eMate dot com

Chapter 3: The Profile



Alright, if he had to be perfectly honest, he logged off, logged on, logged off and logged on again about five times by this point. Just when he had clicked that very first message that was supposedly for him (who knew what his psychotic father said he was like), he instantly closed out of the window, too afraid to read its contents.



He felt like he might have a heart attack at the ripe old age of twenty-one!; there was absolutely no way his heart wouldn’t explode from how fast it seemed to be pumping. Aaarrgghh! Why was he acting so scared! Whatever was in there had already been written and seen, obviously, and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.



Inuyasha sighed, deciding it best that he check out the damage his father had caused just by putting up his profile, pretending to be him...



Clicking on the My Profile button, Inuyasha was instantly transferred to the version of his profile that everyone else saw when browsing partners on eMate[dot]com.

 

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Username: osuwariX_x (What the hell is up with this name?! Why’d the old man choose this of all names?! Inuyasha wondered, grumbling as his eyes traveled down his profile.)

Quote me: “I may look tough, but really, my furry puppy ears give away my true nature! I’m all bark and no bite!” (Inuyasha blinked before he saw red. I’m going to kill him!! He’s so fucking dead! Keh! the half demon fumed, fire still burning strongly in his sunshine eyes in anticipation of his father’s inevitable demise.)



Active within 1 day

21 years old

Tokyo, Kanto Region, Japan

Seeking partners from 18 to 30

Within 20 miles of Tokyo, Kanto Region

Japan



THE SKINNY

Relationships: Never married (Never ever if I’m lucky! Marriage is too slippery and I ain’t paying for any wench and her more than likely expensive tastes! the hanyou concluded mentally.)

Have kids: None (Thank god.)

Want kids: Someday (Yeah, right. I’ve heard the stories; your kids always end up like your parents. No way in hell do I want any spawn of mine turning out like my old man! Inuyasha thought with finality; one of his father was enough.)

Ethnicity: Japanese

Race/Specie: hanyou- half ningen, half inu.

Body type: slender, athletic

Height: 180.34 cms/ 5’11”

Religion: Spiritual but not religious

Smoke: No way (Anyone that picks that shit up and does it around anyone else should burn in hell, he thought fiercely and with no remorse.)

Drink: Social drinker, maybe one or two (Damn straight a drink or two! Inuyasha smirked, continuing on with his reading.)



IN MY OWN WORDS

For fun: I like being outdoors, so sports, although I’m not very good at them, are definitely a big part of my life. I especially have a passion for Kendo and the fighting way of the Samurai from the Feudal Era. I also love hiking, taking trips on my motorcycle and figuring out the mysteries of life! (Gay, gay, gay! Thanks a lot, Dad, now I’m totally sending out gay beams of HELL to all the people that were unfortunate enough to have looked at this!)



My job: Let’s keep this a bit of a mystery, shall we? (Ah, com’on, Dad! There’s no way in fucking hell I’d ever say, “shall we?!” Gah! I sound like some gayass bishie from some overrated cartoon for god’s sake! Granted... I don't have a job so maybe that was the best thing to say... ugh. Is sponger of your father a profession?)



My education: High school graduate; currently enrolled in university (One year left! And I'll be a graduated, C-average, ex-student with no job... Great. What an accomplishment, the hanyou bemoaned to himself.)



Favorite hot spots: The Hookah Bar, Steel Fang (restaurant), my place (Well, if I didn’t sound like a desperate pervert earlier, I do now... Inuyasha thought forlornly, almost falling off his chair and calling it a night before his eyes skimmed down further of their own accord.)



Favorite things: Swords, food, motorcycles, reading, running around and jumping and stuff (Sadly enough, the last two are true... having ADHD can suck sometimes, Inuyasha sighed scrolling down, foot tapping absently against a chair leg).



Last read: Across the Nightingale Floor by Lian Hearn (Come to think of it, I need to finish the fifth book of that series... the hanyou absently thought, eyes still traveling down his ‘Life on the Web.’)



ABOUT ME

Hair: Silver white

Eyes: Gold

Best feature: My smile (What the fuck?! My smile! MY SMILE?! That’s what he said was my best feature!? Inuyasha freaked out, arms flailing in front of the computer screen.)

Body art: Yes; Strategically placed tattoo

Sports and Exercise: Kendo, Karate, running, hiking, rock climbing, rock falling, soccer etc. (Ah, com’on! I fell off the damn boulder once, and he’s gotta put ‘rock falling?!’ How embarrassing! Inuyasha groaned, feeling his cheeks heat up regardless of no one else’s presence.)

Exercise habits: Three to five times a week

Daily diet: Meat and potatoes, keeping it healthy

Interests: Food, nature, bikes, swords, Kendo, traveling etc.

Education: High school, university

Occupation: Part time student (Heh. In other words, “I’m bumming off my dad until he kicks me out or I get an insanely great paying job that I can stand for more than half a shift.”)

Income: N/A

Languages: Japanese, and a little English (Ugh, I really hate English. Everyone should learn Japanese as far as I’m concerned; English is such a crap language, Inuyasha frowned.)

Politics: N/A (I hate politics. All they do is whine and attack their opponents like little kids, it’s pathetic.)

Chinese Sign: Dog (Why do I have a feeling the people that come across my profile are laughing at me by this point? Hell, I'm pretty sure my dad's been laughing at me since I was born that year. The jerk.)

My place: Bachelor’s suite (At least the old man didn’t say I lived with my parent still... Inuyasha thought dryly.)

Pets I have: None (Unless you count my psychotic father, the hanyou mused.)

Pets I like: Any (No fucking way! I don’t like pets! Those things are too messy, too loud and too stinky! Besides, I have my father don’t I? Isn’t that enough of a freaking pet!? He acts like it, the bastard... Inuyasha grumbled, moving on to the next section of his profile.)



ABOUT MY DATE

Hair: Any

Eyes: Any

Height: Any (What the fuck? Any! I don’t want a chick that’s taller than me! Let alone one that’s the size of a small kid!)

Body type: Athletic, toned, slender (Let’s not forget a nice ass, and long legs! the salivating half demon added mentally.)

Languages: Japanese, English

Ethnicity: Any

Race/Specie: Any (Any my ass, I don’t want no stinkin’ cat demon! Inuyasha grumbled to himself, scrolling down a bit more to see what other crap answers his father made up for his desired ‘dream date’.)

Faith: Religious, spiritual, any

Education: High school, university, graduate, any

Job: Any

Income: N/A (Huh. Not applicable? Come on, Dad! Are you seriously trying to make me out as a guy that doesn’t care about that shit? Okay, fine, I don’t, but that’s totally not the point!)

Smoke: Absolutely not (Yeah, that’s right, no way in hell I’m kissing some fucking ashtray, no matter how big her boobs are!)

Drink: Occasionally (Inuyasha laughed. Yes, a little drink, a little woozy, a little wine and dine, baby!)

Relationships: Prefer never married (Ugh, I so don’t need the emotional baggage of a divorcee, thanks, I can hardly deal with my own shit as it is.)

Have kids: None

Want kids: Any



Turn-ons: Sense of humor, loyalty, family oriented, a bit of mystery, interest in sword play (Both kinds! Inuyasha snickered to himself.), knowledge, music lover, appreciator of good food, romantic at heart... (Geez, Dad, you forgot: hot, sexy, great body, good vocal chords and long legs!! Oh, let’s not forget the earlier mentioned nice ass! the hanyou grinned, feeling a little hot and bothered.)



Turn-offs: Egocentric, money-hungry, smoker... (What?! That’s it!? Stupid old geezer! I sound like I’ll take anyone! Argh! I’m no perv who’ll stand for anything, ya know! Inuyasha raged.)



Email osuwariX_x today!

 

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Huh. Well, aside from a few small areas, Inuyasha’s father really had made him fairly accurate on this site... Hmm. Now maybe he should take a look at the stats of his page before moving on to the actual messages he had...

 

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Total Profile Views: 3,465

Profile Hits Today: 137



Online users that have frequently looked at your profile:

-(user invisible) (Invisible? Weird... Maybe just a mod making sure I’m no creeper.)

-DCfan_kik (DC?... Oh! DC! Must be a fan of that rock group, Dead Corpse! They rock! Inuyasha mused.)

-jewelseeker2

-headbandfurrrocious (Headband ferocious? Inuyasha laughed at the ridiculous name.)

-Slyerchik

-<3lesswind_01 (Heartless huh? Doesn’t sound too promising... So she must have big tits! Inuyasha frowned then brightened again.)

-whtwoof-flwr



Users that have messaged/winked at you:

-DCfan_kik

-jewelseeker2

-whtwooflwr



Users that have saved you as a possibility

-(user invisible)

-jewelseeker2

-DCfan_kik

-headbandfurrrocious

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“Huh. I wonder who the hell made themselves ‘invisible’... Oh well, not like I’m interested in checking out their profile anyway if they’re too scared to even show me who they are,” Inuyasha mumbled to himself, sighing in defeat at what was to come.



Great, now the next step was to actually read the messages he had received... Ooh, he was so looking forward to this part.



Not.



As the half-demon sat back, having already mentally prepared himself the whatever was to come from the files he was about to open, the failed to realize a couple things that his profile was lacking in information.



The first was that there was no picture of him anywhere on his profile page. The second?



InuTaishou hadn’t specified a sexual preference for his son. On purpose.



 

~ * ~

Chapter end.



Author’s Note: Dundundun! Err. Well, I hope that wasn’t too hard to read. If you didn’t get it, basically the italics that are in parenthesis are Inuyasha’s thoughts as he reads through his profile. As for the “users that check out his profile and messaged him,” can you guess who belongs to what username? Oh, and I know next to nothing of how prefectures, wards etc work in Japan, so I’m very sorry if I’m completely wrong in the region of main Tokyo.