A Blind Heart

No fate than what we make – Trial from the House of Jade

I don’t own Inu Yasha and company. Just the plots and situations I place them in!

AN: Gomen Ne all it took so long! This chapter turned out so long I chopped it into two chapters! Read, enjoy & Review! ALSO wonderful news Phoenix Wolf has agreed to be my new beta! Woo Hoo! Happy Dance!

Maru POV

I looked down at my mate. I could tell she had some hentai thoughts running through her head that involved love play in the water. My heart swelled and a very unfamiliar emotion threatened to choke me. Yes, I wanted Kagome earlier, and even thought I loved her. But after mating her, it all paled in comparison. Finally the words of my father “Do you have someone to protect” made sense. This feeling was all encompassing. I would have never thought that this Sesshomaru was capable of such depths of feelings. This was a love without boundaries, without limitations.

I looked into her eyes and tried to show her what she meant to me, as I am not a youkai of many words. Her eyes went from sensual to soft and wondering. “This Sesshomaru is greatly pleased with his mate. You honor my house and me by becoming the Lady of the West. Aijou mate.” Well it wasn’t moonlight and roses, but a Taiyoukai is not known for his sentimentality. Words of poetry and romance did not come easily to me. I believed that actions speak louder than words. I would spend eternity making sure that she was always happy in her choice of mate.

My mate threw her arms around my neck and held on for dear life, I could smell the slight scent of tears. “Arigato!” She whispered softly into my hair. I was puzzled. What could this magnificent creature being thanking me for? She looked up at me with eyes of emerald, shimmering with unshed tears. “For loving me silly,” she giggled. I closed my eyes; Kami that sound was on my top ten favorite sounds. I tightened my arms around her waist. This was one of the times that I did not want to let go. I found my respite from the world, my own nirvana and it was in the arms of my mate.

We proceeded to the onsen and romped around like children. My Kagome learned that a youkai can hold their breath a long time. And I learned that a little bit of fang was not necessarily a bad thing. Parting in the early morning so my little kitten could take a well-deserved rest was not easy. I knew instinctively why our Hosts were keeping us separated, and let me tell you it was enough to make this Sesshomaru want to beat that mangy wolf until he agreed to mate with Ayame immediately. However, I have been informed, no scolded heavily by my mate that one should not interfere in matters of the heart. All the males, including myself were to mind our business, and only offer advice when solicited. As if this Sesshomaru would be lead around by his mate!

And then I remembered my mate’s threat to ignore me for a month. Dog demons are sociable by nature and being ignored by your mate or pack is unbearable, so I would do the smart thing, and like countless males before me allow my mate to dictate the rules. A strong willed bitch is truly a scary thing! A strong willed bitch with Miko powers and a fiery temper was even scarier. Not that this Sesshomaru will admit this out loud. I do have a reputation to preserve.

After our rest, we met with Kimi and had another meeting. It seems that this would be the last week spent in the House of Jade. Prior to our leaving, each of us were to be tested. This was a test of strength of mind, body, and spirit that would bring us to our breaking point and then push us beyond even that. Sesshomaru wondered what kind of test this would be. The only information they saw fit to bequeath us was that the males and females would be tested separately. It was a measure of our skills that each group had managed to combine attacks. Now the heavens wanted proof that we could fight our inner demons and win. I looked over at Inu Yasha. I would have to tell the whelp to pass the test. Taisho’s never lost, and we were not about to start and bring shame to our line.

Kimi smiled at me and said that it wasn’t that kind of test. As my mate would say, ‘Whatever’, I did however stop myself from rolling my eyes. Regardless of the outline or requirements of this test, we would be victorious. Each person was allowed to bring one weapon of choice. ‘The question was, which weapon would serve me best? I would go with Tensaiga after all this was the fang of my father and would remind me of my proud heritage.’ Sesshomaru gathered the males outside and spoke to them.

“This trial by fire that we have to endure is only one of many steps that we must take in order to defeat the greatest evil our world has ever seen. This Sesshomaru will pass this test, not for pride or honor, but for the fate of my mate and our future. Reach deep into yourselves; find whatever you need to form your resolve. We are Youkai; we keep company amongst the top ranked fighters of our kind. Our skills for war are all we have to offer to the Kami’s. We fight for the future!”

Inu Yasha looked at me with wonder in his eyes. “I fight for Kikyo and for the pups I hope to one day have. I fight for a better world for us to raise them. I fight for my extended family, youkai and human alike! I fight for the future!”

Miroku spoke up next “I fight for Sango and the heartache she has endured at the hands of evil. I fight to protect the humans who cannot defend themselves. I am a weapon of Kami-Sama! I fight for the future!”

As one we all turned to look at Koga. What would the Ookami Prince say? “I fight for Lady Ayame. I fight for the lands of the East, West, North and South. I fight for all youkai and ningens. I fight for the young and for the old, those who cannot take up arms. I fight for a chance to mate with Ayame. I fight for the future!”

And with that we threw our heads up and roared. We were invincible. We had no fear. But we should have. Yes we should have.

To know thy self…

Yasha POV:

One minute we were roaring our impending victory to the heavens and the next I was in a clearing completely alone. My keen sense of smell was overwhelmed by blood. Copious amount of blood as far as the naked eye could see. What the hell? It was obvious there was some kind of massacre that had occurred recently. I swallowed hard to try to overcome my urge to retch. I closed my eyes and found my focus. I almost wish I hadn’t. With the calm came the ability to differentiate the various donors of blood. Fuck, I could smell Kikyo, Kagome, Sango, Rin, Shippo, Sesshomaru, Koga, Miroku and even Jaken in the blood pool. I began to run with a speed I had never achieved before. The world blurred around me as my focus became one thing; find the ones I loved to help them.

I refused to think that they were dead, because if they were, then I had nothing left to fight for. I skidded to a stop. ‘Wait a minute. What if this was part of the trial? Did I have what it took to win my trial? And what was the key to my win?’ I don’t know what made me jump. Perhaps my beast was not as burdened by my thoughts and just went on instinct. Whatever it was I dodge a tentacle as it came flying at me. I turned to look and sure enough it was that vile hanyou Naraku! “Ah Inu Yasha, changed for the better ne? Baka, when will you learn that no matter what you become, you’re still not enough. Not strong enough not smart enough and not fast enough! You, Inu Yasha, the second born of The Great Taisho, will never be enough to measure up to your father. And you will never be enough to defeat Raidon and myself. Always second best, Inu Yasha the haisha …”


Chikushou, did the bastard really think that I was going to lie down and let him win because of some fucking speech? My life had been heavily influenced by him. My failed first attempt with Kikyo, my relationship with Kagome and my pack, good, bad, or ugly, Naraku had influenced all the parts of my life. I thought about what everyone would have said to me, the cheers and encouragement, and in that minute I reached a moment of utter clarity. I realized that even if all the people that I loved died, I would have to fight to win for their honor, and in their memory. If they had passed onto the next life giving their all for the future, then I, second son of the Great Taisho, mate to Kikyo and member of an Inu-youkai pack could do no less.

I was invincible. Not due to any great youkai power, nor weapon. No I was unbeatable due to my heart. My heart; it held the love of a son, a mate, a brother, and a pack member within its walls. The heart I denied having because of the loss that I felt when someone I loved went away. Well no more, I would not deny my heart’s desire or strengths anymore. I held up the Tetsaiga and ran towards Naraku. “Hey dajaka, are you going to talk all day or fight? I will fight you until my last breath.” And with that the fight was on. As Kags would say, “Just bring it,” and so I did. Tentacles flying from all directions, I was grateful to see my new speed allowed me to dodge them effortlessly. My sword began to glow pink, a side effect of my mating with Kikyo.

I sliced off the tentacles and spider arms that kept trying to spear me. Unlike previous times they did not regenerate. Indeed he was forced to detach them from his body before the purification from my sword could travel up from his appendages. Hot damn this new power rocked! I mean using it in practice was one thing. Kicking Naraku’s ass literally was another. I unleashed a Wind Scar that had a little miko wave in it, and was gratified to see Naraku writhe on the ground in pain. He began to steadily pump miasma into the air. From older battles I knew this was his ‘I’m getting ready to run’ signal. Not today!

I gave him my deadliest attack of diamond and wind scar combined. This was deadlier due to the miko wave, and that each diamond was individually coated in miko power for maximum destruction! I watched as Naraku was destroyed. I thought I would feel triumphant or joyous about winning. Instead it was a profound feeling of relief for the future. Finally the dark hanyou who was responsible for thousands of deaths and destructions of countless villages was dead. Anti-climatic it was. There was no duel that lasted for hours, it had come down to just him and me.

I fell to my knees to thank the Kami’s. And felt an overpowering sense of evil. I could not see anyone with my eyes, yet every instinct that I had was screaming a warning to get out and get out now. I closed my eyes and tried to sense where this evil was exactly, but it was nowhere and everywhere at the same time. How did you fight and defeat something that had no body, just an evil aura? I sat on the ground and began to meditate in order to construct a barrier around myself. Yeah, I know I have a record of jumping in and then thinking later, but the mating between Kikyo and I had somewhat calmed me down. I learned that brain and brawn are needed to successfully win a battle.

Waves of evil energy kept assaulting my barrier. I strained, knowing that I could not maintain my barrier for long. I had not trained long enough to sustain that type of power for a long period of time. I readied myself to jump and attack where I felt the most concentration of evil. Now! I pushed off the ground and made sure I had plenty of clearance for my descent down. I slashed using the Wind Scar. When I landed on the ground I could tell it had little effect. “Surely Inu Yasha you did not think that your most simplistic attack would kill me?”

“Akuryou show yourself, or are you too much of a coward to come out and fight?” I challenged. What emerged was something I have never come across in all of my travels. It was a demon of shadows, a male with no form, a body that could not be touched. So the question was, could it be hurt, and could it be killed? He raised a hand and I felt an energy blade slash at my haori. Searing pain was the only thing I felt, my world narrowed down to that throbbing intense pain.

Chikushou, the pain kept increasing; the damn demon had used a poison. This was worst than my aniki’s poison, and believe me, that is saying something. Amongst the world of Youkai’s, Sesshomaru’s was in the top 3. Of the other two, one was a scorpion youkai, and the other a snake. Ningens and youkai alike would fall to Sesshoumaru’s poison. Only difference was the amount of the dosage.

My shadow opponent seemed amused by my slow suffering and dying. Glad to know I had some value. “So Inu Yasha, are you ready to admit defeat yet? Bow before me and I will be gracious and kill you quickly. Continue to defy me and I will make you pray for your death.” Obviously this asshole did not know me. The word quit was not in my vocabulary. I may have not embraced my heritage but I came from a long and honorable line of Inu-Youkai. If I had to meet my death today, so be it. I would die with no regrets and with honor. I used my sword to help me stay on my feet. “Kieuseru, this Inu Yasha, second prince of the Land of the West will never bow to anyone! Come, Akuryou and meet your fate!”

I knew deep down in my heart I would never see Kikyo again, or any other members of our pack. I pulled every ounce of energy from my body and sent it into Tetsaiga. Never before had my sword swelled to such a size. In that moment before I released my wave, there was a silence as if the very world held its breath. I gave my patented cocky grin and released my wave. My body fell to the ground in slow motion. Faces of loved ones flashed in my mind and then the world faded to black. I awoke screaming, back in the castle with my father looking down at me. Some fucking test! At the time I went through it, there had been a layer of reality to it. I had just a vague memory that it was test. Once the battle began my world had narrowed and all thoughts of testing had left.

“Son, it’s not a test if you know the sacrifices you make don’t mean anything. Think back on it. Did your epiphany regarding your feelings seem any less real at the time? Did you not feel the need and devotion, and hai, even duty borne from your love of your mate and pack? The sacrifice of your life, did it not feel real, the wrenching sensation of your soul leaving your body with your final selfless attack? I will tell you, I have never been prouder of you than at that moment! You are a worthy son, and have brought great honor to the house of Inu.” And with that the old man bowed. I am not a person who handles effusive praise well. “Yamete old man, I sacrificed myself because it was the right thing to do”

“Not true Yasha, each phase of the test was designed to teach you something about yourself that you did not know, or would not admit to yourself. So let’s take a walk in the garden and talk this over. This is a rare father son moment you know.” Who knew my old man had some goof ball in him. Hard to see where Sessho got that whole stick up my ass demeanor from. I walked out to the garden and sat on the bench. We could have our damn moment, but I was not going to open up and start sharing first! “Son, tell me what lessons you think you learned from your test?”

I looked up into the branches of the sakura tree we were sitting underneath, and pondered a moment. “I learned that the size of my heart did not depend on how well I loved, rather it was how much I was loved. I squandered the love and affection that I was given, mainly because besides my mother no one had ever been nice without wanting something in return. Kikyo saw something in me other than being a half-breed, and so did Kagome. Thanks to those two phenomenal females I got a pack, and even better than that I found my place in the world. My strength comes not from my sword alone; it comes from my heart. I also learned that even if I lost all who I loved, I would fight to the death so their lives and deaths had meaning. The last thing I learned was I was capable of digging down and finding hidden reserves, I am more than what I seem, because they all helped me become a better male.”

Out of the corner of my eye I observed my father. He seemed to be lost in thought. Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed this little father son talk but a small part of me was sad that I had missed this growing up. I vowed that I would be a great father and mentor to my own children. He patted me on the leg and smiled. “Those are fine lessons indeed. Why don’t we go spar a little in the dojo while we wait for the others to come back from their individual trials?” I must have looked confused because he clarified. “Each individual test ranges in duration and severity depending on the lessons to be learned, and the stubbornness of the person.” I threw my head back and laughed hard. I looked at my otousan and said; “Guess we’ll be seeing Sessho sometime next week then!” The Great Taisho looked stunned for a moment and then threw his back and roared with laughter.

Suddenly the day looked brighter…………………..

Koga’s POV

Damn from the House of Jade for this! Surrounded by the corpses of my clan, once again I had failed to protect them. I was a useless leader. I roared out my grief, who had done this and why? I vowed to avenge my fallen brothers and sisters. My head snapped out as Kagura stepped out of the shadows with her signature smirk on her face. Damn mesuinu! I don’t care if it kills me, I will have my vengeance. “What’s the matter Ookami prince? Lost your best friend? Or should I say lost your best girl?” Her fan was raised, which meant advantage Kagura.

Chikushou, what the fuck did that mean. Did Naraku have Ayame? If so I was going to render him limb from limb if he touched one hair on her head. “Are you in a hurry to go hell, little geisha? This time you have gone too far! I will not rest until I have killed you!” With that statement, I began to attack Kagura. The damn wind witch just kept dodging my hits, playing with me a twisted, sadistic game. I stopped charging her and took a moment to gain some calm. Obviously the method of crazy attacks was not working. I pulled my sword from my side. Its name was Kaimetsu, the sword of destruction.

With no conscious effort, I summoned its deadliest attack. It was the attack of Chigatana Yamainu Kaimetsu, which would ensure the destruction of the wind youkai. She wanted to be free, as was the wind? Well I would scatter her very ashes to the four winds! I saw her smile as she danced back to avoid the attack. However, I gave her an evil grin. Kagura had never seen this attack. The beauty of this attack was that it would come from nowhere, and everywhere. There literally was no way to dodge or outmaneuver this attack. Once the attack was released, I watched with no emotion as the mistress of the wind was destroyed.

I began to scent where the damn hanyou had taken my mate to be. I started running in the direction that I thought I felt her. Time held no meaning as I tracked her down. When I arrived some 150 kilometers away from where my battle with Kagura had taken place, I was stunned to find a naked and terrified Ayame cowering at the feet of Naraku. I could tell by her scent that she had been violated and tortured. Bruises healed while I looked at her. She refused to look up at me even when I spoke to her directly. I could see her folding in on herself, trying to lose herself in her own little world. My world bled to red as my anger took hold. He would pay for each cut, bruise, and moment of pain she had suffered.

I was going to disembowel that dark hanyou; I would feed him his intestines. My cruel visage would be the last thing his eyes saw before I scooped them out! ‘Okay, now on top of everything else, I am channeling Sesshomaru!’ I thought humorlessly. That Taiyoukai can think of ten different inventive ways to kill an opponent in 30 seconds. You have to appreciate that kind of skill and talent. I powered up my sword again, and got to work. After 20 minutes of trading blows with Naraku, I had to re-evaluate my situation. I was bleeding, and slowing down. Ayame had shown no recognition of her surroundings or of me. I collapsed to my knees. Naraku, being Naraku, had to narrate my defeat. Great there is nothing like hearing how you’re a loser, and why you won’t win to make an ookami feel special. I reached for Ayame.

If I died, I wanted to be in her arms. Together we would greet the next world. “Ayame, look at me.” I grabbed her arms, and she began to struggle. “Shush, it’s alright, it’s me, the baka ookami who made you wait forever. Come back to me my en’en one. I need you, please. See me, need me, want me, as I need you! We can defeat this kusotare, and send him to hell where he belongs.” I wanted to cheer as her head came up. Even through the pain in her eyes, I could see Ayame was still in there. I took off my haori, or what was left of it, to cover her up.

We stood together both on shaky legs, and turned to face Naraku. There was so much I wanted to say to Ayame. How I didn’t care if she had been raped, she was still mine. In fact I wanted to shout to the heavens that I loved her more for enduring what she had and surviving. Kami! I would have been blessed to have her for a mate. Her temperament matched her hair. She was like a faiasutoomu, you could warm yourself by her, or you could go up in flames. Either way you felt the heat. Ayame would have made a great mate, ruler and mother to our pups. It was just too bad that I was a baka who took so long to see the truth.

Ayame picked up her short sword from the ground. Together, we began to move as one, heading towards our destiny. In a flash of light the battleground exploded. The last thing I screamed was Ayame’s name. The world faded to black after the initial burst of white. There was a sensation of floating. And I woke up to find myself falling on the floor in our dojo. ‘Fuck that hurt. Couldn’t they be just a little gentle?’ I was laying flat on my back, and I pondered everything I had just gone through. For the first couple of minutes, all you think is about the test, and then you lose all perspective, you’re just in the moment. My feelings for Ayame were resolved. I knew now that I had to make that fiery youkai my own.

I thought about the dead pack and promised myself no matter what we would always go forward towards the future with an open heart. We the Ookami tribe of East would never yield and never give up…

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Japanese Glossary

Haisha - the defeated; vanquished; loser
Chikushou – damn, son-of-a-bitch
Dajaka - coward
Kieuseru - to disappear; to get out of sight; to die; (in imperative) to fuck off
Akuryou - evil spirit
Mesuinu – female dog, bitch
Yamainu – Japanese wolf
Chigatana – bloody sword
Kaimetsu – destruction, annihilation
en’en – fiery
Kutabacchimae - Drop dead, you bastard; fuck you!
Kusotare - vulgar epithet; shithead; bastard
Faiasutoomu* fire storm (celebratory bonfire)
Ofudas – blessed piece of paper (?)
Shakoju – Miroku’s Staff
Meidou Zangetsuha – Crescent move from Hades or the underworld (Makes sense since Sesshomaru’s sword cuts threw the barer of souls)
Aishiteru - I love you