken?” Kagome’s voice was full of bitterness.

Miyuki put her arms around the Miko, who stiffened, then relaxed into the embrace, “You are not broken, Kagome. Your spirit can never be broken.”

“I am broken, Miyuki,” Kagome murmured, glad to have one source of friendship in this alien world. She felt no need to lie to Miyuki. The general had surprised her with the warm and caring attitude she had taken when speaking with her. Kagome had not been surprised to learn that the rank of general that she held was an honorary one, “I can’t seem to find my spirit. It was lost with my child.”

“Child?” Miyuki whispered.

“My beautiful Shippou. My adopted son.”

“You will find your spirit again, Kagome. I guarantee it. Come now. We must get you dressed. You must begin your training.”

“Of course.”

Kagome allowed herself to be dressed in the elaborate kimono and followed Miyuki to what she had begun to refer to in her mind, though she had not yet seen it, as the harem. She was surprised when Miyuki slid the door open to a beautiful gardened courtyard where everything smelled sweet and the sun was bright and cheery. Someone had been playing music, but stopped when the door was opened. Kagome looked up to see seven women gazing at her with open expressions of curiosity and one with open aggression. They were all inu-yokai, beautiful in their own ways. All sat straight and tall, none of them looked ashamed to be who they were. They were concubines to a great taiyokai. There was honor in such a position, and stability.

“Ladies,” Miyuki smiled.

“Good afternoon, Miyuki.”

“Hello, Miyuki, what have you brought us?”

“She’s a pretty little thing, isn’t she?”

“Just lovely.”

“Look at those eyes.”

“Of course, Lord Sesshomaru only picks the best, doesn’t he?”

“Well, of course, look at all of us!”

“She’s human and reeks of it,” the female who had been staring at her with such hostility growled suddenly amidst the giggles of the other seven and sneered at Kagome’s passive face, “We’ll see how long she’s able to keep his attention.” She swept past Kagome quickly, not even bothering to look at her.

“Oh,” one of the other women rushed over to Kagome and took her arm gently, “Please do not let Leiko upset you, little sister. She was considered our lord’s most favored though he had not labeled her as such until you came along. And she has always been sour anyway. The only time she puts on a pleasant face is with the lord. Do not let her upset you. Miyuki, we can handle her from here. You’ll find the rest of us are much sweeter in personality. My name is Etsu and I have decided that we will be fast friends. Your name is Kagome, yes?”

“Yes,” Kagome was surprised enough into shock that she put up no fuss as Etsu led her into the courtyard and Miyuki slid the door closed behind them.

“Look at the little sister our lord has brought to us,” Etsu announced to the others. They all smiled at Kagome as they stood and gathered around her, touching her hair, her face, exclaiming over her eyes.

“Do not look so afraid , child,” another smiled gently at her, “Ladies, give her some space. My name is Hoshiko. I will be teaching you how to play. Etsu you have met. She will be teaching you conversation. The twins are Akina and Cho. They will teach you to dance. Hiroko will teach you how to paint. Aiko will teach you many songs that please the lord to have sung to him. And Kaida will be teaching you about the art of making love and what the lord will expect of you when you are together in the dark. Are you quite all right, little sister?”

Hoshiko had noticed that Kagome had set a hand to her forehead and was rocking on her heels.

“Oh, little sister,” Etsu rushed to her side and took her arm again, “Come sit down. Shame on us. All of this must be so new to you. So much to take in at one time. But, I promise you, little sister, you will learn in no time.”

“I . . .” Kagome sat on the cushion Etsu had led her to and burst into tears. The women fluttered about, one wetting a cloth to set to the back of her neck, one fetching her something cool to drink, one rubbing her wrists sympathetically.

“Little sister,” Kagome looked up at the low, smoky voice she had not yet heard and realized it was Kaida, the one to teach her about the act of making love, “I know that you were brought here against your will. Miyuki has told us all as much and that right now this might seem as if it is the end of your world as you know it. I thought so too, when I was brought to Nishi as tribute from my village to the lord. But, this is a good life. We are treated well here, we never go hungry, the lord gives us beautiful clothes and jewels when we please him. Lord Sesshomaru is a gentle lover, little sister, and a generous one. He will not hurt you. You are to be his favored. He has already told us as much. He is a good man. I think that when he returns you will learn to appreciate him just as we have.”

“I do not envy you your position as the favored, little sister,” Aiko murmured as she stroked Kagome’s neck to soothe her, “For, unlike the rest of us you will not be allowed to take your own lovers when the lord has not requested your presence, but you will have the best rooms, and servants of your own, and you will accompany the lord to court. It will be a good life, little sister. The best you may have been able to expect. I must admit I was surprised greatly when the lord told us he was taking a miko as his favored, but I saw his eyes, little sister. He will be good to you.”

“Now that I have seen you, I think I understand.” One of the twins giggled.

“These eyes,” the other giggled identically, “And these things across your nose, as if the sun has kissed you and left a tiny shadow. What are they?”

“Freckles.” Kagome smiled just a little, beginning to feel more comfortable among the inuyokai concubines who were trying so hard to comfort her and make her smile.

“And is this the only place you have them?”

“A few on my shoulders from spending too much time in the sun scantily clad as a child,” she admitted.

“The lord will love them.”

“But, sisters,” she was amazed at how easily the term of affection came to her mouth, “How can I accept a life that is not my own?” Kagome whispered, “As so many of you have?”

“You learn to change what you want out of life, little sister. You make this new life your own.”

“Kagome-lady!” Kagome’s eyes darted up at the happy voice that called out to her. The others smiled at Miyuki’s quick thinking when they saw the joy that spread across their new sister’s face to see the child running across the courtyard to them. Hiroko had known what it was like to lose a child, though it had been many years before and she had since healed, but she had seen the sentiment echoed on Kagome’s face. She prayed with all her might that her new little sister would be able to exchange this little one for the child she had lost in her heart, because if she didn’t find some happiness soon she was going to wither, as Hiroko had almost done. Lord Sesshomaru had given her a reason to live by allowing her to seek her own lover within his ranks. Though he never told anyone and neither did she, he never came to her room anymore. The lover she had found was the love of her life and Sesshomaru had never interfered with that. She had seen the look in his eyes Aiko had mentioned and prayed that the man she had come to respect more than any other had finally met his true soul match in this miko who made his eyes dance. She laughed along with the others as Little Mistress Rin ran right into Kagome’s open arms and snuggled into them.

“Hello, Rin,” Kagome whispered in her unruly hair.

“Will you be here for a very long time, Kagome-lady?”

“Yes, Rin,” there was only a shade of resentment in her voice, “A very long time.”

“Right,” Etsu smiled, “Mistress Rin, run along now. Or stay and watch. But, Kagome must begin her lessons if we are to have her prepared for Lord Sesshomaru’s arrival. Shall we begin, little sister?”

Kagome looked up, “Let’s.”