Love Thus Lost

Sesshomaru sat on the bleacer's, his chin in his right hand as he stared blankly out into the football feild.
He herd someone sit next to him, but dind't grave them a glance.
"You ok?"
She herd her voice and his guilt crashed hard against his heart.
"Sesshomaru?"
Rin set a hand on his shoulder. She sighed when he dind't say anything, and just put his hood on. Slapping her hand's on her tight's she stood up.
"Well, if you need anyone to talk to... I'm here, ok?"
He felt the familir sting of tears in his eyes, as his heart contricted violently on his rib cage.
How can I do that to her? She's so innocent.... I don't want to her hurt, I want to be with her... But Haruko... I feel like she is my life mate, but I have such strong feelings for Rin.... What should-no, what can I do?
He knew Rin left, but didn't know exactly when.
He didn't know what to do, and with times like these, he turned to one person only.
~After School~
Sesshomaru stood outside her bedroom door, behind the door, Naraku, Azuka and Pandora all were.
Knocking once, the door swung open to revealing Azuka.
"What?"
She asked, slightly annoyed. But once she saw the look on Sesshomaru's face, she quickly closed the door behind her.
"What's up?"
The look she was concerned about was the slightly pissed off, confused look. No one else but Azuka could read him so well.
Walking to the game room, Azuka racked up the pool table while Sesshomaru grabbed a fifth of Voldka.
"You gonna talk, or drink?"
Azuka asked, breaking.
"Soild's."
She said absently, Sesshoamru watched her out of the corner of his eye as he downed more than half of the bottle in one turn. Taking the bottle away, he sighed, wiping his lip's.
"I am at a cross."
Azuka nodded.
"Hm. So I saw. What are you going to do?"
She asked, knocking a ball into the corner pocket. She moved around the table to make another shot.
Sesshomaru eyed the bottle, then downed the rest and cracked open another.
Azuka watched this carefully as she played. Sesshomaru only drakn like this once in a great while. That was when he was so frustrated with himsef he wanted to forget everything.
"I haven't the foggiest."
He confessed, downing half the bottle, making a slight face as he sucked on his teeth.
Azuka smirked.
"Well, that's a good start."
She stood up and leaned against the pool stick.
"Mind if Pandora and Naraku get drunk with you?"
"I don't give a shit."
He growled, slamming the empty bottle against the wall, making Azuka smile and watch the glass and liquid fall downt he wall to pool on the carpet.
"Hm."
Auzka sucked through her teeth.
"Such a big boy."
Sesshomaru snarled.
"I'm not up for your shit right now Azuka."
Azuka sighed and closed her eye's, letting her temple rest on the pool stick.
"Alright. What do you feel for Rin?"
She figurted if she started out with one of the girl's, she could at elast get a foot up on his problem.
Sesshomaru grabbed a fift of Captian.
"Your going to get sick."
Azuka sighed, watching him down the bottle. He threw the empty bottle.
"Shut up."
He growled, wiping his mouth.
"So anyway. Rin. How do you feel about her?"
Azuka asked, taking another shot and missing, she passed the stick to Sesshomaru.
He took it and lined up a shot as Azuka grabbed a line of shot glass's and a fifth of Captain Privet Stock.
She filled four shot glasses and capped the bottle, taking shot after shot she listend to Sesshomaru.
"She's... I like her, I want to be with her, I want to get to know her. But Haruko... I just want to fuck the shit out of her. But I also want her to be their with me, at my side. No one but me will have her."
He sighed as he missed his shot and tossed Azuka the pool stick, she lined up a shot as he resumed drinking.
"So, your problem is a serious booty call, cometment, and love. Hm, you don't think you could score a three some do ya?"
Sesshomru snorted as he put the bottle down.
"I doubt it... Haruko might be down.. But I doubt Rin would be. Beside's, I want to have just one. I will not be so low as to fuck women on the side, such as that worthless half-breed."
Azuka stood up right, he pose deadly, her eyes promising death if he didn't take it back.
"Sorry... It just came out."
Azuka gave no indication of accepting his apology and resumed her strike.
Sesshomaru took it as a sign to continue.
"So what's with you and Naraku anyway?"
Azuka shrugged and leaned against the pool stick again, after making a shot.
Sesshomaru watched and listened as he tipped the bottle back again.
"I don't know. I won't deny it, when I saw Haruko about to strike Naraku, everything in me snapped. For some reaosn, my soul calls out to him. I need him. Kinda like with you, with your Haruko and Rin problem, only rolled into one and less complicated."
"That's encourageing."
Sesshomaru snorted slaming the bottle down on the counter, already feeling his body buzzing.
Auzka snorted and closed her eye's.
"So, how do we solve this little problem?"
Sesshomaru asked, leaning against the counter, looking at his sister. Azuka sighed and walked over and grabbed the bottle from his hands and down the rest of it, gnoring his growl and death glare.
She set it down and threw an arm over his shoulder's.
"Normally, Sesshomaru. I have an easy solution for you, but it seem's you've gotten in over your head. This one's on you, little brother. Either you take the girl your soul and blood call's out to, or you take the girl your 'heart' and soul call out to. I know it's hard, but give it time, the answer will soon bite you on the ass."
He smirked and returned the half way hug, wraping an arm around her waist.
Now feeling the effect's of the liquid.
"Why? What do you see?"
Azuka noticed his slur and smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder.
Tapping into her power's, she took a small peak into the future and smiled.
"You will choose wisely. Very wisely."
"Who is it?"
Azuka smiled.
"You know better than that. It alter's the future and effect's my power's. I cannot tell you. Though, I can now help you better."
He nodded and rested his head on her's.
"Tell me all you can."
Azuka down a whole bottle before answering.
"When the time come's, nii-san, listen to all your senses. Your dream's, your heart, your soul. Listen to what your being tells you. It'll take time-."
"How much time?"
He asked, swaying a little bit. Azuka smiled.
"Enough. Enough time to let you think thing's through, throughly... Effectivly. I suggest trying both girl's, not... Well, spend time with them, see which fits you more. I think that if you try both girl's get to tknow them, cuddle a bit, see what it feel's like. Choose what you desire most, and your answer will be right in front of your face before you know it."
Sesshomaru smiled and kissed the top of her head, before pulling roughly away and stumbling into the living room, Azuka behind him.
"Arigato."
Azuka smiled and walked past him as he sat on the couch, ready to play a game and invited her friend's out into the livingroom.
In no time, the small group of teen's were so shit faced and stoned, it was amazing they were still up.
Suddenly Inuyasha came in and looked at them all. They looked like zombie's, smoking bud and cigarette's, bottle's and blunt gut's lay everywhere.
Inuyasha sighed and sparked up a cigarette. Azuka smiled and rolled her head back against the couch to look at her baby brother.
"Hey, what's up?"
"I need to talk to you, in privet."
Auzka nodded, stood and swayed, then followed Inuyasha into her room, where she shut and locked the door.
"What's up?"
She asked, falling face first onto her bed, Inuyash watched with slight amusment.
"I have a problem..."
"Yeah, me to. I stab people... What's your's?"
Inuyasha snorted and sat down, as his sister chuckled at her own joke.
"I like Jade... But I have feeling's for Kagome."
"Man! Does this shit run in the family?!"
Azuka asked, sitting up.
"Nani?"
Inuyasha asked, blinking. Azuka waved it off.
"Never mind. Now, what does your heart tell you Inuyasha?"
Inuyasha looked at the floor. His heart told him Kagome. But his soul and blood called for Jade. She was powerful, she would make a strong, wonderful mate, and sire equally strong and power pup's.
But Kagome would be the ideal mate, loving, caring, loyal... But she was human... Did he really want to degrade the family more than his exsistance did already?
He voiced his thought's to Azuk and earned himself a slap. Tears stung at his eyes as he watched Azuka stand, shaking with rage.
"How dare you!! You are not degrading this family!! Just like me and Sesshmaru, you are equal to us! We are your family! No one else! We are each other's family and you do NOT bing us shame! Sure you may have your quirk's, but so does me and Sesshoamru, all we have is each other. So what if your heart calls for a human, me and Sesshoamru have the same problem."
"What about that damned Naraku punk?"
Azuka sighed.
"What about him?"
Inuyasha snorted.
"Don't play coy with me fox. What happened back their, at school today?"
Azuka frowned, then blushed and looked away.
"It's none of your concern, and you'll be wise to leave that subject alone."
Inuyasha held up his hand's with a smirk.
"Whatever. Look, I was only asking."
Azuka crossed her arms with a small, mature huff. Then turned to him with a smile.
"So, wanna get fucked up?"
Inuyasha smirked and shrugged.
"When have I ever said no?"
Azuka tipped her head back and laughed, threw an arm over her brother's shoulder's and lead him into Azuka's basement livingroom.
~
Haruko lay on her back, on her giant waterbed. Cool thing about it was though, was the bed was level with the floor. Yet it was a waterbed. At the head of the bed, was a window, looking out into the countery side.
On either side of the bed, at the head of it, were two large speaker's, each held up a small japanesse tree.
On either side of the window, were long, water paint picture's of her family name.
On the left wall was a brown oak dresser, on the right a large stero.
On the empty spaces of the wall, were samuria sword's and old weapon's.
Beside her stero was a closet, which held her TV, VCR, and X-Box.
She sighed and got out of bed, removing her bandanna's.
She took her hair out of their's braid's and combed her hair. Now that her hair was seperated and exposed to the light, it took on a more alburn/plum color than Burgendy/purple.
Once her hair was combed, Haruko walked over to a torch, hanging on the wall. That wasn't burning, and pulled on it.
The floor opened, revealing stair's. She walked in, and touched a brick to her left. On a ledge a few feet above the floor, once she was off the stair's, held a small trail of flame's, lighting the path.
Walking down the hall, she came to, two large double door's.
Pushing on the door's, which were beautifuly decortated with Sakura blossom's, and Lilly's.
The room was as big as a house, in the center, was a large indoor hot spring. It was on giant circular pool, with rock level's, to be sat on, or stood on.
At the edge's were table's of fresh fruit, large silk pillow's. Rack's of towel's and soap.
To the left of the entrance was a rack, all but on peg held a soft, white yukita.
Haruko turned and shut the door's, then locked it and removed her clothing, hung them on a peg and slung a yukita over her arm as she made her way to a large silk pillow.
Haruko found this place while she was cleaning her room. She hung a trash bag from the torch holder, when it lowered and revealed the stair's. Their she got her brothe and sister in law. Together they went down and found this magickal place. The food never rotted, the yukita's were alway's clean along with the water.
Slipping the yukita over her houlder's, she loosly tied it around her waist and sat down on the pillow and curled up.
She popped a strawberry in her mouth as she closed her eye's and relaxed.
~ Saturday Night~
Azuka sat in the middle of her bed, the phone in hand and an open phone book before her. She had aquired Haruko's phone number from the phone book, she reached a few people that weren't Haruko's home phone, but he was on the last one.
She sighed and punched in the number.
"Konnichiwa, this is the Summer House Shrine, Ryu speaking."
"Konnichiwa Ryu, this is Hakkakru Azuka, I'm looking for Haruko-san. Is she their?"
"Haruko?"
For a second Auzka thought she failed again when.
"Yeah, she's here. No one's ever called for her before, are you her friend?"
Azuka smirked.
"You could say that."
"Oh, ok, here she is."
She herd muffled talking then.
"What the fuck Youkia, what do you want?"
"Good afternoon Haruko."
Azuka smiled.
"Fuck off, now what do you want?"
"I want you to come over, get drunk, so we can talk."
Their was silence, then a door being closed.
"Are you sure it's just talking? Your not going to jump me, take my money or nuttin right?"
Azuka could hear the slight amusment in the other girl's voice.
"Plus, I think we need to find out who cast a spell on you and why."
"Fine, but I'm bringing my brother, I think he know's something he's not telling me."
"Straight, bring an extra set of cloth's your spending the weekend."
"Uh...."
"No arguments girl, we need all the time we can get. Plus, I think you've gained the intrest of my brother."
"What? No, that was just a fucking moment."
"Hm, indeed. Anyway, I'll come pick yo up. Where do you live?"
~
Azuka walked over to her dresser and shed her cloth's. She pulled on a tight black tank top with Jugalette in red across the brest. She then pulled on a red thong, and black skater pant's. She hiked the strips of the thong high on hr hip's then brushed her hair till it was flat and soft. She pulled on her black beanie and grabed her key's.
She opened her door and was met with Sesshomaru's frowning face. She blinked and squeezed past him.
"Where are you going?"
"To pick up Haruko."
Sesshomaru blinked and chased after his sister.
"Nani? Are you insane!"
"Maybe."
She replied, walking up the stair's. Sesshomaru went to protest again when she spun and pointed at him.
"Look! This girl has a peice of my spirit in her, I want to know why. Plus, this is your chance to see if Haruko's right for you."
She said and turned, Sesshomaru snarled and chased after her again.
Walking outside, Azuka sighed as the warmth of the sun hit her shoulder's.
She glanced over her shoulder to see Sesshomaru.
"You coming with?"
"No, drop me off at the club."
Azuka rolled her eye's as she got into her mother's black Escort.
Sesshoamru got in as well and strapped himself in. Azuka started the car and popped in Three 6 mafia, turning it up loud enough to mkae their ear's bleed.
Peeling out, she headed into town.
~
Azuka removed her frosted red glasses and looked at the shrine. It was large and ontop of a hill, with over a thousand stair's. She gulped and shut off the car and got out.
She looked around, then used her youkia speed to scale the stair's.
At the top she put her glasses back on and walked up to the front door.
She knocked once before the door swung open, revealing a man with jaw length black hair, that fell around his face. he had the same color eyes as Haruko and wore a white wife beater and black jean's.
"You must be Azuka."
He looked her over then smirked, she frowned.
"You must be Ryu."
"Ryucotsei, but yea, I'm Ryu."
She nodded.
"She's taking a shower, come in."
He moved aside and allowed her. Azuka thakned him and stepped inside. Cool air touched her face, colling her off. The carpet was a light shade of pink, and the wall's a cream color.
Haruko wlaked down the stair's in a tight black short sleeved shirt, with a red hatchet man on the front and baggy skater black jean's, showing off her own lime green thong.
The bandanna's were black now, instead of the purple Azuka saw at school.
Walking back to the car, they all piled in, Haruko sitting next to Azuka.
Haruko nodded at Azuka's chocei of music and voiced her opinion. Azuka smirked.
"Three six are the shit."
"Hell yeah."
Haruko agreed, watching out the window.
~
"Nice place ya got here."
Haruko nodded, looking at the game room. Azuka smirked.
"Hm."
At that moment, Inuyasha game down, four paper bag's in hand.
"Hey Azuka! Give me a hand will ya?"
Azuka grabbed two and headed over to the bar. Haruko and Ryu's eyes buldged out when they saw the ammount of bottle's of liqour being pulled out and stacked on the half empty shelf's.
"Drink much?"
Haruko asked, leaning against the pool table. Inuyasha nodded.
"Yup, almost everynight. Smoke too, you?"
Haruko nodded.
"Yeah, not much of a drinker though."
Ryu frowned, but didn't say anything.
~Later~
Sesshomaru stumbled into the house around 8:30. He ignored his mother who was nagging at him about where he had been. He locked the basement door and leaned against it and sighed.
"You look peachy Sess."
He opened his eyes and saw Azuka, Inuyasha and Haruko, and could of smoke and an opened Captian bottle.
He pushed himself off the door and went into the living room.
Azuka smirked and followed, Inuyasha shrugged and took his shot, Haruko simply watched as Inuyasha missed his shot, then took her own.
~
Sesshomaru sat down on the couch and turned on Halo 2.
Once it was loaded, he pulled out an quarter and a blunt wrap. Azuka sat down next to him and set down a bottle of honey. He glanced at it, then continued to break up the weed.
"What's your beef queef?"
Azuka asked, leaning back and folding her arms behind her head. Sesshomaru didn't say anything until the weed was seed and stemless. Then which, Azuka snatched the blunt and tray, making Sesshomaru glare at the spot where it had been, slowly moving his blazing, drunk eyes to her.
"Chill out, I'll roll it for ya. I'm better at it anyway's."
She muttered as she used her claw to cut a clean slice down the belly of the blunt, easily disposing of the gut's.
Sesshomaru leaned back and closed his eye's, allowng th buzz he had been pushing back to fall over him, making the world around his closed eyes spin radily.
He opened his eye's, the feeing was to powerful for him to remain with his eyes closed. He sighed and picked up the controller and started his game.
With time, Inuyasha and Haruko came in and sat down on the couch, against the left wall.
Their were three couch's, making a box around the TV, in the space to the left, a large lazy boy sat. Making only one entrance into the box, the gap between the two couchs to the right.
Inuyasha took the lazy boy, while Haruko curled up in the corner of the couch to the left, near Inuyasha.
She sat on her left hip, her leg's folded slightly under her and off to the right, her arm's crossed over her chest as she watched sess play the game.
Inuyasha puled out his own quarter and his pipe. He reached to the coffee table in front of Sesshomaru, their was one in front of each couch, and grabbed a game case and started braking up his own weed.
By thie time, Azuka had the blunt half way rolled.
When it was done, it looked like it came right out of the package, but instead of tobbacoo, their was weed.
(A/N: XD)
Handing it back, Sesshomaru paused his game to spark it up.
Inuyasha loaded up his bowl and sparked it the sam time Seshomaru sparked his blunt.
Azuka got up and went into her room and game back with her 3 foot dark blue water bong. Both boy's smirked and Haruko blinked.
"This, Haruko, is Blue. She'll take good care of ya, if you take good care of her. That mean's, you have to clear her before you pass her."
Azuka said, sitting down and pulled out a bag of already broke up bud. Haruko snorted.
"Can do."
Inuyasha snorted as he passed her the bowl, letting out some smoke.
"Don't be to sure of your self, Blue's a hard woman to impress."
He said with a wink, making Haruko bush a bit.
"So, where'd Ryu go?"
Inuyasha asked, looking around. He was stuck with two females almost all afternoon.
"He went home."
Haruko said, in between hit's. Inuyasha looked at her.
"Why?"
"His girl friend called."
She said simply, Inuyasha caught the tone and knew it was a touchy subject so he left better enough alone. He sighed, as Sesshomaru passed him the blunt. He took three good hit's and passed to Haruko, who just got done passing the bowl to Azuka, who was choking and passing Blue to Seshomaru.
Thus went the night.
~Around four or five in the morning~
Inuyasha and Haruko were in the game rom, listening to Twiztid, Free Show playing pool while Sesshomaru and Azuka stayed in the living rom, playing Mortal Combat.
Haruko sat on the bar and swung her leg's as she watched Inuyasha kill the game.
"You suck."
She pouted, crossing her arm's, he chuckled and stood up right.
"That's game."
Putting the pool stick up, he jumped on the bar next to her.
"What'dya wanna do now? I'm not tired."
Haruko complained, setting her chin in her hand. Inuyasha smirked and bumped his shoulder into her's.
She laughed and looked down, he smiled.
"So, how come you wear that bandanna?"
Haruko sighed and touched the tip, hanging past her chin, while smoking, she had merely lifted it up.
"Well.... When I was younger, I had fang's sort of. It scared people, and it scared me. I never talked, so no one would see them. I herd ABK when I was around Ten, and went ad saw him in concert, ever since then, I've worn a bandanna."
She said, letting her hand drop. Inuyasha reached behind her and untied it, the bandanna fell into her lap and she froze. Inuyasha cupped her chin and moved it so she looked at him. Her eyes searched his face as his eyes swpet over her feature's, his eyes landed on the bandanna around her forehead and untied that as well. Smiling at her, he let his claw's skim her cheek.
"Your beautiful."
She blushed and looked away.
"Sure, but no one else think's so."
Inuyasha sucked through his teeth and pulled her chin back to face him.
"You are Haru-chan. Don't let anyone else tell you such bullshit."
He kissed her above her left eye and smiled.
"Beside's, from what I've herd. You carry a small peice of my sister's soul, make's you family. We charish family, it's all we have left. So if your in with us, your in for life."
He winked and hopped down and faced her, coming inbetween her leg's and grabbing her shoulder's. She blinked.
"Why?"
She asked, narrowing her eye's, her defencsing slamming up. He frowned.
"Why are you doing this? I have done nothing to you but shame your sibling's in pulic. I hardly know you and you hardly know me. Why are you bieng so nice?"
He smiled.
"Belive it or not, their are people out their who share the same pain as you. I'm one of them. I understand where you come from, I understand how you feel and why. I'm a hanyou, a half demon. I'll never be accepted by the humans or the demon's. I'm neither. My sister is the same, Sesshoamru is really the only one who has a place."
He sighed and took her chin in his hand again.
"Look, I don't know how to fully explain this to you, Haru-chan, but sometime's..... Being distant, and closed up, isn't alway's the right answer. Sure it's guards you from the pain the world deal's you. but amung friend's, like us. The world can't touch you."
Haruko stared at him, then smiled and nodded. He smiled back and dropped his hand and smacked her thigh.
"Beside's, I've herd that my brother has quite the thing for you."
He winked, she snorted and crossed her arm's, glaring off to the side.
"Yeah, like I'd feel anything for him. He out right kissed me in front of everyone and caused me to loose my control."
Inuyasha chuckled and moved away to grab a bottle of Captian Morgan.
"Don't get me wrong Haruko, I'm not this generious, or caring, or talkative. It's the drug's. Beside's, I'm not really all that nice either."
Haruko snorted and jumped down.
"I've noticed. You may not know it Inuyasha, but I know everything that goes on in that school. I konw where your hangout is, I know your problem with Kagome and Jade, I also know about Sesshoamru's infatuation with Rin."
Inuyasha looked t her over his shoulder frozen. Haruko laughed at the lost look and waved at him.
"I have power's to, ya know. It may only be a peice of her soul, but that doesn't mean I'm short in power's. I have the power of sight too, just no the sight that Azuka has. I can see anything in my surrounding's, simply by closing my eye's and opening my mind's eye."
Inuyasha nodded and poured the Captian into two glasses with ice.
"I also have the power of sight that Azuka has, only, it's dull. Azuka's is much better. I can only see into the future by maybe a week, or if I'm lucky a month. I really don't like it, I like being surprised, ya know."
Inuyasha nodded and handed her a drink. She took a sip and turned.
"C'mon, let's go back into the living room."
Inuyasha nodded and followed her. Once in their Azuka looked up, she was packing Blue.
"Have fun you two? You've been playing pool for almost two hour's."
Haruko smirked and took Inuyasha spot in th lazy boy, earning a glare, she stuck out her tongue and looked at Azuka who was staring at her, along with Sesshomaru. she frowned, thens he gasped and touched her mouth.
My bandanna!!!
She glared at Inuyasha who smirked, and hid it behind his glass as he took a swig.
"Your an asshole."
He winked and set his glass on the table.
"I know."
She growled and took a swig of her own drink. Her brow tiwtched.
"Stop staring at me damnit!"
She snarled, Sesshomaru smirked and looked back ot his game, Azuka said nothing and sparked up Blue.
Haruko sighed and closed her eye's. She knew she had said to much to Inuyasha, she knew she had opened up to him. It stung knowing that she once again failed in keeping her composure around these demon's. She ahd to keep her guard up, if nothing else.
When her eye's opened, they were steel and hard, she stared emotionlessly at the screen.
Azuka glared at Inuyasha who blinked, and rolled his eye's, pulling a cigarette out from under his black bandanna over his head.
Azuka growled.
What did you say to her, you twit?
Inuyasha looked at the tv screen.
Fuck off, she's probably pissed, we had a heart to heart.
Azuka nodded to herself and passed the bong to Sesshomaru.