A Dream Come True

Disclaimer - I don’t own or in any way control any of the characters. That’s all. Remember reviews are much appreciated…I’m kinda one of those people who need positive reinforcement if I’m going to go anywhere. Also, thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed either here or on my other stories. You all are wonderful.
Warnings - Warning of rape in this chapter and another lemon.
Thoughts - I’m sorry, I didn't want to put a rape scene in but if I didn't it wouldn't make sense later in the plot. Trust me, I tried desperately to find a way around it-or even just have her knocked unconscious but she has to be awake... If you don't want to read it however, I said where it starts and stops so you all should be fine.

Translation Box:

Dokkasu - Sesshomaru’s poison claw attack

Sumire – Violets (In Japan, different flowers have different meanings. A “language” of sorts. The sumire, or “Violet” as we know it, says “Please love me” in the flower language. I thought it fitting from a somewhat sardonic point of view since, well…just read and see...I’m sorry but I do ramble!

Tancho-zuru – Red-crowned crane (The red-crowned crane is an important symbol I Japan and represents long life, fidelity, happiness, and peace. It’s body is mostly white while its head is "crowned" in bright red. Its bill is greenish yellow in color and has an area of black feathers extending from part of the wings up the throat and onto the back of the head. This adds a beautiful contrast I have to say… Anyway, ‘tancho’ equals the Chinese characters meaning ‘red’ and ‘summit’ which indicates the ‘crown’ on their head.)

Yuwakashi – teakettle (teapot)

Soba – Thin brown noodles made from buckwheat flour. They can be eaten hot or cold which I thought was kinda cool. They are flavored with shoyu and topped with vegetables and tempura. If soba is eaten on December 31st, it is said that you will live life well in the new year!

Sazanka – The Japanese name for the ‘Sasanqua’ flower which in flower language means reliance and modesty.

Ohashi – Japanese chopsticks

Ocha – green tea (It is the most popular tea in Japan. There are two kinds, ‘sencha’ which is standard green tea (which I what Kagome drinks) and ‘gyokuro’ which is superior green tea.)

Misu – Miss

Nana korobi ya oki. - Fall down seven times, get up eight. or
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Yunomi – Cup with no handles (used to drink tea with).

Tsume – Claws

Sarumawashi – Street performers with trained monkeys

Watashi – I or I am

Kariudo – Hunter

Me wa kuchihodo ni mono o iu – The eyes are the gateway to the soul

Roundhouse kick – (for those of us who aren’t aware of different moves and how they work…) A ‘roundhouse kick’ (also known as ‘Round Kick’ or ‘Turning kick’) is a kick in which the attacker swings his or her leg in a circular motion, striking with the front of the leg or foot. This type of kick is utilized in many different martial arts and is popular in both non-contact and full-contact martial arts competitions. Variations exist for low, medium and high height.

Chihaya - The traditional costume or dress of a miko. It consists of a scarlet red hakama, either pants or a skirt; a white kimono shirt with swinging sleeves (and oftentimes red trim). They wear ‘tabi’ which are wooden clogs, and usually wear hair ribbons and ornaments.

Yumi – Japanese Longbow used by miko’s
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Stricken to earth, the sword snapped in his hand,
Shield cast away, down-beaten to the knee,
He sees the foes he made above him stand-
Now he has only Me.


The towers are fallen; at his feet they lie
Wrecks of the hopes that now he will not see,
Naked unto the blast, Death drawing nigh-
Now he has only Me.


But he has Me. The last illusions fade,
The trumpet sounds no more, and man, set free
From tyranny of dreams his pride his made,
At last has only Me.


For many loves he now has only one,
His many gods before the tempest flee,
His light is dying, and his day is done,
But he at last has Me.
~Edward Shillito (Poem “I Am The Last”)


Flashback: Twelve Months Earlier


“Kikyo…?” It was a whisper but it held enough emotion to fill an ocean. Silence greeted her voice. Looking down, she saw Inuyasha’s head snuggled against her neck, his hands still on her hips where he had brought her closer to him.


“What do you…?”


She felt as if she had been jabbed in the gut with an ice pick. Her blood seemed to stop flowing as his words from seconds ago rang through her head. No…it just couldn’t be…they had just-just-


‘We just made love and he calls out Kikyo’s name…?’


“Inuyasha, why?” She couldn’t make herself let him go, couldn’t move, and couldn’t have done anything if it had meant her life at that moment. He had just done the one thing that she had never thought he of all people would do.


He had just destroyed her.


“Hummm…what?” He grumbled as he rolled to the side, his hands releasing her hips as he did. He didn’t even bother to open his eyes and she could only find herself staring at him. Unable to do anything else. Faintly, she wondered what was wrong…why wasn’t she angry? Screaming? Anything? Why was she only able to-


“I…I just heard you…”


Tears finally began clouding her vision but her body seemed to be made of stone, an unknown pressure clamping down on her chest. Unaware of what she was doing, she watched his mouth open, and heard his words as if they had been screamed into her ear this time instead of whispered.


“What is it Kikyo?”


And finally, the floodgates opened. Opened and poured out a torment of raw emotion she had not thought she had.


“You bastard…” She said with a growl, her limbs finally coming to life as his words started to connect within her brain. It was then that one of his eyes opened followed by the other.


“Wait, your not-” He said disbelievingly. He watched her nostrils expand and smelt danger; but then brushed it away. This was Kagome. What could she do to him?


“You low down piece of shit!” She felt more then heard her voice rising but did nothing to stop it. It was as if she was detached from her body yet could see everything going on around her. But everything was red. Red so dark it blocked out all other color and she felt a pressure behind her eyes as she found herself finally able to stand.


“What’s wrong with you? Something up?” He asked calmly as she stepped away from him in a way that reminded him of a bristling wolf.


She cursed him with a few choice words and he felt anger rise in him as he too, stood.


“Me? How dare you even think-” She was fuming, her jaw clenching as she said the words through gritted teeth.


He shrugged.


“I made a mistake, I’m sorry. There. Now come back here and calm down.” At first he thought his words had worked because she momentarily did not do or say anything. Then, very slowly, her eyes grew wide and her body became so stiff that it looked as if it had been carved from a wooden pole.


“No.” She said quietly.


His eyes narrowed at her refusal and he took a step towards her.


“Oh stop it Kagome it was an innocent mistake.” He said annoyed.


“Innocent? Ha! Innocent my ass!” She said almost hysterical.


And then she stepped forward and slapped him, the sound ringing off the trees around them.


She ignored it as well as the naked silence afterwards. She didn’t care.


Turning, she grabbed her clothes and quickly put them on as she began to stiffly march back through the trees towards the enchanted well that led back to her home.


How could he? He had just taken her virginity; the one thing that was the most important to her. With it gone, it took away her dreams and suddenly, the guilt began to drift within her. And next came the pain.


It started off lightly at first but by the time she had made it to the well five minutes later she felt as if she would rip in two. She would never get it back…ever. And now she didn’t have Inuyasha. Or had she ever had him? How, after all this time could he? That was all she could think over and over again.


How…and why?


Suddenly there was a small breeze and in surprise, she turned to feel something knock her over forcefully, as if thrown on her.


The breath was knocked from her as she fell on her stomach to the ground; her head smashed against it as well. Surprised, she didn’t automatically react as her brain felt like it had just taken on a blender and lost.


She groaned at the thought of maybe having a concussion. Then she heard the growl and quickly stood, only to find herself looking over her shoulder into reddish gold eyes. Her own eyes widened as she hazily tried to focus on the person above her.


“You shouldn’t run away from an angered animal.” She heard Inuyasha growl and felt her arms being jerked above her head. Fuzzily, she noticed that he seemed different…more animal - like and tried to fight back, her anger coming to the surface only to pop like a soap bubble.


START-WARNING OF RAPE - SKIP IF NOT WANT TO READ


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“Inuyasha no-!”


“Shut up!”


“Iie! Get away from me! Someone hel-”


“I said shut up!”


His hand came out with lightning speed, slapping her across the face, and sending her body sprawling hard into the ground.


He was on top of her almost instantly; his hands clenching within the folds of her shirt and ripping it open to bare her breasts.


“Stupid fool! I’ve already had you! Cooperate or there will be more pain!” He snarled as his right hand jerked up her green uniform skirt and slashed away her white cotton underwear, his chest looming above her.


“Inuyasha please I-”She cried out on a sob as she tried to push him off of her, her hips bucking up to try and rid herself of him.


“Whore! Little slut! Those rumors are true aren’t they? You gave yourself to Koga! I’ll kill him for touching you!” He snarled as he fumbled with the tie of his pants.


Her eyes widened in terrified surprise. What was he talking about? He seemed totally different - where had this come from?


She screamed again to no avail and as she saw him rid himself of his hamaka, she turned her face away as if that would save her from what was to come. Her cries becoming nonexistent as she gave up hope, her aura going out to only a faint flicker as silent tear ran down her face.


He entered her hard and with no gentleness. His hands holding her hips and pushing her up against him as he rode himself into her.


Receding within herself, she wondered faintly what had happened. What had happened to the man she had loved? Was he gone from her? Could she ever reach him…again? Either way, she would not give him the satisfaction of knowing he had hurt her.


Her mind barely even realized Inuyasha’s increased speed. She felt no pain and refused to cry in his presence. When he finally exploded within her, she still did not move. She felt his body leave hers and heard him pulling on his cloths.


When he started to walk away from her, she let the first tear flow slowly down the side of her face. She was still looking away from him, and she suddenly sensed him stop and look back around at her, her broken body sprawled upon the dusty ground; cuts and bruises marring her perfect skin.


“You were a good time Kagome. Here; for your services.”


She heard a metallic clink and then felt something cold roll against her hand.


Then he was gone.


Sitting up gingerly, she didn’t even try to cover herself as she looked beside her.


There on the ground shinning in the dying shafts of sunlight, was a small yen piece.


Money.


He had treated her like a common whore…and nothing more then that.


Her numb fingers gently closed over the coin and shakily, she stood, her legs wobbly. Looking at the coin blankly, she looked towards the forests edge and with all the strength she had left, threw it as far away from her as she could.


A scream of emotional and physical pain filling the area around her as she collapsed to the ground, her battered body curling in on itself as she meekly tried to hide herself from everything else.


She felt her concentration fading, even as she finally realized what had just happened…and then she felt pain. And unable to take it, she felt blackness come over her.


END


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*****


When she came to, she couldn’t remember where she was and for an instant panicked before she remembered what had just transpired. Her eyes widened as the pain slowly cleared her mind, her eyes taking in her surroundings.


She was in the clearing where the well was, but it was over the top of the hill at the bottom and she couldn’t summon any strength within her body to move. All around her, wild sumire and violets grew up in thick groves, bee’s and different birds flitting back and forth either pollinating or eating the insects. The noises from them and the chirping of birds seemed like one hundred decibel screams to her ears.


And she felt something wet slide down from her thighs.


‘Oh my god…no…’ All she had to do was look down and see the blood and wetness that was there to realize what had happened.


“He…oh my god…” She tried not to think of the pain but every time she moved it speared through her and she cried out softly in response.


Then she knew true and unforgiving shame.


And anger.


“No…No!!! INUYASHA NO!!!!” She screamed, unable to stop the words that burst forth. At that moment she felt broken and weak. A shell of who she was. A victim and receiver of an unjust pain. She didn’t know when, all she knew was at some time…she had curled in on herself, barely noticeable among the forest debris.


She felt ashamed at the hot tears tumbling down her cheeks even as she tried desperately to block out everything, wanting nothing more then to lose herself in darkness and forget about Inuyasha and what he had just done to her.


But the ugly truth would not be denied.


He had raped her. And that could not be forgotten.


Ever.


She had been so sure that there was a chance for her…so sure that a wedding band would follow…but not now…never now.


*****


Flying overhead, Sesshomaru scouted the area for signs of his little brother.


Scanning the horizon, his eyes scanned the ground thought the thick foliage, flitting quickly over a pale something lying motionless on the ground. Seeing it, he slowly stopped midair, surprise univalent in his face.


‘It’s that woman.’ He realized coldly, glaring down at her still form.


One lesser then he might have thought her dead but Sesshomaru knew better. He could still hear her heartbeat.


Focusing his nose onto her, he smelt the ginger lilies and sandalwood that made up her scent. His sensitive nostrils twitched when he smelled a more salty scent, full of musk and coppery material. It was the smell of sex, of taken virginity, and distastefully he wrinkled his nose as if to block it out, even though he found the aroma interesting.


He turned his head slightly to the side to look out over the rest of his lands.


It was beneath him to lower himself to speak to her but then…maybe he could use her to his advantage. After all, the half-breed’s scent was all over her and while it made him want to gag, he knew that the smell could be washed away. Her condition only proved that the onna was his brother’s whore and kept around for that one purpose alone.


He sneered. She was damaged goods and nothing more. Pity. She had been fiery for a human.


He flexed his fingers in a bored manner as he looked around for his half-breed brother who was always with her. His sneer deepened when he did not see or smell him even after spreading his senses out for his brother’s aura. Honestly, why couldn’t Inuyasha ever make it easy for him? But then there was his wench; she was fair game since she was in his forest on his territory.


He smiled callously and began to close in on her.


*****


She felt suffocated, as if the world was closing in on her. All she had ever wanted was to fall in love and have that same man love her in return. Was that so much to ask for? She had asked to be loved…and thought that she was…thought that Inuyasha did love her…thought that he would never ever hurt her!


But she had been wrong.


She huddled further into herself and sniffed, shivering weakly against the sudden chill of spring air. Faintly, the smell of sumire floated towards her and she flinched. No one loved her…no one could it seemed. And it seemed so hopeless…so awkward and unfair and she wanted to scream - to cry, if only to make it better. But it wouldn’t make it better. And at that moment…in that one instant, as goose bumps began to rise upon her flesh, she felt hatred; a hatred that she had long forgotten when Inuyasha had killed Naraku. And it was ironic because a part of her did love him, because love wasn’t something that anyone could simply loose or forget about.


‘You will always love him whether you admit it on not…but then are you grief stricken from a broken heart? Or a broken friendship?’


She remembered his eyes, red and gold mixed together in a fiery oil painting that seemed to leer down at her, hands with sharp claws seemed to sink into her as he had-


Unable to stop herself, Kagome pitched forward into the wet soil and vomited, crying out in pain as she clutched her head, screaming like a wild animal. Her sobs threatened to tear her body apart, her senses seeming to go into overdrive as the scent of violets became almost nauseating. She wanted to destroy them - rip them all from the ground and tear them apart! Tear apart their mockery of her situation but she could not solve anything that way. As if to scold herself, her body shook violently, vicious tremors racing through her legs and stomach making them spasm wildly. She didn’t notice the shadow that suddenly fell over her.


She didn’t even realize anyone was around until something soft gently rubbed against her cheek.


Taken by surprise, she whipped her head around only to look up into the face that belonged to none other then Inuyasha’s older brother, lord of the Western Lands.


Sesshomaru.


‘No…not him…not the other brother…’


Again the smell of violets assaulted her nose and she fought the urge to gag, the only thing stopping her that even though she had lost her heart and soul…she had not lost her pride.


But then all she had ever had was a modicum of pride. The smallest, barest amount that rarely ever showed its face to the outside world.


At first, she just looked at him, her cheeks covered with tears, her eyes beseeching his. Her golden brown orbs staring at him the way a scared and lonely child would. He saw the pain and anger and disbelief all churning and boiling within her deep hazel eyes and felt a silent question form within his mind. It was the only thing that told her of his curiosity. He was too proud she knew, to ask such a thing of a lesser being.


“A lesser being…” She looked down slowly, her body hunched brokenly, as her fingers dug into the soft soil, her hair tumbling forth in a waterfall of mahogany, to drag in wild clumps on the ground.


She had gotten so sick of everyone saying that she had looked like Kikyo that she had gone home and gotten it dyed…and yet it still hadn’t mattered, Inuyasha had thought she was Kikyo. It made her stomach churn again, and she had to fight to hold back another wave of bile.


Now that he was feet from her, the smell was almost overpowering. Vile and loathsome, his eyes glanced at her lower back coming to rest at the dirt and semen that were still there, untouched, unable to ever be truly washed away. He saw the bloody holes and gashes along her ribs where sharp claws had scraped and clawed and he felt a deep pity for her at her appearance. Catching himself, he inwardly growled and looked at her in disgust, one of his perfect eyebrows arching up.


“What do you want Sesshomaru?”


She choked on the words, her body tightening as she curled closer in on herself in a meek manner of self defense.

She couldn’t defend herself against him. Why she even did this was only a tribute to her instinct.


“An answer for why you’re here.” He said unfeelingly.


“I can’t believe he-” She choked again, unable to answer him and unable to keep his gaze, she looked down, her chin pressed tightly against her collarbone. He didn’t say anything to her as she had expected, just continued to watch her with a mixture of incredulity and disgust.


His deadly claws rested at his sides, gently tapping against the grip of Tokijin.


“What of it?” He asked disinterestedly causing her to shy away from him. It was obvious that she thought his voice venomous. She made the mistake of uncurling slightly to look into his gold eyes and they responded by chilling her already cold body.

It was like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over her head and she drew back from him in fear, a whimper of it escaping before she could stop it.


“Right now I …I’m afraid of you. Is that what you want to hear? IS IT?!” She asked, biting her lip enough to draw blood.


“Do not speak to me like that. There is nothing to stop me from killing you.” He said acerbically, the acidy tone making her whimper once more.


For a few seconds there was no movement or sound from her fetal body. He saw the slight shivering of her shoulders and ribs indicating to him her fear, noticed the prominent goose bumps playing all over her skin, but that was all.


Or maybe it wasn’t. Something had stirred within him as he had neared her and he didn’t know what it was. Was it pity? Most likely. He was a killer but not a tyrant contrary to his brother’s belief. He felt his stomach tighten somewhat as a flash of Rin in this girls place flitted through his mind.


Was that what this was? He was linking the two?


Slightly unnerved, he spoke again, his tone more clipped then it had been before.


“Answer me.”


She swallowed hard, peeping out hesitantly to look at a beetle crawling in front of her.


“My greatest fear in life is not of dying…it is of being alone when I need someone near. It…is of never…never knowing what will happen next. And it has always been like that. But when I tell people, no one listens.” She whispered.


‘No one ever listens’


It was strange how after her words she felt different. As if a weight had been taken off of her and she was released from something she couldn’t even begin to describe only to realize what it was. Sesshomaru was listening. Not just because he had to, but because he wanted to. He could have left at any time…could have killed her just to make her stop talking…but he hadn’t…and somehow she knew he wasn’t.


‘He wont hurt me.’


She didn’t know how…all she knew was that at one moment she was on the ground, and the next she had launched herself into his sparkling white haori, her tears pouring in unrestrained sheets from her eyes as she clutched desperately at him.


Surprised, he was about to viciously tear her away but her soft whimper made him pause in mid action. Her hands clutched at him tighter; her face burying into his chest, his spicy masculine scent of musk filling her nostrils and calming her as his warm body heated her cold one. Somewhere in the darkest reaches of her mind, she could hear it screaming for her to stop, as her attempts were nothing but stupid and suicidal…but she couldn’t. The pain of death could not numb the pain of betrayal and abject terror of being alone that raged through her.


She heard him growl, his chest vibrating roughly from it but she only buried herself deeper against him, not asking anything more of him then that of what she had at that moment. She was afraid of him…she admitted it. He frightened and intimidated her more then anything she had ever encountered and she didn’t care if he noticed it. If nothing else, she was frightened at his lack of response…of action. He should be gloating over her terror, or even tearing her head off - and then melting it with his Dokkasu.


But he wasn’t.


“You aren’t cold you know…” Trembling, she could feel his arctic eyes upon her and turned her face to the side to look out at the forest. Out at the nothing she now had.


She really did have nothing now.


Her family was dead…grandpa, mama, killed in a car accident while she had been off finding jewel shards. Now, they were buried in the cemetery at the shrine and Sota, like her and unable to stay at home because of it had gone away to America to try and lessen the pain. He had written her a few months ago saying he wasn’t going to come back. She couldn’t stop him…he was seventeen. That was the age of a man. Her friends…ha. She hadn’t…couldn’t blame them for breaking away from her. After all…she never even gave them the time of day since she had the feudal era to go to…and Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and Kaede were getting older and-.


‘Inuyasha’


“I don’t think you are…you’re just better then the rest of us.” She weakened her grip on him, suddenly conscience of her state of undress and took a step away.


He felt himself tense again.


*Sesshomaru-sama is better then everyone! Ha ha!*


He gave her a dark scowl as Rin’s voice floated through his mind, his nose crinkling up slightly.


“I am better. I do not need a pathetic mortal to tell me so.” He said caustically, his fingers tapping against his sword handle harder.


She flinched slightly at his words, and wrapped her arms tightly around herself, looking down at the ground.


“Then why can’t you understand?” She whispered weakly, feeling new tears beginning to fall from her eyes.


Her words caught him off guard and she kneeled down in the ensuing silence, picking a violet and running her fingers across its smooth petals.


She looked at the flower, its purple petals almost black in the darkness.


“Perhaps.” His sudden words transient, he watched as she raised one delicate hand and brushed away her tears, as the other crushed the violet. In a sudden flash he was in front of her and she felt her arms being roughly grabbed so that she would not escape. Out of instinct and surprise, she began to fight back.


*****


She was foolish. Nothing more or less then that. She spoke too much and tried to understand that which she couldn’t. He felt the smallest twinge of anguish towards her ordeal but she had to learn to deal with it herself. It was not for him to even have to think about - let alone try and help her with. And yet…he wanted to. It was strange…he had never cared before about a human until he met Rin. Perhaps the child had mellowed his frozen composure…or maybe he was just - he stopped.


He had no idea what he was about to think but had a faint idea that it would not be something that would please him. Instead, he listened to her words…her words of not fearing death. He had never heard such a thing from a ningen. After all, their race feared any and every thing. But no…this girls words, they were heartfelt. The way, in which she had said them, he could sense that they were of the truth.


She was a curiosity, he would give her that. He listened as she claimed that she did not think him cold. An opinion that he should have killed her for, but his body didn’t move. He saw sadness float across her face but it was not sudden nor was it slow. It was gradual…as if she was fighting it consciously and yet didn’t know how to control it. And it had staid that way for a few moments until she had called him superior.


‘Better then everyone else…it is true I am, but to have someone - some lowly human, say so…her words seem unable to be spoken in lies. Impossible yes, but still an intrigue.’


He watched her as she picked the violet and stared at it, her eyes wide in the darkness. He could see her pupils dilating so as to take in more light and then - as quickly as she had started - she crushed it. It almost seemed uncalled for, but at the same time the gesture reminded him so much of himself. He saw beautiful things…wondrous things… demons, objects, creations of nature…but in the end he always destroyed them. Nothing was satisfying. Nothing seemed worth keeping…preserving. And it had continued to happen ever since he was a young demon.


He felt almost like he understood her.


He knew he had to quiet her…kill her, anything before she said more. So he appeared in front of her with his demon speed and grabbed her. He just hadn’t counted on her attacking him in return. He watched as she stopped in mid breath, her mouth opening in surprise at his sudden move and then she screamed, beginning to spit and claw at his spiked armor and haori in an attempt to escape from him.


“Cease!” Was his subjective voice as he released her arms.


She wobbled for a few seconds, surprised that he had let he go.


“I’ll never escape.” She whispered softly, giving another cry as her legs buckled under her and she fell, never bothering to break her fall as her head hit a rock and made everything go black.


For a second he just stood and stared at her, agitated at everything that had just transpired.


He should leave her here. Allow the forest demons to make quick work of her body and tear it apart.


But as he turned to do just that something stopped him. That violet…the way she had looked at it…as if it was a plea for help. It reminded him of when he was little and what he must have looked like when his mother died…and then his father, leaving him all alone in the world with nothing but the palace and an ensuing war to keep him company. Gone then were the games of a child. Then was when he had crushed his own kind of violet. His hope for happiness and peace. Her heart had been in her eyes and her eyes were soft and earnest.


Whatever had happened…whoever had done this to her was something even he could not abide by. The drasticness of the situation only left him one option, and he damned himself for it, but he knew he could not just leave her there.


In the last few minutes she had reminded him so much of Rin…and maybe that was why he was making the exception for the little whore.


Or was she?


Growling at the entire episode, he turned back to her still form. Reaching down, he picked her up bridal style, mentally swiping away her wonderful scent as it swirled around him. His hard eyes briefly glanced over her face, now peaceful from sleeps saccharine kiss.


“Foolish woman.”


With that, his large red cloud formed beneath his feet and he lifted off the ground, his body soaring through the air to his castle. Out of habit, his eyes scanned around him as he flew, his features unreadable as he mentally noted different landmarks and scents. But those were for tomorrow.


Today he had been forced to deal with this.


‘Why not just drop her?’ An immoral voice in his head whispered.


‘Why not just drop her and forget anything that has happened?’


Normally he just would have…not that it would get to this point anyway, but for some reason this girl…gah, he didn’t know. The only thing he did know was that his instincts were telling him that she was *something*…he just wasn’t sure yet of what.

THREE NIGHTS LATER: CASTLE OF THE WESTERN AXIS LANDS

RULER: SESSHOMARU

She had been going back and forth between sleep and consciousness for three nights, and Sesshomaru had a servant watch her. At times, he himself would drop in and just observe the even rising and falling of her chest. He had grown impatient during times like now, when she was starting to awake but then make a small moaning noise and fall back asleep.


The reason for it however was clear.


‘She does not want to wake.’ He watched as her lips parted as if to say something in sleep but then closed.


His golden eyes narrowed, his right arm coming up to rest on the small bed stand beside her bed. Fluidly, he placed a small book upon it and watched as she turned over, her back facing him. Shaking his head, he rose and turned sharply, striding quietly to the door. His silver hair swished softly behind him as he did so, their spider-web strands fairly flying they were so weightless.


When he reached the door he reached out to slide it open but stopped as he heard her give a small intake of air. He knew she was once again starting to wake but didn’t count on her fully waking. He didn’t have anymore free time to spend waiting as he had been. He had more pressing business. Not bothering to turn, he opened the door and exited, an incoming servant sliding it closed for him.

‘I will forcibly wake her if she is not up before dawn.’ He thought unsympathetically, and with that he entered his study and sat down at his western style desk to do work.


*****


She knew Sesshomaru was watching her. He had been for several days now but she couldn’t bring herself to fully wake up. Waking up would mean talking, and that would mean crying. She knew it wasn’t right to keep wallowing in her own self pity but…right now she had to. She had never allowed herself a break and she knew that now was just that; a break. Granted she had only a faint idea of what was going on around her, but she knew somehow…instinctively that her time of slumber was becoming short lived. She had not eaten or drank anything in days and her body was sore from lying down for so long. She was normally very active and this loss of motion was beginning to agitate her. Soon she would have to leave her bed…but just not now.


Inuyasha was out there…and she was stuck with his painfully identical brother.


Turning her head to the side, she slowly opened her eyes and saw only a few lighted candles. A tancho-zuru demon who she assumed was a servant, was sitting patiently on its knees as it - a she by the looks of the long red hair and dark eyes - waited for her. At first she was not sure she wanted to wake up but then she looked over at the bed stand and saw a small bowl of soba with ohashi sitting neatly next to them. Beside that was a yuwakashi filled with what smelled like ocha. Her stomach growled loudly and she blushed when the servant looked at her.


“Gomen…” She said softly, embarrassment tingeing her words. The servant only quickly lowered her head without a sound. Kagome sighed and looked up at the ceiling finally taking in her surroundings.


She was in a western style bed that was much bigger then herself. She knew that because she could stretch out in all directions and not feel any of the edges. The color scheme didn’t much matter to her so she focused more on what materials she was laying on. It felt almost like silk but was rougher. Maybe cotton. No…couldn’t be because it was in the middle of summer…but cotton did breathe…


“Misu…” The soft voice said, shaking her out of her inspection. Turning her head towards the kneeling demon, she exhaled softly and tried to sit up. Her arms buckled under her and with a cry of surprise, she fell back the way she was, only this time with two cramped arms.


“Here…” The woman rubbed her forearms soothingly, working out the knots and thankfully, Kagome let her.

“I’m sorry…you haven’t been sitting there long…?” Kagome asked, her voice trailing off awkwardly. The servant shook her head slowly and Kagome smiled slightly in return; grimacing when she felt herself get suddenly dizzy. She could feel the black edges of sleep trying to invade her mind but fought them off.


She would not go back. It was finally time to leave.


‘I have to…for some reason that woman…the crane…she gives me strength with just her appearance. I have to sit up…that’s the first step…’


“Please…can I…?” Kagome tried to sit up again but couldn’t and fell back against the pillows. Instead of giving a verbal answer, the demon helped Kagome sit up by lifting her up to sit against the headboard.


“Nana korobi ya oki, neh?” The tancho-zuru said with a small smile. Kagome giggled in return and nodded. She rolled her shoulders up and down to get the crick out of her back and looked back at the youkai.


“Sesshomaru asked you to take care of me?” She asked, somewhat unsure of such a person doing that. The words seemed anything but true. It just seemed strange for Sesshomaru to take care of anybody…but then he had saved her and brought her here so maybe it was not so strange.


‘Well it is…but perhaps…’ Her thoughts were interrupted.


“Misu…Sesshomaru has yes. He also requested for me to take care of you after you had awoken. You are now awake, ne?” She asked with a chuckle. Kagome nodded slowly in return and tried stretching out one of her legs. To her relief and satisfaction it didn’t cramp up as she thought it would.


“You may leave your bed after you have eaten. My master was very certain about it.” She said softly as she poured her tea and gave her the chopsticks for her soba.


“Thank you…?” Kagome asked unsure of how to ask for her name. The woman smiled and bowed respectfully.


“My name…my name is Sazanka. Yours …?” Kagome looked down at her noodles and blushed.


“It’s …Kagome. My name’s Kagome…” She whispered as she tentatively lifted a small mouthful of soba to her lips. She felt weak and her limbs felt like jelly but she wanted…no she needed, to feed herself. She refused to be fed by another.


“Misfortunes never come alone it seems Misu Kagome.” Sazanka said unexpectedly, her soft words catching the girl off balance. Kagome looked at her is surprise.


“What makes you think that?”


“It…excuse me, I am too forward.” Sazanka said fearfully, lowering her head even more then it already was, her chin almost touching her chest.


Kagome looked back down at her noodles too weak to forgive her and say it was all ok. All her life she had said sorry. She had always been the one to apologize and say that everything was fine. She didn’t want to be nasty about it…but it really did bother her at times. Sighing, she reached out and gently laid her hand on the woman’s shoulder. She felt her jerk softly under the touch and squeezed reasurringly.


“Everything has its pros and cons.” She said quietly as she leaned back and began to eat more of her noodles. They were really good and as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she was famished. There was silence after that. A calm silence that was both comfortable and awkward at the same time.


Kagome chose to ignore the later part and continued to eat, every now and then reaching out to drink some of the luke warm tea.


When she was finally done, she put the bowl and yunomi back on the bedside table and leaned against the headboard once more to close her eyes.


“Would you like to sleep again Misu Kagome?” Sazanka asked quietly from her place on the floor. Kagome shook her head, wondering at first if the demon would see it or not.


She did.


“Actually I’d like to get out of this bed.” Kagome said as she tried to take the blankets off.


“As you wish, Kagome-misu.” Sazanka said as she stood up and helped Kagome hang her legs off the side of the bed.


Putting on a more determined look when she tried to stand and crumpled back onto the bed, Kagome tried once again with Sazanka’s help and found she could balance herself better.


“Is there a way for me to bathe?” Kagome asked as she stretched out her atrophied legs.


At least they felt atrophied.


She sighed at the pain coursing up and down them and focused more on Sazanka’s arms as they helped support her. The food was starting to help. Soon she would be able to focus her miko powers and help her concentrate her body. She never even realized that they had started walking until they stopped.


Jarred from her thoughts, she looked up and saw an opened door that led into a larger room.


Stepping inside clumsily, she saw a large square hole cut into the floor and the interior filled with cool clear water. On the outside of the square was one long shelf that encircled the rim. It was made of polished rock and held things like bars of soap and shampoo in easy reach for its occupants. Everything else was a blur as Sazanka helped her wash her hair while cleansed her body. By that time, she could walk around on her own - even though it was still very graceless. Yet she was thankful that she could move.


A few hours later after being gently coached by Sazanka to walk back and forth across the wooden floor until her movements were actually in sync, Kagome sat down on the floor and rested. She didn’t bother to walk back to her room. She was too tired and it was nice in here.


Idly, Kagome wondered what would happen next. The food was fully active within her and now she craved more of it. But even as her strength was returning, would she have enough to face Sesshomaru?


‘Yes. And he will listen.’ With that she fell asleep leaning against the wall, her legs tucked up underneath her.


*****


“Do not dare strike out at your superior!” Sesshomaru growled into her face, as he painfully tightened his hold on her arms, pinning them to her sides as his body pressed her snugly against the wall.


“Let me go!”


Yowling like an angry she-cat, she struggled to free herself only to find herself pressed even tighter against him. She felt herself growing warmer and warmer…almost choked from the tight contact and glared at him, her struggles finally ceasing.


At least for the moment.


Their faces only inches apart, they both felt each other’s breath as they glared at each other; his eyes golden chips of ice and her hazel ones blazing with fire. She figured that she was doing rather well, considering that she was half asleep, her body stiff and limp because of it.


She had woken up and realized she was in a bathroom of sorts, in a room too beautiful to have been hell. Sesshomaru of course was there and glaring at her, telling her in his own usage of words to get up. Dazed and tired upon waking, she had at first thought it was Inuyasha and had felt tears once more come to her eyes. When she had stared at him, he had appeared directly in front of her, grabbed her, and was now where they were presently.


Needless to say…it was not going well. Although it could have been worse.


“Sesshomaru I said let me go! I would have gotten up but I was half asleep still - can’t you understand that at least?” She asked, her body becoming still as she realized that he would only become more and more angry.


She knew he was angry that she was not in her room but at the same time, he had to have been satisfied that she had gotten up! She’d moved around as Sazanka had no doubt been instructed to have her do, and had even washed herself - so why was he so angry?


Unfazed by her sudden lack of fight, Sesshomaru held her in place.


“Do not test my patience or you will find yourself in a dark position.” He said dangerously, tightening his hold on her.


He saw her eyes narrow at the insult and glared even more at her. A few seconds later she seemed to realize what she was doing and looked away, her long hair hanging loose and wild around her shoulders.


Good, the little twit had finally gained some backbone, even if she was exceeding his patience. He had noticed during his regular spats with his half brother with both amusement and slight respite, that when she was angered she not only turned an enticing shade of vermilion but also had become herself, more then the weak human he had seen her as earlier. He had known that that was not who she was, and had given her time to cry. But enough was enough! He snarled again as she tried to break away and ended up tripping over his foot. At the contact her knees fell out from under her, forcing him to hold her up in his arms.


“I ought to teach you a lesson you little pain! Have you no sense in your pathetic human body?” He growled as his lethal tsume dug into her arms once more.


“Teach ME a lesson?” She asked, her voice thin as she looked up at him, one final tear sliding down her cheek and onto her soft lips. Unwillingly, Sesshomaru watched the tears descent and felt himself become distracted by it.


“You cry from something you yourself brought on from my half-brother.” Sesshomaru said exasperated, watching with some relief as her tears stopped.


The change was instantaneous; anger flared around her and he fought the urge to step away from her.


“You jackass! How dare you - get off of me!” She hissed at him, her legs kicking out at him.


“I am no donkey. Although you woman, are indeed something of a bitch.” Sesshomaru said darkly.


Gasping in anger, her unhappiness fled her altogether and was replaced with a wild fury.


Without warning, she wrenched one arm free and slapped him across the face making him snarl at her.


“You-you-you-you…!” Kagome yelled, twisting out of his grasp only to be knocked to the ground, Sesshomaru on top of her holding her hands down at her sides.


“Yes I!” He said, a hard edge in his voice. Struggling beneath him, she slammed all of her body weight up in an attempt to at least flip them over. Somehow, she did and she knew that didn’t please Sesshomaru.


“You stupid woman!” Sesshomaru scowled, fighting to keep her arms down as she tried clawing and scratching at his face. The move caused her to be jerked forward on top of him. He hissed at her, his eyes flashing as she continued to slash at his face and neck with her nails.


She felt herself weakening and gave a hiss of her own, groaning in frustration as she finally allowed him to hold her still, even in such a strange position.


“You-you-you-you stupid…man!” She shot back as she defiantly glared back at him.


“Insubordinate bitch.” He growled back, his hands tightening around her wrists.


For a moment they sat in outraged silence and then she sighed, becoming weary. Her and Inuyasha had always fought like this…and she didn’t feel like fighting anymore right now because of it.


“I hope you fall in love with a woman. It’s what you deserve you stupid demon.” She said after a hefty silence. He shifted in irritation.


“What are you rambling now?” He asked, his eyes growing arctic as he looked up at her. His grip had still not relaxed and he knew she was becoming annoyed with it.


“Oh will you just let me go now please? I promise not to fall asleep in strange places anymore!” She said softly, a note of pleading inserting itself into her voice while she tried this time to gently persuade her arms free.


“You will stop your foolishness?”


She nodded, looking away as she felt herself become more pliant.


“I always used to fight like that with Inuyasha…”


She looked at him again, her eyes saddening.


“Please…I don’t want to fight anymore with you.”


Unwilling to let her know she had caught him off guard with her sudden politeness, he held her for a few more seconds and then sighed.


“Agreed.” And with that he found himself letting her go. She blushed at him and rubbed her wrists as she climbed off of him. When she was off, she turned from him and began to walk out the door, surprising both of them when he did not stop her.


When she was gone, he remained where he was, his mind still. He hadn’t even left the floor yet.


“Insubordinate bitch.” And with that he too stood and exited.


This was not the end but he was too frustrated to get anywhere with her now. As it was he had only meant to wake her up and perhaps walk with her through the castle gardens.


Obviously it hadn’t turned out that way.

TWO WEEKS LATER: WESTERN AXIS LANDS

RULER: SESSHOMARU

‘She is brave; I’ll give the little fool that at least…’ He admitted to himself after a long session of physical sparring with her. For the last week, he and the new woman had been sparing with one another after he had offered to help train her. He had done it as something of an apology about their fight even though it galled him to no end. At first she had refused him anyway, but he pressed her into finally agreeing to a brief meditating session. She’d been very quiet ever since then, but after a while she became more willing to come up against him in battle. Their first fight he had allowed her much lenience, but did not fail to show her he was master to her. She had not called him on it.


This was their eleventh fight, a match of arrows vs. swords. Usually, it was more hand to hand or aura to aura, but today she had hesitantly asked him for a change. And he had complied to her request.


Afterwards, he had predictably won, yet at the same time she had surprisingly held her own very well against him. He had been taken aback by that but didn’t allow her to see it. It would not be good to have her know she could catch him off guard. Yet either way, she remained polite and hard working.


‘It is impressive what she has done with herself.’ He thought with interest, even if he knew it was, ultimately, because of him.


Quietly, he watched her polish her bow. He had given her a set of original chihaya’s for her dress in after she had turned down a set of kimono’s had offered. At first, he had been so disgusted with himself that he hadn’t just forced her to wear the kimonos that he would not look at her, but after a while, he began to notice how the scarlet lighted up her hair, how tiny her waist was when it was accentuated by the tight drawstring round her waist, the length of her legs as she walked, the billowing material emphasizing them as well yet hiding her shape. After a while, he had forced himself to admit that she looked at least a tiny bit attractive in them.


At first, when he had offered her the garments as an alternative, she had turned pale and would not take them either.


“I will not allow you to wear nothing.” He had told her monotonously. She had looked away from him, shifting back and forth upon her feet.


“I’m sorry…but it reminds me of…someone I once knew.”


“I don’t care.” He had replied back evenly, grasping her wrist and forcing the folded clothes into her hand. She’d looked away from them even as he had released her.


In the end she had, but at the price of balking whenever he saw her or just plain on edge.


Now at least, she seemed more at ease.


She had become more willing to do as he wanted her to after that, and that had been a week and a half ago after she had mastered moving once again. She’d begun honoring him in his presence, while at the same time displaying some flare every now and again that kept just barely distracted enough to pay attention. It was an interesting combination. As the days had passed, he had found himself becoming more and more intrigued by her habits, what made her happy, what made her sad, he had even allowed her free reign over his castle with the idea of letting her trust him more. As a result, he saw her less often then he admitted he would have liked, but when he did see her, walking around in her scarlet and white priestess uniform, her long bow and arrows sometimes slung over her shoulder, he had inquired about what he had been doing.


Currently, she had her long hair down and he couldn’t help but find himself sneaking short glances at it every now and again despite his irritation towards himself at it. Honestly…Finally, he just admitted to himself that she did have beautiful hair.


He still didn’t know what had possessed him to bring her back to his castle in the first place. In all respects, he should have just left her there…but he had realized now that as he had leaned over her in the forest, he had thought of the way she looked. Thought bloody and dirty he could only see her as the woman that he had always seen before. He realized now that it was because of that - the sight of her pitiful appearance - that he had brought her back. He could not bear to see strong things so broken. While she was a human, she could also be an exception. It had unconsciously taken over his senses and body, making him feel the hard tug of his demon blood crying out for her warmth and strength.


That in itself had been strange.


He had never reacted that way to a woman before and because of that, his mind was piqued just enough to allow her to stay one day after another.


She had done many things that no one had ever dared to try; for example slapping him across the face. He was amused to say the least, but was it because she had done it, or that he had not killed her for doing it? After all no one had dared to ever strike him before.


‘She has a passionate nature hidden within her that makes her seem unambiguous. It is like she has cleansed herself.’


He could feel his blood start to pump faster as he thought of their sparring. Surprisingly, he had not escaped unscathed and the ugly burn he had now was a reminder of it. He glanced at the spot on his forearm where she had turned his sleeve into charred silk. The burn however had healed hours ago. He fought a smile and turned to look at her once more. She was giving him some fun.


*You are a jackass!*


Her words echoed in his head, making him glance at her again. He watched her look up at him, giving him a faint smile even as she blushed and stood to put away her long bow. No one had ever insulted him before except his brother. But family didn’t count. They just did it instinctively. Automatically, and without conscious thought of it.


‘Perhaps I am. But she can be a bitch as well.’


One eyebrow quirked up at a sudden thought and he called out to her.


“Tennin.” He said loud enough for her to hear him.


It meant ‘angel’ in their language but it had a double meaning at least for the way he used it. While tennin was meant to be ‘angel from heaven’, for Kagome it meant ‘angel from hell’ which he had given her after she had burned him that morning. It was only a day old and already the name turned her into an irritated mess. He loved it. And as expected she stiffened and looked over her shoulder at him.


“Sarumawashi.” She said back. His amusement quickly faded into agitation at her comment and he saw her smile knowingly.


“You are more one then I am. Watashi no kariudo.” He said smugly.


Kagome had to swallow a giggle as she imagined a cartoon Sesshomaru puffing his chest out like a bird.


“Ha! Kariudo no saru!” Kagome said on a peal of laughter. He glared at her and sudden realized what he was doing.


‘I think I’m being what they call flirtatious…’


He stepped up to her as she turned and looked up at him.


He grabbed her arm.


“Perhaps you are a ‘tennin’ of female dogs?” He asked wickedly and this time it was her turn to scowl.


“You sir - are such a dog.” She said as she stuck her tongue out at him. The gesture surprised him and this time, she knew it.


“An opening.” She whispered wickedly as with one fluid move, her leg came up in a roundhouse kick, knocking him backwards against a row of swords. She grinned, for a moment unsure of how he would react - and then he did.


She felt a brush of cloth and he was standing behind her, Tokijin unsheathed and loosely drawn across her throat.


“Very good.” He whispered, his voice surprisingly husky. She smiled, her head tipping backwards to look up at him.


“I’m not done yet.” She said pleasantly up at him and then he gasped as he felt a pain in his stomach.


His grip on his sword loosened and she took the opportunity to break out of his grasp and land a powerful high kick into his neck. She thought she heard a soft crunch as he fell to the ground but ignored it as he was up in seconds. She wondered if he had even touched the ground and felt him sweep one of his long legs under her knees, knocking her onto her butt. Lurching forward, he tried to tackle her but she rolled to the side, locking her arms around his head in a headlock. He snarled and used his hands to rip her hands away, sending a rush of pain through them. Reacting quickly, she reached out to land an ax kick and felt him grab her foot before it connected. She saw his eyes flash at her and then felt her body spin wildly out of control as he took her leg and twisted it.


Landing on her back on the ground, she felt something against her neck and opened her eyes to see his booted foot pressing lightly against it. Her eyes widened as the smug look on his face at winning and she gave him a fake look of surrender. Nodding, he began to remove his foot and putting her hands palm down on the ground behind her, she used all of the strength in her arms and upper back to suddenly flip herself backwards, one of her feet catching Sesshomaru under the chin as it came up and through. He took a step backwards at the contact and sneered at her, grudging admiration in his eyes as she landed neatly on her feet and placed her hands together as she bowed mockingly at him.


When she looked up again she saw he was gone and sensed him directly behind her. She sighed and quickly turned to try and punch him in the chest but it was too late. His vice like grip encircled her arms and she felt them twisted behind her back as he turned her towards him. She struggled but this time could not get free and saw him give her a satisfied glare. Ignoring the pain in her legs and arms, she tried to concentrate her miko powers but found that her energy storage was nearly depleted.


“What is wrong tennin?” He fairly purred as he backed her against the same row of swords she had knocked him against.


“My energy stores are almost gone and my miko powers are trying to compensate for them.” She said sulkily. He gave her what could have been a modest grin and spoke.


“I win.” She stopped trying to concentrates and shrugged her suddenly aching shoulders in answer.


“Never.” She grumbled, her eyes widened at his close proximity but she didn’t back away.


“You will learn to.” He said as le leaned towards her. Her breathing stilled and she felt herself go perfectly still as realization set in.


Taking that second, he brought his lips down mildly upon hers, and to both of their surprise, her mouth opened, allowing him entrance into its hot depths. Her eyes widened as she felt the length of his tongue slid over hers and gagged, even as she felt the quivering of excitement begin to build in her thighs and stomach.

She didn’t know how to react then. For the second time she had no idea what to do. But this feeling…was this natural? Inuyasha had by no means ever made her feel such things. Gathering her scattered wits, she tried to scream but it was lost into his mouth and taking advantage of her loss of a physical weapon, his hands grasped her arms and pulled her supple body against him. Unable to stop, he buried his hands into her thick hair and bent her head back so that his mouth covered hers fully, its entirety gently but firmly molding him to her.


She tried to scream again but this time it was not from fright or anger.


She felt…good …


Growling, Sesshomaru forcibly pulled himself away from her but all she could do was stand there, her eyes still closed as she tried to catch her breath. He also, was finding it hard to breathe since his heart was beating a mile a minute.


That…that was not supposed to happen.


‘Or was it?’


“Wow…” He watched her eyes open and saw her run her finger tips over her puffed out lips.


“Not bad for a monkey trainer.” She said as she smiled modestly at him. He returned with the first smile she had ever seen him give and she once again found it hard to breath.


“Perhaps…but it was to be expected from a tennin.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and bowed respectfully to him before exiting the empty dojo.


“You better believe it dog boy.” She said over her shoulder, and with that she closed the door and was gone. He stared after her and left the right side of his mouth tip up slightly.

LATER THAT NIGHT : WESTERN AXIS LANDS

RULER: SESSHOMARU

They had finished dinner hours ago and yet she couldn’t sleep. The thought of Sesshomaru’s kiss was still fresh in her mind and she knew that she would not be able to forget it easily. Maybe they could…? She paused in mid thought and went to her window and opened it. She had been given a room usually reserved for a higher classed merchant. She was glad though. She did not need or want anything more. As it was the space was unbelievable!


She had taken a long bath earlier and had read for a few hours after that. Looking out, she knew it had to be close to one in the morning and yet she was wide awake. Once again the thought of going to Sesshomaru’s room entered her mind and she was surprised at her lack of modesty.


“I mean its Sesshomaru…’ She thought as she cocked her head to the side, her fingers tapping the window ledge.


‘I am no longer innocent…I cannot be hurt. I’m no longer…’ Suddenly, she heard her shoji screen slide silently open. Turning, she saw Sazanka enter and smiled at her.


“I think that I will be alright for the rest of the night…thank you Sazanka.” Kagome said with a smile. Sazanka nodded and bowed, her red hair swirling around her shoulders as she bowed herself back out of the screen door and closed it. Kagome smiled offhandedly. She had much to thank Sazanka for. She had taken good care of her.


Turning, she walked to her armoire and took out a long black silk robe. Putting it on, she padded softly to the screen and opened it. Reaching back to take a candle, Kagome then closed the screen and started to walk towards Sesshomaru’s room. It seemed like forever until she found it. When she did, she knocked softly and waited for him to answer. She took a step back when the screen suddenly jerked open and saw that he was as immaculate as ever. She wondered if that could be changed and smiled at the thought of a very much disheveled Sesshomaru.


When he saw that it was her, he simply stepped aside and let her enter.


She heard the screen close and suddenly felt deceptively soft hands come around her waist to the tie of her robe. She felt it loosen and helped him by shrugging out of it. Turning, she saw that he also wore a robe and reached up to slide it off of his shoulders. He growled as she did so, leaned forward to capture her lips. Sighing, she wrapped her arms around his neck and felt him lift her up and walk her over to his own western style bed. Placing her on it, he kissed her again until she had completely relaxed.


His arms roamed her body, cupping her breast only to slide down and trace across her ribs. She felt his thumb encircle her navel and leaned her head back to moan. He responded by kissing her neck, his teeth gently grazing the delicate skin. Her arms tightened fractionally as she felt one of his hands delve down between her thighs and stilled as his hand pushed against her. Sensing her sudden hesitation, Sesshomaru began to trace small butterfly kisses down along her neck to her collarbone and down to her left breast. Softly, he licked at her skin and she jerked, her arms becoming more taunt as her hands grasped at his hair. He licked her again, two of his claws slipping through too stroke and caress her gently. Her nerves began to become on edge, her body tightening like her yumi, as she began to move against him, her senses heightening with every movement.


*Let go…* The voice came unbidden to her and she opened her eyes in surprise at the gentle whisper.


“Sesshomaru…” She whispered back as her fingernails raked his back. He gave a sort cry and nipped at her other breast making her laugh out in pleasure.


He whispered sensual words to her, making her writhe and cry out feebly as they only acted to further build the pressure within her. She let out one long moan as the pent up power between her thighs seemed to burst, her body becoming still for all of a second before it convulsed, stars shooting through her head as her orgasm hit her swiftly but relatively smoothly. Her world at the same time shattering around her as she felt freer then she had felt in so long...longer then she could even remember. She felt like she was flying, and when she finally came down she was still in Sesshomaru’s arms.


Growling hotly, as he felt her release flow over his fingers, he was amazed at the velvetiness at which she had found her release and let her savor it as much as he was.


But then he wanted more.


Seizing her mouth once more, he wrapped his tongue around her own and growled when he felt her respond just as aggressively as he. Opening his mouth further, he took full control of her own and then broke away to lick and suckle on her ear and neck. She cried out weakly in reply, arching herself into him.


His face went into the arch of her neck as he snuffled softly, making her tilt her head to the side. He growled softly, his teeth nipping against her left earlobe in a playful gesture as he readied her body for his own.


He thrust himself slowly into her at first, careful to be as gentle as he could. He could smell her excitement and fear, and knew that while her body was undecided, her mind had willingly accepted this. He knew it was because of his brother that she felt so unsure of everything and felt her flinch softly from beneath him as if she had read his mind. He growled softly as he realized that he was still too much for her.

Her words came unbidden to him.

“I’m okay, I’m just…Inuyasha, he-” He heard her choke and whimpered softly, his lips nibbling a seductive trail across the side of her neck. Drawing her away from her pain and into his circle of pleasure.


He understood her words and at that moment wanted nothing more then to kill his half brother.


“He does not belong here…we are the only ones.” He whispered softly, his voice soft with desire. She nodded slightly and he suckled her neck softly as he thrust again.


This time she did not flinch but instead shivered in pleasure as his claws gently stroked the silky skin of her breast. And soon his thrusts came faster…harder, her whole body moving with him as he set their rhythm. He groaned, unable to help himself as he felt her silky warmth slid over and around him, welcoming him within her, urging him for more. Her soft mewls of pleasure drove him on to go faster and harder…his nails digging into the wooden floor as he concentrated fully on her own pleasure. And then, he threw his head back to groan his pleasure as he poured himself within her, his body tightening as he allowed himself his first sexual release. He could feel her walls still sliding over him, could feel the way she felt as he coated her with his essence. And it did something to him. It made him, for the first time in his life feel completely at peace with himself and everything around him.


Collapsing on top of her, he rolled onto his side in order not to crush her with his weight. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he held her close to him and sighed with satisfaction as her eyes fluttered open to look dazedly around them. His nose buried itself in her hair and he inhaled deeply, putting the memory of her sweet smelling hair within storage in the back of his mind.


“What…” She couldn’t seem to finish her sentence and unwilling to come back to the present just yet, he kissed the corner of her mouth. He smiled at the desired effect as she turned towards him to let his mouth take over hers once more.


She felt so good…she felt so innocent…and yet he knew she wasn’t. It nagged him to feel such things towards a girl he had known for only a couple short weeks…


Then it hit him. He had just taken her. He had taken a human.


His body became cold at the thought, disgust and what could have passed as humility pouring over him like cold water as he stared down at her. What in all the hells had possessed him to-? But the damage was done. He could not undo it no matter what.


She cried out as she felt him forcibly push her away from him. Since she had been resting near the edge, she fell off and collapsed to the floor. She heard him swear and watched as he stood, his silver hair flowing out all around him as he paced back and forth across the floor. Afraid of what he might decide to do, memories of Inuyasha began to flood back and she wrapped her arms around herself in a pitiful act of defense as soon as her body hit the ground a few feet away from him.


“Damn all of it!” He sneered to himself, as he punched the stone wall to the left of him. A small hole appeared when he removed his fist and she gulped, drawing away from him even more.


He looked over at her, her tousled brown hair; her puffy lips and porcelain skin. Curiosity had always been his downfall. And here it came, in a rush as he looked down at her shaking form. Her pathetic appearance made guilt flicker through him as he remembered finding her in the forest. But damn it all…that didn’t explain what had just happened or-


“What exactly did my brother do to you? I want to hear it from your mouth.” He asked in nothing more then a soft growl, the danger behind it not lost on her.


She whimpered and curled in on herself, her actions rubbing off on him that she thought he was going to hit her.


“I will not hurt you. Now get up.” The words were gentler then before but still held a knife-like edge that only served to make her curl further in on herself.


“Damn you, answer me!” Appearing before her on his knees, he roughly grabbed her head with his clawed hands, still slightly damp with sweat. He heard her gasp in alarm and closed his eyes as her fear sunk into him, arousing the inner demon inside of him.


‘She told me in her own way that my brother had already had her. And the way she had reacted when - no I will not go back to that. The point is what happened to her? What isn’t she telling me?’


“Stay still!” He said sharply as his fingers slid over her temples. Her body gave a slight tremor of fright and then, obediently became still. Closing his eyes once more as he felt her relax, he slowly began to open the smoky door to her mind. And with a small amount of prodding, he pushed the door to her most recent memory open.

*****

He watched it all. The beginning to end account. The words and then finally the rape. It disgusted him. No woman deserved that...and as he watched, a great horror came over him. The devastation alone must have done something to her mind. He could not imagine what she had felt…what she felt now…now that they had- He watched it again, having an odd sense of curiosity at the situation. Something about it was not right…and yet he could not find the thing that caused it to be so.


*****


He felt her body jerk against his fingers and surprised, he found that his fingers were threatening to crush her head from the amount of pressure he was exerting. Without a word, he released her and watched as she looked away from him; her eyes glassy yet dry of tears.


“You just…looked into my- And you…” Her eyes widened suddenly.


“What…did you see?” She whispered softly, giving him a frightened glance as the hands covering her breasts began to shake.


His chin tilted down slightly, his aura flaring in anger and then receding until it was almost gone.


“Tell me my brother did not do that to you.” His voice was soft, coaxing almost, as he watched her look away from him. He fairly begged her to tell him it wasn’t so…that the memories were a sham - a dream - anything. After all of this time he just did not want to believe the truth.


‘I do not…no, will not feel anything for this little whelp! She got what she deserved for falling in love with my bastard of a brother!’


But then her words from before rang in his head.


*Inuyasha no!*


“You already know Sesshomaru…and I’m to have ever bothered you with this…I’ll leave now. But please…don’t judge me from whatever you saw…I live within my own nightmare and will find my own way out of it.” She whispered as she picked herself up slowly, gathering her robe. She didn’t speak as she quietly put it on and when done, slowly walked towards the shoji door.


*Someone hel-!* Her unanswered cry tore through him and he felt his hands curl into fists.


‘Someone should have done something…someone should have heard!’ His mind roared in anguish at him.


He stood.


“What did you mean when you said that you hoped that I would fall in love with a woman?” He asked softly, making her pause. She was silent for a long moment and he saw her mouth open as if to say something. Instead, she closed it and turned to look back at him and then down at her smooth, flat stomach.


Placing her hand on her skin she didn’t look at him but stared silently at the floor for a moment.


“I…wanted you to know how love feels…and…how it feels…to have it ripped away from you in only a few moments.” She said softly.


Then, a soft blue light filtered from her palm and disappeared within her abdomen. She stepped forward then but stopped halfway through the doorway, her hand clenching the doors thin, rice paper and cherry wood frame.


“It was selfish of me. But then…it really is true you know…that old saying.” She said, as she was about to start forward once more.


“What saying?” He asked quickly, trying to distract her longer, if only to elongate the moment.


She sighed and turned to face him, her eyes meeting his unwaveringly.


“It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. You have a heart Sesshomaru…here. Whether I or you or anyone else says differently.”


She took the two steps to stand before him, and then reached out and placed her fingers lightly over his bare chest where his heart rested. Her fingers were warm and soft, causing him to feel a heat that only she could give him.


“So why don’t you ever feel it? It beats so swiftly and yet…you ignore it. You are forced to do so many things and yet…you only want to be free from it all. You are scared and lonely…you wear a mask of hatred and ice to cloak what you really feel…and…I can relate to you because I…I know how you feel Sesshomaru.” She whispered as she slowly removed her hand from his chest and tentatively slid it up until it rested upon his cheek.


“How?” He asked, his words almost bitter sounding even to his ears.


She smiled.


“Your eyes Sesshomaru…oh those sad eyes... Me wa kuchihodo ni mono o iu. They show what you feel…what you fear. They show what you miss and what has been forever lost to you.” She stepped into his arms then and felt them come around her, holding her close to his chest.


Her hands came to rest palm down over his heart as if to heal it and sighing deeply, she rested her head against him.


“I’ve relived that moment so many times Sesshomaru. And I know now that no one understands you like yourself. I live in a world of uncertainty as you do. I never know what will happen next…. who will live or die…nothing. I have no family to speak of…only a circle of friends who are slowly disappearing into nothingness. But you…you have been like this for countless scores of years while I have only known it for...” A tear slid down her cheek as she spoke but she still found it within herself to smile softly at him.


Slowly, he placed a hand over her own, his fingers tightening around it slightly as his body moved slowly closer to hers. A sudden wind from the open window sent his hair flowing around them both. And for not the first time since they had encountered each other, she marveled at his sheer beauty. Even as cold as he was…he was still beautiful; a frozen angel locked within his own personal hell. Just like her…


“No one can make you truly miserable except yourself…I learned that a long time ago. Maybe you should have as well.” Done, she turned and left, uttering not a word to him as she left to go back to her room and get the chihaya that he had given her. She had nothing else she could wear.


“Do not judge me…”


Sesshomaru watched her go and then walked to the balcony windows, opened them and looked down to see her figure a few moments later, as he watched her exit the massive doors to his castle.


*****


When she had walked a small ways, she turned back to the castle and saw a silver haired figure watching her only to disappear seconds later.


“You’ll find that I am different Sesshomaru…come to me when you need someone…if nothing else…I’ll always be here for you.” She said softly, her voice heard by a dragonfly demon that served as Sesshomaru’s own private messenger.


Instantly, it flew up to his balcony window to relay her message and sighing unawares, she began her long, slow walk back to the dry well, determined to not cry anymore or for that matter ever again. Even though she knew it was an unrealistic goal. A few minutes later she saw Sesshomaru’s private dragon approaching her and knew that he had been sent to bring her home. Gingerly, she climbed onto his back, and as they took to the air, she looked back one last time, wondering exactly how her life would turn out now. She knew she had to tell her friends the truth…she just wondered how they would take it.

End of memory


OK-hi everyone alakeshadow here! I know this chapter was really long-I wrote it so I feel your pain. Thank you and review review review!