What a Mess

Chapter Four

Let it Never be Said, the Romance is Dead


He’d never known such rage. His ability to keep his emotions in check shattered. Sesshomaru’s eyes bled to crimson, his entire body shook as he began to shift to his true form, canines elongating.

Perhaps fate took pity on the frazzled taiyoukai. The surge of his youki startled a doe from the bushes which she had been hiding in.

It calmed him instantly. He had a perfect way to save face.

Before the deer could leap away to safety, he slashed it mercilessly with his claws. It was dead before it hit the ground. The hot blood washing over his fingers made him sigh in contentment. Yes, he felt much better. But he wasn’t finished.

Hefting the carcass, he slung it with a little more force than necessary. His aim was the bitch putting her clothes back on as she looked over her shoulder laughing hysterically at his expense.

Let her laugh at this Sesshomaru now, he thought with a feral grin.

Triumph surged through him as he watched her eyes widen in shock. The deer carcass cleared the tops of the trees and came barreling straight for her.

“Too slow!” he said softly as she tried to dodge.

The carcass knocked the miko backwards, her arms pin-wheeling. She fell into the hot spring with a terrified shriek.

Sesshomaru felt his laughter bubble in his chest, but he choked it down. He walked into the clearing the only hint of his sheer joy was the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth. He stood at the lip of the hot spring waiting for her to surface.

The miko broke the water sputtering and coughing her face a brilliant red. She stood, her clothes sodden, her hair plastered to her face. She pointed a trembling finger at him. “You!” she said.

Sesshomaru arched a silver brow at her. “Indeed…me.”
He gestured to the ledge where the deer carcass lay bleeding all over the rocks. “I came to deliver the food I’d hunted for you and the child when I saw your little display, miko. Truly, I had no idea you were so enamored of this Sesshomaru. It must be very frustrating for you.”

It was hard not to laugh in her face as she trembled in fury. “You threw it at me!”

“Hn.”

“You mean…you’d been hunting…all this time?” She stopped trembling and the color drained from her face.

He graced her with a rare, sly grin. “Hn.”

“Oh,” she said, her voice so soft even he had a hard time hearing it.

“I assure you, your efforts to seduce this Sesshomaru are a waste of time. I command that you desist…unless of course you enjoy humiliating yourself, miko…if I can even call you that now. Truly, I thought a priestess would behave with more…decorum.”

The wench flinched as she said this. She opened her mouth to say something, then snapped her jaws shut with an audible click. When she looked up at him at last, her eyes were cold. “Thank you for hunting, Sesshomaru-sama.”

He turned his back on her and walked back to his palace. That bitch thought she was clever, did she? Well, he would show her. He would have her crawling on her hands and knees begging for him to take her.

Once he was in the comforting solitude of his modest bedchamber, he began to form a devious plan. A Plan to Make the Miko Miserable.


#

Kagome wanted to die. She doubted she’d ever been so humiliated in her life.

But she could’ve sworn he’d just been standing there watching her. Of course the arrogant jerk had no idea the amount of courage it had taken to actually do that in front of him.

Not that she’d admit it had really turned her on…nor would she admit that she’d been imagining him touching himself while watching her.

Burying her face in her hands, she despaired. But then she straightened.

“Hell no. I’m not beaten just yet!” she said raising her fist to the sky as though to challenge the gods themselves. “I’m Kagome! And I’m going to put that asshole in his place!” Her mind supplied her with a picture of just where it thought his place was…writhing under her in ecstasy. “Not like that!” she grumbled to herself.

Her first thoughts had been to torment Sesshomaru with her feminine wiles, but that hadn’t gone over well. She would need to be more subtle. Or better yet, she could make him jealous. But how?

Kagome occupied her thoughts with ways of torturing the arrogant taiyoukai as she skinned the deer. Once again she thought how great it was that she’d remembered her backpack.

“That prick,” she muttered. “Throwing the deer at me like that! At least InuYasha skinned stuff that he killed…well, most of the time. Would it hurt for him to be at least polite to me?” She paused. She hadn’t exactly been very polite to him either. But he didn’t deserve it! He was a pervert and a kidnapper.

But then…he was expecting her to be rude, expecting her to fight his every command. Kagome smiled deviously. Phase two of her plan to Make Sesshomaru Suffer would soon be in effect.

#

Kagome donned her shorts and tank top and tied back her hair. Squaring her shoulders, she prepared to face the enemy.

Rin held onto Ah Un’s reins, a puzzled look on her face.

“Do you have the blanket, Rin?” Kagome asked over her shoulder.

The girl nodded. “Yes, Kagome.”

“Spread it out on the floor. I’m going in.” Her voice was grim.

Rin hugged her leg fiercely. “Good luck, Kagome!”

Kagome tied a strip of cloth over her nose and mouth and walked into the Pit of Despair.

A few seconds later she ran screaming out into the great hall. “That is unholy!” she said, hand over her chest, her eyes watering from the smell. In her hands, she held a copper pot that had black sludge with a green fuzzy beard in it. With a shudder, Kagome dropped it on the blanket. She eyed it for a moment and wondered if she should use her purifying miko powers on it. “Ugh!” Twitching and gagging, Kagome went back into the kitchen.

Three hours later, she’d managed to remove every dish and pot. All of which she piled onto the blanket one at a time…well, what could be salvaged anyway. She figured if something had three different types of mold on it…or even worse…maggots, it was toast.

“Okay!” she chirped brightly. Kagome looked Ah or Un…she couldn’t tell the damn difference, square in the eye and put her hand on it’s head, giving the youkai an affectionate pat. “I’m going to tie this stuff to your reins, boy…er…girl? And you’re going to drag it to the hot spring so I can wash them.”

The beast snorted…soundly so much like a certain youkai with a stick up his ass that Kagome laughed.

“I’ll give you lots of treats and scratch your back,” she pleaded.

The youkai chuffed…which Kagome took as a yes.

She bundled up the mess and tied the edge of the blanket to Ah Un’s reins. The creature backed up slowly, dragging it across the floor.

Kagome turned to Rin. “Okay, honey. Now, I want you to follow Ah Un and make sure no dishes fall out on the way, all right?”

Rin nodded and skipped after the beast.

Kagome returned to the kitchen. The clay stove wasn’t that dirty, though she had to scrape the ashes out of the hole in the front. There were also dubious bones in there…she hoped they weren’t human, though she wouldn’t be surprised.

The fire pit beside the stove had to be cleaned out as well. There was a high wooden table…covered with kami knew what. All of it was moldy, and the surface of the table was still sticky with some dark maroon substance.

It was near dusk by the time she’d scrubbed and cleaned everything. Kagome was filthy and covered in muck, soot, and blood from skinning that damned deer was under her fingernails. And she still had to cook dinner.

She roasted the deer over the fire pit, and she and Rin ate it in silence. After dinner, Kagome sent the girl off to bed while she tried to clean up.

After the dishes were put away, she went to wipe off the table. I’ll just rest my head here for a moment, she thought blearily. Kagome promptly fell asleep with her head pillowed on her dirty arms.

#

Sesshomaru took his time bathing, making sure to oil his hair and get all the tangles out with his claws. He hadn’t had the time to primp for three years.

He chose not to dwell on the fact that he was making himself attractive for a human wench. Besides, it was only to frustrate her. Perhaps she would get so frustrated she would touch herself again. So, to his fevered mind, it was well worth the effort.

He also wouldn’t admit to himself that this was probably the most fun he’d had in…well…forever.

Dressed in black silk, with his haori open to his navel, he sniffed the air. The wench was in the kitchen…where she belonged. He thought of other positions she’d be suitable for, but quickly put those out of his mind. No, no. She mustn’t think she had any sort of sway over him. She would be the one begging, not him.

He growled in annoyance when he saw her sleeping at the table. Dark circles were under her eyes and she was absolutely filthy.

But at least his kitchen was clean. A small flicker of admiration lit his eyes. He wasn’t sure how she’d managed such a feat. He’d been fairly set on gutting the place.

He smirked. It didn’t matter that she was exhausted. He was going to wake her up.

#

“Miko,” she heard a soft male voice whisper.

Kagome made a muffled noise and turned her face away. She wouldn’t wake up for that. It usually meant someone needed something, and she was too tired to give a shit.

“Wench.” That certainly wasn’t cutting it either.

There was a long pause, and Kagome smiled. Good, peace at last.

“Kagome,” the voice was like velvet sliding over her skin. She didn’t even know her name could sound so sensual. Her eyes fluttered open.

Sesshomaru’s face was right in front of her. She eeped and sat up straight. “Don’t do that! You scared me!” she cried, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

When she looked at him again, she instantly wished she’d left the sleep in her eyes. His hair pooled around him like molten silver. His alabaster skin glowed against the black silk of his clothes. And damn him for leaving his haori opened so casually like that. She really didn’t want to look at his chiseled abs…or his very lickable pecs. Not lickable! Not not not! she told herself.

“What do you want?” she snapped.

“This Sesshomaru demands that you cook for him,” he said icily.

Kagome crossed her arms over her chest. “No. That wasn’t part of the deal. Cleaning only. I’m not your slave.”

He smirked and leaned towards her. He smelled really nice. Like sandalwood and other manly male things. Kagome decided to breathe through her mouth. “You will do as I say, wench.”

She was about to say that she would not, but she remembered her plan. Kagome smiled at him sweetly. “Of course I will,” she said, her voice dripping with honey. She leaned ever closer to him, until their noses almost touched. “I’ll do whatever you say, Sesshomaru-sama.” She kept her tone all breathy as she’d seen women in romance movies do. Though, the heroes in the movies responded by kissing the heroines…not growling and narrowing their eyes at them. Kagome wondered how Sesshomaru ever got laid with that crappy attitude of his. Then she looked at his chest. Oh…that,she thought with a small frown.

He wrinkled his nose at her. “Your smell is offensive. You should consider bathing.”

Instead of letting it get to her, Kagome stood and hooked her thumbs under the straps of her tank top. She gave them a little downward yank. “Would you like for me to bathe right now, Sesshomaru-sama?”

She expected him to be rude and nasty, but instead he stalked over to her and stood behind her. She could feel his hot breath on her neck. “What if I told you to undress, get on all fours, and be a good little bitch?”

Kagome was pretty sure all her blood rushed to her face and her groin. She felt dizzy. “I…I…I…well…you see…hmm…I’m not sure that…,” Kagome stammered, wringing her hands.

The tip of his nose brushed the soft skin under her ear, right by her hammering pulse. She gasped.

“You didn’t answer my question, bitch. Actually, don’t bother speaking. Your voice is hideous and grating. In fact, this Sesshomaru finds you wholly unappealing. Though, judging by how heavy your disgusting arousal hangs in the air…you would’ve been overjoyed to accommodate my request.” He sniffed, looking as though he’d smelled the Pit of Despair before she’d exorcised its demons.

She whirled to face him, her plans thrown out like moldy maggoty dishes. “You are a complete asshole!” she shrieked.

He narrowed his eyes, gold irises blazing. “You would dare speak to this Sesshomaru thus in his own home?”

Kagome nodded. “Yup. I hate you like poison. You make me sick.” She made a face to illustrate her point.

Sesshomaru tapped his sharp chin. “Hmm. I make you sick? Does this sickness include touching yourself and crying out for me to take you, wench?”

The heat in her face boiled to the tips of her ears. “Well, at least I didn’t tackle you and try to do you in the hallway! Pervert!”

“Watch your treacherous tongue, wench,” he growled. “Lest I find a better use for it.”

Kagome put her hands on her hips. “Ha! I’m sure you’re thinking all sorts of perverted things about my tongue, you dirty dog.” She knew she was going too far, but she was so mad she lost all concern for her well-being.

“I was thinking you could clean the oven out with your tongue, actually. Are you really that in love with me, miko? Truly the way you try to throw yourself at me is quite pathetic.” He smirked at her again. “This Sesshomaru is merciful. Perhaps if you begged I would consider lowering myself for a pity rut.”

“Pity…rut?” she repeated, mouth dropping open.

He totally did not say that.

Kagome laughed.

He couldn’t have said that, because she would have to kill him if he did.

Sesshomaru sighed, putting on an air of weariness. “That’s right, miko. Perhaps this Sesshomaru feels sorry for you. Sorry that you’re so unattractive, sorry that you are so uncultured, sorry that you couldn’t even keep the hanyou by your side.”

With all her might, Kagome drew back her arm and slapped him. Hard. Right across his perfect face.

The sound of the blow echoed in the kitchen. His face was slightly turned, but he glared down at her. There was murder in those golden depths. Kagome swallowed hard.

“Oh…crap,” she said.