A Time for Changes

“Open Your Eyes” by Snow Patrol

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Chapter 27: The anger swells in my guts, and I won't feel these slices and cuts

Inuyasha was standing in the shop inside the Museum of Modern Art.  The store was full of interesting things, shapes and designs that he had never seen before.  Inuyasha even found new furniture he thought Kagome would enjoy in the apartment. Besides the furniture pieces and lamp, Inuyasha was able to find a few books with beautiful photographs he thought she’d enjoy.

“There you are.”

Inuyasha looked up and turned, seeing Miroku standing at the end of the aisle. He was wearing a dress suit from the café and looked agitated.  Inuyasha waved a hand and then turned the page of the book, “Yo. Dude, you that eager to chill?”

“Fuck off,” Miroku snapped, shoving his hands into his pockets. “What on earth are you doing here, anyway? Reading books?”

Inuyasha shrugged, “I promised Kagome I’d bring her back a souvenir.”

“Bring her back or send it back?”

Inuyasha turned to him and raised an eyebrow, “What on earth does that mean?”

“I mean are you actually going back to Japan? Or are you just going to send her things? You did come here to help Kikyo-san find an apartment,” Miroku said slowly. He folded his arms in front of his chest and looked at his best friend. “There’s a clear difference.”

Inuyasha looked down at the book in his hands and closed it, staring at the cover. After a long time he just sighed, his shoulders slumped, “I don’t even know anymore, Miroku.”

Miroku threw his hands up in the air and sighed, “Why is it so hard for you to make a decision? Are you that afraid of being hurt? She left you once, Inuyasha, I don’t know why you don’t think she’ll do it again.”

“What the hell is with you coming here and lecturing me? Like, are you suddenly a talk show host? Seriously. Dude, we’ve been friends for years, you’ve never acted this way.”

Miroku looked away and clenched his fists. He couldn’t tell Inuyasha that Koga was around without upsetting Sango. At the same time, this was his best friend. What the hell was a guy supposed to do right now? Kagome was with Sesshomar, or Tsuki was, there were so many things in motion right now.

Miroku took a step towards his friend and sighed, “Maybe we should talk for real.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I bet you two are fighting again, aren’t you?”

The silence was deafening, until finally, he said, “I miss Kagome. I miss that klutz so damn much.”

--

A large queen bed sat in the clearing of a forest.

It had white sheets that billowed with the wind. There was a single pillow and an abandoned sketchpad on the ground beside the bed frame. Kagome was atop the bed, sleeping. She was in a simple white dress.

Eyes shut; Kagome’s hair was back to its longer length.  Just slightly, her body was raised just above the bed, floating. There was nothing else but the bed in the forest.

--

Tsuki sat in the town car beside Sesshomaru. Rin sat across from the two, swinging her legs back and forth, besides the ward, Jaken.  Her head was pounding for no reason at all.  Her thumb and index finger pinched the bridge of her nose.

“You feel unwell still?”

Tsuki looked up at Sesshomaru, who had pulled his eyes from his blackberry, to look at her. Though his face was the same stone cold and blank, she could feel his tiny hint of concern.  She clered her throat, “My head is pounding.”

“Maybe Kagome-chan is dancing in your head,” Rin-chan giggled, continuing to swish her legs. She was in a little yellow polka dotted dress.  “She wants your attention.”

Tsuki glared, but Rin didn’t seem to notice. Tsuki tilted her head back up to Sesshomaru who was just as obviously smirking. “You have not heard her voice since the incident?”

The gem on her bracelet glowed with a pulse. Tsuki closed her eyes and shook her head, “No. But the night you and Inuyasha fought at the café she disappeared for three days.”

“Hm.”

“At that point I believed it was a split in our desires that caused conflict,” Tsuki looked at her cuff and rotated her wrist. “If that theory is correct, the same happened when she put on this relic.”

“Kagome what, does not desire, this Sesshomaru?”

Tsuki chuckled and leaned her head on his shoulder, “Perhaps. But that would be her loss, not mine.”

--

After the long car ride Tsuki stood in front of the apartment that belonged to Kagome and Inuyasha.  She rubbed the back of her head and sighed, this was her apartment too, technically, so why did it feel like she was about to intrude on someone else’s personal space?  Her body by habit had grabbed the mail from the mailroom slot before climbing the flights of stairs towards her room. Now standing there, Tsuki turned the handle of the door and walked inside.  

“I’m back,” she mumbled weakly.

Tsuki flipped on the light switch and left her bag on the couch.  To her dismay there was nothing in the fridge besides bottled waters. Her hair was in need of a cut, it was halfway between short and long, right around that “bushy” phase. These sorts of non-consequential thoughts were running through her head.

With a frustrated sigh she flopped down onto the couch and stared at the ceiling. “Now what?”

--

Sango sat across the table from Koga, both still in shock of their friend storming out on them. She cleared her throat, “I’m so sorry, Koga-san. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

Koga, who by now had gotten the two of them coffees, sipped at his drink. “It’s not his battle to fight, so I’m not too concerned.”

“What are you even fighting, Koga-kun?”

“I’m fighting for Kagome, obviously.” He put down his cup and looked up at her. “You’ve obviously never had to fight against the barriers and stereotypes demons deal with, and that’s fine, it just makes it hard to explain.”

Sango frowned, feeling slightly put off by his condescending tone. She cleared her throat. “Kagome and I have had our differences as well. Adapting to demon culture has been hard on us as well.”

The wolf’s ears twitched as he stood abruptly. “Someone’s on her way to get me. I got to get out of here. If they see us together no one will leave you alone.” Koga left a few bills on the table and smiled at her weakly, “I’m sorry, it’s just for your protection. Miroku has my number.” With that, he was gone.

Sango looked at her coffee and her phone on the table. Miroku hadn’t called her once since he’d stormed out. Usually the two never went long without a message or something.  She was tapping her hand on the table when a pair of white heels approached her table.  

 

Sango looked up and smiled, “Hello?”

The woman had bright red hair tied in two separate pigtails. She was on the shorter side with green eyes and a splash of freckles across her face.  “Where’s Koga?”

Sango couldn’t believe the snap in this woman’s voice. She hadn’t even met Sango and demanded something. Also, how did this girl even know Koga was here?  “Excuse me?”

“His scent is all over this place, tell me where he is,” she snapped again, tapping her foot and crossing her arms. “Now.”

Sango glared and sipped on her coffee. “I don’t know who you are and you don’t know who I am.”

“You’re just a stupid little human girl who is wasting my time. I need to find Koga. He blew off a very important meeting tonight.”

Sango chuckled and picked up her phone, clicking away on the touch screen. “Insulting me will get you exactly what you want.”

The woman slapped Sango’s coffee clear out of her hand. “You stupid human. My name is Ayame and I am the granddaughter of the Northern wolf tribe leader, Yōrōzoku. I am Koga’s partner!”

Sango could feel the angry energy flying off this “Ayame” girl. She sighed and looked at Ayame with a shrug, “He just left. I don’t know where he went. I’m not any use to you, Ayame-san.”

Ayame huffed and stormed out, but not before Sango’s eyes caught a ring perched on her left ring finger.

--

Inuyasha sat on the top of a park bench with Miroku in the bench’s seat beside her. Miroku was eating a city pretzel and Inuyasha watched the people work by.

“So the last time you two talked?”

“She doesn’t even want to see you or Sango,” Inuyasha grumbled. “I had fond an apartment that she actually liked, I felt like we were making progress. Then she tells me to get acclimated and that seeing you will make it harder for me.”

Miroku took a bite of his pretzel and laughed, “I’ve been here for months, gees, and I’m not that much of a bad influence.”

“But, get acclimated? Does she think I’m staying?”

That got Miroku to laugh, “You came to America to get apartment hunting with her. That usually says I’m staying.”

“I’m not even done with school yet.”

“You hate what you’re doing anyway. Didn’t you just do it so Sesshomaru would get off your back?” Miroku crumpled the wrapper of the pretzel and tossed it in the nearby trashcan.

“That… but if I stayed… then I haven’t given Kagome a proper goodbye or anything.”

Miroku stretched his hands over his head and chuckled, “Have you thought of just calling her instead of waiting for pictures and sketches?”

Inuyasha’s ears drooped. “I’m afraid she’s lonely.”

“Is she lonely or are you?” Miroku perched his hands on his knees and turned to his friend. “I know we’ve hung out, and Sango too, but we’re both leaving. Kagome knows we’re coming back. It seems like in this situation, you’re the one being abandoned, not her.”

Inuyasha watched a skateboarder ride by with a dog on a leash. “Maybe.”

“If you made up with Kikyo, which you guys seem to do, then what?”

“I still have my room in the hotel for right now. A little bit more than a week.”

Miroku picked at something under his nail. “What do you think would make her happy? Do you think she’s going to wait for you forever?”

“Wait? We’re friends. It’s not like we can’t pick up right where we left off.”

This had Miroku rolling his eyes. This guy was dense. Very dense. “I’m just saying that there are probably many men who would want to date her. Are you going to let that happen?”

“They don’t know her like I do. She wouldn’t date them.”

“Are you sure of that? She dated Koga, didn’t she? A heart can be swayed with time.”

Inuyasha stood up and stretched, leaving the bag of gifts for Kagome on the bench. “Can you just cut to the chase on this shit, Miroku? I feel like everyone is pussy-footing around each other and I haven’t a freakin’ clue why.”

Mirkou stood and looked his friend in the eyes, “You need to ask yourself would you be okay if someone else fell in love and took Kagome away? Are you okay being a friend who visits once in a while? Never being her roommate again? Not being the first person she goes to?”

Inuyasha thought back to the past few months. His mind sorted through memories: their day as humans with her powers, her crying face, her sleeping face tucked up against his chest, sharing coffees on the yellow couch...He didn’t say anything.

“I told you once before, don’t fall in love with Kagome if you’re not prepared to say goodbye to Kikyo.”

“I know that!” Inuyasha snapped back.

Miroku sighed, “I’m not mad. I told you that because I didn’t want you to hurt her, but if your heart is swaying, I’m telling you to let it.”

Inuyasha looked confused.

“There is nothing wrong with you falling in love with Kagome, Inuyasha,” Miroku said quietly. “I just figured it would only be a matter of time before you did. But if you take too long to do something you might lose her before you get the chance.”

Miroku’s phone began to ring.

“Speaking of love, my girlfriend is looking for me. I have to go fix this. Just think about what I said, okay?”

Inuyasha looked at the ground and sighed. She wanted to find the strength to live without me. She already thinks I made my choice.

---

Tsuki was sitting on the couch staring down at Kagome’s sketchpad. Her curiosity had gotten the better of her and it was turned to a blank page. There was a pack of charcoal open on the coffee table beside the pad, but she had yet to make any movement. Her wet hair drooped in front of her red eyes. The demoness did not want to admit how curious she was. Her right foot tapped with agitation.

She leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes.  Her fingers ran along the texture of the relic on her wrist. The gem at the center pulsed when her fingers touched it. A light broke out in the room.

Kagome floating above the bed in the forest opened her eyes.  The once beautiful blue eyes were entirely black. She opened her mouth and whispered, “Tsuki.”

Tsuki’s eyes shot open and she gasped, nearly leaping off the couch. “Kagome? Is that you, Kagome?”

The house was empty. No one called out to her.  Tsuki looked down at the relic on her hand, it was glowing. She leaned down and picked up a piece of charcoal and pressed it to the sketchpad.  What the mind cannot remember the body certainly can, and as if by instinct, her hands began to create a beautiful sketch on her page.

When the image formed it was the necklace that Inuyasha had given her a week ago. Tsuki touchced her neck and realized she wasn’t wearing it anymore. She went into Kagome’s room and found the necklace on the desk in front of the mirror. She picked it up and weighed it in her hand before ptting it on.

“I put it on. Now what?”  There was nothing but silence.

Tsuki let out a frustrated sigh and pulled at her hair. “I don’t know how the hell to separate us if you’re going to be silent the entire time!” She stormed back to the couch and sat down, her foot twitching again.

After a beat Tsuki sighed. Sesshomaru had to return to work, leaving her no one specific to talk to. All of Kagome’s companions were gone as well.  She was surprised however, to see her cell phone light up.

It was Inuyasha.

Tsuki picked up the phone carefully and opened it, “Hello?”

Inuyasha certainly sounded surprised, “Tsuki? Is that you?”

Tsuki nodded her head, not that he could see, “It is Tsuki. This is Inuyasha, right?”

“It is. Sorry, I’m just surprised. Is uh, Kagome there?”

Tsuki bit her lip and touched the necklace on her chest. “She isn’t.”

“Meaning…what…exactly?”

Tsuki touched the relic, but this time it did not pulse. “I guess I’m currently in possession. She fainted a few days ago.”

“Fainted? Is she okay?” His voice was hurried and nervous. “What happened?”

“Well, I believe we found the relic.” Tsuki raised her hand in the air to stare at the cuff. “It’s currently on my…our…wrist.”

“Bt it didn’t separate you two? What the hell! How did you even find it?”

Tsuki sweated and coughed, “The museum where Kagome worked found it in storage. I guess it belonged to some old collector.”

“Has anything happened since you put the relic on?”

“Kagome fainted. I don’t know why. When I woke up I was in control. I haven’t heard from her yet. But it’s only been twenty four hours.”

“Right, she did disappear that other time… Hey Tsuki?”

“Yes, Inyasha?”

“Can you have her call me when she wakes up?”

Tsuki smiled weakly, “Sure thing, Inuyasha.”

“And Tsuki?”

“Yes?”

“Are…are you doing okay? Do things seem weird without her there?”

Tsuki looked around the quiet apartment. “It’s certainly quieter, but that’s not a bad thing, in my opinion.”

Inuyasha laughed on the other end. “If it gets too quiet talk to Lady Kanade. She might be able to tell you why Kagome hasn’t come back yet.”

“Right, I’ve got it. Sorry I’m not more help, Inuyasha.”

Inuyasha laughed on his end, “I’m just glad you’re doing okay. Hopefully she is too. I’ll try and call tomorrow.”

--

Miroku opened the door to his dormitory and found Sango sitting on the bed with a magazine. He sighed and shrugged off his jacket, “Glad you got back alright.”

“No thanks to you storming off like that,” she snapped back, angrily flipping the page in her magazine.

This was not how he wanted to start off this conversation. Miroku perched himself in the chair at his desk, backwards, leaning his chin on the top of the chair. “So we’re going to fight because of other people, not even about us?”

“I just don’t understand. You found Koga and now you don’t want him to see Kagome,” she sighed, throwing the magazine down on her lap.

“I found Koga because you asked me to. Hell, I saw his face in a crowd,” Miroku growled, leaning back in the chair. “He is the one who hunted down my scent and found me that night. Him. Not me.”

“Oh, so if Koga hadn’t found you then you would have just given up?”

“Sango. I leave in a week. If I didn’t find him I wasn’t going to stay in America just to find this guy. I’m not even friends with him,” Miroku hissed. He was trying so hard to keep his tone down and not sound like he was arguing with her.

“Why don’t you want Kagome to be happy?” Sango cried out, crossing her arms over her chest.

Miroku stood, the chair nearly tipping over. “It is not my job to make Kagome happy. I’m not her father and you’re not her mother. We’re not supposed to take care of her!”

“That’s what friends are for.”

“For what? To dredge up her past? To not pay attention to her present? Sango for crying out loud I haven’t even seen her since before the accident. I just want to see Kagome, my friend. I want to see her and how she is doing! I don’t want to assume anything.”

“So you can’t trust my word when I talk about her?”

“It’s not about trust, damnit! You are not Kagome. No matter how close you two are.”

“Someone has to help her! She’s all alone.”

“She has us! She has Inuyasha.”

“Inuyasha left, he made his decision,” Sango snapped back, looking away from him.

So it as clear; Sango was siding with Koga, and in this moment, it seemed Miroku was siding with Inuyasha. Miroku cleared his throat and let out a sigh. “Koga left too. He made a choice as well.”

“He didn’t have a choice. His mother made him leave”

Miroku shook his head; “It took him this long to get in contact with any of us? You don’t think there was something else holding him back?”

Sango thought of Ayame with the ring on her finger and frowned.  “I don’t know.” Miroku put his coat back. “Where are you going?”

Miroku looked back at her. “I am not going to waste my time fighting with you about relationships that are none of our business.  You came here to see me, right? Or did you really just come here to put together the fairytale story for someone else? Kagome was attacked, Kagome’s brother died, but she didn’t suddenly become helpless and stupid. If you want to help Koga you’re on your own, but if he’s coming to Japan, I’m telling Inuyasha. I’m not going to keep secrets from friends anymore. This isn’t fair to anyone. Especially Kagome.

 

--

Tsuki was asleep in Kagome’s bed.

The relic on her hand glowed and her eyes opened, blue.

As if in a trance, Kagome stood before the mirror in her room and picked up some lipstick and opened the cap.

Leaning forward she wrote on the mirror, I Can See You While I’m Sleeping.

Her hands trembled; the lipstick fell from her hand.

Kagome tried to reach out for a chair to steady her but instead crumpled to the floor. Tsuki continued to sleep.

--

Inuyasha knocked on Kikyo’s hotel door. He could hear footsteps inside and then the shadow of feet standing in front of the door, not opening it.

“I know you’re there, I can smell you, and see your feet.”

Kikyo opened the door for him, standing in a worksuit. She’d probably just gotten home from work even though the sun had just gone down.

“Hey. Can we talk?”

“I might have to tie you down, you keep running away, like a bad dog.” Inuyasha bristled. Kikyo could be so cold.  Still, she stepped aside and let him in.  “You’re letting the warm air out.”

He walked in and kicked off his shoes, clawed toes clicking against the floor. He stood as she sat down on the bed. Her laptop was open and there were documents strewn across the bed as well.

“How have you been?”

Kikyo clicked on the computer and did not look up, “Fine.”

“Work?”

“Busy, like it always is.”  She picked up a document to read it and then put it back down. She circled something with a red pen. “And your vacationing? Have you enjoyed being a tourist?”

Inuyasha shrugged his shoulders, “I got a few souvenirs.”

“That’s quaint.”

Inuyasha rubbed the back of his head and sighed. This was going nowhere fast. “Do you miss me when I’m gone?”

Kikyo shrugs her shoulders; “I always know you’re going to come back to me eventually.”

“Then why did you leave three years ago?”

 “We’ve gone through this,” Kikyo sighed, closing the laptop. “I left to follow work.”

“Why did you not let me follow you then but you want me to follow now? I don’t get it. I don’t get why we couldn’t keep in touch those three years. You just ditched me.”

“I had to test you.”

“You had to test me, for three fucking years?” Inuyasha felt so much rage bubble up in his chest. “Why couldn’t you trust me?”

“You never gave me a reason to trust you.”

“Did I ever give you a reason not to?”

There was a silence in the room. Clearly, Inuyasha was right. He’d been loyal, dedicated, and loving. He’d tried hard to be with this woman.

Kikyo turned to face him and stare him on, “Why are you here then? I haven’t gone anywhere. You keep storming out. You’re like a tiger in a cage.”

“Why did you invite me here? We found an apartment but you haven’t moved into it. You said you wanted a family and never talk about it. You never let me see you at work. You want this entire private life and for me to wait at home like a puppy?”

Kikyo stood and went to the mini-fridge, showing nothing, but did say, “I wasn’t going to start a family without a ring. That’s what I’ve been waiting for. Even three years ago, I was waiting for it then.”