Summer Heat

Chapter 4 -- Decisions Made

She scooted away from him, bringing her knees up to her chest. She had finally heard the words she had so longed to hear and he was saying he wanted her but she couldn't. "I can't Inu Yasha...do you know what that would do to me?" she looked up at him. His golden eyes were full of confusion.
He started to speak but she held up her hand to stop him. "I wouldn't be satisfied with just one moment. As you're very dear friend I can live with you going away with Kikyou but if we...I would never be happy with anyone I find later. I don't think I will be truly happy with anyone other than you."
He hung his head again. "I owe her, it's because of me that she is the way she is now."
Anger suddenly surged within her. "You don't owe her. What happened to Kikyou happened because of the Jewel, not because of what you two felt about each other. You were both used, you both suffered. The same thing would have happened if she had fallen in love with anyone. Naraku would have used whoever she cared for. If she truly loved you do you think she would really want to drag you away to hell? If she truly loved you don't you think she would want for your happiness no matter what happened to her? I love you and if going with Kikyou is what will make you happy then I'm willing to stand aside. But," she said, her voice softening, "I will not do anything to make that hurt any more than it already does...if that's even possible."

Without a word Inu Yasha stood and moved to her window, putting his hands on either side, one foot on the sill. He cast one last longing glance at the girl he loved and leapt out the window. He heard her break into heart wrenching sobs and felt as if someone had plunged a dagger in his heart and were twisting it. He sprinted to the well house, leaping into the well. The familiar blue light eveloped him momentarily then was gone, his feet had only barely touched the bottom of the well before he was launching himself upward again. Finally he came to rest in the branches of the Goshinboku tree. Kagome's words replayed over and over in his mind. He wanted to be angry with her for saying that but he couldn't she was right, deep down he knew she was right. The acceptance he had felt with Kikyou was nothing compared to the feeling of being home when he was with Kagome. Just her scent was enough to make him feel invincible. Her smile sent shivers of delight through him. Her tears broke his very soul.
His thoughts were interrupted by a soft humming. It was Kaede, out collecting herbs, he could smell the cut plants. Inu Yasha landing on the ground lightly. Maybe the old miko could give him some adivce.
"Good morning Inu Yasha," Kaede said, without looking up as Inu Yasha approached. He plopped on the ground beside her, folding his arms across his chest. "Is there something wrong?"
"I made her cry," he said simply. He had taken to talking to Kikyou's sister, when the other's weren't around. He wouldn't admit it if asked but she always gave him sound advice.
Kaede made a sound that seemed to say, "And?"
Not looking at the miko, he said, "What do you think Kikyou would want?"
Kaede looked up now, narrowing her eye at him, "Do ye mean the sister I remember or the abomination she has become?"
"The real Kikyou."
"Well then, I believe she would want ye to be happy, with whomever would make ye the happiest."
She got no response from the hanyou, so she continued. "Inu Yasha, there is no way for my sister to be brought back the way she was without Kagome's death. If Kikyou could be made to see past the hatred and anger that clouds her judgement, I do not believe she would wish for you to give up your life."
The wind blew gently and a bird whistled merrily in the heavy silence that followed. "So I should forget about her?"
Kaede shook her head. "No, ye should not forget her. Ye should send her to her rest and do what would end the needless suffering of yourself and Kagome."
Another period of silence before the hanyou rose. "Thank you Kaede," he said, softly, not adding the usually "baba" to her name.
"You're welcome," she said returning to her herb collection.
After Inu Yasha left, Kaede looked up to see Kikyou, surrouned by her soul collectors. "Why did you say that Kaede?"
"Because, it is the truth, sister."
"Inu Yasha will come with me. His life is mine."
Kaede shook her head. "His life is his, and he has chosen to share it with Kagome."