UnBound Memories

Chapter 3

I am sorry

Sesshomaru opened his mouth to answer, but found no words came. He only took the girl into his arms once again, not to comfort her, but to find comfort himself. She seemed to understand far better than Jaken, who looked frightened, not in his normal, spastic way. No, this time, it was a fear that showed his faith was shaken, his faith that Lord Sesshomaru was at all times beyond pain and emotion.

“I am sorry to frighten you. All of you.” Sesshomaru had meant these words to settle the fraying nerves of his makeshift pack, but as soon as they were uttered, he regretted it. He, in an effort to make them feel more confident in him had apologized, uttered three words never heard leaving his mouth in succession, “I am sorry.” Now, even Rin tensed, afraid.

What the hell had Naraku done? How could he make the most powerful demon who walked the face of the planet clutch for comfort to a twelve-year-old girl?

“What a touching moment,” a voice said. Sesshomaru searched in the direction of the voice, looking for one of Naraku’s incarnations, but as he moved his head, he saw only a bunch of human bandits. They were nothing, easy to defeat. So why did the sight of them make his heart rise to his throat? Still, weak as he was at the moment, any frailty was overridden by the need to protect Rin, as he stood and clutched her tightly to his chest. For a moment, he thought about having Jaken dispatch with these annoying humans, but decided that having to ask him for help would only reaffirm the small demon’s fears.

Sesshomaru lowered Rin to the ground. With two arms, this wouldn’t have been necessary, he thought to himself momentarily. He turned to the bandits. “You have to the count of three to flee.”

“From you?” one bandit asked, with what could only be described as great boldness and great stupidity.

“You have until the count of three,” Sesshomaru repeated, lowering his hand, allowing the energy whip to dangle from his fingertips for a moment. “One… Two… Three…” Some darted off, while Sesshomaru only offered those who remained a devilish smirk as he raised his hand, anger not directed at the humans in particular making the whip much more powerful as it sliced through the bandits who remained, disintegrating their bodies on contact.

For less than a second, he debated as to whether or not he ought to go after the bandits who had been wise enough to run off, almost instantly deciding that they deserved to die as well, particularly as he still had some misplaced aggression he needed to rid himself of. He managed two steps before he fell face first on the ground, unconscious before he even hit the dirt and unable to even catch himself.

**********

Sesshomaru knocked on the door to his father’s bedchambers, rapping just loud enough it could be heard from within, but knowing that it wouldn’t wake his stepmother if she were asleep.

“Come in, Prince.” Izayoi and Sesshomaru had debated for some time as to what she should call him. He had known her much of her life, and in terms of age, she was nearly three hundred years younger than him, though in maturity, they were practically equals, with her swiftly surpassing him. Nothing had really seemed appropriate, so in order to show she respected his place as her husband’s heir, Prince had worked well enough.

Sesshomaru poked a white head inside the door. “How are you feeling today?”

“Better.” She waved him inside with a frail-looking hand. This was the second baby she had lost since she and his father had married in a human ceremony over a year and a half before. What it was doing to her physically was obvious, but what it was doing to her mentally, Sesshomaru could only guess. He moved to a seat beside her, wanting to talk to her as he had once been able to before she became his stepmother. “Sesshomaru,” she said, taking his clawed hand in her tiny human one. “What is it?”

His amber eyes met her brown. “I cannot come to check on the health of my second mother?”

She squeezed his hand. “You can, and you are always welcome to, but I know that look on your face. You are avoidin a subject.” She gently rubbed his hand and looked at his somewhat sheepish expression. “You are in love.” The young inu bowed his head. He was over three hundred years old, but still a young adult by demon standards. Sesshomaru looked up at his stepmother, trying to show her his sincerity.

“That is my problem. I fear when I make the announcement to you and Father, you may very well disown me.” He folded his hands on his lap, part of him afraid to make eye contact. “I am in love with a human.”

“And you are worried your father will be expecting a fully demon heir to the throne.”

Sesshomaru nodded.

“Your father would not care, and I could never be upset with that, you know that. It would make us both horrible hypocrites if we were anything but supportive.”

Again, he nodded. “But the human that seems to hold my heart is not a woman.”

He didn’t raise his head, but moved his eyes to Izayoi’s face, able to watch her eyebrows rise. She reached down to his folded hands and held onto them as best she could without hurting herself. “Look at me, Prince.” Sesshomaru tilted his head upwards. “I am still trying to adjust to the many rules of demon society, and though there are a great many in the human culture, I known there are none in the demon world preventing two males from joining together as mates. I think your father will accept it all in time, maybe at once with no difficulty at all. I do believe that your greatest obstacle will be this man’s family. Humans are not easy to accept differences, and what you are proposing is a rather large one.”

***************

Inuyasha and his friends were looking at a familiar village and mansion, debating on whether to ask for a night’s stay or sleep outside the village gates. InuYasha, thinking only of a nice warm bed was joined with Sango in insisting they should ask to stay. Miroku was adamant he would not stay there, less than willing to explain his reasons, which to the other two seemed irrational. Kagome looked as though she wanted to “sit” InuYasha for being so insensitive toward Miroku. Of course he didn’t want to stay in the village, though she couldn’t get the baka hanyou to understand.

“It is Kuranosuke’s village,” Kagome explained in a whisper to InuYasha.

“I know,” he hissed back. “That is exactly why I want to stay there. He is still so in love with Sango, he’s bound to give us the best rooms in his mansion.”

“InuYasha, how do you think Miroku will—” Kagome was cut off by yet another scream of pain coming fron the distance. InuYasha’s ears laid back as he grabbed Kagome and pushed her up on his back.

“You all,” he said to the rest of his group, “follow me on Kirara.” The three ran to the transforming Nekomata, leaping on her back. InuYasha took off at a dizzying pace, with Kagome holding onto his shoulders for her life. “I hate that noise,” InuYasha muttered to himself as he ran. “It makes me do things I regret.”

Kagome could not remember InuYasha running so quickly before, though his footing remained sure and his grip firm. “InuYasha, is it Sesshomaru again?”

“Yes.” He paused. “I think so.”

“You aren’t sure?”

“It sounds like him, but the scent I’m getting isn’t right.” InuYasha and Kagome reached the clearing where they could see Ah-Un, Jaken, and Rin hovering uncertainly over something on the ground.

The scent lingering was Sesshomaru’s, though it had become so altered that whether or not InuYasha wanted to admit it, he would have run to his brother had he only detected that scent.

The hanyou placed Kagome on the ground and slowly approached, ears twitching at the sound of whimpers from the ground.

He moved slowly, knowing the owner of that voice, even if he had never heard it make such noises, hardly believing himself that it was capable of them. InuYasha was moving less than quietly, getting the attention of the toad, who whirled around and faced his lord’s brother, two-headed staff ready for battle.

“InuYasha, you half-breed,” he said. “Stay where you are. You will not take the lord’s condition to your advantage.”

“InuYasha? Lord Sesshomaru’s brother?” Rin asked, darting her eyes away from the figure at her feet for just a moment. “Do you know what has happened? Rin is very worried.” Her eyes once again fell on the white ball below.

InuYasha moved forward, ignoring Jaken’s threats. Purposely, he didn’t even address the puny demon, looking only at his older brother, now curled tightly into fetal position on the grass, face somewhat dirty from his fall.

“Naraku attacked him somehow, putting his hand on Sesshomaru’s head,” InuYasha said absently, not really addressing anyone.

“Like Kohaku,” Rin said, not taking her eyes off of her lord again. Though if she had, she might have seen the pain that the mention of Kohaku brought to Sango’s face. “Whenever Naraku did something with Kohaku’s memories, he would put a hand on his head.”

“So he took away Lord Sesshomaru’s memory?” Jaken asked, lowering the staff, then muttering quietly to himself, “That would explain the strange behavior.”

“Kohaku said it only hurt when the memories were returned. The worse the memories, the worse the pain.”

InuYasha looked down at Sesshomaru who looked so fragile, holding his head with his only hand, drawing his knees up to his body, sobs and whimpers shaking his chest. What the hell could have been so horrible to do this to the normally strong inu?

“We need to get him out of the open,” InuYasha said.

“What do you mean we?” Jaken asked.

“I mean, I saved him from Naraku, and I’m going to take him somewhere safe.” InuYasha looked over his shoulder at his friends, all of whom, even Kirara appeared quite shocked. “Sango, do you think Kuranosuke would make a place for him at his mansion if I guarantee to take him out if he tries anything?”

“This is what you call making sure he is safe?” Jaken asked. “I would just as well take the lord to a wolf’s den and let them take care of him.”

“Listen you little wart,” InuYasha said, turning back to his brother and scooping him once again into his arms, angry that this was becoming routine. “He needs to be somewhere that demons eager to overthrow him won’t attack him while he's like this. How many in the western lands do you think would gladly kill him as he is now, unable to fight? There is a mansion and village near here owned by a friend of Sango’s. If he will take us all in for the night, Sesshomaru will have all of us stand guard instead of the dragon, the girl, and you and your staff.” Jaken paused for a moment, considering the hanyou’s suggestions.

“No,” a sob escaped from Sesshomaru. “Please, no.” InuYasha shifted his brother in his arms, trying to make sure this wasn’t a response to his suggestion, though the addition of "please" seemed strange. InuYasha doubted that word was in his brother's vocabulary. He could now see by Sesshomaru’s face he was still quite asleep and protesting to some monster that lurked in his mind. The rest of the group drew closer to the two inus.

“He’s still asleep,” InuYasha said to the rest, finding Jaken, Rin and Miroku had gotten close enough to actually see the lord’s face from the angle InuYasha was holding him. “And he’s crying.” Rin stood on her toes to look better at Sesshomaru’s face.

“They’re pink,” she said, not realizing the implications of it.

“That is blood,” Miroku said, placing hand on her shoulder.

“You mean that filthy hanyou Naraku raped Lord Sesshomaru?” Jaken asked. “I will kill him myself.”

“They are not red,” Miroku said, his thumb rubbing Rin’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort the girl, as none there were sure if she yet knew what it meant to be raped. “They are pink. That means they come from an old wound to his spirit. One he has been unable to forgive. I do not know who it was, but it happened many years ago.”

Instinctively, almost trying to protect the older demon, InuYasha held Sesshomaru closer and looked to the motley crew of humans and demons around him, finding himself at a complete loss.