A Blind Heart

Author’s Note:

Hello! I have an announcement to make. As much as I would like to update this weekly, work and other things prevent this. Therefore I will be updating this story only twice a month. I figure this way everyone knows when to expect the updates and if I get the chance to update more often it will be a pleasant surprise!

Also faithful readers I have a question to pose to you all. I originally stated that there seven levels of Heaven and training. Would you like to have a full chapter dedicated to each level or condense several of them into 2 or 3 chapters? Review or email me your response, (which ever is easier due to the new changes) otherwise the story progresses as my muse dictates. Otherwise the story goes based on my muse…

As always my thanks to Phoenix Wolf the beta for this story! She completely ROCKS! I tend to do my chapters really late at night and they have the craziest mistakes in them!!!!

Thanks to those who have reviewed as well as to those who have just read and enjoyed! I’m so glad to see that people actually like the crazy stuff my mind comes up with. Okay enough….read & enjoy!!!!!


Frank Lloyd Wright: Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you.

Lessons in Love – One with Nature

Ayame’s POV:

It was a peaceful night all things considered. We all had the worst day imaginable with those freakin’ trials! Yes, I know they were for a purpose. But let me tell you getting smacked with a reason or for no reason hurts the same. If anyone told me that we would all end up sleeping in one big pile I would have laughed at them. However Ookami’s and Inu’s are pack animals. Like all pack animals we have instincts that guide and govern our behavior. One of them is how we give and receive comfort. Most humans would be scandalized to see a bunch of scantily dressed adults in one big pile, but this wasn’t about sex. It was about the warmth of your pack holding you and helping you when you were at your worst. It was the joy and reassurance that you were not alone, never alone in this world.

As I drifted off my last conscious thoughts were of Koga and I mating.

Morning arrived and Kami told us we had a one-day grace period. After breakfast I took the opportunity to go down by the beach. I needed to think and I’ve always loved the sound of water. So I strolled on the shore thinking of yesterday’s lessons. Immediately the sand and the water soothed me and allowed me to reflect deeply. I knew I loved Koga utterly and completely, but I wasn’t sure about the affection he harbored for me. As much as I wanted that male, I now knew that I did not want him to take me due to some sense of honor or duty.

Call me naïve or dumb but I wanted him to mate me because I was the first thing he thought about when waking, and the last thing he remembered before sleeping. I wanted to be his favorite fantasy, his every dirty thought, and his hidden desire. I needed him to need me as desperately as he needed the air that he breathed. Why you might ask? Because that’s exactly how I felt about Koga. And I would not settle for anything less from my mate, not now, not ever.

“Ayame”

I didn’t want to turn around and look into those cobalt eyes. I was afraid, so afraid of what they might reveal. But I was a warrior princess and weakness no matter how warranted was not allowed. I slapped a smile in place and whirled around to face him.

“Yes Koga? What can I do for you?” Score one for me! Not a tremble or twitch in my voice to let him know something was the matter! I too had my pride. Love him I did but never at the expense of my own well being. Sounds selfish you say? I say if you don’t love and respect yourself how do you love and respect others? A warm hand settled on my shoulder and I had to work hard to repress the shudder that wanted to accompany it. One innocent touch and already my body craved more.

I shrugged his hand off and turned so I no longer faced him. Out of the corner of my eye I looked at his face. It was a face that I knew better than my own, so I was quick to notice the intensity in his eyes. Koga is many things, playful, hotheaded, flirtatious, and thoughtful; yes my list could go on. This intensity was new. It was as if he had a purpose that filled his soul. Great this it the part when he tells me that after the trial he now realizes that we are not meant to be. I should not take my suit to the elders because I would be damning us to a lifetime of misery from a loveless marriage. Well in this case better to take the preemptive strike.

I took a deep breath and prepared to play the “let’s leave him before he leaves you” game. (And no don’t huh me after reading that line. Everybody has at some point in their life been the dumper or the dumped.) Before I could get a word in he twirled me around and I found my mouth covered with lips as soft, firm and delicious as a hakutou. A soft tongue entreated mine to play with it. I could not help the moan that escaped. That damn wolf kissed me like he was trying to acquaint himself with my tonsils! Did I mention his hands were not idle? Arms grasped my body bringing it close to his. Proof of his arousal lay against my stomach. Just like that my virgin worries came up to say hello.

I pulled back from this kiss with my chest rising with each deep breath I took in an effort to calm myself. “Shy my omoimono?” Okay guilty as charged. I, Ayame the wolf, who chased down Koga like he was the last wolf lord in Japan had lost her nerve. “Come on, speak to me anata. I’ve come to announce my claim to you. You and I will be mates.” Blink. Did that wolf honestly expect me to get excited and jump up in joy? He made me wait 5 really fucking long years for him to see the light. If he wanted me as a mate he was going to have to earn it the old fashioned way.

Taking my hand, I took off his haori, baring his chest. He looked on puzzled. Dumb bastard still didn’t have a clue. I swiped my claw across my chest directly over my heart, and repeated it on his chest and watched as his blood welled up.

“My heart to your heart
Both souls entwined
A love that is true will never part
Am I worthy of love this you must choose?
Your intentions and claim must be proven
Or a loving heart you might lose
Trial by water, of earth and air
Ancient is the path you must travel
Come claim the chosen if you dare.”

With those words I disappeared. This was the oldest and most forgotten customs of the ookami tribes. A male was marked by the female his choice, after speaking the words, which were a sort in invocation, she would be transported miles away. Her scent, her aura, even her youkino would be suppressed. The male would have to rely on a spiritual bond to find her and he had to do it before the next lunar moon. Oh to be fair to both parties, the test was normally done when the next moon was expected a day or two later. Given a month anybody could find who they were looking for, spiritual bond or not.

I threw my head back and howled. I knew the sound would not reach Koga but the exhilaration of this was overwhelming. I never imagined he would actually claim me, or that it would be the way our ancestors did it. I began to run, heading towards the water. A quick dip to cool my flesh sounded good. Scenting the air I did not smell Koga anywhere near. I took off leaping from tree to tree. It was good mode of travel because if you were careful and didn’t break branches it was harder for someone to track you. On the ground grass, leaves, twigs, mud and other such things gave up their secrets readily.

I wondered if he would give chase or would he simply stay there. I laughed ruefully; I of all ookami should know just how much he enjoys a good run, a chase or even a game. I now lay in the cooling waters of the pond and relaxed my body, all the while pondering our futures. We had survived our test, but had we all passed? I know that Kagome believes that the tests were designed to see our innermost self. I think they were designed to view your faults. Only a fool believes that he is invincible. By our warriors knowing their limits, and then working to push them, we would prevail. Sesshomaru needed to learn compassion and feelings; Inu Yasha needed to learn respect and control; Miroku needed to learn balance; and Koga needed to learn humility. Not to say us girls weren’t perfect. Kagome’s lesson was in finding her own strength; Sango’s was the heart that she closely guarded; and Kikyo’s was about second chances. Mine? Well, mine was in loving someone enough to set them free.

So relaxed was I, that I didn’t notice that a certain ookami prince was drawing closer. When his youkino finally hit me, I jumped out of the pond and dressed. The wolf was hot, irritated and completely frustrated sexually! I stood still for a second to orient which direction he was traveling from and promptly took off in the opposite direction. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to be caught, thrown down and fucked within an inch of my life and mated. However my bruised pride let me know that after five years of me doing the chasing, that wolf had a lot to make up for! Besides the things that you work the hardest for are the things you value the most.

Keeping up with my treetop and rock jumping, I was going at it hard, but still not up to full strength. Kami did that change when I felt Koga drawing near. Damn how did he get so fast? He no longer had the Shikon-no-kakera in his legs. Yes well, less thinking and more running please, I informed my body. He howled and I had to fight my body’s response. It was the howl of an alpha telling his bitch what he intended to do to her when he finally laid his hands on her. It spoke of hidden desires and sated passions. Now part of me wanted to lie down with my legs spread showing my nether lips just to see his expression. But I was descended from a long line of fierce and proud bitches. To help him with this mating chase would pixie the essence of this trial and courtship.

So upward and onward I raced.

This was exhilarating in my own way. I have run for leisure, I have run to help hunt for the pack. I have even spent a significant amount of time running after the damn ookami who was currently chasing me! But never have I run feeling the spirits of all my ancestors, all my pack sister there supporting me and guiding me. Humbling let me tell you. Shit! No more time to muse, that bastard was close and getting closer. Did I mention that despite my best efforts of evading him, Koga was headed STRAIGHT towards me?

Desperation lent me speed. I ran reaching a velocity never before achieved, and yet he drew closer. I still could not see him, but his aura danced around the area. It called to me; it begged me to slow down. It whispered promises of things to come. Never had I heard of such a thing, it filled my longing heart with despair. ‘Stay, please stay’ it seemed to whisper. Ghostly hands stroked my cheek causing me to almost miss a step. Each step I took away from him seemed to weigh me down more. How? How could I leave someone who loved me so? Did I not desire to be Koga’s mate? Fucking ookami prince was using every trick in the book.

I silently wondered if it could work the reverse. Could I throw him off his game? I bared my teeth in frustration. True, this little courtship run of ours had lasted over five hours. But before I could figure a way out, warnings from my pack sisters had me dodging the clawed hand that almost grabbed me. Shit, it was time to duck back into the woods and see if I could lose Koga who was really on my tail at the moment. I ran to the deeper covers that the forest could provide. My strategy for keeping on the fringes hadn’t worked too well.
I swear to Kami I hesitated one measly fucking second and bam! I ended up face down in the dirt, with a very horny male on my back, fangs biting down on my shoulder in a sign for me to submit.

Holy Aizen Myō-ō! This was unexpected; claws ripped my clothing to shreds. Koga kept growling and yipping for me to acquiesce. I had two choices at this time yield or fight. I honestly don’t know what I would have done, but Koga clamped down harder and in the old tongue demanded that I succumb and show my submissiveness. Now maidenly fears aside, I was so turned on by this dominate Koga that I could barely suppress the shudders of anticipation that flowed thru my veins like molten lava.

I bared my throat, shifted my head to the side and whimpered. What a minute that was so not what I wanted to do! I was a warrior, submit was not in the lexicon of my language. My beast died laughing at that one. It wanted me to know that a warrior I may be, but first and foremost I was a female. And when I was around my chosen, the female in me would do whatever it deemed necessary to mate. Glad to know the bitch had withheld this information from me all this time. A woof of laughter and a quick snort advising me to pay attention soon followed.

Yep, in those few seconds of mental communication, Koga had managed to strip his clothes off and was rubbing a very hard part of his body against my ass. How I could be terrified and aroused at the same time was so beyond me. But there you have it, lust, need and fear all in one bundle of nerves. He didn’t release his hold, but his hands came around to cup my breast. Kneading and tugging the nipple, he soon had me writhing beneath him. While one hand continued the torture on my breast, the other began tracing circles on my abdomen, slowly working its way downward. I burned, but did not know what I needed. I could feel moisture gathering in my womanhood, as tiny tremors began to course through my body.

It seemed like forever before that clawed hand reached my hidden pearl. With no hesitation, he pressed down on it, and then he began a game of swirling, pressing, and flicking. I teetered on the brink of something, but what I didn’t know. With no conscious thought I began to beg, “Please Koga.” He growled in ookami. “Please what bitch? What can I, your soon to be mate, do for you?” I shuddered in my need. Wantonness that I did not know I possessed came to the forefront as I began to ride the fingers that he slipped inside my sheath. With one free hand, I reached up and grabbed his hair, growling. Tease me would he? My prince had better stop playing and get down to business. “Mine, you’re mine Koga, and you better claim me now or release me.”

Okay so I just added fuel to the fire. He shifted his hand from my breast and brought it around to my ass. “Submit bitch, and now your place. I am your mate and you will yield to me.” With that his hand descended down on my ass. Heat poured through my veins like molten liquid lava. Now, Kagome had explained bondage and dominance/submissive games, and while we were all titillated, I don’t think any of us females thought we would like it, but me likey!

Still I struggled, my need outweighing my common sense. “Mind your fucking Ayame, I will claim you, but it will be in my time, and at my pace.” And my ass got smacked three more times. I could barely hold still at this point, my body in such frenzy of unrelieved need. However I forced myself to still and show submissive behavior. “Ayame, such a beautiful mate I have.” With those words, the ookami prince who had teased me to the point of insanity gripped his cock and began to guide it inside my sheath. Glorious! Yes, it hurt slightly as my body adjusted to the unfamiliar width inside me. And puh-lease, I won’t even mention the pain of my maidenhead tearing, but eventually the need overcame the pain.

I soon found myself wiggling in a signal for Koga to start moving again. Move he did! Kami it was as if that ookami was trying to drill a hole to the other side of my body. His hand had moved from my ass back to my breast. Sensations bombarded me. I was so close to falling off the edge, and then I felt it. His cock knotted. And that bulge, that extra bit of width was all I needed to fall off the precipice. My orgasm slammed into me, claws sinking into the earth, as I threw back my head and howled. Koga chose that precise moment to bite down, fully marking me as his mate. You’d think the pain would have jolted me out of my orgasm. Instead it triggered a deeper and longer orgasm. Still I burned, all of a sudden insatiable. Then it hit me! Fuck I was in heat, and as much as I loved the idea of pups, now was not the time. Now normally during this heat cycle, Koga would not stop mating with me until I conceived. As a matter of fact, the knot in his cock would not subside until my heat passed. But to my surprise the knot retracted allowing Koga to pull out.

Quick as lightning he flipped me onto my back and wasted no time thrusting his cock inside me. Finally his lips claimed mine. The taste of Koga, my blood and arousal were in his mouth. Kami he was addicting, like a fine wine. This time, the coming together of our bodies was more of a gentler and leisurely pace, and yet no less intense. I could feel the inside of my sheath grasping his manhood tightly. My legs crossed on the small of his back, hands on his shoulders and in his hair. This felt more intimate; maybe it was because our eyes touched as deeply if not deeper than our bodies. Either way I loved it.

I could feel myself climbing that peak again as he continued to push his shaft in and out of my sheath, slowly gaining momentum. I myself was not idle; my hips had started to piston in time to his strokes. As his knot once again swelled and I began that journey into an orgasm, I bared my teeth and marked Koga. Finally our mating was complete. Sated I began to nod off, noticing how my mate withdrew himself from me and then used our pelts to make a bed for us to lie in.

“Mine.” Was the last coherent thought in our brains ……

Kags POV:

The next morning Ayame and Koga took off. Call it female intuition, but I knew they would come back mated. The remaining members of the group just milled around. I sparred with Maru, and even in mock battle that Taiyoukai does not play! I was limping out of there by the time we finished. And the poor dojo, well let’s just thank Kami that the dojo repairs itself instantly!

Miroku and Sango disappeared as well as Yasha and Kikyo. I sat on the marble bench in the garden thinking of my family in the future. I missed my momma and wanted to be able to share all the good things that were happening in my life. Falling in love, becoming a youkai, and most importantly finding out where I belonged in this world. So involved in thinking was I, that I literally jumped when Taisho asked if he could sit down. Unlike his son, he let out a booming laugh. What zest their father had for life. It was a pity it was cut short. But everything happens for a reason, right?

“I beg your pardon Kagome-sama, I wanted to talk to you before you went on to the next level. I have not had the opportunity to properly welcome you into our family, nor to talk to you.” He explained as his eyes crinkled in amusement. And with those words I, the Miko who never stopped chattering, turned silent. What if my new father-in-law didn’t like me? After all, I started out a ningen miko who was supposed to be in love with his younger son. Maybe he thought I was fickle or faithless. Maybe to him I had no honor. I am sure at this point my thoughts would have run away if he had not stopped me.

“Calm down daughter, I simply meant to welcome you to the family and to gift you this. This bracelet belonged to Sesshomaru’s mother. It was her courting gift from me. Upon her death, she asked me to keep it safe for the mate of our son. May this bracelet protect you and bring you all the joy that we shared. I know that I did not get to meet you until after my eldest son had claimed you, but you far surpassed everything I would have wished for him, my child. He has found a life partner who will help bear and lighten his burdens. You bring joy and laughter to his heart, and fill his heart with love. You did not mate with him because he was the Lord of the West. Indeed you mated with him in spite of it.

The West, its people, and my son are safe in your hands Kagome-Sama, and I for one am proud to call you daughter.” With that he stood and bowed low to me while holding out the bracelet. I hesitantly held my hand out and he let the bracelet spill into my hand. I looked at this great youkai, the father of my mate, and I felt happy and sad. Happy that he viewed me as a daughter, and sad that when our training was complete that I would be leaving my new father behind. I stood up and threw my arms around him, hugging him all the while crying tears of joy and sorrow.

“May I call you father?” I shyly asked him. When he nodded, I smiled at him. “Please call me Kagome, no honorific is needed.” We both sat down on the bench.

“Now tell me little one, why do you weep?” He questioned gently.

How best to answer that question? After all there were so many factors that made up my tears. “I guess you could say that I am crying because I have just gained a new father that I will have to give up when the training is completed. My own otousan died when I was young. And all though I can remember him, his loss is daily hurt that never truly leaves you. Now fate has once again placed me in the roll of losing a father.” She told him sadly.

“Ah. I cannot say that this Taisho is pleased with the thought of losing his sons, and their mates at the completion of the training. But look at it this way Kagome, I got to see what fine males my son’s have turned out to be, and I got to meet the females that they claimed. In a perfect world, I would get to see my son’s children and watch them grow into adulthood. I cannot spend eternity regretting what I have missed. Instead I should rejoice with all that I have been given.” This he said to me while looking out into the garden. Enough of our time had been spent on sadness, so I tried to lighten up the moment.

“Ne, father, you have seen Maru in his demon form. Well I was thinking about, when we transform we go on instinct correct?” He nodded in agreement. “So how is it that we don’t end up chasing sticks or running around, chasing our tails in circles like other dogs do?” With that statement I startled and surprised him. Seconds later, he threw his head back and roared with laughter. Don’t get me wrong I was glad to dispel the sorrow and replace it with happiness, but I had the sneaky suspicion I was the butt of a joke.

“Oh Kami-Sama, I have not laughed like that in ages. Yes Kagome, we are more aligned with out instincts during a transformation, but we still retain our youkai intelligence. That is why we do not mimic our less intelligent look-a-likes. But I will tell you when Maru was young; well let’s just say he was really PLAYFUL!”

I gazed at him temporarily struck stupid by the idea of a small Maru chasing his tail and fetching sticks. My small giggles became a belly laugh, which soon had tears streaming down my face. I even fell off the bench at one point. It was no surprise that my mate would find me like that. I heard him before I actually saw him. He demanded to know what was so funny. I looked at my new father and we both burst out laughing. The more we tried to stop the worse it became.

Thank Kami for interruptions, Koga and Ayame had arrived back, and we were due to meet with Kimi real soon. As we walked away, my mate informed me that we would finish this conversation later. So it was no wonder that I arrived at the dining area still laughing.

Kimi was there, already waiting for the last of us to straggle in.

“As you know you have all passed the trials. Each of you had an important lesson to begin your journey. The next level you will travel to will be Shizenkai. There you will learn to use elemental energy in battle. You will each be assigned a Kami for training. After you have mastered your individual techniques, you will have to work on combining them. Please know that each level you progress to will become more advanced, and more difficult to master. However, when you leave for earth, there will nobody who is your equal. Also, you will now be assigned your chambers by pairs. Each mated pair will have their own area. It has been a pleasure getting to know you all.”

With those last words the scenery around us including Kimi began to morph and change. Instead of being in a grand home with a dining area, we were in a kind of onshitsu. Lush vines of Kudzu, Suikazura climbed the walls. Trees of Kousa and Sakura could be seen. Plants of every type including Osmunda japonica, Aibika and Peony could be seen. I had a feeling we could stay here for eternity and still never finish counting all the plants types.

We turned at the sound of an opening door, only to see a stunning Goddess there. Hair that evoked thoughts of spring with its hue of green, which flowed down to the floor. Skin so white, you thought of flower petals. Eyes so blue they seemed to capture the morning sky. A narrow nose, and full lips finished her face. Taken separately, her features were amazing, put together they brought to mind a sensual innocence. The face of someone who could be motherly or wanton depending on the need, her eyes twinkled as if she knew what I was thinking! She wore a long flowing Kimono of yellow so sheer that you expected her to be clothed in air. She must have had seven layers on because you could not see any part of her body. Her obi was red with small white sakura blossoms embroidered on it.

“Greetings! I am Inari, Goddess of fertility and nature. I will be your hostess on this level. Today you will meet your individual sensei. Later, after our evening meal, you will be shown to your chambers. I would like to introduce Konohanasakuya-hime, Goddess of Earth; Fujin Kaninokaze, God of wind; Shina-To-Be, Goddess of Air; Raijin, God of Thunder and Lightening; Suijin, God of Water; Marishi-Ten, God of the Sun; Susanoo, God of the Sea and Storms; and Kagu-tsuchi, God of Fire. Each one of them will teach you one special skill. Then, they will train you on your base element. Kagome and Sesshomaru will be trained in all the elements, and as such will have to train longer and harder. Each of your Sensei knows who their student is. Please form a line, and when called, step forward and greet your sensei.”

Konohanasakuya-hime was an interesting contrast of green and browns. Her hair looked like the bark of a tree with leaves and vines intertwined. Her eyes were green as newly cut grass. Cheekbones that stood out of a small triangular face and thin lips finished off her face. She did not wear a kimono; instead she wore a hakama and a haori. She seemed nice, but everyone knew you did not fuck with Mother Nature. Eyes that held intelligence and will roamed the line. She already knew her student so to what purpose did she survey us? Her eyes landed on me and a smirk appeared.

Note to self, Kona-hime probably knew what I was thinking. Ten to one, she didn’t like it. And right now I would bet my entire life savings that she was going to open up her mouth and say, “Kagome.” Damn it! I hate it when I’m right! Why couldn’t I be wrong? Well, no time to whine! I stepped up to my sensei, bowed low, almost touching the ground and greeted her. We both moved to the side to give room for the next Kami.

Fujin the Kami of wind was next. He had gray hair, and all white eyes. His face looked old, yet young. He was everyone, and no one in the same glance. His white hakama and haori looked clean but tattered. He did not waste time analyzing the group. Instead he boldly strolled up to Inu-Yasha and said “Come, master of the Wind Scar.”

Shina-To-Be, Goddess of Air had hair of silver with eyes of crimson. Her face was full and childish looking. But one gaze in her eyes and you felt the power within. Like Kona-hime, she chose to wear hakama and haori, but hers looked like they were spun of cobwebs. She walked the line slowly, stopping a few times before she finally chose Miroku. He looked stunned.

Raijin, God of Thunder and Lightening dressed in all black. His hair and eyes matched his clothing. The only light was his skin. He walked up to Ayame, quirked an eyebrow and without a work bid her to follow him. Ayame was surprised, but followed obediently. I wondered if he even spoke.

Now there were just four Kami left Suijin God of Water, Marishi-Ten God of the Sun, Susanoo God of the Sea and Storms and Kagu-tsuchi God of Fire. It would be interesting to see who picked Maru, and who chose Sango, Kikyo and Koga. Maru I thought would be good with water but was harbored an inner storm. After all, isn’t hail another destructive form of water? And Sango, well she was fiery all right Kikyo would be good with the sun based element and Koga was another water element. I waited to see if I was right. I realized even if you have two of the same elements, their attacks did not have to be the same, nor did their styles have to match.

Imagine my delight when the Kami chose as I thought. Maru was assigned Susanoo, Koga got Suijin, Sango was claimed by Kagu-tsuchi and that left Kikyo with Marishi-Ten. We each went with our sensei to get acquainted and find out the training schedule. I knew that Maru and I had the elephant’s load of work. But it was a responsibility I was willing to take. After all, the fate of the earth was on the line! I prayed for wisdom and the ability to learn all my lessons well.

After a lengthy meeting I went back to meet up with Maru. I was anxious to compare notes. What would he, the master of battle, have to say about his new sensei and everything else? Only time would tell ……

Japanese Glossary

Hakutou - White Peach
Aizen Myō-ō - is the god of love and lust
Shizenkai – realm of nature
Onshitsu – greenhouse, conservatory; glasshouse

Plant types –
Kudzu - is a climbing, woody or semi-woody, perennial vine
Suikazura - Japanese Honeysuckle
Osmunda japonica – flowering fern
Sakura – cherry blossoms
Kousa - Dogwood
Aibika – flowering plant in the hibiscus family
Peony – type of Chinese flower found in Japanese gardens

Note- all the Japanese plants & Kami are real names from Wikepedia. I have taken them and molded them for my plot! (Shameless I know…)