I am the Moon

A/n: I do not own Inuyasha, Rumikio Takahashi does.

Traitors and Tears

The scent of tears was heavy in the room. I dragged myself from the bed and went by the window. We had been at the Summer Palace for over a week. The palace servants were perplexed by my melancholy. My mother was actively searching for the mole but she kept a low profile. She was so generous and sweet, the servants and retainers opened up to her. I would every so often force the brew that enabled me to keep down food. My mother would brush against my mind just to strengthen me. I could see the worry on Jun's face every time she would inquire after me. She reminded me of Mayu and I would muster a weak smile. The pain in my chest was ever present and it weighed heavily. I kept a vigil by the window and searched the horizon for my errant mate. My mother breezed into the room and picked up brush and started to run it through my hair. She would do this when I was upset as a pup and it still calmed me.
“I do not know why you have not sent that bitch Xiu Jaun packing.” She commented as she plaited my hair.
“I despise her sister Annchi more.” I said hollowly.
“Why is that? She is sweet.” My mother asked in surprise.
“She desires Sheng as her mate. She has given herself to him numerous times.” I said.
“I see. Well despise her then but remember he chose you.” She said calmly.
“No, he left me.” I said angry.
“Hush now. Your pups will be able to soon feel your emotions.” She stated soothingly.
I looked up from my self pity.
“Have you masked our presence heavily?” I asked raising my brow.
“Oh hai. No one would know we were here.” She said laughing.
“He comes.” I said standing.
I went to the window again and saw him on the outskirts of the grounds. I also saw Annchi heading towards him. He was reading correspondence, he enjoyed reading immensely and he was deep into the letter.
“I swear I will kill the bitch!” I seethed.
“Go to him but keep your aura masked.” She commanded.
I stealthily moved through the palace and made my way to the garden where he would have to pass. Annchi was there already and she had a smile on her pretty face. I could not help the change in my eyes. She was unknowingly challenging me and my beast wanted to rip her limb from limb.
“Sheng.” She whispered.
He looked up from his reading and I had to stop from crying out. He looked tired and worn; and yet still beautiful. His hair framed his face and he wore a light brown pein fu. He stared at Annchi and smiled a little.
“Hello Annchi. Have you fared well?” he asked.
She came to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Anger consumed me and he did not stop her affections. I had to keep from spilling my own blood at the moment. My beast was clawing at me. Annchi reached up to draw him into a kiss and I did see him stiffen but he did not stop her.
“Bastard.” I snarled in a whisper.
He looked up but he could not sense me. I had hidden my self well and my aura masked. Annchi kissed him deeper and I could not stop my hatred. I left my place from behind a garden sculpture and walked away from them both.
“You did not say that Lady Asuna was here!” he whispered harshly to her.
“So?” she answered.
“Annchi I cannot do this now.” He said pulling away from her.
“What? I have not seen you in months!” she cried.
“Enough!” he said.
I felt him coming after to me but I kept walking. If he had even tried to open our bond I would not have felt it. He grabbed my arm and I jerked away from him violently.
“Do not touch me.” I hissed.
“What are you doing here?” he asked me in a harsh whisper.
“You are killing me. Then I suppose that is your plan after all. I said do not touch me.” I yelled.
“Hush now. This is not the proper place for such a private conversation.” He said in a nasty tone.
“You let her touch you. I hate you.” I snarled at him.
He grabbed me and I allowed him to drag me to his rooms. He pushed me in roughly and slammed the door behind him.
“Why are you here?” he asked in a pained voice.
“Now I have no idea. How many bitches did you bed on your way here?” I asked in a raw voice.
“Asuna!” he snarled at me.
“You cut yourself off from me. I have felt as though I am dying. It hurts, can you not feel it?” I asked almost in tears.
“Hai I feel it.” He answered.
“I wish I had let you die. I hate you.” I screamed at him.
“So you keep saying.” He said sarcastically.
“You let her touch you.” I cried.
“You are making no sense.” He growled.
“Who betrayed who? You did not answer the question about bedding any bitches.” I said calmer.
He turned his head away from me and my stomach clenched painfully. I pushed past him and went to my rooms next to his. I burst into the room and grabbed my fang and slipped it into my obi. I held back the overwhelming anguish that was assaulting me. My mother could feel the turbulence in my feelings and she came over to me. I held up a clawed hand to keep her at bay. I moved to a basin and threw up.
“We leave. There is nothing for us here.” I whispered wiping my mouth.
“Daughter. Force him to talk.” She said.
“No. I am done. He betrayed me on the basest level. I will live even if I continue to whither inside. That creature will not destroy me.” I said my chest heaving.
“Asuna, I am sending him in here. Try one more time for me?” she said calmly.
I nodded to her and she went to Sheng's chambers. I waited and a moment later he came in and would not look at me. I was shaking with repressed rage. My mother shut the doors and placed a barrier around the rooms.
“How was this supposed to happen, hmm?” He asked painfully.
“I wanted to explain to you what happened. You came in determined to fight with me.” I said.
“I told you that I wished to be away from you. You could not honor that?” he asked.
“So you bed as many bitches as possible?” I asked in a raw voice.
“What I do on my time is my business. You kept yourself from me.” He snapped.
“You said that before on the way to He Gang.” I said in a bitter laugh.
“Ah yes He Gang. Well your inactions have proved that anything that has happened is meaningless.” He said just as bitter.
“You are a whiney pup. You think this has been easy on either of us?” I said in a nasty laugh.
“I think you get what you want from it.” He answered.
I moved closer to him and slapped him. He snarled at me.
“The only THING I get out of this situation is my heart ripped from me and you making me cry. I do not cry and I have shed more for you than I did as a newborn pup!” I nearly shrieked at him.
“Calm yourself.” He commanded me.
“No. I want to know who you bedded.” I demanded of him.
He scoffed at me and went to the other side of the room. I was so angry that I would have gleefully killed Annchi right then.
“Asuna, I made a terrible mistake. I should never have forced this bond. I was selfish, I can admit that. There has been much damage done but I am trying to give us some sort of out.” He admitted.
“We are mated in the most sacred of ways. We have been bonded in this life and the next.” I said hollowly.
“You lie.” He hissed.
“Why would I lie? You said you feel the pain. Our souls are bonded and when you cut me off…” I started to say.
“I will not live as second to no one. I have tried to make this situation work and it will not.” He sighed.
“You have not tried. You go and fuck whores. You are mated to me!” I snarled.
“Leave it alone Asuna.” He said dangerously.
“I am bearing your pup. You are mine.” I said in a low tone.
“Why could you not tell me that in the first place? Why did you keep that from me?” he asked.
“I never had any intentions of keeping you from this.” I replied in pain.
“Do you not see that you did? You were masking the scent and shielding from ME!” he snapped.
“I needed privacy.” I whispered.
“From me. I see.” He said with sarcasm.
“For Kamis sake Sheng! There are other thoughts on my mind.” I said in exasperation.
“I am trying to tell you that I keep nothing from you. I have bared myself completely and you will not do the same.” He replied in anger.
“We completed the bond to be able to shield you moron.” I snapped at him.
“Not when we created life. You know how I feel on that subject.” He said tonelessly.
“So you cut yourself off from me? You had no thought what it would do to our pup?” I said again in a raw voice.
“I did not know.” He said in a tired voice.
“You were loved by Lord Tekeshi, why would you feel abandoned?” I voiced his old memory.
“I am not discussing this. You have made it clear where I stand in your life Asuna. I am done with this.” He said looking forlorn.
“Fine if you will not discuss the problem then discuss your behavior after you left me.” I said snappishly.
“You are obsessed again. I am not discussing anything more.” He stated defiantly.
He was right that I was obsessed and I wanted him to hurt as much as I was. He did not expect me to come at him and I slashed his face with my claws. He grabbed my hand and went to shove me backward and I took him with me. I landed flat on my back with him on top of me. My tongue darted out and tasted his blood. I saw enough of his memories and I tried to kick him off of me. He lowered his lips to my ear.
“Did you see what you wanted?” he whispered harshly.
“Get off of me, you are being cruel.” I cried.
“No you want us together and here we are.” He said viscously.
“Do not do this.” I whispered as I could see his intentions.
“You are so used to telling everyone what to do. You cannot handle when you are confronted.” He condescended to me.
“Sheng stop.” I demanded.
“No. You want me to open myself again so I am.” He said as he untied my hakamas.
“Not like this.” I whispered hoarsely.
“Ah but you see, this is my terms.” He said in such a harsh tone.
He lowered his head and licked his mating mark on me. I could not breathe evenly and my body was betraying me.
“Stop being cruel please.” I begged.
“I am going to make you open up completely to me. I will take what I need from you.” He whispered.
He had undone his own ku and he slid into me. I cried out. I was furious with him at the same time as wanting him. He bit down hard into the mating mark and he invaded my senses. He was inside of me in every sense. I tried to push him out mentally and he pressed on. I was gasping as he forced our bond open. I cried out as his yoki melded with mine. He was rolling his hips against mine and I arched my back to meet his thrusts. He had my hands clasped in his and he lowered his mouth to mine. He growled low in his throat and I just panted. He was dominating me and punishing me for his pain. He was my equal in arrogance and pride. I had met my match when it came to will. He looked down at me and I saw raw emotion. My breath hitched and he kissed me desperately. Sheng's eyes were his normal icy blue and mine had stayed the gold-brown they were. I thrust my hips against his with force and I forced a groan out of him. He sat up without breaking the connection and I was straddling him. He bit into my mark again and I shook against him.
“You are mine.” He growled loudly.
“Sheng.” I cried as he thrust into me hard.
He was holding me to him and murmuring against my skin. My claws dug into his back and I was trying to hold on. I had to throw my head back and moan. He was nipping and biting my skin gently. My body was tightening in bliss and he pressed me again with his yoki and I fell into an orgasm. He continued to thrust into me and I was trembling violently. Sheng moved my chin so that my eyes were locked with his.
“You feel me?” he asked roughly.
“Hai.” I responded barely comprehending.
“I am yours.” He ground out.
“Hai, hai.” I cried repeatedly
“Asuna look at me.” He demanded.
I had shut my eyes and I opened them again. I stared him in the eyes again and I felt him stiffen as he spilled himself. Sheng's face contorted in intense pleasure and I was mesmerized. He surged his yoki again and I trembled around him again. He kept my face focused on him and I groaned loudly and mumbled incoherently. I collapsed against him and he held me close.
-Now you know I have touched no other. - He said within my mind.
I felt as though I could breathe again. The physical pain was gone and I was furious with him but he already knew it. He truly wanted to be joined like this and be as one. He hated when he could not feel my spirit. The complete mating had brought us as close as two individuals could be.
-You were rather brutal.-I whispered in his head.
-No more brutal than you have been with me. - He thought.
I slipped off his lap and he placed a hand on my stomach. He pressed his lips to my abdomen and a thrill went down my spine. He muttered mine against my skin.
“Why did you let me think you had rutted with another bitch?” I asked as I put on a silk yukata.
“To hurt you.” He said lazily.
“Kami you are a brat.” I said severely.
“Hai, I know. I grew up in this opulent court, remember?” he said lying on the bed.
“I am still furious with you.” I snapped.
“Hai I know.” He said closing his eyes.
“You rut with me and you sleep?” I asked him incredulously.
“Sleep with me.” He replied barely lifted his head.
“How are you so calm?” I asked in disbelief.
“You already know that answer. I would also like the miniature of my mother back.” He said lightly.
“I hate you!” I sneered.
“No you do not. I made you angry. You hate it when you are dominated.” He stated.
“You still see nothing wrong with leaving me?” I asked quietly.
“Lye with me.” He demanded.
I sighed and went over to the bed and lied down next to him. He pulled the yukata up until my thigh was bared. He was lightly running his claws along the smooth flesh.
“I want my pup more than I can say. I want you more than I can say. When you shielded from me, I knew you were hiding the truth. I would lay my life down in this lifetime or any other and I knew you were holding back. I have given myself completely to you and I needed the same from you.” He explained.
I stared at him and I looked away.
“I am split do you not see that?” I said bitterly.
“You and I share something that no one else can. I am a selfish creature. I will not be denied the one thing that ties me to you so completely.” He stated gripping my thigh.
Warmth spread through me as he combined our yoki again. I stiffened against him and he kissed my neck.
-Kami!-I cried in his head.
He ran his hand up my thigh to my stomach. He spread his fingers over my stomach and I felt his yoki wash over me again.
“You are trying to bond with the pup.” I stated surprise.
“Hai.” He whispered.
“Your mother was beautiful.” I stated.
“Hai.” He answered.
“You were young when she was killed.” I said.
“Hai.” He whispered again.
“What about this fascinates you so?” I asked curiously.
“I am going to be able to watch you grow heavy with my pup.” He said in awe.
“I have to return to Japan.” I said looking over my shoulder at him.
“No. I am not going to let you put yourself in danger. Katashi is fool for even considering it.” He growled.
“You are telling me what I will do?” I said in anger.
“Hai I am. I will be writing to Katashi this very day and informing him that you will be retreating to the Winter Palace and I will protect his interests.” He said arrogantly.
“And what makes you think I am going to do this?” I asked in a fury.
“Because you love me.” He stated bluntly.
“Hai I love you but I am not giving up my freedom.” I said sitting up.
“I will not be thwarted in this. You carry my future as well as this land's in your belly.” He said logically.
“Damn you.” I growled.
“See I can win you over with my charm.” He said pressing me back down.
“You are manipulating me.” I said irritated.
“Hai I am. You are good at it yourself.” He whispered against my ear.
“You intend to rut with me again.” I stated warming up to him.
“Hai. I have missed you terribly. I will never be cut off from you again.” He licked my ear.
“Sheng.” I whispered.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Sheng was snoring heavily and I slipped away to find something to eat. I abhorred he could manipulate and read me so well. He was demanding and arrogant. He was also kind, loyal, and loving. He was almost my same personality in the male form and that was why we clashed so violently. Our passions ran high and so did our rages. I was wearing a yukata with a dark green dressing gown. I was padding lightly to the kitchens and I overheard my favorite inu sisters. I masked my aura and scent and listened.
“Annchi I have sent your letters. Did you really see that whore here?” Xiu Jaun said.
“Hai I did. Sheng could not get to her fast enough. I hate her. I hope Jing destroys her.” Annchi seethed with hatred.
“She will. I have no doubt.” Xiu laughed.
“Sheng has not touched me since that Japanese slut came here. I know he wants me and I know I will be his mate. What can be stopping him?” Annchi cried.
I closed my eyes and dipped into Sheng's mind.
-Wake up. - I cried urgently.
-Koi, I will soon! - He pathed back in irritation.
-Fool! Wake up! - I snapped.
I could see him sit straight up and he was irritated.
-Listen through me. - I commanded.
“Do you think Katashi is sharing his whore?” Annchi asked her sister.
“Sheng and he share everything else.” Xiu laughed.
“Yuan will be here with the Han in two weeks time.” Annchi whispered in a giddy tone.
Sheng had moved so quickly that he was by my side in a moment, he wore only a ku. I pulled away from him and grabbed the dirk that I carried when not dressed formally. I was behind Annchi in second and she screamed. I held the dagger to her throat and I cut it a fraction.
“You are the one that sent word and had me attacked outside of Fuxin!” I seethed dangerously.
Sheng appeared beside me and his eyes were red. Annchi and Xiu were cowering like lambs in a slaughter. My mother appeared in a few minutes and she glided over. I was breathing heavily so as not to kill the deceitful bitch where she stood.
“I shall get the information you seek.” My mother said walking up to Annchi.
I backed away and my mother came close to her and turned her head and lowered her mouth to her neck and bit into her jugular. Annchi screamed in pain and my mother drank from her. I kept quiet but I actually enjoyed watching her suffer. My mother pulled back and her lips were stained red. She had not killed the traitorous bitch and I was disappointed.
“There is a complex scheme afoot. These chits were in it for power and prestige. This little bitch wanted you Sheng, obviously. This Yuan is a minor general in Katashi's army under Ichigawa. He has been the one in direct contact with Jing.” She said.
I was shaking terribly and I let my Dakkasou seep to the tips of my claws and I shoved my hand into Annchi's chest. Sheng tried to stop me but it was too late. Her heart was dissolving in my hand.
“That is for my dead pup. This is also for Sheng and his torture, and for betraying your own family. Sheng would never have been yours; he belongs to this Japanese slut.” I whispered into her dying ear. Her eyes widened as she died and I threw her away from me.
My mother nodded her approval and Sheng appeared horrified.
“If you wish to die by my hand then I would suggest you lie to me.” I said growling terribly.
“Hai.” Xiu said terrified.
“When did you send the correspondence and to where?” I snarled; my yoki was almost swirling about me and my eyes had long since bled red. I knew my features were slowly changing.
Sheng put a comforting hand on my shoulder and he was brushing my yoki as well trying to stop me from changing. I kept snarling and Xiu backed away from me.
“I sent them this afternoon and they were going to Kyoto.” She screeched in fear.
Kyoto was a major city in the West. Ningen and youki alike called it home. It was sixty miles south of the Western Palace. I narrowed my eyes and pulled from Sheng's yoki as well and produced the energy whip that I had been trying to produce without success for awhile. My mother's mouth dropped wide open at the display of power and I flung the whip at Xiu and cut open her belly, it had been a similar wound that Jing had inflicted on Sheng. I withdrew the whip and it disappeared. Sheng again was horrified and held my wrist.
“Enough.” He whispered.
“Sheng her beast is in control.” My mother whispered harshly to him.
I jerked my wrist out of his hold and went and knelt by Xiu's prone form. She was crying terribly.
“You will not die, but you will suffer as your Lord Sheng did. I should cut your throat. You will be brought before Lord Katashi and he will pass judgment on you.” I hissed.
I stepped back from her and my beast receded and my eyes returned to normal. I called for a guard and the healer and had Xiu taken away. I walked by Annchi's body and spit at it.
“Burn it.” I ordered a guard.
My word was followed to the letter and Sheng hung back a bit. I made my way back to my rooms and sat at the desk. I started writing a letter furiously in Kanji. My second mate came up behind and put his hands on my shoulders.
“What?” I asked annoyed.
“You should have spared them and left their fates to Katashi. They were his cousins.” He said quietly.
“Sheng you would do well to remember this, I am the Lady here right now. My word is as Katashi's. I speak for him. You are his brother no doubt but you serve as an advisor.” I said in a very cold voice.
“Asuna, I have served as regent for him numerous times. Those were his cousins.” He said firmly.
I stood up and whirled on him. I was furious again and I pinned him with a hateful stare.
“They were responsible for Jing's torture of you, the death of my pup, General Hideaki's demise, and they betrayed their clan. What in Kamis name did you expect me to do, throw them a party?” I said frigidly.
“They were his cousins, he should be responsible for their demise.” He said.
“Sorry that your lover was killed? I stopped her heart in my hand Sheng.” I replied in a nasty tone.
“In the seven hells no! I never loved her. I am advising you of the right thing.” He said defensively.
“You should know that I will be going back to Japan.” I stated.
“No you will not.” He said furiously.
“You will not stop me.” I said coldly.
“Like hell I won't” he threatened me.
“Things have changed Sheng!” I yelled.
“You will not put yourself or either one of those pups in danger. You will be going to He Gang so that you can birth them safely.” He snapped.
“I can fight and quite well.” I said seething.
“You can hold the fronts here in Manchuria in safety. I will not lose my family.” He snarled in my face.
“Sheng.” I barked in anger.
“I will hear no more. I no longer feel shame in my feelings for you and I will fight you to save you. I do this for myself as well as Katashi.” He said stepping back.
“You take too many liberties.” I said sharply.
“Hai I do. I protect what is mine.” He said.
“I will eventually have my way.” I said seating myself.
“Over my dead body, I will send the letter with mine. I believe it would be faster to send it by way of your mother.” He said with his hand out.
“Hai do not tempt me.” I said handing him the parchment.
“I feel your anger and rage quite well Koi. I know you are fantasizing of maiming me right now. You will forgive me later.” He said taking the parchment and heading for the door.
“When are you kidnapping me to He Gang?” I asked raising a brow.
“This very night, I suggest you prepare yourself.” He stated starting to leave.
I picked up a small vase and threw it at his head. It shattered and he smiled.