Fallen

Chapter 22

Sesshomaru sighed silently in contentment as he looked down upon his Kagome sleeping in his arms since she'd fallen asleep after their last coupling. Lazily his eyes traced the lines of her figure as he looked her over as her lover. Absently his fingertips traced imaginary patterns on her flesh on her hip. Lost in his thoughts it took several moments for his mind to realize the shape he was tracing began with two points roughly spaced the distance of ...fangs!?

Moving as quickly as he dare, so as to not wake her, Sesshomaru shifted so the he could see the spot on her hip that had captured his undivided attention. Closing his eyes he tried to recall when he would have bitten her, but his thoughts were still hazy from losing control to his blood beast. Deciding that it was best to stay silent on the matter Sesshomaru put it from his mind so that he could further think on the consequences later. He cared for her more than any other creature he'd ever been in contact with his entire long life, but still he knew nothing about the “love” she'd spoken of.

What did it mean to “love” someone? Aside from an old nursemaid from when he was a child, he could never recall feeling even wanted let alone cared for. His father had mated his mother out of duty and cared little for her and in turn him. A fact that had been driven home when His father had taken the human Izayoi as his mate as well and sired Inuyasha, the son he wanted. The thought hurt him deeply and angered him at the same time but before his disquiet could waken Kagome he pushed the unhappy thoughts aside.

Kagome “loved “ him, cared for him so what did the past matter? She wanted him and wept for him. No other being in his life had done such a thing for him, so what did it matter that she was human. She was his and that was all that mattered. Now that there was no way to change it what did it matter if he did not inform her of her new status? He frowned at his thoughts. When had he become so dishonorable? Of course he would tell her. His mate and lover deserved the best and he would settle for no less.

A sudden feeling of dread washed over him as he recalled some of the things written in one of Kagome's text books. The world Kagome came from had very different views on the physical aspect of relations. He recalled reading something about the rate of separations and divorce, though he had no real understanding of the term it was not hard to figure out. What if she had no desire to stay with him? What if she did not wish to be his mate and the “love” she spoke of was a temporary feeling? When he revealed the truth what if she was unhappy? Could he bear to see her weep because of him?

The answer was clear, He simply could not tell her until she asked him, he would pretend to know nothing of it. Though it was wrong of him and he knew it the thought of losing Kagome convinced him of the certainty of his decision. They would be lovers. He'd given her no promises and so if she walked away he would not be the one at fault. Yes, that was how it would be. What he did not say was not a lie and he wasn't hiding it from himself so...

Kagome sighed happily as she began to stir. He froze at the tender way his name spilled in a whisper from her lips. Snuggling closer to him Kagome rested her head upon his chest over his heart and nuzzled him. It was such a simple motion but to Sesshomaru it was the most glorious thing he'd ever felt. It was a silent gesture of affection from his kind and it spoke volumes to him. Closing his eyes he willed all of the thoughts that had held him confident that he needed to lie to her away. This was Kagome. His only and dearest friend. She was the one who understood him though not many could or would. Had he learned nothing from his father? One did not begin a relationship with lies. It was deplorable. He'd given her a vow of protection so why could he not give her all of himself as well?

Anxiously he drew a breath as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. It was all or nothing and for the first time in his long life he was more afraid than ever before. Their were so many things that could go wrong as he told her. Frantically he searched for something to distract his over active mind from wandering down the paths that led him to think he shouldn't tell her before he lost his nerve. Then his mouth went dry as Kagome's cobalt eyes met his with a look of utter adoration and trust. “Good morning, Sesshomaru.” she said softly raising up to place a light kiss on his lips. “What are you fretting over so early?” she asked.

Softly Sesshomaru traced the mark again bringing Kagome's attention to the area. The look in his eyes and the emotions he was feeling gave away his reason for fretting and though Kagome did not know completely the meaning of the mark she was certainly aware of the discomfort it was causing him. Smiling gently Kagome took his clawed hand in her small one and raised it to her lips. “It's alright. Whatever it is. Its okay you don't have to say anything till you are ready.”

Closing his eyes he sighed softly as he felt warmth spread over him. Inside he smiled to himself as he knew with out a doubt that he'd chosen right with Kagome. When the time was right he'd tell her everything and then together the two of them would face the consequences of this journey. Though the idea should have repulsed him as before this time it just felt right to be with Kagome.

This time as the vortex drew them down in to its unkown depths Sesshomaru held Kagome tightly to his chest surrounding her with in the protection of his strong arms. And in her ear he whispered again his vow to her that she was under his protection and a single word that made Kagome shiver with the intensity of the emotions it invoked- “Mine.”