Sex Ed
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InuYasha › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
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Currently Reading:
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Category:
InuYasha › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
1,914
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.
Herpegonosyphilaids (wow, what a mouthful...)
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Inuyasha characters, especially the ones featured in this story:
(By the way, this list is mostly for my own purposes)
Inuyasha
Kagome
Koga
Rin
Miroku
Sango
Kikyo
Sesshomaru
Shippo
Kagura
If there were any more of them in any of the former chapters, they failed/quit/got kicked out of the class.
Chapter 4: Herpegonosyphilaids (wow what a mouthful, no pun intended)
Harmony: Welcome back to Sex Ed class, Inuyasha characters. I am your now one and only teacher, Harmony Sunsinger.
Inuyasha: Do you even have a degree in education?
Harmony: No, but now I’m working on it. Besides, this is the Internet. I can make up my own degree.
Inuyasha: No you can’t-
(Harmony tackles him, ties him up and gags him. She brushes herself off and turns to face the rest of the class.)
Harmony: Any more questions?
(Miroku raises his hand)
Harmony: (sighs) I already told you that the lab comes at the very end of the course.
(Kagome, Kikyo, Rin, and Sango give Harmony a skeptical look)
Sango: Lab? What lab?
Harmony: (waves her hand at them absentmindedly) It’s on the syllabus.
(Girls huddle together to look at syllabus. They groan when they find the lab at the very end.)
Sango: No wonder the monk is looking forward to the lab so much.
Inuyasha: What is it? (peeks over Kagome’s shoulder at syllabus.) You have to be kidding me! There is no way that kind of lab can be legal!
Harmony: You’re right, in fact. It’s illegal in all 50 states of America, and in most parts of Canada, Europe, and Australia.
Kagome: (slaps herself on forehead) Oh, Kami, no. Don’t say it-
Harmony: But not in Japan!
(Inuyasha slaps himself on forehead)
Kikyo: Oh, this is turning out wonderfully.
Harmony: (claps her hands together) Calm down, everyone. Screw this hostility towards each other. Let’s just get this going. (turns off lights and turns on projector. Everyone sits down as Harmony begins lesson) This is a chart of STDs. Actually, now, I think they’re really referred to as ‘STI’s, but for this, we’re going to call them STDs.
Rin: Why?
Harmony: Because Word won’t accept STIs. But it’ll take STDs.
All: Oh…
Harmony: Anyway, STDs are extremely bad for you. Seriously. There are several different ones, such as herpes, which causes nasty sores on your, ahem, privates; syphilis, which causes tumors on your privates and, in later stages, insanity and death; gonorrhea, which also causes sores and this gross discharge stuff; and HIV/AIDS, which attacks your immune system. Most of the people who get HIV or AIDS don’t really die from the virus, but the virus enables something as small and harmless as the common cold or the flu to become their killer.
Inuyasha: Well, that sucks.
Koga: How do you get these, you say?
Harmony: By having sex with people who already have them. That’s how they are spread.
Miroku: NO!! My fair ladies of the night!! How could you betray me?! How could you?!
(Everyone looks at each other, then laughs)
Harmony: Of course, at least none of you have ever met… (looks around suspiciously) Loose Lucy!!
(Silence)
Harmony: Good. You’ve never heard of her.
Inuyasha: Who on Earth is Loose Lucy?
Harmony: A girl from my hometown. She’s a total slut; I mean, the chick has freakin’ herpegonosyphilaids, for cryin’ out loud.
(More silence)
Kagome: What’s herpegonosyphilaids? I’ve never heard of that one.
Harmony: It’s not a real STD. Basically, it just means that she has every STD known to man. I mean, the girl will BREATHE on you and you’ll have AIDS. If you touch her, you’ll be instantly seared from the raging buboes that come along with herpes and syphilis. It’s really awful.
Inuyasha: So, we use these condom thingies and we don’t get whatever that Loose Lucy has?
Harmony: (thinks for a minute) I don’t know about that one. I’m pretty sure she could penetrate latex. Maybe steel would work. It kept those people safe from the comet in “Night of the Comet.” But the condoms should seriously work on everyone else on the planet. You’ll be fine with someone like, say, me, or Rika, or-
Koga: What happened to Rika anyway?
Harmony: We don’t talk much anymore. I guess she’s too busy for me… or too good. I don’t know which anymore. (sighs) I miss her though. (perks up) Anyway, that’s the end of today’s lesson. Review, and I may just include one of you to be a new teacher with me. But here is the question you must answer correctly to be considered: What is the name of the song that plays during the credits of this latest season of Inuyasha?
Kikyo: That’s way too easy. All they have to do is tune in on Saturday or Tuesday to watch it and they’ll find out!
Harmony: Thanks for giving my readers a great new way to cheat!!
Inuyasha: Whoever answers correctly… PLEASE BE SOMEONE SANE!!
Next time on Sex Ed- Chapter 5: Mommy Mania
Group 1: Kikyo and Sesshomaru
Group 2: Rin and Koga
Group 3: Inuyasha and Kagome
Group 4: Sango and Miroku
Group 5: Kagura and Shippo
Thus begins our second lab. Our first was the thing with the condoms and the banana, the second is Mommy Mania, with the crying, lifelike baby dolls, and finally, the third lab – the dreaded PHYSICAL!! Then, the last… MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
(By the way, this list is mostly for my own purposes)
Inuyasha
Kagome
Koga
Rin
Miroku
Sango
Kikyo
Sesshomaru
Shippo
Kagura
If there were any more of them in any of the former chapters, they failed/quit/got kicked out of the class.
Chapter 4: Herpegonosyphilaids (wow what a mouthful, no pun intended)
Harmony: Welcome back to Sex Ed class, Inuyasha characters. I am your now one and only teacher, Harmony Sunsinger.
Inuyasha: Do you even have a degree in education?
Harmony: No, but now I’m working on it. Besides, this is the Internet. I can make up my own degree.
Inuyasha: No you can’t-
(Harmony tackles him, ties him up and gags him. She brushes herself off and turns to face the rest of the class.)
Harmony: Any more questions?
(Miroku raises his hand)
Harmony: (sighs) I already told you that the lab comes at the very end of the course.
(Kagome, Kikyo, Rin, and Sango give Harmony a skeptical look)
Sango: Lab? What lab?
Harmony: (waves her hand at them absentmindedly) It’s on the syllabus.
(Girls huddle together to look at syllabus. They groan when they find the lab at the very end.)
Sango: No wonder the monk is looking forward to the lab so much.
Inuyasha: What is it? (peeks over Kagome’s shoulder at syllabus.) You have to be kidding me! There is no way that kind of lab can be legal!
Harmony: You’re right, in fact. It’s illegal in all 50 states of America, and in most parts of Canada, Europe, and Australia.
Kagome: (slaps herself on forehead) Oh, Kami, no. Don’t say it-
Harmony: But not in Japan!
(Inuyasha slaps himself on forehead)
Kikyo: Oh, this is turning out wonderfully.
Harmony: (claps her hands together) Calm down, everyone. Screw this hostility towards each other. Let’s just get this going. (turns off lights and turns on projector. Everyone sits down as Harmony begins lesson) This is a chart of STDs. Actually, now, I think they’re really referred to as ‘STI’s, but for this, we’re going to call them STDs.
Rin: Why?
Harmony: Because Word won’t accept STIs. But it’ll take STDs.
All: Oh…
Harmony: Anyway, STDs are extremely bad for you. Seriously. There are several different ones, such as herpes, which causes nasty sores on your, ahem, privates; syphilis, which causes tumors on your privates and, in later stages, insanity and death; gonorrhea, which also causes sores and this gross discharge stuff; and HIV/AIDS, which attacks your immune system. Most of the people who get HIV or AIDS don’t really die from the virus, but the virus enables something as small and harmless as the common cold or the flu to become their killer.
Inuyasha: Well, that sucks.
Koga: How do you get these, you say?
Harmony: By having sex with people who already have them. That’s how they are spread.
Miroku: NO!! My fair ladies of the night!! How could you betray me?! How could you?!
(Everyone looks at each other, then laughs)
Harmony: Of course, at least none of you have ever met… (looks around suspiciously) Loose Lucy!!
(Silence)
Harmony: Good. You’ve never heard of her.
Inuyasha: Who on Earth is Loose Lucy?
Harmony: A girl from my hometown. She’s a total slut; I mean, the chick has freakin’ herpegonosyphilaids, for cryin’ out loud.
(More silence)
Kagome: What’s herpegonosyphilaids? I’ve never heard of that one.
Harmony: It’s not a real STD. Basically, it just means that she has every STD known to man. I mean, the girl will BREATHE on you and you’ll have AIDS. If you touch her, you’ll be instantly seared from the raging buboes that come along with herpes and syphilis. It’s really awful.
Inuyasha: So, we use these condom thingies and we don’t get whatever that Loose Lucy has?
Harmony: (thinks for a minute) I don’t know about that one. I’m pretty sure she could penetrate latex. Maybe steel would work. It kept those people safe from the comet in “Night of the Comet.” But the condoms should seriously work on everyone else on the planet. You’ll be fine with someone like, say, me, or Rika, or-
Koga: What happened to Rika anyway?
Harmony: We don’t talk much anymore. I guess she’s too busy for me… or too good. I don’t know which anymore. (sighs) I miss her though. (perks up) Anyway, that’s the end of today’s lesson. Review, and I may just include one of you to be a new teacher with me. But here is the question you must answer correctly to be considered: What is the name of the song that plays during the credits of this latest season of Inuyasha?
Kikyo: That’s way too easy. All they have to do is tune in on Saturday or Tuesday to watch it and they’ll find out!
Harmony: Thanks for giving my readers a great new way to cheat!!
Inuyasha: Whoever answers correctly… PLEASE BE SOMEONE SANE!!
Next time on Sex Ed- Chapter 5: Mommy Mania
Group 1: Kikyo and Sesshomaru
Group 2: Rin and Koga
Group 3: Inuyasha and Kagome
Group 4: Sango and Miroku
Group 5: Kagura and Shippo
Thus begins our second lab. Our first was the thing with the condoms and the banana, the second is Mommy Mania, with the crying, lifelike baby dolls, and finally, the third lab – the dreaded PHYSICAL!! Then, the last… MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!