Fire and Rain

Note: I have to say, reviews are very helpful. I’m telling you a story, and although I wish we could all be huddled around a campfire so I could see your reactions and we could discuss everything (or maybe not, considering the nature of the majority of my fics), that’s not possible. I can’t see what you’re thinking and feeling, and I want to know what you think and how you feel on this journey we’re taking. If you don’t review, I assume you didn’t like it, and if no one likes it, why should I bother?





In other news, I have a job now and I’m still going to school, so after this story is uploaded, it might be a while before I’m able to present new material, although I am working on several other stories right now and have many outlined completely.





I made Sango the super OOC comic relief here. Sango never gets to be the comic relief and it’s about time she had her turn. No, I don’t consider spousal abuse to be humorous, and the whole “Sango beating Miroku into unconsciousness for minor acts of perversion” thing is as implausible as it is boring. Still, I might find a way to sneak it in anyhow, just for old times’ sake.

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Three: Mr. Duplicity





(You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette)





“Kagome?! Oh, Christ!” Sango screamed, running as best she could in her towering wedge platforms, her many bangles jingling on her wrists as she advanced.





Kagome held her arms out and steeled herself, preparing for the collision. Sango had always been an extremely enthusiastic girl, and every time they had seen each other in the halls at school, the greeting was always the same, even if they had just spoken not ten minutes before.





At least one thing hadn’t changed.





Sango covered her face in loud, smacking kisses, ignoring her friend’s grimacing. Kagome was just happy the other girl hadn’t cried. She had enough tears of her own, seeing other people with them was just hecka depressing. Did people even say hecka anymore?





“Never in a bazillion years did I think you’d call me,” she gushed, pulling away and beaming at her old friend. “We hardly spoke after you started dating that dickhole Inuwhatsa.”





“Sorry ‘bout that,” she muttered, not wanting to get into a big conversation about that time of her life.





“When I heard you got hurt, I was so freaking bummed for weeks,” she said, the tears beginning to flow, her heavily mascaraed eyes leaking dark rivers onto her face. “I don’t think I ever really got over it like, all the way, you know?”





“I’m sorry,” she said sincerely. It was sometimes hard to remember that other people loved her and had missed her.





“But now you’re back and we have got to party!” she practically screamed, startling others in the waiting room.





Kagome loved Sango, but she was beginning to regret calling her. It was just that she’d had no other options. All her other friends had moved away or were unlisted, all but Sango. Her number was different, but it was her. She had first tried using social networking websites, but the ones she had frequented six years ago were long abandoned and she didn’t know what everyone was doing now. For all she knew, they had chips implanted in their brains and all their browsing was done with the power of thought.





“I’m not really up for partying,” she said quietly, trying to edge Sango out the door. Several people in the waiting room had just lost loved ones or were anxiously awaiting news, and it would be inappropriate to laugh and talk happily like the world was a wonderful place.





Sango narrowed her eyes at her, either from the suddenly bright sunlight or disdain. “Kagome, baby cakes, you have the best reason in the world to party. And so do I,” she whispered before inhaling dramatically. “WE’RE ALIIIIIVE!” she sang like a female impersonator who also happened to be an aspiring opera singer.





Kagome couldn’t help it and she laughed. Maybe Sango was just what she needed.





“Now what we need,” the taller woman said, placing a finger to her chin, “is to make you an adult.”





“But I am an adult.”





“Yeah, but you look like a kid. Starting tonight, you will embark on a quest for adulthood. It’s gonna be so fun! We don’t have time to go shopping, so you can borrow an outfit of mine and stuff.”





“I-I don’t really feel like going out,” she protested. She still looked like a Tim Burton character and any social event would just make her feel anxious.





Sango looked at her sharply, reading her friend’s mind without consent the way she had always somehow managed to do. “Kagome, you’re fuckin’ gorgeous. Stop being all lame.”





Kagome’s mouth dropped open in indignation. “Excuse you, I am not lame. Or gorgeous,” she finished, muttering.





Her friend rolled her eyes and grabbed her hand, tugging her along through the humongous parking lot. “You’ve got this super dramatic cheekbones look!” Sango exclaimed. “I am so incredibly jealous. I can’t even look at you right now. Ugh, it’s just not fair. You were always the pretty one.”





Kagome snorted. “Yeah, right. Thanks for trying to make me feel better, but I know what I look like.”





They stopped in front of a beige Volkswagen Beetle convertible. The side of her mouth turned up. It was the same exact car from their high school days. Sango had gotten it a month before Kagome’s accident.





“The top works now,” Sango said smugly, running her hand over the dented exterior. “Hop in! We’re going home.”





It was kind of exciting, being an adult and all. No one to report to, nothing. Kagome didn’t even want to think about her family, so she blocked it out of her mind. She was going to be roomies with Sango, it was going to be awesome and eventually they’d meet a pair of super gorgeous wealthy twin brothers and they were going to get married, just like they’d planned in middle school. Sango pulled up in front of a large apartment building, parking directly in front of it instead of the garage.





“Come on!” she urged, grinning in excitement.





Kagome followed the other girl to one of the bottom floor apartments, apprehension in every step.





“Make-over,” Sango whispered to herself as she struggled to unlock her front door, “Can’t wait to touch her hair. Oh my gosh, the red ones!”





The apartment was small and tidy and that was all Kagome had time to see before Sango dragged her to the bathroom, parking her right in front of the mirror. She flinched. She hadn’t looked at herself since Kikyo had come to visit.





“You stay right here while I go and find the perfect man catching dress,” Sango commanded.





“But I don’t want to catch a man!”





Sango glared at her and she gulped. “We both want to catch men, Kagome,” she said through clenched teeth. “And we need to do it while we’re young and hot before the middle school kids of today grow up and become young and hot. Car-pee demon! Seize the dream! It’s French.”





Kagome rolled her eyes at the butchered Latin and dared to glance at her reflection. At least her hair was nice. Maybe, just maybe she could have fun tonight. As long as Sango didn’t run off and ditch her the minute a guy started paying attention to her. She’d make sure to stay by the other girl’s side regardless. The world had changed and left her behind. She’d need a good long while to acclimate. Sighing wearily, she hoped her reintroduction to society would go well.





“Got it!” screeched Sango, hurrying back to the tiny bathroom she had abandoned her friend in. “White dress, red pumps, gold jewelry. You’re gonna look like a flippin’ model who humps rock stars for fun on a boring Tuesday night.”





She thrust the clothing at Kagome, who clutched at it anxiously, giving her friend a pointed look to tell her to leave. With a grunt, she shimmied out of her baggy hospital sweats, making sure to keep her eyes away from the mirror, and stepped into the dress. It was a little loose, but not terribly so, and the pleated length of skirt flowed nicely down to her knees. The only problem was in the bosom area. There was hardly any coverage. Just two triangles that thinned into strings that she’d tie behind her neck. Her heart beating like mad, she reminded herself that she was an adult and by the end of tonight she would learn how to act like one. With shaking hands and eyes shut tight, she removed her bra and tied the noose—er, halter—around her neck.





Kagome opened one eye, tentatively checking herself out in the mirror. What she saw made her gasp. The dress somehow made it look like she had actual breasts that were actually worth looking at! Turning this way and that, she examined herself. She didn’t look half bad. Either she had changed a lot in the time she’d stopped looking at her reflection, or, more likely, the dress was magic. Whatever it was, she didn’t care.





“Ugh, I knew you’d look incredibly sexalicious. Guys are gonna be cumming in their pants and I’m just gonna be there next to you looking like a goddamned ewok in comparison.”





Kagome laughed at Sango’s grumpy statement. “Can you do my make-up?” she asked earnestly. “I want mine to look like yours.”





Sango’s eyes lit up. “I’ll do you one better and make yours look super nice. You don’t want to cake it on like I do.”





With delicate strokes of thin brushes, Sango painted Kagome’s face to perfection. When her friend turned her around to face the mirror with a broad grin on her face, Kagome couldn’t believe her eyes. She did look like a model who humped rock stars for fun. And it was glorious. She couldn’t remember ever feeling this exhilarated, this good about herself. Even if what lay under the magical dress was just a network of thin scars, what she looked like tonight made up for it.





“You kinda look a bit like Kikyo,” Sango mused, completely ruining Kagome’s mood.





“Please don’t ever say that again.”





“Why not?” Sango asked, oblivious. “Remember when we used to sneak into her room and try on her clothes and use her make-up and you would go on and on about how you were going to be just like her?”





“I’d rather not remember,” she hissed.





“Hey,” Sango said, her brown eyes now concerned. “What happened?”





Not crying because she didn’t want to ruin her make-up, Kagome said, “She’s married.”





“And that bothers you?”





“To Inuyasha,” she said floatily, trying to sound unaffected as she slipped into the red strappy heels.





“Ohhh,” she said, nodding in understanding. Then her eyes flashed and her mouth turned down in a sneer. “What the fuck?! How in the hell did that happen?”





“I don’t know and I don’t want to know.”





“Alright, Kagome,” she sighed. “Ready to go?”





“Mmmhmm.”





They left the little apartment, with Kagome wondering why Sango hadn’t bothered to change and instead spent a long time dressing her up like some sort of doll. Reentering the tiny beige death trap, Sango drove at a furious pace to a part of the city that used to be strictly fast-food restaurants. The obvious change was interesting, but she still didn’t like it. Had she been there to observe the changes, it might have been a different story.





“Come on,” Sango said, pulling her bodily out of the car. “You’re getting us to the front of the line.”





There was no line and Kagome rolled her eyes. The place seemed pretty quiet, like it had yet to open. Inside was a different matter. Tons of people were grinding together in one swarming mass of humanity, their voices almost overpowering the “music”. Kagome looked around with her mouth open. Why would anyone actually come here willingly? Sango was already dancing with a guy, her arms around his neck and her front completely plastered to his. Kagome wanted to drag her away and give her a lecture on personal space.





But she was an adult now. She might as well act like one.





Drifting over to the bar, she tried to jockey for a space, but had no luck. A legion of artificial blondes, both male and female, were hanging over the place, flirting with the bartender in futile attempts to get free or discounted drinks. Resigned to a night of thirstiness, she turned around and tried to look like she wasn’t miserable. She wasn’t sure if it was working.





“Hey!”





Kagome jumped in surprise and annoyance. Who the heck just sneaks up on a person and shouts in their ear like that?!





“Hojo?!” she yelled in disbelief.





“I knew it was you!” he shouted back, smiling broadly. “How’s it going?”





She looked him up and down. The guy looked good out of his scrubs. Would he count as a man if she tried to catch him? Nodding to herself, she decided he would.





“Good! Just a little thirsty!” she trilled, fanning herself and rolling her eyes in exaggeration.





“Haha, I hear that. What’s your poison?”





Poison? She knew she looked blank and tried to make up for her ignorance with an overload of confidence. “Uh, I’ll have whatever you’re having, handsome.” She winced.





His smile widening, he shoved between two vulgarly tanned identical beings and shouted for something or other, Kagome wasn’t paying attention. She had lost sight of Sango and was beginning to wonder if she should look for her or play the game with Hojo.





“Here!” he said, handing her a tiny glass.





She downed it without thinking, scanning the dance floor for her tall and loud friend without any luck. Shrugging, she placed the glass down on the bar. “Wanna dance?”





Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed his hand, pushing and shoving until they were in the thick of the dance floor, almost by the extremely androgynous DJ.





“I’m so happy you’ve recovered!” he said as he held her waist delicately like they were at prom.





“Me too!”





“So where are you staying now?”





“With a friend.”





“That’s good.”





They lapsed into silence again and she discovered that she did not mind. Hojo was easy to be around.





“We went to school together, you know,” he yelled suddenly.





“Really?” Kagome squinted at his face, trying to look beneath the years and place him.





“I was a senior when you had your accident. Same grade as your sister, I even had a couple classes with her. But you changed my life.”





“How?” she asked, confused.





“You made me realize my own mortality. That forced me to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, and I wanted to help people. And now here we are!” He smiled down at her affectionately.





Kagome knew her face was flushed. The way he was looking at her made her feel, well, she didn’t exactly know if it was good or bad. She knew that he liked her, and she liked that he liked her. Mind made up, she rose to her tippy toes, her hand gripping his shoulder tightly right before she—





“What the fuck?!” roared a familiar voice, louder even than the music.





She found herself being yanked back from Hojo, and she whipped around to face the one who had prevented what would have been her first kiss in six years.





“Leave me alone, Inuyasha!” she shrieked, not caring that she sounded and probably looked crazy.





His voice was deeper, smoother, but it was still him. He would always be him and she would recognize him even if they were separated for fifty years. That was just her incredibly dumb luck.





“I recognize you from the hospital, you fucking pervert,” Inuyasha said, ignoring her. By this time, a small crowd within the crowd had gathered around them and she was nervous. “Trying to take advantage of someone who’s still mentally a teenager. You fucker. Did you touch her while she was comatose, too?!”





Kagome slapped Inuyasha as hard as she could. Hojo had been the only one to understand her in the hospital, the only one to treat her like a person. He was a kind, gentle human being and she would not let anyone insult him, especially not the man in front of her.





He stared at her in shock, the first time he had looked her in the eyes since she had woken up. Seizing the day, she gripped Hojo’s face in her hands and brought him down for a kiss, hoping he wouldn’t be mad that she was basically just using him to piss her ex-boyfriend off.





She was ripped away again and this time dragged harshly from the stunned-looking man she had just kissed. Inuyasha didn’t stop until they were in his car, some fancy thing she didn’t even know the name of. Kagome had wanted to kick and scream, but they had already caused a scene and besides, she was an adult now and she better act like one.





The stress caught up with her and she burst into tears, not even bothering to try and hold them back. Maybe they’d make him feel bad and then she’d win.





“Please don’t cry,” he said in a whisper. “Oh god, Kagome, please don’t.”





That only made her sob louder, and she thought about other things to make her cry harder, like her mother and grandfather. It worked and soon she was so loud she marveled at the volume. Just a few days ago she wouldn’t have been able to manage something like that.





“Shhh,” he said, drawing her into his arms. It felt nice, he was warm, he was familiar, so she let it happen. She hadn’t had much physical human contact since she had woken up.





“Look at me,” he said, and something in his voice made her stop crying and obey.





His eyes, that same strange color that seemed to be a mix of everything, were boring into her own gray ones, and the intensity made her shiver. What was happening? Inuyasha’s thumb ran over her lower lip, lingering a bit, and then he kissed her, coming at her so fast she didn’t have time to think let alone stop it.





Kagome slapped him again. Hurting him felt almost as nice as kissing him.





“Ow!” he yelped, clutching the side of his face. “What was that for?”





“For cheating on me!” she said from between clenched teeth. “O-or on Kikyo. I don’t even know anymore.”





“We need to talk.”





She moved to get out of the car and he grabbed her wrist, squeezing hard to let her know that he would just follow her again.





“Proceed,” she muttered, slumping over in defeat.





Inuyasha stayed silent for a long while, and just when she was about to yell at him to hurry up, he spoke.





“When you were hit by that car, I couldn’t even fucking believe it,” he said in a hoarse, quiet voice. “Even though I saw it, I just couldn’t believe it. Not you.”





He stopped again and she rolled her eyes.





“They wouldn’t let me see you in the hospital. Only immediate family. I thought I was going to die if I couldn’t see you; I couldn’t even sleep, I just kept seeing the car hitting you and you flying through the air and landing on your head. Oh, fuck. But Kikyo snuck me in. The first time, you looked so bad that I thought you were going to die before the week was out.”





“Thanks so much,” she muttered.





Inuyasha ignored her. “Kikyo snuck me in to see you every day. You were—so different. So changed. It tore me apart. Even Kikyo looked more like you than you did at that point. And eventually there came a time when I went to see your sister instead of you.”





Kagome glared at him, feeling her nostrils flare. She couldn’t believe that he was actually telling her this. That kind of blunt honesty was still too hurtful, just like Kikyo’s had been.





“She and I got physical really fast. I—“ He paused and wet his dry lips, a movement she followed with her eyes without knowing why. “I wanted to pretend. To pretend like you were with me and not in that hospital. I couldn’t do that with just talking to her because the two of you are so different, but your bodies… Well, you guys look a lot alike.”





“I’m leaving,” she rasped, turning to go.





“Don’t!” he pleaded, looking at her again. “Just listen. Even when I was pretending with her, I knew it would have been better with you. The first time, I even said your name. She let me.” He smiled sadly. “I cried for an entire hour afterward, and she just held me without saying anything.”





“Great. Wonderful. You have an awesome sex life, I know, I don’t need you to tell me about it.”





“The first time,” he said, talking over her, “after that first time, I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to be with you, but you weren’t dead and you weren’t alive. So what could I do to be with you? Nothing. There was nothing. I just exist now.” Taking a deep breath, he forced her face to turn towards his and cradled her head in his hands gently, the gentlest he’d ever been with her. “I love Kikyo, but I can never love her the way I love you.”





His use of the present-tense made her choke on a gasp.





“And when they called, and the nurse was all out of breath and frantic and told us to come to the hospital,” he continued, “I thought that everything was over. That you were dead. And I swore that I’d finally do it. After the funeral, I’d jump off a fucking building or something and we could be together again, finally. But you were alive. And awake. I was so… I don’t even know what to call it. Grateful? Awed? And when we finally went to go see you, I couldn’t even speak, couldn’t even look at you no matter how much I wanted to. You were just the same, but you weren't. And I realized that I'd changed. I haven't been happy, I've been so fucking miserable and angry all the time. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you. If I had known, I would have waited for you.”





Inuyasha’s eyes were shining as bright as hers and she sighed.





“I know, Inuyasha. I know.”





“Do you still love me?” he asked so hopefully that her heart almost broke.





“I don’t know.”





He lowered his face into his hands and his shoulders shook lightly. Kagome knew that he was probably crying. He had done the same thing when his father died in middle school, and she had brazenly comforted him with a kiss on the cheek, which was the move that began their relationship. Now, nearly eight years after that first kiss, she did the same thing for the same reason. It was the only thing she could do to bring him comfort.





Inuyasha looked up at her, and she knew he was remembering the same thing she was. Quickly, he kissed her on the lips again, more passionately and skillfully than he ever had before. It occurred to her that he had grown up, and that Kikyo had taken that journey with him, had taught him how to kiss that way.





“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered against her damp, trembling lips. “Still so beautiful.”





Kagome couldn’t do anything but produce a confused moan. He was kissing her the way she’d dreamed he would all those years ago, the way girls in movies got kissed in the rain or in airports.





“Oh god, Kagome, I want you,” he groaned, picking up on her mood. “I haven’t even touched Kikyo since you woke up.”





Her eyes opening wide, she shoved him away. “Take me to Sango’s. I’ll give you the directions.”





“Come back to the shrine!” he begged, confused at her behavior. “Me and Kikyo live there now. I know she said that we donated all your stuff, but I actually took it and put it in storage. I wasn’t ready to let go.”





She glared at him with all the wrath she had in her, which was a considerable amount. “I can't believe how much you've changed. You're a terrible person, Inuyasha.”





He just stared at her blankly.





“Ugh!” she exclaimed in exasperation. “Whatever. Why are you living at the shrine anyway? Weren’t you always bragging that your family was like super mega rich?”





“When your mom died,” he said, not noticing her flinch, “the shrine was heavily in debt. I bought it, and Kikyo and I moved from our place across the city.”





“Oh,” she said dully, staring at her hands. “When did the two of you get married?”





“I was nineteen, she was twenty-one. We had our three-year wedding anniversary just a couple months ago.”





She grunted in response, angry at herself for even asking.





“You know, I stayed with you the entire night before the wedding.”





“Weren’t you just accusing Hojo of doing something like that?”





“It wasn’t like that!” he shouted. “I just slept next to you. I paid the nurses to let me stay past visiting hours.”





Kagome said nothing.





“Can…” he started, his voice slightly shaky, “Do you think we can pick up where we left off?”





“You’re unbelievable!” she cried. “You’re married to my sister. Accept it.”





“What if I wasn’t?” Inuyasha said stubbornly, more like a retort than a question.





Kagome snorted. “You're going to divorce your wife just so you can take her brain-damaged sister out on a date?”





“I know you’re not brain-damaged. And yeah.”





Kagome sighed, wishing she had insisted on not going out. “You don't even know me anymore, Inuyasha, and I definitely don't know you.”





He began to drive, knowing the direction of Sango’s apartment without even asking her. She wondered how long he had been spying on her before the incident at the club. Great, her ex was married to her sister and he was psycho, too. The rest of the ride was silent, with him glancing at her every time traffic allowed and even when it didn’t and her determinedly ignoring him.





Before the car rolled to a stop, she was out, practically jogging to Sango’s door. It opened just as her fist rose to knock, and Sango appeared, wide-eyed and in pajamas.





“Oh my god, she just came back! Yes. Thank you. Sorry. Thank you. Yes. Good bye.” She hung up the phone and flung it aside, holding her arms out and beckoning the girl inside. “Oh hell, Kagome, I called the police and everything. You just disappeared on me! How did you—“





Her gaze switched from Kagome’s face to something behind her, and she shoved Kagome further into the apartment. She turned around just in time to see a livid Sango straight up punch Inuyasha in the neck.





“You fucker!” she screeched, her arm getting ready for another blow. “I remember you. I’m never going to forgive you for what you did to my best friend, you goddamn bag of ass!”





Kagome tugged Sango back inside by her ponytail, slamming the door behind her before someone could connect the disturbance to them and call the police.





“Why’d you stop me from killing him?!” her friend questioned, still worked up. “And what the heck happened?”





“I just want to go to sleep,” Kagome said, dragging herself into the small room that Sango had set up for her. Without even taking off the dress, she lowered herself onto the air mattress and cried herself to sleep as quietly as she could, even though it made her throat hurt and made her feel even sorrier for herself, grateful when Sango just tiptoed to bed without checking on her.