Lessons

Chapter 4

A/N: Yes, yes, I know its been a while but, I had a lot going on.

I looked at Miroku, guilt written all over my face. What was I supposed to do? How could I tell him that I was the lech? I winced in pain as I sat up against the wall. I could feel his deep, blue eyes on me, he gave me a look of concern as he gently placed his arm around me.
“Sango, look at me.” He whispered. “You know you can tell me anything....I love you.”

I never felt so horrible in my life. No sense in crying now, I wasn’t when I slept with all those women behind his back. I swallowed hard, took a long breath and looked at him.
“Miroku, I.....you know, I sat here, thinking of all the lies I could tell you....again. The time has come for you to know the truth”

He looked so confused, as if he was trying to read my thoughts but couldn’t. A warm smile slid across his face, like he was telling me to continue when all I wanted was to stare at him....that smile for hours, not saying a word.
“Yamiko, she......when I was- before I met you all, when father was training me to be a slayer, I met her.”

“Hai....I see but Sango, I have yet to understand what-“

“Ssh, Miroku.....just let me explain it all....I don’t think I’ll be able to go through with this if you keep interrupting me.” I squeezed his hand.

“Gomen, I understand.” He assured me.

I sighed once more before starting my story. “She was not a slayer like father, Kohaku and I.....she made our armor, the garments. I can remember the first time I saw her.......my whole world was turned upside down. Yamiko.....she was so, so beautiful.” I felt Miroku’s hand stiffen. It scared me so I tightened my grip, deep down, he must have known where this was going.

“Its fine.....continue.” His was calm. I felt him relax.

“Her skin tone was this rich, olive tone. Her hair was long, thick waves in every strand, it was the color of the darkest night, I never set eyes on hair so black. Her eyes....breath taking, light brown, almond shaped.” I had to pause for a few seconds, my eyes shifted towards Miroku....he sat there, listening to my every word. “Father told me that her father was from a far off land........Kagome calls this land ‘Africa’. He was supposed to come back for Yamiko and her mother but he was killed. .”

“Hai...so, she was from a blended culture.”

“Hai. My father told me and Kohaku not to bring it up......the other villagers did that enough with their gossip. We knew she was “different” .....that didn’t matter, not to me anyway.” I quickly took a sip of my tea. “ We became friends.....always together. She even watched me train. Gradually, we grew very close....some said we were too close and I didn’t quite understand until that night.....” My voice trailed off. I was nervous, not knowing what he would think of me.

“What happened?” He asked. “Tell me....everything will be alright.”

“Things got so weird, complicated. “ Tears began to fall from my eyes, I could no longer fight them.

“Sango......what is it?” He really was concerned......I wondered how long he’d feel this way for me, after I tell him everything.

“My family and I returned back to our village. We had been gone for weeks....some believed we had been killed by the youkai we sought out. It was very late, I had various injuries. Instead of having someone look at them........Yamiko, was all I thought of, I had to see her.......tell her she was on my mind the whole time we were away. I thought maybe, she could explain this feeling I had. “

“Sango.....you-you were in love with her.” His tone was neither judgmental nor angry. To be honest, he sounded kind of.....turned on.

“I tapped on her door. Thinking I was just being absurd, I walked away, only to have Yamiko swing open the door........I saw tears in her eyes. She thought I was dead. Before I could speak, she, she.......kissed me.” I seemed so distant after I said that.....as if it just happened, like I was in shock. My mind envisioned her lips on mine all over again.

I almost laughed at Miroku inching up closer to me, his indigo eyes shining.... I knew he was turned on. “So....were you afraid or did you go for it?”

“I...ah....I went for it. It was so strange, I felt no shame, no fear.....kissing her, being in her arms felt so right, natural. I can remember the fire she set within me, the feeling of her full lips all over my flesh.........the way my hands explored her exquisite form. I can even remember her taste, sweet.....addictive, like-“ I quickly snapped out of it, my body was over heated......I was wet, just thinking about my fallen lover.

“You stopped.” Miroku sounded disappointed.

“Hai, I just......it wasn’t all about the sex. I loved Yamiko with everything I had and didn’t give a shit who knew. People knew of us, they just wouldn’t speak of it but whenever we came around, they grew quiet......we found it funny.” I had to smile, remembering how happy we were. “ Never thought I would love someone so much at such a young age but I would’ve given my life for her.”

“Sango, if things were so wonderful between you two........I mean, what happened, where is this Yamiko woman?” Miorku’s question brought such pain. I didn’t want to relive her demise. My body started to shake, I was unable to control it. My eyes were full of tears .

“Dead.” I managed to get out.

“Oh, Sango.....gomen.” He tried to comfort me.

“We returned to our village one day.....there was carnage, death....so much destruction. My heart dropped to my stomach. All I could do was think of my Yamiko.......I searched for her, through torn down homes, I knew she was gone but I-I couldn’t face it. Finally, I found myself at this small pond, where we spent so much time and..........there she was, face down in the water, her jade kimono clinging to her lifeless body. Miroku.....my heart was, to this day, I cannot describe the pain I felt. I cried out to her as I pulled her from the water......held her to me, as if my warmth would bring her back to me.” I paused to wipe my face.....Miroku quickly embraced me, I almost forgot what I had to tell him.

“It was Naraku.....wasn’t it?” He whispered in my hear.

“Hai.....well, Kohaku did it but.....it was not the real him. I knew none of this when I woke up.
Naraku told me it was InuYasha and all I wanted was his blood.....his head, for Yamiko’s demise.” I cried, my tears soaked Miorku’s fabric. He slowly pulled away from me, wiping my tears with his hand.

“Sango, I know this hurts.....I could only imagine how you must have felt, how it still haunts your dreams but-“

“Miroku, stop........onegai, just stop.” I cut him off.

“But Sango, I know you’re hurting, just let me-“

“STOP IT! KAMI.....just- you’re making this harder!” I calmed myself. I didn’t mean to yell at him like that. “Miroku, I- Ever since she died, I haven’t......” I paused, reaching deep within to tell him the truth. “ I’ve been unfaithful to you.” There....I said it. His face was white, the poor, sweet, monk looked as if he’d seen a ghost.

“W-what?” He was in shock. I wasn’t sure if he was clear about what I just said. I placed his hand in mine praying he wouldn’t pull away.

“Miroku, I love you so much, I do......its just that- I couldn’t replace her. Somewhere, in my warped mind, my affairs with these women.......I thought-“ I cut my sentence off at the feel of his hand pull away. “Miroku, I-“ He jumped up.

“AFFAIRS......WOMEN?!” It was finally clear to him. His face was red with anger, betrayal......hurt. “ Just what the fuck is going on?”

His tone was dangerously calm, like he was going to snap at any minute. Never have I heard him use that word. I was so nervous, I stood up as best I could to face him.
“Miroku.......its not you, it was never you....onegai, understand that.......its me, all my fault.” My heart was pounding, I was so scared he would resent me.

“What kind of shit is that huh..........you don’t get to walk away from this with that line!” He spat out.

“Miroku....I, onegai, forgive me.....I just couldn’t stop and I missed Yamiko and I know it was wrong.........so, so wrong. You have done nothing but love me and I-“

“Who?” He asked. I continued to ramble on . “DAMMIT......WHO?!”

“Miroku......don’t do this.” I pleaded, my eyes had so many tears, I couldn’t see straight.
He gripped my arm with such force......such anger. “Your tears, they do not mean a damn thing to me. Now, you tell me who before I start asking around.” His voice was so cold, nasty.....I didn’t recognize him.


“Ayame.....Kagura.......Kikyo.....” He was sick to his stomach as I ran off various names. For the first time, I felt dirty.......ashamed of what I had done.

“KIKYO.....AYAME!” He yelled out. I wanted to tell him to lower his voice but I had no right. My head was hung in shame and guilt. “Gee, I wonder what InuYasha and Koga would have to say about this? And....did I hear you say Kagura?”

“Hai....but I didn’t want her, I swear to you.....Miroku, she forced herself on me and-“ I cut my sentence off. I felt his eyes burning a hole through me.

“And what, Sango? Spit it out!” He demanded.

“What difference does it make?” I wanted to tell him about Naraku, raping me....or tricking me, I decided not to......I’ll hold that one in.

“You’re right Sango....It makes none. You have betrayed us, me, InuYasha, Koga....but hell all you wanted was your own pleasure....to fill the void of some dead woman!”

“Miroku....it wasn’t like-“

“Don’t you fucking lie to me! After all this time, everyone thought I was the lecherous one....that I was the pervert and it was you.....you were the WHORE!”

My knees grew weak as I fell to the floor, tears streaming down my cheeks.......I was unable to defend myself against his harsh words, they destroyed me. By the time he was finished, I curled into a ball in the middle of the floor.......praying that death would take me to my father. Miroku looked through me as he spat out words of hatred......I know he was so hurt and would later feel horrible about half the things he said but still, his words stung .

“I can’t believe I ever loved you! So, tell me Sango, who was the next bitch you screwed?” He bent down to force me to look at him, yanking my head up by my hair. I just cried, my lips moved but nothing came out.

“Tell me, Sango......WHO ELSE?” His grip tightened on my hair. He jumped slightly at the sound of the door violently swinging open. His eyes met with InuYasha, his amber eyes shifted in anger at the sight of Miroku pulling my hair. “Hey monk....you better damn well explain to me what your problem is and make it quick.” He growled. Before Miroku could speak, Kagome ran in. Her chocolate eyes studied me, the tears in my eyes.....Miroku’s man handling me, she darted out at him, almost pushing him through the wall. She quickly sat down, gently placing my head in her lap. I felt her soft delicate hands wiping my tears........I looked at her, only to find her crying as well.

“What the hell did you do, monk?” InuYasha was pissed and all too clueless. Miroku watched Kagome and I......the way she fussed over me, the way we looked at each other.....it was all making sense to him. We both turned to him at the sound of his low laughter.......Miroku snapped, I did this to him.

“Well, well, well.........Now I know exactly who the other one is, all those trips back to her era.....hah, bet you didn’t think I knew about that.” Miroku laughed again.

“Miroku.....don’t, don’t screw her over to hurt me.” I pleaded with him. InuYasha was still on guard with him.

“What the hell are you two talkin’ about?” He growled. Miroku turned to face him.

“You mean, you don’t know what Sango and our precious little miko have been up to?” He laughed once more. InuYasha turned to face Kagome, unsure of the question. Kagome......her face grew pale at his confused gaze.


“Miroku.....onegai...don’t hurt her!” I pleaded. My voice fell on deaf ears.

“Sango has been fucking Kagome! Bet you couldn’t pick up that scent now....could you, InuYasha?” Miroku unleashed a twisted laughter as he left the hut, leaving us to face the angry hanyou. His eyes burned a hole through Kagome, the second she turned away from his golden gaze. With his silver hair covering his now, crimson eyes, he let out a low growl.

“So, Kagome.......is this true?”

A/N: Hah....did it again. I know it was short!........oh I do hope you like it:)