What the Hell Does She Think She's Doing?

Summary: The cast of 'The Other Side of Kazaana,' an Inu/Miroku yaoi romance with Ronin as the antagonist, get together to discuss past and future events after Chapter 16.


Intermission from 'The Other Side of Kazaana'

“They all hate me, you know.” Ronin whispered to Inuyasha’s conscience, sighing in the dim light.

“You’re the villain, sweetie, they’re supposed to hate you.” Conscience murmured back. “But even they’ve gotta admit that you’re a really HOT villain.”

“Quiet!” Inuyasha barked with his mouth full, munching on popcorn.

“I don’t think the author’s going to let me have any fun with Miroku, when the time comes.” Ronin whispered even more faintly.

“I sure as hell hope not!” Miroku blurted, shamelessly eavesdropping.

“Will you shut up!!” Inuyasha yelled. “I’m trying to watch the movie here!!”

“Oh please, it’s Pirates of the Caribbean. You’ve seen it like twenty times!” Kagome said.

“It’s a good movie!”

“I think he just likes to ogle Capatin Jack.” Conscience murmured to a nodding Ronin.

“I do not!”

“Oh really? Why do you have a poster of him in your room, then?”

“Because he’s cool! Not because I have the damn hots for him or something, you…oh that’s just great, you made me miss my favorite scene! Dammit, who has the remote, I wanna rewind.”

“We’re not rewinding the movie just so you can watch that scene again.” Kagome said, surreptitiously sliding the remote between the couch cushions and her ass. “It’s gross.”

“It’s not gross, it’s funny!”

“It’s disgusting.” Sango said irritably. “There’s a fork in his eye, for goodness sake.”

“I know! That’s what makes it so damn funny! That sort of shit is comedy gold!”

“You are such a low-brow, Inuyasha.” Sesshoumaru said, rolling his eyes. He looked to his right and carefully stretched his arm out until it rested casually across Kagura’s shoulders.

She snorted and jabbed Sesshoumaru in the side with her elbow, glaring at him until he put his arm back at his side.

“I was simply stretching.” Sesshoumaru protested. “There was no need to physically attack me.”

“Stretching, my ass. You were making a move.” Kagura said, “And you suck at it, by the way. Where’d you learn that, junior high?”

Inuyasha paused in his search for the remote to laugh at Sesshoumaru’s red face. “Told you, geek boy. You’ll have to do a hell of a lot better than that to get into Kagura’s pants.”

Sesshoumaru’s face smoothed out. “Maybe I won’t have to do anything but wait.” He said calmly.

Kagura grit her teeth and kept her eyes on the movie as everyone else looked at Sesshoumaru.

“And what’s that supposed to mean? Kagura isn’t in this story.” Inuyasha said, annoyed.

“Not yet.” Sesshoumaru said. He smiled, and then turned to Kagura, leering a little. “Miroku and Inuyasha aren’t the only ones who have made a request of the author. I talked with her in a Star Gate chat room.”

“Ass.” Kagura muttered, refusing to look at him.

“Okay, now I KNOW you’re a geek. You’re so geeky you should be wearing Vulcan ears or something.” Inuyasha snorted. “Oops, too late, you already are!”

Sesshoumaru glared at him.

“You’re having discussions about Star Gate? STAR GATE?”

“It’s a good show.”

“Jack and Daniel are hot, too.” Ronin said, fanning himself ostentatiously.

It’s a Sci fi! You’re supposed to be watching fantasy and crap! And the author! What the hell is she doing looking at sci-fi! She’s supposed to be writing, the slacker!”

“Science fiction is a perfectly legitimate genre, Inuyasha. Although I wouldn’t expect a techno-phobe like yourself to be able to fully appreciate the nuances of a truly good science fiction show.”

“Nuances? There are no fucking nuances, you über-geek.”

“I don’t know why you’re even bothering to be insulting. We’re all aware that you’re just jealous you didn’t think about asking her yourself.” Sesshoumaru countered.

Miroku chuckled. “I know I am. You’re sneakier than I would have thought. We may have to have a talk, Sesshoumaru.”

“No, you don’t need to talk! And I’M not jealous!” Inuyasha yelled.

“I am.” Conscience said.

“Me, too.” Ronin piped up, his head in conscience’s lap as the other man hand fed him popcorn.

“Count me in.” Kouga said. Ayame punched him in the shoulder.

Kagome, Sango, and Kagura just gave them all a disgusted look.

“Guys really are pigs.” Kagome said.

“Dogs. I believe in this room, the operative word is ‘dogs’.” Miroku corrected, earning himself a shower of popcorn from four sets of feminine hands.

“Either way, I can’t believe you would stoop that low. You, of all people, asking the author for something just to get into a girl’s pants?” Kagome said, tsking.

“And really, how often is asking for sex going to work? You guys’ve already done it once. You think she’s actually going to do anything for you a second time around? Get real.” Sango muttered.

Kouga shared a look with Inuyasha and Miroku, and they turned to look at the women. Ronin and Conscience glanced at each other and then looked at Sesshoumaru.

“Worth a try!!” Inuyasha lunged over to the phone, grabbing the pad of paper lying next to it. Miroku and Kouga tried to grab it away. “Hey, get off, I get a turn first!” Inuyasha bitched.

“It’s mine! I haven’t gotten ANYTHING yet! I should get the first request!” Kouga snarled.

“YOU haven’t gotten anything? What about us?” Conscience wailed as he and Ronin hung off of Inuyasha’s arms trying to get him to let go of the paper.

“Give it to me!” Miroku yelled. “She likes me! I’ll ask for you!” The others stopped. Four pairs of eyes swung to look at him and there was a sudden flurry of motion as everyone assisted in handing over the paper. They huddled together, talking in low voices as the movie played behind them.

“They can be such juvenile assholes.” Sango muttered. Kagome and Ayame nodded.

“Well, they can just forget it.” Kagome said softly, and reached into her purse.

“What are you going to do?” Ayame asked.

“I’ve got the author on speed dial.” Kagome whispered. “Let’s just call and nip this in the bud. They’re forgetting she’s a girl. She’ll be on our side.”

“Why isn’t she on my side then?” Kagura whispered back, butting into the huddle.

Sango, Kagome, and Ayame looked at her like she was crazy. Ayame finally spoke. “Hon, giving you a sex scene with Sesshoumaru IS being on your side.”

Kagura blushed slightly and looked over her shoulder at Sesshoumaru, who had gone over to start arguing with Miroku and try to keep his name out of things.

She smiled and turned back to Kagome. “Can you just see if I can be on top?”

“No problem.” Kagome said, and pressed the button on her cell phone.