In Heat

Chapter 3

Foolishness

Kagome sat on the ledge of the front porch of the little hut she called a house where she and her friends were staying. Her palms were pressed down with her fingers wrapped around the edge, and her feet dangling she peered up into the sky. It was still dark but she could hear a few villagers getting up and getting ready to start preparations for the new day. Her watch didn’t work in the Feudal time but she guessed it must have been 5 AM or so. She sighed heavily. Her heart heavy with sorrow and the anxiety caused by the things she needs to accomplish before going back to her time – for good. She heard soft footsteps looming in behind her, but still, her head was tilted towards the sky.

Sango took a seat next to her friend on the front porch wondering what she was doing up so early. Or had she even slept at all? Kagome turned to face her friend and without saying anything, she leaned her head on Sango’s shoulder.

Sango caressed her friend’s back, soothing her with the palm of her hand. Feminine instincts let her know that Kagome needed to be comforted. And without needing to ask, she already knew that it had to do with matters of the heart. She smiled thinking how funny it was that she just knew.

“I’ll miss you Sango.” Kagome broke the silence between them.

“Huh?” Sango raised an eyebrow. Kagome returned to her time every now and again, but she always came back to be with them, even after Naraku had been defeated. This time though, she would tell her friend good-bye for the last time.

“Please take care of yourself and the others for me.” Kagome continued.

“Kagome…I…” Sango started, but Kagome gave her a tight hug and got up to her feet. She looked down at Sango and gave her a melancholy smile. She looked out to the field seeing the red image approaching, getting bigger. Sango followed her gaze almost crying at the loss of a good friend. Kagome left Sango to go confront the figure approaching the house.

She knew he had been looking for her. Worried sick most likely, but he would never admit it. She smiled and shook her head. Always acting so tough! She thought silently.

As she approached him she watches his face turn from relief to irritation. His nose scrunched and twitching, she knew that he had caught the scent of Sesshoumaru on her; and she can see the anger and confusion slowly sweep across his face.

This is going to be hard. She thought to herself and willed herself not to cry over it. She walked towards him, wearing a mask of the 'easy-going-always-cheerful-Kagome' facade.

He turned his back and started to walk away from her. He could see on her face what she was about to do. He'd gotten to know every one of the little expressions of her face too well. He wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Why? He questions angrily within. Of all people, of all demons, why him ??

Right then, he didn’t want to hear what she had to say to him. He didn’t want to hear her explanation. And especially he did not want to hear her say ‘good-bye’ as he could tell is her only intention.

“InuYasha! Wait please!” She cried out after him.

He did not want to, but his body acted of its own accord and brought his steps to a halt. He stood there, arms crossed over his chest, listening to the sounds of her footsteps getting closer and the stench, that god awful stench on her,in her!

He couldn’t seem to settle which was harder to believe. That Sesshoumaru had somehow succumbed to being with a human, he hated humans, yet he touched her, kissed her and laid with her. Anger rose inside of him, knowing that Sesshoumaru did it on purpose to get back at him because of their hatred for each other. Or, was it harder for him to believe that she was willing. He wanted to believe that she was raped, but despite Sesshoumaru being an asshole, he was no rapist. So with painful realization he knew that the woman he cared for, protected and was even willing to die for through all these years had willingly given herself to the older half-brother he hated so much.

“InuYasha.” She called out to him.

“Heh.” He scoffed and walked away from her.

“InuYasha, please…”

“Why are you here Kagome? Shouldn’t you be with him?” He spat. He could feel the jealousy, rage and strong feelings of belligerence aroused by her betrayal towards him, rising fast.

“I want to say good-bye.” She said softly, her voice lined with guilt and sadness.

“Whatever. Go to his castle if it pleases you. You didn’t need to say anything.” He bit. He clenched his fist around the tsuka* of his sword until his knuckles turned white.

“I’m going back to my time InuYasha. I wanted to let you know I’m sealing the well from the other side.” She informed him with regret.

He turned shocked and confused. Why she was returning to her time permanently?

She gave him a forced smile and let out an uncomfortable chuckle. “You don’t love me InuYasha. You never did. You cared for me because I was the closest thing that you could have to Kikyo.”

He’d never been hurt like this. He’d rather die, blasted into a thousand pieces than to stand here, listening to her as she bid him good bye reeking of his half-brother. His anger and confusion engulfed him over her wrong perceptions and assumptions of his feelings for her. He turned to face her; she watched the look on his face similar to that of a wounded animal. She felt a piercing pain go through her heart. What have I done? She questioned.

“Heh. You think Sesshoumaru loves you Kagome?” He retorted disgustingly.

I like to believe so. She thought. “No, he doesn’t InuYasha.” She chuckles uncomfortably again. “He doesn’t love me at all, but at least he doesn’t pretend to. And I’m okay with that. I just want you to know before I leave that I’ve always cared for you. And…” She reaches inside the little pocket on her kimono and pulls out the Sacred Jewel. She held it in her palm and extended it to him. His golden gaze moved slowly from her palm to her face. Pain and betrayal written on his face like she’d never seen before.

“Keep it.” He grumbled under his breath and ran off before she could even stop him.

He left her standing there devastated by the knowledge of the friendship she’d crushed because she’d fallen in love with his brother.

Perhaps it wouldn’t have been so hard for him, if it wasn’t his half-brother that she’d chosen over him.

You’re wrong about me Kagome. I’ve never loved Kikyo the way I loved you. Not even close. InuYasha thought as he ran away to deal with his pain alone.

Miroku for the first time wrapped his arm around Sango as she sobbed at the sight of the pair talking out in the field. Even from afar, they could see the desperation and hurt on InuYasha’s face. They weren’t demons and were not able to sniff her scent but they didn’t need to ask to know that she had gone to Sesshoumaru. Only something like that could make her come to such a decision to leave them all - an extended family that she’s spent more time with than her own. They loved her over the years and she them, now, they were loosing each other in the most painful way. Sango hoped and prayed that she would change her mind and come back to see them.

...

...

A quick ride from Kirara and she was at Kaede’s village in no time. Shippo received a kiss on the forehead while he was still sleeping. She knew she will never be able to say good-bye to the little guy if he was awake and crying. She knew it was a horrible way to say good-bye but she didn’t have time. She always hated good-byes and so she only did quick, brief farewells to everyone, pretending she’d be back soon, swallowing the large lump in her throat each time.

She walked slowly from the village to the Bone Eater’s Well. Looking up she caught a glimpse of him from afar.

Sesshoumaru.

Taking a deep breath she held her head high and approached him. He stood on the far side, the well in between them. She stopped for a second and soaked in the sight of him. His long silver hair swaying, his face showed anger and hatred, but when she looked into his golden eyes, she saw that they weren’t as soulless as he makes out to be. Letting out a breath from her anguish congested chest she continued to walk towards the well. She watched as his hand reached for his Tokijin.

She smiled.

He’s come to kill me, I see.

Her footsteps carried her slowly towards the well, his figure growing as she neared. Her heart throbbed loudly, she was sure he could hear the beating of it. But it wasn't because she was afraid of him, of the fact that he wanted to kill her. No, it was drumming loudly from disappointment and sorrow at his decision. Foolishly, she'd hoped that he'd come to gather her back into his arms, and tell her that 'everything would be fine' and that they would 'live happily ever after'. She really needed to stop reading those fairy tales and watching all those Disney cartoons. She chuckled mocking herself of her own ludicrous hopes.

She was but two feet or so from the well when he attacked her and his Tokijin met with a hard barrier. She’d been in Feudal Japan for a long time and as she had been harboring her miko powers she’d gotten much stronger over the years. He flipped backwards and like a feather he landed ever so gently on his feet, just as she’d seen him do so many times in battle before. Except this time, he was ‘battling’ her.

Glare for glare their eyes met again. Her eyes showed no fear. He despised the look in her eyes. The same set of eyes that always held him captive through the years. Watching her stand behind her barrier backing towards the well, he almost threw down his sword to lunge at her, grab hold of her and kiss her. He wanted to kiss her, taste her lips, caress her skin, and feel her again. Growling he pushed such preposterous thoughts away and grasped his Tokijin harder, he charged at her again.

If you so desire Sesshoumaru.

He charged at her again with his sword and as he was about to slash his Tokijin at her, something inside him shot like a flash of lightning, he pulled back at the last second but it was not soon enough. His sword met her right arm and sliced through her kimono sleeve, the tearing of her flesh as it met with his sword sent chills down his spine.

She stood, letting her left hand reach over to grab onto her open wound. She grimaced in pain and her eyes darted over to him. His fingers trembled and the sword fell out of his hand without support. It made a loud clang as it landed on the ground. He watched her grabbing onto her arm, his crimson regret seeping through her fingers. He sees the betrayal in her eyes and his heart rips into pieces.

Blood. The throb of blood rushing through slim delicate veins spilled through her fragile fingers. There was so much of it that the scent and sight made him dizzy. He couldn’t believe what he had just done. He tried to kill his mate, and she wanted him to kill her? Why? Human or not, she was his mate, he marked her and he just tried to kill her. What had he become? He bellowed out in anger and hopelessness. Regret fills his soul, and shivers coursed throughout his body, he rushed over to tend to her wound.

Yet, as he was about to reach her, she pushed herself off with the tips of her toes and fell backwards into the well. He watched at the fabric of her kimono ruffled and fluttered and the bright lavender glow shines through as she passed through.

“I love you, my Sesshoumaru.” He heard her whisper for the very last time.

Demonic hands reached in to try and catch her but it was too late. She’d disappeared through the other side and he was met with the burning static of a barrier that was meant to kill demons. He pushed in harder, hoping that with perseverance he’d be able to reach her somehow. The barrier crackled and burned him, ripping away pieces of his kimono and prickling his skin like it was on fire. Finally it threw him back and he collapsed on his knees shuddering in disbelief of his own action. Had he not pulled back or had he pulled back a moment later, she surely would have been killed.

How foolish this Sesshoumaru has been.

His thunderous cry of loosing his mate shook the trees and sent chills down the spines of the villagers near by.

Somewhere on a high tree, InuYasha heard the cry and scoffed. He too, had lost the woman he loved all these years because he had been too arrogant and ignorant to admit, to show her all the love he has for her. But now, she was gone forever. There was no getting her back.

He laughed mockingly at his half-brother. This time you are the one who acted rashly and foolishly Sesshoumaru.

...

*tsuka = handle.