A Love That Never Was

Author’s note: I’ve had a couple of people ask me if this is definite Kag/Sess pairing or just kind of angsty. Well be happy it is a pairing and there will be much fun in later chapters. All flames will be used to light my cigarettes. And Thank you to everyone so far that has told me they like the story.

Disclaimer: Don’t Own Inuyasha; maybe if I get really rich I can make some kind of a deal.


Kagome slumped over Kirara, holding a hand to her shoulder. It hurt like hell, but at least the bleeding had stopped. She pushed at the wound needing to feel something, anything. She felt dead inside. Gone…how could they be gone? Just last night they had been laughing around the campfire. Sango and her had spent half the night giggling about Miroku’s attempts at being a gentleman to impress her. Inuyasha had been obnoxious and she had needed to sit him. Oh Kami. She would never sit him again, or argue with him, or laugh, with him. She began to sob again. How could this have happened?

Kirara landed in front of Kaede’s hut. Kagome slid off the neko-youkai’s back and reached out her good arm. Kirara obligingly transformed into a little kitten and jumped into Kagome’s arm. She walked into the hut, looking for Kaede. Instead she saw little Shippo, passed out on the bed mat. The tears slipped silently down her cheeks as she watched him toss and turn. He always had nightmares, usually about when his father had been killed.

As if in answer to her thoughts, he began to call out for his father in his sleep. She started to go to him as she always did, but stopped. How could she tell him what had happened? She was covered in blood and alone. She wouldn’t even have to speak. He was too smart for that. One look at her and he would know. She quietly began to back away to the door when a hand touched her arm.

She whirled around to see Kaede. The old miko took one look at her and guided her outside. Without a word, the two women walked over to the lake where Kaede helped her wash all the blood off and cleansed the arrow wound. After Kagome was cleaned up and changed her clothes, Kaede started to speak.

“Are they all gone then, child?” she asked. Once again, the tears welled up in Kagome’s eyes as she related the entire story. By the end Kaede was holding her close as she just sobbed, not even able to speak. Kaede rocked her like you would a child until Kagome’s sobs had stilled and she was able to catch a breath.

“I’m sorry that I killed your sister Kaede-baba,” she whispered finally.

“Child my sister died fifty years. That thing that was walking around was only a part of her. And most certainly not the best part at that. Right now the only thing I care about is you.” The old woman gently kept her arms around Kagome, but moved enough to be able to look at her while they spoke. “So you have the Shikon No Tama?”

Kagome pulled it out for her inspection. Kaede looked at it for a moment and then motioned for her to put it away.

“That jewel has caused so much harm, child. What do you intend to do now?”

“I’m not sure. I think I’m going to go home. If I go home maybe I can think about what to do. I just….I can’t think right now. It’s just too much.”

Kaede nodded and helped her to her feet.

“Will you go right now?”

“Yes. I can’t stay here tonight. Just please take care of Shippo for me until I get back. Don’t tell him what happened. He needs to hear it from me.”

The two women embraced and Kagome headed off to the well.

As she walked through the woods her thoughts were a jumble. What shall I do? Do I make my wish? Do I just destroy the damned thing?

“I can help you, “ whispered a voice. Kagome jumped. She tried to draw her bow, but her arm hurt too much.

“Who’s there?” she asked.

“Look down,” whispered the voice. Kagome looked down and saw that there was s oft pulsing glow coming from under her shirt. She reached out and pulled out the Shikon No Tama. She stared at it in shock.

“You speak?” she asked softly.

“Only to you Kagome,” replied the whisper. “I am a part of you. I have always been a part of you. Just as I was a part of Kikyo, and all the other women that guarded the Shikon No Tama before you.”

“Why have you never spoken to me before?” she asked suspiciously.

“I did. I used to speak to you often when you were a little girl. But as you grew older, you forgot how to speak to me. There is no magic left where you come from. And as you grew up you stopped being able to hear because your era teaches that there is no magic.”

Kagome nodded for a moment and kept walking. She needed a minute to process what was happening. She reached the clearing where the well was. Everything had started here. She looked over at the god tree and thought of the first time she had seen Inuyasha. She covered her eyes, trying to keep the tears from coming again.
“I’m sorry for your pain,” whispered the jewel. Kagome sat down on the edge of the well.

“How can you help me?” she asked. The jewel sighed softly.

“Not as much as I would like I’m afraid. All I can do is talk to you while you try to sort out your own thoughts. But if you want me to talk to you, it will have to be now. I can’t make myself heard once you go back to your time.” Kagome nodded.

“We can start simple,” said the jewel. “What will stop your pain?”

“For my friends to not be dead.”

“But if they hadn’t died, Naraku would most likely not be dead either. So what else is there?”

“Maybe if Naraku had never existed?”

“But do you mean Naraku or the man Onigumi?”

“Both.” And with that word Kagome knew what she was going to do. The jewel gasped.

“Oh Kagome are you sure?”

“You can read my mind?”

“Only when your feelings are as strong as they are right now. Are you sure this is the decision you want to make? It will change everything!”

“I don’t care. I want it to change everything. I said that he will never hurt anyone again and I meant it.” She looked down at the jewel. “How do I his?his?”

“You have to be completely alone. Then I will form a barrier around you that will prevent any thing from interrupting you. Then hold me in your hand and wish from your heart.” The jewel was silent for a moment and then burst out, “Kagome are you truly willing to sacrifice everything/”

“All the people that I loved sacrificed everything. Why kind of friend would I be to them if I didn’t do the same?”

She stood up and walked over to the well. Her journey had begun here. I t fittfitting that it would end here. She climbed up and stood on the edge.

“I’m ready,” she said softly. The jewel began to hum and a deep blue glow appeared around her. She took a breath, but before she could begin her wish, a loud crash came from the woods. Moments later the source of the crash stood before her.

“What do you want Western Lord?” she asked him coldly. How dare he come now? Does he think after what he did I will just continue with one of his question and answer sessions?

“This Sesshoumaru needs to speak with you, miko.” He noticed the shield around her. “Lower your guard miko. This Sesshoumaru gives you his word that you will come to no harm from him this evening.”

“I think I will leave this shield up tonight. What do you want? And make it quick, I have no time for this right now.” Sesshoumaru winced inwardly. Her voice was full of ice and he could not blame her.

“This Sesshoumaru wishes to give his apologies, miko. What happened before was rude and incorrect. If it had been Rin, this Sesshoumaru’s reaction would have been much the same as yours. This Sesshoumaru also wishes to give his condolences for the loss of your pack.” It was almost impossible to get the apology out of his mouth, but it was worth it for the reaction he got from her.

Kagome’s mouth dropped open. He had apologized to her. He was being kind. She tried to speak and no words came out. She closed her mouth, swallowed and tried again.

“I accept your apologies and your condolences, Western Lord. But I was serious when I meant I needed you to go. I have things I must do.”

“Are you going back to your own home, miko?” He sniffed the air carefully. She had cleaned the battle stench off of herself, but he could still smell the blood from her wound as well as her sorrow. But there was something else. A scent of fear and determination.

“I can still speak to you, Kagome and he will not hear,” whispered the jewel. “If you concentrate very hard on what you wish to say to me, I will be able to hear without speaking aloud.

“What should I do?” she asked the jewel silent

“My shield is strong enough that you will still be able to make the wish. You only needed to be alone long enough for me to put it up. The strength of this shield is only second in power to my ability to grant a wish. But do not speak with him for too long for my strength will not laorevorever.”

“You have not answered me miko,” said Sesshoumaru, startling her back to reality.

“My apologies Western Lord. The plan was for me to go back home. It’s actually a good thing you are here. I can say good-bye to you. I will not be coming back here again.” She looked at him and to her shock saw his eyes start to bleed red. With blinding speed, he was in front of her, his face inches away from hers.

“This Sesshoumaru will not allow that, miko,” he said.