Unrequited Love

AN: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I appreciate your support. In reply to LaChoy. I can tell from your response you have never met anyone like the personna that I am portraying Inuyasha as. You are fortunate in that respect. Not saying that they are bad people but for the most part they are very self centered and tend to hide their emotions to avoid heartbreak. As for the first two chapters being together, I would agree that they would make a good prologue if made into one. I started this as a one shot originally and made it into two chapters because as a reader myself, I don't really like chapters that are too long because my internet hangs on me. That doesn't happen to most but even though I'm on a fast connection (wireless) it still does sometimes and it get aggravating so I was thinking of my readers by making it into two. I hope that explains it better. Now on with the rest of the story.

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own any of the Inuyasha series or any of the song "Oh By The Way" written by “Hinder”.

Chapter 4

Inuyasha sat on the bed staring at the spot where she had been standing dumbfounded. He wasn’t sure what just happened. All he wanted to do was tell her the truth. He never said he loved her or anything so there wasn’t any commitment between them and he thought she understood that. This was bullshit. Angrily he climbed off the bed and walked stormed toward the guest room. He placed his hand on the knob ready to go in there and find out just what was wrong with her when he heard something similar to a sob. Cautiously he placed his ear close to the wooden door to listen. He could hear soft whimpers and sobs from the other side. The sound clawed at a part of him he didn’t even know existed.

in the winding down hours
I let your heart down again
(what did I do to make a scene so gory)
(I’m no better then the ones before me)

Her words ran through his mind as he fought against the anger that was building. Any woman would jump at the chance to be his bitch but she acted like it was a burden. She didn’t have a right to treat him like this. She should be thankful for all the things he did for her. Friend or no friend. He clutched the knob in his hand again ready to go in there and give her a piece of his mind but stopped when he heard her whimper his name softly. He suddenly realized what he was thinking and felt ashamed for it. That wasn’t Kagome at all. She wasn’t a selfish person. He was the selfish one.

old habits die hard
I always end up hating the end
(what did I do to make a scene so gory)
(I’m no better then the ones before me)

Another sob brought him from his heated thoughts as its sharp claws picked at the shield he built around his heart. A soft painful whimper broke his resolve making him feel weak. How many times had he done this before. Used a woman for what he could get then walk away like it was nothing. Kagome was the only one he ever felt like staying with for a while. She was more then just another lay, she was a friend and he had just treated her like a complete slut. His heart wanted to reach out and answer her call but his pride wouldn’t let him. He felt like his mind was being torn in two. Suddenly he felt exhausted and leaned his forehead against the door as he listened to her cry his name once again.

I’m in the middle of a break down
watching you scream

How many times had she done this since they started. A few but each time, after getting angry and yelling at him, she would come to her senses and fall into his arms again. She understood this was how it was with him didn’t she? By now she should and she wasn’t going to change him no matter how much she cried. Nothing could change his jaded heart. There was only room for one and he already chose her. But even so it didn’t mean he didn’t care. He never meant to hurt her.

in the middle of a break down
screaming at me
and by the way
by the way
what makes you think you’d have it your way
and by the way
and by the way
don’t say I didn’t warn you
that I’ll always stay the same

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there listening to her sob his name over and over again. The pain seeped through the door filling his own heart with deep foreboding. He felt like a part of himself was being cut away with each tear. All he wanted was to hold her and tell her it was all a mistake. He would take it back if he could but his body froze knowing it would be nothing less than a lie. Stubbornly he made himself stay there until he didn’t hear her sobs anymore.

speechless and frozen
uncomfortable silence again
(what did I do to make a scene so gory)
(I’m no better then the ones before me)

After several silent moments he pushed away from the door and walked into the kitchen. Determinedly he grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels from the cupboard along with a glass then poured some in it. He drank the smooth but harsh liquid in one swallow then refilled the glass. His minds eye could see the pain in her vulnerable eyes and the tears on her pretty face. It was an image he would have imprinted in his mind forever.

I’m in the middle of a break down
watching you scream
in the middle of a break down
screaming at me
and by the way
and by the way

He took another shot and refilled the glass. By now the harsh liquid began to warm his body and dull his mind. What did she think would happen? This was how it was. Nothing has changed. She was just being stubborn and stupid like a clingy bitch. ‘But Kagome wasn’t a bitch.’ His heart choked back through the numbness. ‘She is sweet and kind.’

what made you think you’d have it your way
and by the way
and by the way
don’t say I didn’t warn you
that I’ll always stay the same

Frustrated he puts the glass in the sink and headed for bed taking the bottle with him. Unceremoniously he flopped on his bed and placed the bottle to his lips taking a long drought. She had no right to think she owned him. Shit no one could except for one. The only woman he could ever love was Kikyo and she wanted him back now. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. If anyone could understand that it should be Kagome. He told her everything didn’t he? She knew he only held her because he needed to feel a woman in his arms. She had no right to treat him like he was doing something wrong.

battered and bruised
broken confused

If that was true then why did it hurt so bad for her to reject him. The alcohol should be numbing this feeling but instead it only made him feel more loathsome. He knew in his heart this could be the beginning of the end for them.

it’s time we both knew
can’t stop what I started
this time we both lose
lose

It didn’t make any difference how much she cried over it. His feelings weren’t going to change. He wanted Kikyo. Hell he spent 5 years in prison to keep her safe. He loved her more then anything else.

and by the way
and by the way
what made you think you’d have it your way

There was no reason for him to feel bad. Kagome knew how he was. He never hid anything from her. He even told her about Kikyo and him getting back together. Kagome was just being a jealous bitch who couldn’t deal with the reality he loved someone else. She should have known better.

and by the way
and by the way
don’t say I didn’t warn you
that I’ll always stay the same

After all, he’s only known her for a few months. Why should he change for someone like her? She was nothing more then a substitute until Kikyo came to her senses and now that was happening so Kagome should just accept it. There was nothing she could do about it anyway. He loved Kikyo.

the same, the same
I always stay the same

So why did he feel like the whole world hated him? This feeling she was causing in him wasn’t fair. It felt like her sobs were reaching into his heart and tearing him apart bit by bit. The pain was unlike anything he could ever remember. Why did it hurt so much?

(battered and bruised)
the same, (broken confused) the same

But even then he wouldn’t change his mind. He loved Kikyo right? That was how it was so Kagome should just accept it and move on. Still it hurt to think she wouldn’t let him touch her. He asked himself again how he could fuck things up so badly over something so simple. He let the empty bottle drop to the ground as he rolled over finally feeling the alcohol numbing the pain in his heart and dulling his mind. He stared at her side of the bed blurrily as a tear slid from the corner of his eye onto the cool cotton pillow case unnoticed by him.

I didn’t warn you that I’ll always stay the same