Sex Ed
folder
InuYasha › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
1,913
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
InuYasha › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
1,913
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.
THE BEST: Trojan Twisted Pleasure!
(Harmony stares up at the title space)
Harmony: Huh. Yea, this one at first was "Her Pleasure" but that was back when Rika posted some of these. Now it's just me, so I changed it to "Twisted Pleasure" which I like better. Got any problems?
(Everyone shakes their heads)
Harmony: Good.
__________________________________________________________________________________
(Inuyasha, Miroku, Sesshomaru, Sango, Kikyo, Kagome, Jaken, Rin, Shippo, Koga, Ayame, Kagura, Kanna, Naraku, and Kohaku are all sitting in a classroom with rows of seats and a desk in the front, with a chalkboard behind it)
Rika: We have new students! Please welcome Kagura, Kanna, Ayame, Naraku, and Kohaku!! And we don’t own Inuyasha, so YOU CAN’T SUE US!! !! !!
Harmony: And I’m no longer in a crappy mood! Because guess what?!
Kagome: We’re back on?
Harmony: Well, that too, but... Shadow told me he loved me today!
Rika: (gasps) Are you for real?! And you didn’t even tell ME, your best friend?!
Harmony: I’m sorry, Rika-chan, but he wrote it in a note and said it was for MY eyes only-
Rika: Chan, that is SO wonderful!! I am SO happy for you!!
Harmony: Thank you so much, Rika!!
Inuyasha: Are we going to get to the teaching or not?
Harmony: Yeah, we are. Okay. (holds up a little, bright green square that says in big letters TROJAN TWISTED PLEASURE) Okay, guys, have ANY of you seen one of these.
(Kagome turned bright red as everyone else turned to look at her)
Kagome: WHAT?! OF COURSE I’ve seen them!! I live in the era that created them!! They have Trojan condom commercials playing every five freakin minutes on TV!!
Rika: Um, Kag-chan, no one said anything.
Kagome: Yea, but you were all looking at me!!
Harmony: So?
Inu: Yea, Kagome, so?
(Kagome turns bright red)
Kag: SIT BOY!!
(Inu kisses the dirt)
Harmony: Ah, isn’t that sweet!! Inu-chan’s making out with the ground!! Now UP BOY!!
(Inu kisses the ceiling)
Rika: Now that’s just sick. There are dead bugs up there and everything. Not to mention old spit wads and hardened bubble gum.
(Inu yells as he falls back down and kisses the teachers’ desk.)
Harmony: (smiles and claps her hands together) Oh, I missed this fic!!
Rika: C’mon, Chan let’s actually teach them about all this stuff, ok?
Harmony: Ok.
(Harmony turns to face the class again)
Harmony: THIS, ladies and gents, is a con-dom. You take it out of the wrapper like so, and-men, this goes for YOU!-you put it on your-
Rika: FRED!!
(Everyone stares at her. Harmony gives her a puzzled look)
Harmony: ‘Fred’?
Rika: Well, you were about to say the ‘P’ word, and I don’t think you can say that here!!
Harmony: Well, Jessie says it every time she screws up during practice, so why can’t I say it here?
Rika: Because it’s inappropriate!!
Harmony: PENIS PENIS PENIS!! (looks at Rika) Now say it with me.
Rika: (shakes her head) Nope. I think I’ll pass.
Harmony: SAY IT WITH ME!!
Rika: FINE!!
Harmony and Rika, together: Penis, penis, penis.
Harmony: (smiles) See, it wasn’t all that bad!
Rika: (turned bright red) So say you.
Harmony: Anyway... (sighs) Anyway, that’s what you do with it. Here I’ll demonstrate with a banana...
________________________________10 Minutes Later____________________________________
Harmony: Ok, the next thing we’re going to talk about IS...
Rika: MY AREA!! STD’s: What They Are, What They Do to Your Body, and How You Get Them!!
Kagura: Why isn’t Harmony teaching it?
Rika: Because it’s a smart person thing. And, no offense, Chan-
Harmony: None taken.
Rika: -Chan’s just not a very smart person!!
Harmony: Well, hey, at least I wasn’t the one who wanted to say ‘fred’ instead of-
Rika: OK!! Moving on now!!
(Harmony’s crosses her arms over her chest and glares at Rika)
Rika: Well, does anyone know what ‘STD’ stands for?
(Silence)
Rika: Well, it stands for ‘sex-u-all-y trans-mitted dis-ease.’ There are quite a few of them, such as-
Harmony: Rika, I think now the doctors are calling them “STI’s”. Sexually transmitted Infections.
Rika: OH WELL!! (glares at Harmony) Anyway, can anyone NAME an STD-
Harmony: AHEM!!
Rika: (groans) I mean, an STI?
(Crickets chirping)
Rika: Well, there are herpes, clamidia (A/N Neither one of us can spell, so PLEASE bear with us!!), HIV, Aids... Take your pick!! Any one of you can get ANY STD-
(Glare from Harmony)
Rika: Oh, who cares!! They’re basically all the same!! So leave me alone and let me teach!!
_________________________________________________________________________________
Rika: Well, today was kinda a bust-
Harmony: Actually, I thought we did pretty good.
Rika: You know, the only reason you think that is because you were the only one who taught anything!!
Harmony: Correction: ‘Who taught anything WORTHWHILE!!’
Rika: Fuck you!!
(All the characters gasp)
Harmony: (gasp) Rika!! Don’t you remember our most sacred of all rules?!
Rika: Yeah, yeah, well guess what? I don’t give a-
(Harmony jumps over and covers her mouth)
Harmony: Haha, Rika, real funny! She’s just kiddin, folks! Well, be sure to review, and we’ll be sure to teach more Sex Ed to our favorite Inuyasha characters!! Bye!!
Harmony: Huh. Yea, this one at first was "Her Pleasure" but that was back when Rika posted some of these. Now it's just me, so I changed it to "Twisted Pleasure" which I like better. Got any problems?
(Everyone shakes their heads)
Harmony: Good.
__________________________________________________________________________________
(Inuyasha, Miroku, Sesshomaru, Sango, Kikyo, Kagome, Jaken, Rin, Shippo, Koga, Ayame, Kagura, Kanna, Naraku, and Kohaku are all sitting in a classroom with rows of seats and a desk in the front, with a chalkboard behind it)
Rika: We have new students! Please welcome Kagura, Kanna, Ayame, Naraku, and Kohaku!! And we don’t own Inuyasha, so YOU CAN’T SUE US!! !! !!
Harmony: And I’m no longer in a crappy mood! Because guess what?!
Kagome: We’re back on?
Harmony: Well, that too, but... Shadow told me he loved me today!
Rika: (gasps) Are you for real?! And you didn’t even tell ME, your best friend?!
Harmony: I’m sorry, Rika-chan, but he wrote it in a note and said it was for MY eyes only-
Rika: Chan, that is SO wonderful!! I am SO happy for you!!
Harmony: Thank you so much, Rika!!
Inuyasha: Are we going to get to the teaching or not?
Harmony: Yeah, we are. Okay. (holds up a little, bright green square that says in big letters TROJAN TWISTED PLEASURE) Okay, guys, have ANY of you seen one of these.
(Kagome turned bright red as everyone else turned to look at her)
Kagome: WHAT?! OF COURSE I’ve seen them!! I live in the era that created them!! They have Trojan condom commercials playing every five freakin minutes on TV!!
Rika: Um, Kag-chan, no one said anything.
Kagome: Yea, but you were all looking at me!!
Harmony: So?
Inu: Yea, Kagome, so?
(Kagome turns bright red)
Kag: SIT BOY!!
(Inu kisses the dirt)
Harmony: Ah, isn’t that sweet!! Inu-chan’s making out with the ground!! Now UP BOY!!
(Inu kisses the ceiling)
Rika: Now that’s just sick. There are dead bugs up there and everything. Not to mention old spit wads and hardened bubble gum.
(Inu yells as he falls back down and kisses the teachers’ desk.)
Harmony: (smiles and claps her hands together) Oh, I missed this fic!!
Rika: C’mon, Chan let’s actually teach them about all this stuff, ok?
Harmony: Ok.
(Harmony turns to face the class again)
Harmony: THIS, ladies and gents, is a con-dom. You take it out of the wrapper like so, and-men, this goes for YOU!-you put it on your-
Rika: FRED!!
(Everyone stares at her. Harmony gives her a puzzled look)
Harmony: ‘Fred’?
Rika: Well, you were about to say the ‘P’ word, and I don’t think you can say that here!!
Harmony: Well, Jessie says it every time she screws up during practice, so why can’t I say it here?
Rika: Because it’s inappropriate!!
Harmony: PENIS PENIS PENIS!! (looks at Rika) Now say it with me.
Rika: (shakes her head) Nope. I think I’ll pass.
Harmony: SAY IT WITH ME!!
Rika: FINE!!
Harmony and Rika, together: Penis, penis, penis.
Harmony: (smiles) See, it wasn’t all that bad!
Rika: (turned bright red) So say you.
Harmony: Anyway... (sighs) Anyway, that’s what you do with it. Here I’ll demonstrate with a banana...
________________________________10 Minutes Later____________________________________
Harmony: Ok, the next thing we’re going to talk about IS...
Rika: MY AREA!! STD’s: What They Are, What They Do to Your Body, and How You Get Them!!
Kagura: Why isn’t Harmony teaching it?
Rika: Because it’s a smart person thing. And, no offense, Chan-
Harmony: None taken.
Rika: -Chan’s just not a very smart person!!
Harmony: Well, hey, at least I wasn’t the one who wanted to say ‘fred’ instead of-
Rika: OK!! Moving on now!!
(Harmony’s crosses her arms over her chest and glares at Rika)
Rika: Well, does anyone know what ‘STD’ stands for?
(Silence)
Rika: Well, it stands for ‘sex-u-all-y trans-mitted dis-ease.’ There are quite a few of them, such as-
Harmony: Rika, I think now the doctors are calling them “STI’s”. Sexually transmitted Infections.
Rika: OH WELL!! (glares at Harmony) Anyway, can anyone NAME an STD-
Harmony: AHEM!!
Rika: (groans) I mean, an STI?
(Crickets chirping)
Rika: Well, there are herpes, clamidia (A/N Neither one of us can spell, so PLEASE bear with us!!), HIV, Aids... Take your pick!! Any one of you can get ANY STD-
(Glare from Harmony)
Rika: Oh, who cares!! They’re basically all the same!! So leave me alone and let me teach!!
_________________________________________________________________________________
Rika: Well, today was kinda a bust-
Harmony: Actually, I thought we did pretty good.
Rika: You know, the only reason you think that is because you were the only one who taught anything!!
Harmony: Correction: ‘Who taught anything WORTHWHILE!!’
Rika: Fuck you!!
(All the characters gasp)
Harmony: (gasp) Rika!! Don’t you remember our most sacred of all rules?!
Rika: Yeah, yeah, well guess what? I don’t give a-
(Harmony jumps over and covers her mouth)
Harmony: Haha, Rika, real funny! She’s just kiddin, folks! Well, be sure to review, and we’ll be sure to teach more Sex Ed to our favorite Inuyasha characters!! Bye!!