Ame without sunshine

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha. So don't sue me. I'm broke enough as it is.

Warning: Language, slight perverseness and angst

BETA EXPLANATION! This chapter has not been beta'd because my regular one, Shaid is a bit busy at the moment and I have been working her way to hard. The beta'd version of this chapter will be posted hopefully sometime soon.

I only got two reviews for the last chapter I wrote but I thought it might be because I deleted my authors note so it looked like I still only had 3 chapters. BUT I DID POST A NEW ONE! please review guys you have no idea how much it makes my day ^^

Sorry this chapter took so long, but my computer died just as I was finishing this chapter. So I had to start again from scratch (after pouting about it for 3 days) The next chapters won't take so long. I swear!


Chapter 4: The bonds we create


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Kagome walked along the worn animal train, grunting softly as she tripped over a protruding root. Grimacing she coughed once and brought her hand up to her mouth stifling a yawn. Being woken up at the crack of dawn and yelled at, had not put her in a good mood. After the night she'd had you would have thought InuYasha would have shown some consideration and let her sleep in. But no he had been the same as always, except for the small kiss on the cheek she had recieved. That had almost gotten him a sit. It was nice that he was being affectionate, but he could have been a bit better about waking her up. That and she had been stunned completely, having nearly forgotten that they had progressed to a relationship.

Kagome really didn't know what to make of her new predicament with InuYasha. Part of her wanted to scream to the world that InuYasha was hers. Another darker part of wanted to crawl under the covers and pretend nothing had ever happened. That part felt she was in too deep. That she would get hurt. What worried on her constantly was whether or not she would even be able to stay in this era. If she couldn't stay she almost wanted to keep things the way they had been. If she got a taste she might yearn for it the rest of her life. It might break her down. Knowing it but never being able to have it again.

In fact one time last year she had tried to distance herself from the rest of the group. But it had turned out to have been much harder than she had anticipated. Her friends sensing her withdrawal had made every effort to perk and cheer her up. They hadn't known she had been doing it deliberately to save herself as well as their feelings. The more she tried to push them away the closer they got. The thought made her smile softly. She wouldn't have been able to stay away and keep herself emotionally blank anyway. That was for Kikyo. Not herself, she was far too open, she wore her heart on her sleeve. And she liked it that way. InuYasha had even commented during that state of repression that she seemed allot more like Kikyo. He had almost been suspicious. If Kagome were honest with herself she would acknowledge that those words were what really made her quit the brooding she had been doing.

Sighing she boosted shippo up onto her shoulders, as he snored softly. That was another problem. The little demon may have looked small and rather weightless but he was far from it. Carrying him for the last two hours had really worn her out. She had tried several times to put him down, but he simply refused to let go of her. Maybe she would have lost her temper with him, but for the sad worried look he gave her. It was just one more thing she didn't need to deal with.

The way Shippo had been acting recently was troubling. He had always been abit clingy. But this went out of poportions. It was like she was going to disappear if he ever let go. Something was bothering him. Something was making him think he would be abandoned again.

Kagome was brought out of her unhappy thoughts when she tripped over a protruding rock. She would have fallen flat on her face if it hadn’t been for InuYasha's sudden strong grip on her arm.

"Clumsy, Keep your eyes on the road we need to hurry, your all being so slow" and with those grumpy rude words he left to the front of the line. He really was too energetic for such an early time.

Even Miroku had grumbled about over enthusiastic dogs as he stumbled out of the cave earlier that morning. Everyone was dead on their feet. With the exception of InuYasha who was currently crouched on all fours, nose moving rapidly as he took in the scents of the trail. The sight couldn't even be comical this early in the morning. Even though they had been traveling for two hours the sun had barely risen.

Kagome sneezed again and shivers wracked her body. She could feel the oncoming’s of a cold, and worried over it. The morning dew and chill in the air was making her growing cold worse. She didn't want to be a burden to the group. She had to be well for this next encounter. The group relied on her purification arrows and her budding priestess powers. If she got sick they would send her home.

Over the last year the group had become more family like. None were willing to risk another’s life to win a battle. Though this notion was noble, it set them back in many different ways. It made it that much harder for them to kill Naraku, if they were unwilling to make sacrifices. They had formed the one thing that Naraku used against everyone. The one thing he excelled at taking away. A bond.

The group had unwittingly played right into the sadists hands. He was constantly using them against each other. Being friends had helped and cursed them. As Miroku had once pointed out. It had been one of the few times Kagome had ever seen the monk with that bitter knowing smile. So much like InuYasha's. It seemed that they all carried it. That bitter smile. A love forged from hurt.

When Kagome had first come to the feudal era she had been mostly happy and carefree. It had been five long years since her father had passed away at the hands of car burglars. She had had time to heal. Being with this group had brought out fresh wounds but at the same time healed others. It was joy and sadness all mixed together. Complications she never would have thought she would face, had been forced on her. At such a young age, such a tender age.

The sounds of birds chirping brought the young school girl out of her musings. She realized that they were now in Kouga's territory. The large mountain range rose up before them like a towering giant. At this point she was really wanting to turn around. Dealing with Kouga at the moment would be too much. Feeling the overwhelming guilt rise up within her she shut her eyes.

Kouga was a nice person. He was a times as arrogant and stubborn as InuYasha, but he had a good heart. He was genuine, and Kagome couldn't help but feel that she had been leading the wolf prince on. She had never outright told him that she was never going to be his mate and that she loved InuYasha. Telling Kouga that she and InuYasha were now together officially would devastate him. Of this she had no doubt. It didn't help that her half demon would rub it into the wolf's face, causing a fight that could be avoided. The group needed all the allies they could get. InuYasha was liable to ruin everything they had worked for, with a few simple harsh words. That and the growing grudging friendship they were starting to have. Maybe she should talk to him about it, so that they could make this as smooth as possible. She only hoped that InuYasha would listen.

It was rather Ironic really how at the same moment she had started forward to tell InuYasha not to be rude, she sensed Kouga's shards. Groaning she brought a hand up to her head and rubbed her temple. Maybe she could just act like nothing had changed. That way he would still be around to help with Naraku. She knew he would try to kill Naraku regardless of his feelings for her. But if he decided he wanted nothing to do with her anymore he would go after Naraku on his own. Without help. That would get him killed as well as make it near impossible for the group to succeed in killing the twisted half demon.

In Front of her InuYasha was snarling, saying something about smelly wolves going after things they shouldn't.

Kagome froze suddenly as she felt a subtle shift in InuYasha's youkai. Something menacing just underneath the surface. Like it was barely being contained. He had never had this type of reaction to Kouga before. And she could see that Tetsusaiga at his hip, though it was now pulsing rhythmically.

She looked to Miroku and saw that his back was stiff and he was eyeing InuYasha with worry. And something else she couldn't understand it was almost like understanding?

The whirlwind in the distance coming closer at a rapid pace. Briefly she thought about having them flee, but knew it would do no good now. InuYasha was too dangerous to command at a time like this. His demon was dominant and deadly, it would not take kindly to being pushed around. A small step in the wrong direction, one ill word could break the fragile control that InuYasha had over his inner youkai.

It was scary to know that she could do nothing for him. Hugging him had always seemed to stop the transformation before, but for some reason this time there was something warning her not to try that. Somehow she knew that if she approached him now the result would be devastating.

Shippo was stirring on her chest. She tried to soothe him back to sleep, by rubbing his back, but it was to no avail. He opened bleary eyes, his little nose twitching as he caught the different scents of the area. The young fox went eerily still in her arms as he caught sight of InuYasha. He was like that for a few moments, until he squeaked and buried his face in Kagome’s neck.

"What’s going on!" he cried in distress "Why is InuYasha like that?"

"I don't know Shippo but don't worry everything will be fine" she said more confidently than she felt. Trying to shush the young boy. Kagome didn't want to draw attention to herself. A part of her was screaming to take Shippo and hide. And resisting that temptation was proving difficult. Something was terribly wrong.

InuYasha turned around at the sound of their voices. They had been too loud. He gave an eerie smirk. His eyes were bleeding red, and you could see a faint line of purple on his cheeks. But it wasn't his appearance that was scaring Kagome. It was the look in his eyes. Like she was a piece of meat. It was a preditorial gaze, and she felt trapped under it.

"Bitch" he growled out in a husky voice, his feet shuffling forward bringing him closer to her. It looked like he was trying to fight his own movements. But he continued to approach at a steady pace anyway.

Faintly Kagome could hear he friends shouting at her to run and calling InuYasha's name. Sango had tried to go forward and help but Miroku was holding her back. The terrified look on their faces nearly got her back to rational thinking. But InuYasha had already grabbed her wrists, his claws longs and deadly as they pricked her skin. Then he did something completely unexpected.

InuYasha nuzzled Shippo's back, making a deep noise in his throat. Giving the little demon an almost tender look, that couldn't quite be pulled off in his youkai state. Kagome could see the little demons tail puffing up. Wait was that look something else? Hunger maybe? InuYasha didn't feel tenderness in his youkai state! What had she been thinking? Was he going to eat Shippo? A feeling of protectiveness welled up within her as she heard Shippo's noise of distress.

Yanking her arm out of InuYasha's grip she stumbled away a few steps. Not caring about the gashes on her forearm.

"InuYasha!" she warned and pleaded at the same time. Trying to snap him back to himself.

He merely let out a purring sound and reached out with lightning speed. Grabbing her around the waist. Hot puffs of breath fell onto her lips, and she shuddered, with both slight arousal and fear. As his lips descended down towards her own, she was confused as to why he was about to kiss her. Did he not want to kill her?

The moment InuYasha's lips touched her own, Kouga arrived and everything went to hell.

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Kouga knew he was different from most demons. For one thing he... well... he loved. It wasn’t all instinct for him. There were real emotions there as well. He had a soul. It was like that for all the higher up youkai. But most didn't want to acknowledge any type of connection with humans.
Emotions were a human trait. That was another reason Kouga was different. He didn't shun his emotions. Rather he welcomed them. It made life interesting. And love was such a nice feeling. Sadness, love, affection, these things were all so different. It made his heart flutter to know that he was able to feel.

Being a Youkai he did still loathe humans, but at some point in his life he had grown to respect them somewhat. After his first incident with a failed mating he had been overcome with sadness. Kouga knew that humans dealt with this emotion constantly, and he wondered why the lot of them didn't just curl up and die from the evil feeling. After that instead of eating humans himself he had only let his wolves partake of them. And that was rare. Until Kagome had come along.

Kagome. Just the thought of her name brought a smile to his lips. Her sweet white smile, rosy cheeks big grey eyes, small stature and round curves. That long silky brown baby soft hair. It made his heart ache with want for her. She was The first female he had ever fallen for to this degree. And she was Human! Granted she did have powers greater than other demons, but she was still one of those wretched mortals. A fact he now overlooked. Her purity and radiance was just too great to focus on a small thing such a humanity. That beautiful girl was the reason he had stopped human butchering all together, he couldn't do it in good conscious any more.

But for now she was untouchable. That damn dog demon had put a mark on her. That stupid Mutt that he was slowly gaining respect for. InuYasha.

The wolf prince liked to think that he was honest. If only in his mind. He knew that InuYasha was as strong if not stronger than himself. He liked to goad InuYasha because it was fun to get a rise out of the puppy, and maybe because he wanted the silver haired dog demon to hurt. If not in the same way he did. Unrequited love was the most painful thing he had ever felt. He knew that Kagome loved the half demon. But also thought that it was unrequited love, just like his own. That gave him hope that one day his raven haired beauty would realize that InuYasha couldn't give her what she needed and come seek him out.

It hurt to keep being shot down. Though he knew she tried to be gentle. So he ran away often before she could get the words out, like a coward. Kouga acted confident and sure. He was positive that even though she was a human, she'd be attracted to someone with power and pride. Someone who could dominate, control and love her.

Today Kouga had just come back from his daily hunt. After Kagome had come into the picture Eating humans was no longer an option so he had to find other means to feed his pack. So he had taken to getting meat from the local wildlife. At first it had been tedious and aggravating. Animals were much harder to catch than humans. But he would admit, that there was a certain thrill about the chase.

This hunt had granted him four large doe. It would be enough for him, his two subordinates, and a few wolves. The others would be on their own. Still he was pleased with his catch. Grinning arrogantly he paused at the entrance to his new cave. Surveying it happily. After the harpy incident it hadn't been safe to stay under the waterfall. There had been too many enemies after them. So they had settled for this moderately sized cave in one of the few areas with a stand of trees. The cave was hidden by large boulders stacked up naturally against a small hill. There was a small space just wide enough for a person to walk through before they came to the real entrance to the cave. A stream ran just down the hill, hiding their scent slightly. It was a good location and Kouga was rather proud of it.

Stilling just before entering the cave he realized something nagging at him. He frowned and sniffed the wind. A large smile grew on his face after a moment. On the wind there was a certain scent that he would know anywhere. Grin growing larger by the minute, he set down his kills and took off in the direction of his future mate.

Of course getting there had wiped the smirk clean off his face. The idiot dog had turned again, and was kissing his Kagome. The area reeked of fear. The smell clinging to all the companions in the group, except for InuYasha who in his current state seemed to revel in it. When would the dog turd learn to control his youkai? Was it truly that difficult? Was the dog demon so weak?

Snarling angrily, kouga planted a fist into InuYasha's jaw sending him flying, He got a brief look at Kagome's shocked expression, before he was also sent flying. Damn. He had forgotten about InuYasha’s increased speed and strength. Wincing he palmed his cheek, and glared at the demon standing in front of him.

"What the hell's the matter with you dog breath?" he snarled viciously. "Keep your dirty lips off my woman!"

“Why can’t you control your youkai!? Isn’t it a part of you? Haven’t you been battling it for years? Why haven’t you made any progress? Where’s your resolve damn you!?”

He half expected InuYasha to blush and yell that Kagome did not belong to anyone, as usual. To say that he could control his youkai and that it was none of Kouga’s damn business. Instead he was smirked at.

"Bitch is mine" he whispered huskily "mine now"

Kouga grit his teeth against the impulse to run away. His instincts were screaming at him to run away. Normally he didn't ignore them. He had lived hundreds of years relying on his instincts, it had saved him and his clan many times. But here and now he knew that if he left, InuYasha would destroy everything.

It was a little shocking how the dog was so calm and menacing. Something must have changed. Stiffening with the thought he tried to put it out of his mind and focus on the fight. He had a clear advantage. The wolf prince knew that InuYasha couldn't use his sword when he turned, and that he was not governed by logic anymore. Only the fierce need to kill. Bloodlust did indeed make an opponent scary and brutally strong. But their timing was nearly always off. The didn't have strategy, which was often their downfall.

Huffing he ran forward feigning a punch to InuYasha's temple. At the last second he dropped to the ground and stood on his hands, kicking upward, his feet connecting soundly with the hanyous jaw. His opponent flew into a nearby tree felling it. He was surprised when InuYasha got up, smiling disturbingly and wiping his mouth, smearing the blood along his chin.

The urge to run away was stronger than ever now, and Kouga's legs quivered with the effort to stay where he was. InuYasha had taken a step forward when he hissed, and dropped his precious sword. Curious the wolf demon looked down to see pink bubbling blisters pop up on the half demons hand. InuYasha's own sword had rejected him. For a moment he got a sick satisfaction out of that fact, until he was charged at.

He tried flipping over the charging menace but his arms were grabbed, and he was sent crashing into the dirt. The impact had him stunned for a few seconds before he regained the power to use his limbs. Muscles tightening he grabbed into the forearm that were still gripping him and flung InuYasha away. Getting to his feet, he saw that the puppy had landed on his feet.

"tch" he scoffed. It looked like this fight may take longer than he had intended.

Kouga was aware of Kagome screaming at them to stop as he once again leapt toward InuYasha. They met with a jarring impact. Both holding onto the others hands. InuYasha was trying to crane his neck forward and imbed those long fangs into Kouga's neck. This was the advantage he had been waiting for. InuYasha had clearly forgotten about his legs. Bringing his right knee forward Kouga used all the power in them he possessed and connected with InuYasha's abdomen. He cringed as InuYasha was sent back into another tree, but not without taking some of the skin off Kouga's hands. Releasing a bellow of rage he pounced on the fallen dog demon and sent him into unconsciousness with his fist.

Panting he rolled away from InuYasha and stood, brushing himself off. It had been a short fight but an intense one. The fear in him and holding back left him drained. But he was feeling satisfaction as well. He had saved Kagome, and now dog breath owed him. Someone was screaming and rushing past him startling him drastically. But then he heard Kagome crying out the dog demons name. He frowned it would figure that he would be ignored even though he had just saved her.

"KOUGA! how could you? How could you do something like this? What did he ever do to deserve this" Kagome asked turning to him from her crouched position over InuYasha's still form, with tears running down her cheeks.

"He kissed you!" he snarled, angry that she was behaving like InuYasha had done nothing to deserve this. Yes she was distraught, but had she really forgotten what the mutt had transformed into?

"Yes and he's entitled to! Because he's my boyfriend!"

With those words Kouga's world was shattered.

That word boyfriend. Kagome had told him about it before. It was something akin to being mates. Officially courting.

He knew Kagome would never say anything like that unless it was true. Kouga gaped at her.

"...What?"

Kagome was standing now, tears still falling as she screamed in his face, the young fox demon clinging to her front. "Yes we're together now! I can't believe you'd be so petty as to hurt InuYasha just because he kissed me! Your just like all the other demons I-"

Kouga slammed a fist into the tree Kagome was braced against. He felt the blood trickle down his knuckles as the bark splintered, and rained down in tiny pieces. He grew even more angry at the expression of fear and shock on her face. Did she think he was so docile? That he didn't feel just like the hanyou did? Did she really think she could get away with saying those terrible things to him? Yes that InuYasha had kissed her hurt, but it would not have provoked him to such measures. It would not have stopped at a kiss either. It would have gone on to a brutal rape and then probably the killing of everyone else. Kouga knew Kagome had been afraid and unwilling at the time too. He had smelled the stench of fear all over her. Her words stung.

"Is that all you have to say to me after I just saved you from being raped, and your friends killed?" he asked angrily. Kagome was silent, and looked down at her feet. Maybe she was starting to feel ashamed now.

Kouga dug claws into his palm to keep from harming her choosing to slam his foot into the ground so hard that a small crater was formed. She had obviously forgotten who he was. He was a wild wolf demon prince not some docile pet that could be spoken down to and scolded. She had forgotten that he could kill her easily.

"IS THAT ALL YOU FUCKING HAVE TO SAY TO ME!?"

He heard the other woman, the demon slayer, make a choked noise in the back of her throat while the houshi made a placating one. He was glad that they weren't interfering. His control was hanging by a thread, any type of interference and it would break. He knew his own limits even if most seemed to think of him as a brainless twit.

"I-I'm sorry Kouga... Thank you for saving... us" she finally said meekly, clutching the small kitsune to her breast.

He snorted, and turned around. It wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear, after all he had just risked his life to save her and those other wretched humans. And she had yelled at him for it. Said he was as bad as other demons. But at least she had said sorry, and he could tell that she had been sincere. He would be content with that for now. Sighing he trudged over to where the mutt had dropped his sword. He looked at it for a moment, trying to decide what to do, before shrugging. It wasn't his sword why should he be gentle with it? Grasping his own sword he swept it across the dirt toward Tetsusaiga, hitting it so that it flew towards it's master. He knew better than to touch it with his bare hands. After a few more swings it was finally resting by InuYasha's side.

Groaning internally at the humans who seemed too frozen to help him, he scowled and moved his rivals arm so that his hand rested gently against the swords hilt. Grunting he surveyed his work, hopefully this would ensure that the hanyou would be back to himself when he woke up. Kouga wasn't going to stick around and see. He knew that InuYasha's demon blood had surfaced because of him. He was worried about Kagome, but it would only make things worse if he stayed.

Biting his lip he put his sword back into it's sheath. Habit nearly made him turn around and grasp Kagomes hands, and declare his love for her. But he held himself back. He found he didn't want to touch her at the moment. He had been totally rejected. She obviously held no respect for him. The pain was still too fresh. It felt like he had been betrayed somehow.

Kouga had always told himself that even if Kagome loved InuYasha she would come around to him because he knew that she held at least some affection for him. The wolf prince had figured that the mutt would run back to that dead clay corpse. The stupid dog was always brooding after her unable to let go and see what was in front of him. He had also thought that even if she did reject him it would only sting. He was after all still a demon and even if he could feel emotions they weren't as strong as most humans. How wrong he was. It was as if someone had taken a knife and plunged it deep in his chest. Robbing him of breath. Kouga had fallen in love with Kagome. Hard.

Lifting his hands in a salute he was about to take off, and lick his wounds elsewhere, when the pervert mans voice came to him. Like a slap in the face.

"Kouga! will you still aid us in our quest to kill Naraku? Even if you have been rejected?"

The wolf prince snarled and turned to the monk.

"I was not aware that I was aiding you in the first place human! But I will cooperate with you should the need arise. I am not so petty that I would refuse to help Kagome even if she has chosen another. As of now though I go it alone." he said throwing Kagomes words back in her face.

Petty. That was one thing Kouga was not.

It broke his heart to say it, but it was the truth. He got small satisfaction when Kagome gasped and tears started afresh on her face. At this moment he would rather run far away and forget he ever met the lot of them. But he knew he couldn't do that. In the end he still had his clan to avenge. He could not abandon them because he had been spurned. Responsibility still clung to him.

Sighing again, he left, not even bothering to wave goodbye.

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HEH ^^ KOUGA!!! Yes he may seem OOC but I like to think that Kouga is a bit deeper than he appears. Kagome may also seem a bit OOC but you must remember that she is only 17, I think we were all stupid and inconsiderate when we were teenagers. She is not all knowing and is as prone to mistakes as the rest of us. This fic would be boring and predictable if everyone was perfect. I know there was no InuYasha's pov. Next chapter will be mostly in his pov. There will be abit of Kagome's at the beginning (maybe) but other than that it's all InuYasha.

I LIKE REVIEWS!!! This chapter partly took so long because I got so few of them. *pouts* I do much better when I get allot. It keeps me inspired! Hope you've enjoyed this fic so far! next chapter should be posted in one to two weeks! And maybe we'll find out what’s been bothering Shippo. *winks*

Chishio