Forsaken Memories

Chapter Three…

Kagome returned to her apartment late that night. The light on the answering machine was flashing, but she ignored it. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She didn’t want to see anyone. She just wanted…to be.

Sitting down in her living room, Kagome’s eyes swept across the piles of dream books she acquired over the years. None of them had ever helped her understand the strangeness that followed her, but she couldn’t bear to get rid of them, either. Why that was, she couldn’t say. She’d never been much to hang on to the old, to cling to past.

Tomorrow was Friday and she did not have to work. What would she do with herself? Usually she spent the day at the shrine, helping Jiji with work and in the shop. The idea of returning there, of returning to the feelings that had arisen in her, turned the image sour in her mind, though, and this pissed Kagome off. She couldn’t help but lay the blame of all that was occurring with her on the shoulders of the man in black. She felt foolish for getting angry with a figment of her overactive imagination, but the anger was there nonetheless. Who did he think he was? Controlling her life, her way of thought, and her body? Not any more, Kagome thought to herself. Invading the shrine, her sanctuary, was the last infringement she would take.

Jumping up from her couch, Kagome hit the message button on her answering machine. She was not surprised to hear Ayumi’s voice, wanting her to go out with her tomorrow evening. Kagome immediately picked up her phone and dialed Ayumi’s cell. Ayumi was a night owl by nature and a partier by choice. She was never home unless she had to be. Thankfully for her, Ayumi worked as a promotions officer for an up and coming music company, a job which favored her choice of lifestyle. “Hey, Ayumi! It’s Kagome.”

“Higurashi!” Ayumi replied. Kagome could hear laughter in the background and knew Ayumi was out and about somewhere. More than likely she was entertaining clients.

“Just wanted to let you know I’m on for tomorrow night. And this girl is going to dress to kill.”

Ayumi gave a shout of victory that was returned by whoever she was with in their drunken stupors. “We’re going to paint the town, Kags. Bring the men to their knees and have them drooling at our feet.”

“As long as they don’t ruin my shoes, I don’t care.”

Kagome hung with Ayumi and then took herself to bed. Her dreams that night remained blissfully normal, by everyone else’s standards, and she woke late the next morning feeling refreshed and renewed. She jumped out of bed, dressing for the day. When she was done, she collected all of her dream books and placed them in a box by the door. On her way to the shrine today, to keep her standing tradition with Jiji despite anything else, she would drop them all off at a donation site. Going out tonight with Ayami would be step one in taking back her life. Step two would be to erase the constant reminders of her strange dreams.

*FM*

Kagome walked into her apartment, sighing to herself. The day had been harder than she’d thought it be, the prickling feeling following her everywhere she went. Thankfully the animosity, the evil, she’d felt before had not been present.

But now that was over, that was the past…

Fixing herself some ramen to eat, Kagome ate while standing in her closet, looking over the clothes there. She’d never been one to dress flashy; preferring the quiet and calm to the standout. Finally, in the far back corner of her closet, Kagome located the red corset Ayumi had insisted she buy herself long ago. Kagome had purchased it, feeling bold and daring at the time, and then never worn it again. Pulling the corset out along with a black leather skirt, she set her clothing aside and finished eating. When she was done, she showered, enjoying the heat of the water as it washed away the grime from her day’s work at the shrine.

Wrapped in a towel, Kagome fished out her make-up from the drawer she’d all but abandoned it in. She hardly ever wore it, even to work, and looking over it now, Kagome wondered if she shouldn’t just throw it all away. Who was it that had told her to get new make-up every six months? Oh well. She’d make due.

Throwing some music on her CD player, Kagome dried her hair and slipped on the corset and black skirt. She looked herself over in the full length mirror in her room and could only think that she was all boobs and legs. Ayumi would be pleased. When she slipped on the thigh high black boots, the outfit would be complete. Now if only her face would follow….

Going to her bathroom, Kagome looked herself over the mirror there. What she saw was not what she felt. There, before her, was a young woman; confident in her youth, body, and mind. Feeling as if she were grasping straws, Kagome took her make-up in hand and began applying it to her face. When she was done, she stepped back and looked herself over. The woman who looked back at her was not a woman she knew. In fact, Kagome was certain the man in black would be furious if he saw her this way. Why she knew that did not bug her as much as the fact it, for some reason, mattered to her

Pushing aside the thoughts, Kagome checked the time. Ayumi would be there at any moment. Despite her hectic, party till dawn lifestyle, Ayumi had always been there for her friends and always been there right when she said she’d be. Deciding against any jewelry, thinking it might distract from her appearance, Kagome finished up her hair just as Ayumi knocked on her door.

*FM*

Stumbling with Ayumi into her apartment, Kagome flipped the light switch on. Holding onto Ayumi with one hand, she maneuvered them both into her apartment and shut the front door behind them. Flipping the locks, as was habit, she led Ayumi over to the couch and they both plopped down onto it.

After a minute, finally feeling uncomfortable with herself, Kagome struggled to take off her boots, tossing them to the floor as she did. Ayumi was stretched out on the couch, her face covered with a wide grin. “We…we haven’t partied like that in a long time, Kags.”

Smiling to her friend, Kagome had to agree. They’d hit more places than she could recall that night; dancing and drinking as they went. In the end, they’d taken a cab back to her place as both of them were too drunk to care, too drunk to drive. Kagome could not even recall how many numbers had been tossed her way that evening, how many men’s hands had been on her body as she’d let herself go to the music and the alcohol. At the time it had felt liberating, freeing. Now? She wasn’t so sure. For some reason, she felt dirty.

Standing up, bracing herself on the couch, she stumbled back to her bedroom and grabbed the covers off her bed for Ayumi. By the time she managed to return to the living room, Ayumi was almost passed out on the couch. Kagome managed to somehow throw the covers over her friend and went back to her bedroom, undressing as she went. The skirt went first. Followed shortly by the corset.

As she stripped, Kagome felt as if she were wiping away the grimy hands of the men who’d touched her as she danced and tried to push away the memories that haunted her. By the time she reached her bed, she was naked. Gloriously so, in her nakedness.

Falling upon her bed, Kagome breathed in the scent of the sheets; familiar and reminding her of home. She sighed deeply, closing her eyes and regretting her actions this evening. They’d been impulsive and there would be hell to pay tomorrow, she knew.

Rolling onto her back, Kagome stared up at the ceiling above. The tiles there were swimming, melding and forming their own patterns. She closed her eyes to ease her stomach. Jiji always said alcohol was the downfall of man, the cesspit of humanity, and Kagome was finally beginning to understand where he was coming from. Despite the numerous times she had gotten drunk with her friends, there was something different about this time. Why she couldn’t pinpoint, or was too drunk to, but she didn’t care right then. All she wanted was sleep…

*FM*

Kagome looked around herself.

Trees, bushes, forest floor. Yes, she was back in the forest. But there was no trail before her, no path to guide her to her destination.

She stumbled and realized she wasn’t dressed as she normally was in these dreams. No. She was wearing the same outfit she’d worn when she’d gone out with Ayumi. The high heels of her thigh high boots were not meant for trudging through a forest. The heels kept sinking down into the earth and slowing her steps, tripping her.

Ignoring the sinking sensations that swelled up within her, Kagome pressed onward, unable to deny the desire to move forward. Her hands became scratched from the branches she moved out of her way, but she didn’t care. The smell of her blood, the tang of it, filled the air around her.

Eyes watched her progress. Dark and hidden, red and furious, they followed her movements. Kagome tried to shield herself from their animosity, their hate, but it was a lost cause. As in every other dream, she was but a pawn…

When it seemed that she would be swallowed in the sea of trees as they tightened around her, they broke and Kagome stumbled forward into the clearing she was so intimate with. The only thing wrong was that the man in black was not there.

Moving to the center of the clearing, where he normally stood, Kagome stopped and looked around her. Shadows threatening from the sidelines stayed away from her here and the moon washed down upon her. Turning her head towards the heavens, Kagome eyed the crescent moon with disdain. “You call me here,” she said to the silence around her. “You call me here and do not even have the decency to show?!”

Suddenly she found herself pressed to the ground. The smell of the land, rich with decay and life, filled her. It took Kagome a moment to realize the axis of her world had changed, the smells and sight different from before. “Bitch,” his familiar voice sounded from above her. His voice was harsher than any time before, Maliciousness filled it. His tone was cruel, meaning to be, and she knew he was displeased with her.

His clawed hand was wrapped around her throat. He was pressing, squeezing. The rest of her body seemed void of movement as her lungs tried to grasp the air. Kagome tried to stop him, tried to move, but it seemed impossible. Overcome with a sense of impurity, she tried to shield her barely clad body from his form.

Suddenly she was upright with his very male body pressed against her backside. The hand around her throat was still present; a very real threat. “Bitch,” he uttered again, his voice vibrating against her the skin of her throat. “You are mine.”

Kagome became aware of many things at once; the feel of him behind her, the scent of him surrounding her, the feel of his claws against her skin. His aura was pressing upon her, demanding submission again. The smell of her own blood hung heavily in the air and she closed her eyes against the sensations. “No,” she managed somehow to whisper.

She was spun around, her back pressed against the rough bark of a tree. Opening her eyes, Kagome looked into the faceless, hooded man in black. Only his eyes showed and they were colder than she had seen them ever before. He was angry with her. Angry with her for going out with Ayumi, for letting others touch her body. “No!” Kagome shouted back at him, defiance filling her.

He would not win. Not this time.

All of the sudden, he stilled. She could still feel his eyes boring into her, but the anger there had faded. Instead she knew he wore a cocky smile and she could feel his eyes sliding over her figure. It wasn’t like the other times he’d looked at her. No. This time there was lust there. Desire. Wanting.

And it scared the shit out of her…

The man in black leaned forward. She could feel him sniffing against her skin. He was sorting out the scents of her body; delving beyond those of the men who’d touched her this evening. When he pulled away, his aura told her he seemed vaguely pleased by something. Whatever that something was, Kagome knew she wouldn’t be pleased by it. “My little miko,” he cooed, his voice suddenly light and playful despite seconds before being harsh and cruel. “Long have I waited for this day…”

His voice died out, taken away either by the environment or by her own mind. Kagome squeezed her eyes shut, but she could still see his other hand. The hand not holding her against the tree was up, claws glistening in the moonlight. “No,” she uttered again as those claws came towards her.

The fabric of her corset split easily before him; falling away to nothing and baring herself to him. “My little bitch,” he said again, leaning towards her. “You are ready for me. To take me. To make yourself mine. Finally.”

Kagome opened her eyes, looking into the face of the dark figure before her. Her body and mind were overwhelmed. Both wanted to have this happen yet both were fighting against it at the same time. “No,” she said again, her voice strong and steady.

His aura became a weight against her as his hand moved towards her exposed breasts…

*FM*

Kagome shot to with a scream. It took her a moment to recognize the blurry form of Ayumi, standing there swaying drunkenly. “Kags,” Ayumi whispered again. “You were dreaming…”

“Dreaming?”

“Yeah, I could hear you yelling from your living room.”

Kagome laid back against her pillows. A breath escaped her lips. “Dreaming?”

“Yeah,” Ayumi said as she crawled into bed next to her and settled herself. “You know, your bed is really comfortable.”

“It better be,” Kagome answered as she yawned. “I definitely paid enough for it.”

*FM*

a/n: Thank you for reviewing. Though I'm not sure how to reply to them on this site, each one makes me smile and you know my mind is thinking of what I'd like to say back to you. A special note to scarletwitchextreme; I LOVE YOU! Every time you review, my ego swells all the more.

LC