Of Gold and Adamant

Letting Go

I wish I loved you
The way you want
I cannot give you
What you need
So here we stand
You in tears
I feel them too
I walk away
Wishing you love
Wanting you to know
This is the time
To let go

I hope you know
How special you are
The way the stars
Shine in your eyes
When you smile at me
Still I feel
So strong inside
That this just wasn’t
Meant to be
So I am going away
I cannot stay
This is the time
To let go

Someday you will see
How right this is
How wrong we are
For each other
I do love you
Just not how you want
Now you are free
And if you pass by
Know I still care
About the time we shared
But I love another
So be happy for me
As I will be for you
So now is the time
To let go

***********************************************************************************

Shippo didn’t bother putting clothing on. It was apparent Choukichi was no longer ‘pure’. He would not be so damn gentle.

“Choukichi…..”

Shippo growled. Choukichi lay naked on his bed as Sven had told him to do.

“Yes my Lord……”

Shippo frowned. Sven had done a good job of teaching seduction to Choukichi. He was indeed a beautiful sight laying there touching his flesh as if inviting Shippo to join him.

“Stop that. I know what Sven has done. You are to blame as well, but I will deal with that later.”

Choukichi immediately stopped and moved over to the floor getting on his knees bowing before his Alpha.

“Please do not punish him severely. I did not want to do anything, but he insisted if I did not I would displease you.”

Shippo touched his cousin’s hair gently and then pulled it roughly back.

“You fucked him taking his male virginity from me. I forgave you when you became a beta; I even was so generous as to offer you trainers to insure that this decision was what you wished for. You could have gone to one of them, but it is obvious Sven felt that your stubborn choices would make him need to act. It is your fault he felt thus and therefore you will be forced to the trainers after I am done with you cousin.”

Pulling Choukichi roughly to the bed Shippo proceeded to get the oils so he was at least slick. In fury he then thrust deep within Choukichi making his cousin scream.

“You wanted this so silence…….”

Choukichi cried as Shippo thrust into him. Sven never said this part would hurt so much.

“Please……….”

Shippo growled.

“Please what? Be gentle? Show love? You forced your attentions on me Choukichi and I am done with you. I will indeed mate you, but for how long I will not tell.”

Shippo pulled out of Choukichi flipping him over onto all fours.

“Do you want to feel pleasure?”

Shippo ground out.

“Please…just stop…..I am sorry……”

Choukichi begged as tears spilt. Shippo felt bad, he never meant to be so terrible to his cousin, but he was so angry. Shippo pulled Choukichi into his arms.

“I am sorry………I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I………..”

Shippo felt so damn betrayed and so angry with Sven he took it out on his cousin not wanting to hurt his beloved.

“Look Choukichi, I can’t mate you. It won’t work out for us. I am in love with Sven. This isn’t how it is supposed to feel. I will show you as my last act of compassion what sex should be, but it will not be something I ever do again. I am not the man you once loved. Eventually we will hate each other and you deserve better than that. Right now all I can see is you with Sven and I swear I wanted to kill you both. I don’t want to be like that.”

Choukichi looked through his tears.

“I will die without you. I promise I will kill myself now if I cannot be with you.”

Shippo grabbed Choukichi by his throat.

“Do not manipulate me with guilt. You will need to start thinking of others Choukichi. If you ever loved me or do love me you will never say such things again. I will kill you myself when the time comes if that is your wish, but it will be at my convenience.”

Choukichi stopped and trembled.

“Please, is there no place in your heart for me?”

Shippo sighed.

“I do love you Choukichi. Just not how you wish me to. Now I can show you pleasure if you wish or you can do the right thing saving it for someone who will love you as you want them to. Personally I would like to end this now before your heart is trampled like mine is.”

Choukichi wanted one moment with Shippo. He was selfish in that, but he would never ask for anything again. He hated letting go, but Shippo was right. He had changed into someone cold and he wasn’t the man he once loved. That man was only in his memories.

“Please show me, I was a virgin when you took me. Sven wanted me to only be with him……….”

Shippo felt ill.

“You were still a virgin?”

Choukichi nodded.

“Choukichi…………”

Shippo stated softly feeling like a fucking asshole from the pits of hell. He really thought the two of them had done everything together.

“It is ok…….”

Shippo growled.

“No it is not!”

Shippo started to pace. Then he bent down and kneeled before his cousin.

“Please forgive me…I did not know……”

Shippo then began to nuzzle Choukichi.

“I forgive you cousin. I love you.”

Choukichi stated softly as they fell into one another’s embrace. That night Shippo gave Choukichi more pleasure then he ever felt in his life only to leave him in the middle of the night.

“Choukichi promise me you will find love and be happy.”

Choukichi through tears nodded.

“I promise.”

Shippo kissed his lips one last time.

“You will be packed tomorrow Choukichi and you will go to the trainers. I will though insist upon you thinking about taking your Alpha position again. You are not meant to be a beta.”

Choukichi nodded and through tears he said his last goodbye to his cousin. Shippo was right; he had to move on with his life. It was time to grow up.

*************************************************************************************

Sven sat in the bath wishing to Kami that his ass would stop aching. He expected Shippo to be upset, but not to spank him like he was a child. It fucking hurt too.

Hoping Choukichi was ok he washed his hair and cleaned every inch of his body as his beloved Alpha had ordered him to do including all orifices that had been touched by Choukichi.

When he was done he still couldn’t get comfortable on the bed having to lay down on his stomach. His ass had to be blistered. It would have been less painful to be beaten…or maybe not.

Sven was almost comfortable when Shippo entered the room looking tired and still quite angry.

“My Lord you are back……”

Shippo just grunted and went to the baths.

“Get over here Sven and quit calling me Lord. We are alone you idiot.”

Sven got out of bed and went to the bath. Shippo was sitting looking rather frustrated.

“Are you completely clean?”

Sven nodded.

“Good then wash me.”

Sven was happy to comply except when he bent over Shippo slapped his ass again.

“That is for trying to help me when it is not your place.”

Sven yelped and Shippo grinned a bit.

“I am sending Choukichi away Sven.”

Sven stopped washing Shippo’s hair and Shippo pulled him down.

“But why? It was my fault….don’t blame him……”

Shippo smiled at his mate.

“Sven, I do not love Choukichi like I love you and Fuu. I do not even love Fuu as I love you. Would it not be wrong to hold someone back from the love that they deserve?’
“Not that you deserve my love you whore. I am still very angry with you. Just be glad your Alpha still loves you.”

Sven looked down at the water.

“Will you ever forgive me?”

Shippo sighed.

“I will never forgive you Sven if you do not keep washing me.”

Sven then hurried back to what he was doing. Shippo quickly grabbed his wrist.

“Do you always wish to act like a servant to me or are you doing this because you love me too?”

Sven felt himself being pulled down into a deep kiss. Soon the two of them were throwing caution to the wind as Sven let Shippo take him to heaven.