Blood Stained

Thank you Eve for Beta-Reading.



Blood Stained



Chapter 33: The Bond of Love



A feeling of warmth.



Darkness surrounded her.



In a flash Kagome opened her eyes, slightly panting as she felt like she was emerging from a nightmare. Not even realizing where she was, she pushed herself up until she was sitting on the bed.



–Wait a bed?



Another panic took over her as she took a glance around. She was in a small wooden room, the windows covered by dirty yellow curtains. The bed she was in was covered by deep blue sheets and a green blanket.



It wasn't until she looked at the opposite side of the room that she saw him.



Sesshomaru was sitting in a chair, his elbow against the armrest while he rested his head in the palm of his hand. That's when she realized that he was actually sleeping. The idea seemed completely insane, since she had never seen him rest -ever. Kagome never thought he actually needed rest.



At first, she wondered why he was sleeping in the chair, but then she quickly realized that there was only one bed in the room and she was currently using it. But then, something else filled her mind. What was she doing in this room?



The last thing Kagome remembered was collecting the shard. After that, they were supposed to be heading for the nearby village, but she had absolutely no memory of ever getting there. She could only assume that was where she currently was.



Kagome looked in his direction before carefully exiting the bed, not making a sound. It wasn't as if she was worried for his sleep, it was mostly because she didn't want him awake yet. Slowly, she made her way to the window and gently pushed the curtains open, not too much, just enough to let a little bit a light in.



From where she was, she could see a glimpse of the forest they had been in and Kagome knew they were now in the village Sesshomaru had told her about. A tiny sigh escaped her lips before she let her eyes roam the rest of the room. The first thing that caught her attention was that she couldn't find her purse. A slight distress overcame her as she looked around one more time searching with her eyes as her heart pounded within her chest.



Then, she spotted it, her eyes widening just a little in surprise.



There, carefully hidden and snuggled up against Sesshomaru's side was her purse. He had kept it beside him, perhaps worried that he may indeed fall into a slumber. Kagome felt relief wash over her as she quietly made her way over towards him. She didn't trust the jewel with anyone but her.



Yet, for a second she stopped and really looked at Sesshomaru. At this precise moment he looked so different, that she had to watch him sleep. In all the times she had been around him, he had seemed so put together and always had a façade on. Sesshomaru had always been in control, yet right now… In a way, he did not only look peaceful, but relaxed as well. For once, he seemed to be completely free of who he was.



Her heart was beating slower, as she licked her bottom lip. He looked vulnerable.



That was never a word she would have thought she could use to describe him with. It made no sense that he had such a side in himself. Kagome had seen the cruel things he was able to do, and she was not referring to the beast, she was referring to Sesshomaru. He had killed people, innocent – he had tried to kill her the first time they met.



He had made her nightmare even worst, with never a speck of a feeling.



Yet, he could feel, he could use his heart.



Rin had been the proof of that.



And maybe, that was what struck her so much at that precise moment, it was as if she could see a glimpse of what Rin had seen in him. It was fake, it was an illusion, since he was not conscious, but she was able to see it. That did not make him a better person, neither did it lessen her pain. But she saw him through a different pair of eyes.



To be honest, it scared her. Kagome had no intention of seeing Sesshomaru any differently – she didn't want to. He was who he was and that was fine with her. Kagome had no wish for their current relationship to differ from what it was. Her vision of him didn't need to be altered. She refused to admit there was someone else deep inside of him, a personality that he hid in the darkness.



She could feel the tears stinging her eyes.



He was not different. She didn't want him to be. He couldn't change, people didn't change.



You can't teach an old dog, new tricks. That statement applied to him.



Deciding she couldn't bear her own thoughts any longer, Kagome closed her eyes before wiping the tears away. She needed to focus her attention on the jewel. She had to get it back. Trying to be careful, she reached out for the purse and gently glided her fingers across it. Then, she took a hold of it and slowly started pulling it out of his hold.



She gasped.



His fingers were tightly wrapped around her wrist, nearly causing her pain because of how tightly they held onto her. Kagome looked up, their eyes meeting. His green eyes bored into her watery grey orbs and she felt as if he was examining her. His eyes were searching hers, as if he had been too quickly awakened and he thought she was a threat.



Kagome's lips were slightly parted, as she remained silent, her words caught in her throat. It was then that Sesshomaru seemed to notice who was in front of him. Slowly he released her wrist, his fingertips sliding all the way to her fingers as he retracted his hand. He blinked a few times, before pulling away the purse, and handing it to her.



That seemed to break Kagome out of her trance.



She slowly took it, before backing away from him, the purse pressed against her chest.



It seemed he wasn't back to looking so prideful, not just yet. She watched as he started transformed in front of her very eyes, his guard was still down and his face still off.



Sesshomaru meanwhile, blinked a few times, trying to completely wake himself up. He couldn't remember the last time he had slept. Even though his appearance was human, he didn't need to sleep as much as them, meaning he could go weeks without a wink of sleep. He was somewhat upset that his body had actually required it right now, of all times.



He took a good look at Kagome who seemed neither confused nor panicked. Did she not remember what happened to her? To confirm his suspicions, he asked her.



"Can you recall how you made your way here?"



She shook her head and he sighed.



"You passed out," he explained, as he got up from the chair.



"I had to carry you here."



He tried to search her eyes, to see how she would react, but she was not looking at him, instead Kagome's eyes were focused on the floor. She seemed so preoccupied. Technically her not remembered passing out was not a surprise. Most of the time she had been sick, she actually couldn't remember. She could have found it strange, but it had happened so often that she did not worry about it.



There was one thing she was grateful for and it was the fact that she had been unconscious when he had carried her. Feeling his arms around her once was enough for one day. What worried her though, was why she had fell into unconsciousness. What could have provoked that? The last thing she remembered was feeling dizzy.



Sesshomaru observed her face, but quickly noticed that she didn't seem to concerned. Instead, she seemed to be lost in her own thoughts. He considered that to be a good reaction.



"The car is waiting in front of the hotel. We should go," he said, before grabbing his jacket and putting it on.



Kagome slowly nodded while remaining silent, she headed towards the door, before he had even finished putting on his jacket. Her silence was out of character for her as was her obedience. But Kagome couldn't help it. Too many things were running through her mind at the moment. She couldn't even worry about herself. All that happened, reminded her too much of the sickness that she had experienced in the feudal era. What if there really was something wrong with Kiyoshi? The thought of it brought tears to her eyes.



She was so preoccupied that she didn't even look back to see if Sesshomaru was behind her or not. Her thoughts had been on him before, but now her new worry was perfect at chasing him out of her head. This news was also much harder on her, because technically, a normal doctor wouldn't be able to say what was wrong. What if it was related to the child's youkai blood and not its human blood? Who was supposed to help her then?



Deep in her thoughts Kagome made her way through the hotel, until she reached the outside. As soon as she stepped out of the hotel she immediately spotted the car that they had been riding in from the previous day. The driver made his way to open the door for her and as he was about to bow, he stopped. A strange look appeared on his face, but Kagome seemed to not notice it as she was to deeply in her own thoughts.



Instead, she entered the car, her heart beating fast. Traveling, finding the shards, it was important, but now every passing day, she grew more worried about her health and that of her child's. It seemed like a new problem was constantly popping up. Was it normal, was it because this was a hanyou pregnancy? The only hanyou she had ever known, -known well- was Inuyasha and he certainly didn't know what happened to his mother while she was pregnant.



It was when she heard voices from outside that her attention was directed through the window of the car. She couldn't understand what was being said. But Kagome could see Sesshomaru talking to the driver. He was frowning while the driver looked concern. Had she missed something? Had something happened which she was not aware of?



A few minutes later, Sesshomaru entered the car and he looked somewhat pissed off. Which was not an emotion she was used to seeing on him, he looked angry with himself, as he sat down. He wasn't even looking at her. She waited for a few seconds, thinking he would share, but he did not.



"What is it?" she finally asked.



Sesshomaru flicked his eyes in her direction, but remained silent. His mood was not great at the moment. He couldn't believe he had been so careless. He was mostly to blame for this, he should have paid more attention. Nobody could be trusted and he should have known better. But without his youki, how could he have known?



This could set them back quite a bit. They couldn't leave India, not just yet. Not until every speck of that poison was out of her blood stream. It was quite simple. The little youkais hadn't given up on their shard as easily as it had appeared they had. Just like he had expected, one of the three times when she had gotten hurt, a sort of poison had been injected into her blood. It not only disturbed her aura, but it also made it different, recognizable. Obviously, it would make her easy to follow, since they could pin point her location with it.



That was why her aura had flared up before she had passed out. Thinking back on it now that he thought more about it, her aura was not the only one that reacted to the poison. The pup had to have tried to protect both himself and her. It was the only way to explain why Sesshomaru had felt pain when he had touched her. His human body was not protected against a demonic aura.



Now this set them back. He refused to take her back to Japan where her location would be known and he didn't wish to travel giving away the location of the other shards. The best and only thing to do was to remain where they were for the moment, guard the jewel to the best of their abilities as they could. Since it was not safe for him to release his youki, the only way they would know if the poison left her body, was to keep the driver close by.



Now his only problem and concern would be how to explain this to the miko.



Her eyes were still on him, he could see the worry in her eyes. She feared for the pup, yet at the moment, she should fear for her own life. Sesshomaru rubbed his forehead with his index and thumb, his impatience growing. He knew this would be troublesome. He didn't like this, not one bit. Perhaps what frustrated him the most was his own weakness.



The reason why he was there with her was so he could protect her. But honestly, what had he done so far? The only time he had attempted to protect her, he had to require his youki. Now, she was poisoned and if it hadn't been for a lower class youkai who posed as their driver, he wouldn't have known about it. He would have carelessly dragged her around the world and exposed the rest of the shards as well as the jewel.



He was weak.



The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth.



Sesshomaru had accepted a lot of things over the years, but weakness was never one he was willing to show. It destroyed him from the inside. He looked back at her and he could see her lips moving. He could not hear what she was saying though, he was so lost in his own mind. Slowly, he brought himself back to reality and opened himself to her words and questions.



"-telling me?"



He tried to understand what she had asked, but decided to drop it.



"We'll have to stay here longer."



Her eyes widened, either in surprise or in anger, he did not know.



"But- we have the shard," she offered weakly. "Why would we stay any longer?"



Sesshomaru sighed, resigning himself to what he must tell her now.



"Miko, it appears you have been poisoned."



The first instinct she had was placing her hands on her stomach.



"Po-poisoned?" she stuttered. Did that mean she would die?



He wanted to ease her worries, so he explained.



"Your aura is different than normal. It's been made easier to be tracked – so they can follow you. It should not bring any harm to your body, or that of the pup. It only seems to be affecting both of your auras."



She bit her bottom lip.



"It would be safer to remain here, not revealing any locations."



Although she understood his words, she felt slightly panicked. She understood exactly what those words meant. They would have to remain at the hotel for a little while, which didn't seem so bad, but you had to look at the whole picture. Basically, sight seeing was out of the question. If it wasn't safe to travel, it wasn't safe to venture away from the hotel.



She'd be stuck in the room with him. Nowhere to go, no one she could seek comfort from.



Just her and Sesshomaru, alone.



Kagome slowly nodded, her heart caught in her throat. Her voice would not work.



For a second she almost wondered whom she would be facing during those days. She would rather stay in familiar territories. She didn't like the Sesshomaru she saw while he slept. His vulnerability scared her, because it almost transformed him into someone likeable.



He informed the driver by tapping on the glass to return to the hotel. The ride back to the hotel had been done in complete silence. Kagome could not argue with what he had said, for the same reason why she had agreed to travel with him. The jewel. Her goal was to protect it, complete it, so she could rid the world of it. If someone intended to follow her, to snatch the shards away, the best thing to do was to remain as safe as possible.



Though she had a feeling that remaining in one room with Sesshomaru, for a few days, could not be good for her. Yes, it was true that so far, he had done nothing to harm her, but nonetheless. Perhaps she feared it because it was in those moments that he would talk to her and some of his words would stick with her, she just knew it.



I am not it.



Those words still echoed in her mind. She had tried so hard to fight against them. On many occasions, he had seemed eager to prove that statement, yet a part of her heart refused to believe it.



Kagome had once told Sesshomaru how ironic it was that he had hurt her, yet he had vowed to protect Rin and her descendants. Even after everything that had happened, her situation was still ironic as well.



Hadn't she spent most of her time in the Feudal Era, striving to prove she was not Kikyo? That she was herself? Wasn't Sesshomaru trying to do the same thing? Kagome hardly thought that made up for the way he hurt her, but nonetheless, wasn't he a different person than it? If he had been any other person, she probably would have related to him, but not in this case. Perhaps she could give him this chance to be himself. She could see him as Sesshomaru.



Her heart stopped beating for a second. Could she possibly do that? A few times she had been able to do that, but, all the time? Could she see two different people and hate them for different reasons? Could she forgive one half, while never wanting to see the other?



Couldn't he understand that in his case, it was so much harder to set him apart from his beast? He looked the same, they shared the same body. It was hard and it was asking a lot from her. Though it didn't require her to like either half, just having to admit they were different entities.



Maybe, one day.



Then, they arrived back at the hotel, it seemed both of them were extremely relieved, of course not for the same reasons. Kagome was the first one to exit the car and shyly, she made her way into the hotel. Sesshomaru followed closely behind, glancing around as if he was expecting to see someone that shouldn't be there. Once he seemed satisfied, he exchanged a look with the driver and walked into the hotel.



Since he couldn't watch over the area by himself, he had to rely on someone else. He didn't like it though. Of course, a background check had already been done on the driver so he could be trusted, but only so far. Over the years, Sesshomaru had learned to trust very few people. At the moment, his situation was difficult, and he had no other choices.



When Sesshomaru focused his attention back on Kagome, he noticed she was gone already and he rapidly made his way up to their room.



She had yet to express her thoughts or have a reaction to their current situation, somehow it didn't feel right. Usually, he could at least see a glimpse of some emotion in her eyes, but not this time. Heck, she hadn't even been panicky. Something was wrong.



He reached their room and opened the door, only to find Kagome sitting at the edge of the bed, she looked completely engulfed in her own world. He was somewhat confused and wanted to ask her, but she most likely would not answer him in her current state of mind.



Instead he made his way to his bag and opening it, he grabbed a book from inside of it. The same one he had been reading on the plane. Then, he lay down on his own bed and began to read. From the looks of things, they would be here for a while, their options of activities were limited. He had brought some work and a few books, but he wasn't sure Kagome had brought anything with her for entertainment. After all, this delay was unexpected.



But she didn't seem to mind at the moment, since she was on the bed, not moving. Seemingly lost in her own thoughts.



He pushed away the urge to ask once again.



Meanwhile Kagome couldn't bear to turn around. Her mind was so confused and frankly right now, her emotions were such a mess she didn't know what to think. It felt as if too many things were happening all at once, although she had apparently slept, her body felt completely exhausted, as if she had obtained no sleep at all.



Perhaps because other things preoccupied her, the thought that she had to spend a few days with Sesshomaru, alone in the room, hadn't completely sunk in just yet. In a way, it was a good thing.



Sometimes, Kagome wondered if all the stress she put herself under was the reason why she felt so sick so often. Stress was not good when you were pregnant and she doubted the fact that the child was a hanyou mattered. A child needed a calm environment to grow and develop and so far that wasn't something she had been able to provide.



It wasn't as if she didn't want to, but her feelings were too much for her own self to bear.



Kagome had never had such fear and darkness growing in her heart before. It was an overwhelming feeling she couldn't learn how to deal with. She knew humans were meant to experience darkness, Kagome had lived through a few hard moments herself, including the death of her father, but this was different. A part of her had been destroyed, stolen and there was now a void within her. Kagome didn't know how to forget, or how to fill it.



Darkness had a hold on her heart.



Darkness.



For the first time in the last few minutes, Kagome actually reacted. She snapped her head up in the direction of her purse, and rushed to grab it. Her actions immediately attracted Sesshomaru's attention, he carefully observed her. Kagome pulled out the box containing the jewel from her purse, her bottom lip quivered.



"I can't," she finally whispered.



She had succumbed like so many had before her.



"I can't purify the jewel."



Kagome feared life, feared him, she feared…fear.



She had become weak. She had allowed herself to be corrupted.



In the past, she had gone against danger head first, she had never let anything stop her. That someone could kill her in a blink of an eye, had never stopped her from standing up to them. Even when she never stood a chance, she had fought. No matter what people had said, she had believed in herself, she had known that whatever happened, she would pull through.



Then, he had happened.



Where had her fighting spirit gone? Why had her desire to live disappeared? A lot of bad things had happened, but Kagome had learned to shield herself from them before. He had broken right through, and she had let him take what was most valuable to her. She had allowed the beast to crush her very soul.



Everything that mattered, he had taken it away. But the worse part was, she had let him. She wasn't even fighting away the feeling, she wasn't gaining back control of her own life.



Perhaps she never had much control on her innocence but this he shouldn't be allowed to have.



Because of him, her very duty had become impossible for her to do. Kagome was supposed to be the guardian of the jewel. Yet she could not bear to hold it. It should not have matter how much darkness filled it, she should always be able to at least have it in her possession. But not now, she had allowed the pain to take a hold of her heart, and the jewel used it against her.



Its greatest weapon was herself.



Usually, she had never been able to be control because she didn't let darkness take over. This time, she had failed. The jewel could control her. It was using that to its advantage. Her eyes were burning from the pain as her grip on the box grew tighter.



Kagome's eyes traveled slightly upwards and she saw Sesshomaru looking straight at her.



She had to let go.



It was the only way to chase away the darkness, to be whole once again.



Unconsciously, she glued her lips together.



One little problem, she didn't know how.



Kagome had so often forgiven people in the past, but this was different, it was new. It was a concept that was unknown, strange and unfamiliar to her. But until she did, it made this whole shard hunt completely useless. Because in the end, all she would have would be a completed dark jewel, which could have power over her.



How to forgive? How to erase such a painful past?



Kami knew she had let many things slide with Inuyasha, but…. But. She couldn't push her thoughts any further. In her mind, he did not deserve any forgiveness. That was the thing. By not moving on, all she did was punish herself even further. He wasn't paying the price because she wasn't forgiving him, he obviously couldn't care less.



The only one who was truly losing in this situation was her.



Kagome needed to move on, for her own sake.



She needed to move on so she could live again.



It would take time, it would require for her to learn how.



She didn't want to be his friend, she didn't want to respect him, but she had to move on. He had to have no effect on her. Kagome needed to learn how to be completely neutral in his presence. But, she would need to chase her fear away first. It would probably be the most difficult thing for her to do. He wouldn't need to do anything, but she had to work to do this.



At this point, all Sesshomaru had been able to do was stare at her. He had a feeling whatever was on her mind he was involved in her thoughts, as she kept glancing his way. He didn't know if it was bad or good though, he could see the suffering in her eyes. Slowly, he put his book down, before focusing his attention on her.



Was she now ready to share whatever had been on her mind?



Their eyes met, a tear rolled down Kagome's cheek.



Before she knew it, the box fell out of her grip. Just before she dropped to the ground, her knees had become weak and had given out on her. The first reflex Sesshomaru had was to get up from the bed and try to prevent her fall. Of course with his human speed, he never stood a chance.



The first thing that crossed his mind was that she must feel sick again. Perhaps it was the poison? Could it be that it was not properly diluted in her blood? Though, it had been hours, it should have been by now. Although he made sure to keep a certain distance, he didn't want to invade her personal space, he was still on his knees right beside her, his arms awkwardly by his side.



And he waited.



Kagome pressed her palms against the ground, trying to gain some support. She had to slowly let go of the pain or she would never be able to get better. She had to allow herself to forget so she could grow and finally break free of the darkness.



Until she did, he would always have some type of hold on her life. If she truly wanted him out, she had to forgive him. Her heart was hammering inside of her chest, Kagome thought it would burst open at the pressure. All of this meant facing everything that had happened once again. She had to come to terms with it, so she could get rid of it all.



That would require spending some time with him.



Why? Because she couldn't deal with simple memories, she had to face the person. There was only one problem though, she had to face more than Sesshomaru, she had to see the beast too. But wasn't that nearly impossible, since he wouldn't understand what she needed to do, he wouldn't let her move on would it? Perhaps as long as she forgave the beast, she wouldn't need to see it?



"Miko?"



His voice echoed through her mind and she wondered if she should answer.



Could she answer, could she find her own voice?



Slowly, Kagome titled her head and looked up at him. His green eyes were fixed on her face, as if he were trying to see what caused her to fall. She knew he couldn't even begin to understand what was going through her mind, so she nodded.



Her answer only made him more confused. What was she nodding at? What was she agreeing to?



Then, she seemed to recover her voice.



"I have to forgive you," she breathed out, her voice cracking. As if it were the hardest thing to admit.



"I have to," she repeated, her words causing her to shiver slightly.



Sesshomaru frowned slightly. Forgive him? Never did he think he would hear such words from her, which led him to believe, he had heard wrong. She couldn't possibly understand or mean what she had just said.



But he had to ask, just in case. "Why?"



Many times, he had pictured Rin in Kagome's situation, all the scenarios ended with him killing whoever had hurt her that way. How could there be forgiveness for such actions? How could there be redemption?



Tears flowed out of her eyes.



"Because I want to be me again," she said, choking on a sob.



This person she had become was not Kagome, it was a stranger, who did not enjoy life. She bore her eyes into his, trying to make him understand.



"I don't want to suffer anymore."



The one who caused her pain, was the one who could relieve her from it. Wasn't this life simply filled with ironies?



Then Kagome looked away, her eyes landing on the jewel.



"I can't touch it because of you," she said, blaming him with her words.



"I'm tainted with darkness," she added, nearly scoffing.



The one person who was supposed to be shielded from pain, was no longer protected.



And then, it all made sense to Sesshomaru.



The reason she couldn't hold a shard, how her soul seemed to grow darker when she had it in her hand. She couldn't even purify it. But then, once again, it meant he had caused her pain and the problem. Could she really ever be free of him? It was as if the memory of him would haunt her forever.



And he remembered as well the person she used to be. Granted he hadn't known her very well back then, but he had still noticed her behavior. The miko had never feared him, she had always stood up to him, especially if harm was to come to Inuyasha.



Foolishly, just like a child, she had always believed no harm would come to her.



She had been proven wrong.



Yet she had courage back then, it was one thing he could not deny. Even with everything she had been put through, she was still alive and well. Against all odds, her goal had kept her going, she had succeeded into getting home. The Miko had even convinced the old him to play along with her plan and she had managed to force him into being near her.



She had more strength than she gave herself credit for.



Even now, forgiveness was never something he thought he'd obtain. But now, though she claimed she would, all it did was leave a bitter feeling inside of him. Kagome was not going to forgive him because he had earned it, but because she had to do it for herself.



Somehow, it made this much worse and it only helped into increasing his guilt. He didn't like it, as if he didn't want it. Of course, he could not refuse it either, since she needed to, for her own sake. But then, he would be the one carrying that weight with him, because never could he forget.



Then again, as she had said, she couldn't erase the memory either. Even if she forgave him and moved on, so it was only fair that he kept it with him as well.



But right now, all he could do was watch her as she was on all fours on the floor, crying. This was the last time she would shed tears for him, but she needed to let them out. She couldn't let the event break her heart again, but she needed to empty her heart one last time.



At the moment, she felt as if it would never cease. Kagome's heart was completely destroyed by the pain and it refused to stop. Then something unexpected happened that took both of them by surprise.



All of a sudden Kagome found herself surrounded by a purple aura. Her first instinct was to panic, thinking there was danger, but she quickly found out she was wrong. The aura was not hurting her, instead, it soothed her. It felt warm and silky against her skin, it lifted some of the pain away. Confused, she looked up at Sesshomaru.



His eyes were glued on her stomach and she seemed to quickly understand. Slowly, she roamed her hands over her bulging stomach, caressing it. It was Kiyoshi? Could he even do that? How? Wasn't he too young? How could he possibly control his aura when she couldn't even do that to her own?



Kagome began to breathe faster and it was Sesshomaru's words that brought her out of her trance.



"He worries for you."



Her eyes saddened.



"He can feel your emotions," explained Sesshomaru, before slowly changing his position so that he was now sitting on the ground.



"There is a bond between a pup and its mother. He feels what you feel."



Did her son feel her heart break?



Kagome never meant for him to suffer the way she had. She was the mother, she was supposed to shield him from the harsh world, not introduce it to him. But it seemed her guilt did not affect Kiyoshi, because the aura remained around her.



The length of the aura surrounding her meant nothing to her, because she didn't know anything about youkai and their powers. But to Sesshomaru, it represented something. Strength. Obviously, the pup didn't know what he was doing. It was instinct. He wished to protect his mother, to ease her pain.



Nonetheless, he had done it.



This not only told Sesshomaru about his son's strength, but also his determination. From the glow around Kagome's body, he could tell these were no weak powers, but one question remained. The only time Sesshomaru had seen such an aura around a hanyou was when they resorted to their youkai blood. There was no way it was what the child was doing at the moment. The miko's state was not that bad.



But, the child couldn't be full blooded. It was impossible, he knew it. Perhaps he had a better control of his power during his development. It was the only logical explanation to all of this.



Still, he couldn't convince himself fully and his eyes were still locked on her stomach. With his youki he would have been able to see much easier. There he was again, thinking about how he needed it. But he couldn't really help himself, he was a youkai and that he wanted it or not his youki was a part of him. Without it he would never be complete. It was as if a part of his soul were missing.



One thing for sure, this pup was hanyou.



It couldn't be any different.



A human and a youkai only produced hanyou, it was well known. Never had anything else happened before and things wouldn't change now just because this was his pup. His own father, who was powerful, had a hanyou.



Meanwhile, Kagome was completely oblivious to his predicament. Her eyes were completely closed as she tried to feel her child. She had never done this before and she wasn't sure she was doing it right. Although she was touched by the gesture, this was her fight. Never would she want this to affect her child. She would raise Kiyoshi like any other child.



What happened between her and Sesshomaru was her pain.



Kiyoshi was the best thing that happened to her and she wouldn't let anything happen to him. Even if that meant being more careful of her own feelings if only to spare him. From this nightmare, from this pain, he was the only light.



The thought of her child, of the life growing inside of her, it was enough.



Maybe it was the hope she needed to bring herself back from the darkness. Kagome needed something pure, something untouched.



And nothing was as innocent as a child.



***