A/N; I'll give you guys a big warning! The Next Chapter is the Last One. Now, this was originally written about a year ago. Since then, I have been working on a sequel. I needed it to be perfect and original and - well I've worked on ideas a lot. The sequel SHOULD be up near the end of the summer. You can always leave a review (with your email) if you want me to tell you when it's gonna be up or I have a livejournal (maddiesan) and a twitter (themaddiesan) where I put up updates and whatnot.
Thank you Daniella for beta-reading.
Rosemary: Remembrance.
Pink Carnation
Chapter 20: Rosemary
Kagome stared at the outside world through her window. She was wearing nothing but a large sweater over a pair of black shorts, her hair pulled into a messy ponytail. Her attire covered most of the marks on her arms but unfortunately, it did nothing to hide the ones on her legs. Her dry lips were pressed together as she waited for something. She wasn't quite sure what. It had been a few days since she had last heard from Sesshomaru. Then again, she doubted that a letter of gratitude was enough for him to actually come to see her. He had been great to her, but she had always known it would be nothing more than temporary. After all, he had acted nothing like himself for long enough now. It was time he returned to his former self. Still, she missed him. He had blown her away by being different from what he used to be, or at least different from what she thought he was. Maybe she had tried to label him as a jerk, just like Inuyasha but he had made that task completely impossible. A tiny smile pulled at her lips as she recalled the coldness, shock and confusion that had taken him over when he had found her. If she had been him, she would have left herself there to die. That was just her opinion since she knew she had been lifeless and soulless when he found her. He had made her live and she owe him for that. Slowly, she rested her head on her arm and closed her eyelids. Since the incident she could not sleep well, especially not when she was alone. There was something about the darkness of her bedroom that terrified her. It felt as if it was swallowing her and bringing her into an even darker world. She didn't need to drown in hurtful memories that were leading her to lie awake all night while only finding rest during the day. Kagome leaned her head back almost ready to nap when suddenly she heard the softest knock on her door. Her head jolted up immediately as she focused all of her attention on the wooden door. She bit on her bottom lip while getting on her feet and wondering who might be at the door. Her steps were slow while she dragged them against the floor. She would be lying if she said her heart didn't skip a beat at the thought that Sesshomaru might be the one standing behind the door. Of course, she refused to get her hopes up. Lately her faith was shaken since it seemed everything she believed in was being crushed down to pieces. Once she reached the door, Kagome did not even bother to ask who it was. Instead, she grabbed the handle, twisted it and opened the door. As soon as it flung open, it revealed Sesshomaru standing tall in a black suit. For a second, Kagome held her breath while trying to process the information. It was truly him. She opened her mouth, ready to speak, but nothing but a stutter came out. She sighed, clearly annoyed, before giving it another try. "Sesshomaru? What are you doing here?" Kagome quickly found herself scanning around him trying to find a reason for his visit. He stood in front of her, his stoic mask in place and no clue how to answer her. Truth was he shouldn't have come. She was right that their last meeting should have been... the last one. They were both different people with nothing in common. A twist of fate had put them on each other's path and nothing more. Yet, he needed to be around. It was not a feeling he had experienced before and he could not explain it. All he could do was show up at her apartment, hoping she would speak the words he could not. When he didn't answer, she arched an eyebrow. "Do you want to come in?" His actions were leaving her puzzled, but she didn't want him to leave. He finally provided her with an answer by nodding. A smile appeared on her lips at his response and she moved out of the way so he could enter. Hesitantly, Sesshomaru followed her inside, closing the door behind him. "Are you ever going to answer me?" Obviously she did not mind his presence, but she didn't want to get the wrong impression. Maybe the reason for his visit didn't have anything to do with them. What were they anyway? They certainly weren't in a relationship and it didn't feel like a friendship. It was more like two broken, shattered, lonely people being attracted to each other's misery. "Your letter." So he read it. A part of Kagome had strongly believed that he would have tossed it aside. After all, once he had taken care of her, what business did he have with her? Also, if he came all that way to discuss it… did he not agree? It meant it was more than a phase. Though, did he come bearing answers for any of the questions she had written for him? "I do not know why I did not leave you on the side of the road to die. Your health and safety was of no concern to me." "But you still did it." He nodded. "I could not let you die though I do not understand why. I cannot give you answers I do not have myself." "But why were you so nice to me?" He wasn't technically nice to her and he had simply made sure she regained her health. Though he probably would not have done that for many people. Since the moment he had seen her laying there, covered in blood, he had felt the unexplainable desire to protect her. Until her, he lived for nothing and no one. Why now? Why her? He had barely seen her. Hell he had barely been around her. What made everything change? "I had to be. I… wanted to be." Kagome began chewing on her bottom lip trying to contain the nervous feeling filling her from the inside.. She understood that he was confused, but it was possible that she was even more confused than him. His answers did nothing but leave her more perplexed. Perhaps Sesshomaru did not know how to express his reasons because this had never happened. From what Inuyasha had told her Sesshomaru wasn't close to his family and he did not have friends or anything of the sort. Maybe he just didn't know how to be around people or why. She could tell him to leave without hearing if he wished to be around. Though, she didn't want to. His brother had hurt her very recently and she should hate the both of them, but she didn't. Also, she shouldn't desire to be around someone at the moment, especially not a stranger, yet there she was. If he wished to stay, she wouldn't force him to go but she had to be certain. She was sick and tired of her feelings being yanked around. "Is this just a phase?" Yes. That was the right answer: that was the one he should give her. He didn't want to be around anyone, he didn't need to be around anyone. "No." One word sealed his fate. A loud banging sound echoed through the apartment and echoed through the brain of a sleeping Kagome. She frowned a few times in her sleep, the disturbance annoying her. It took few seconds before she was finally able to open her eyes. She quickly glanced around, realizing that someone was at the door.
The confusion left over by her dream startled her slightly, but she didn't try to figure out if it was truly just a dream, or a memory. Such dreams had occurred before and she doubted they were real. Perhaps her mind was simply making a desperate attempt at putting the pieces together. What were the odds that Sesshomaru gave her the letter yesterday and today she suddenly remembered what happened afterwards?
It was a dream. Until she had someone to confirm it, she wouldn't think anymore of it. This didn't feel anywhere near what she had felt when she had regained her memory the other day.
Pushing it aside, she refocused her attention to the current situation. As fast as she could, she made it to her feet and grabbed the nearest robe. Slowly she put it on, tying it around her waist. She was slightly groggy still but she made her way to the door nonetheless. She did not bother to look at the time and assumed it was early. Who in the world could be visiting her? If it were Sango, she'd already be screaming at her to hurry. If it was Sesshomaru – well she doubted he would come to visit her.
As she went past the living room she found herself grabbing her slippers, the cold floor unbearable against the skin of her feet. She picked them up as she walked and began to put them on. Her left foot quickly slipped in, but as she bent down to put the other slipper on her right foot she found herself losing her balance. She jumped on one foot, trying to keep it, but was failing miserably.
In a slight moment of panic, Kagome found herself stretching her arm while trying to reach out for something. Her hand almost touched the counter only to meet the emptiness as she lost the battle. Instead of falling backwards like she had anticipated, she tilted forward. All she could do was brace herself for the shock before closing her eyes tightly. As she moved forward before falling, she closed the distance between herself and the counter.
Her closed eyes prevented her from seeing the obstacle ahead and before she knew it she smashed head first into the counter. A throbbing pain rapidly filled her head before she winced, her face hitting the floor next. Something warm was dripping down her forehead and she was afraid to assume it was blood. Her sweaty palms were pressed against the floor but she could not bring forth any strength.
Kagome was unable to even lift her face as dizziness spread through her brain. Her eyes were shut but bright lights were filling her vision. As she felt herself being pulled away she could still hear the knock echoing in her brain. She attempted to open her mouth to speak, but nothing came.
Nothing but darkness.
-P-
"I don't know who it was!" Sango almost screamed as she sat back in her seat.
Usually she could keep her temper in check but Sesshomaru's concern was getting on her nerves. He seemed to be mad at her because she didn't know what happened. As if she had been there! If he was so troubled, then he shouldn't have left Kagome alone and none of it would have happened. Not that she blamed him; she simply wanted him to understand she only had as much information as he did.
"Someone called 911."
"Who?"
She shrugged. "The person only told the authorities that there was blood coming from under her door. It could have been anyone; there are a lot of people in that building."
Thinking about Kagome lying in a pool of her blood once more was enough to make Sango shudder. Why did it always happen to her? As if her brain had not been damaged enough by her latest accident! Now everyone found themselves again waiting in the hospital dreading the diagnostic. What if the damage done to her head was worse this time? What if she completely forgot who she was?
It was one thing to forget one year of your life and it was another to forget it entirely.
"You think she'll be okay?"
Sesshomaru did not have an answer for Sango and the best he could do was to remain completely silent. No, he did not know if she was going to be fine, nor could he lie. Last time, he had trusted his faith only to be let down. He would not make that same mistake again. Though that thought alone did nothing to lessen his anger.
Kagome had started believing again, she had even recovered pieces of her memory. Why did this have to happen now? If he didn't know any better, he would think something
out there was keeping her away from him. Both Sango and Sesshomaru were pulled away from their thoughts when the door of Kagome's hospital room opened. The doctor emerged wearing a neutral look on his face. "She's still asleep, but she'll be okay."
Sango wanted nothing more than to have relief wash over her, but knew she couldn't. "Is she okay? I mean…her brain… her memory?"
"We won't know until she wakes up. But you can go see her if you wish."
Sango didn't need to be told twice as she grabbed her coat and quickly ahead inside. Sesshomaru trailed behind while his heart clenched at the thought of seeing her so vulnerable again. Each time she was hurt, he could not chase the image of her a year ago when she was broken. It was all he saw and he
hated it. Sango entered the room and sat on a chair near Kagome, her eyes locked on her best friend's face. Once again, all they could do was wait.
"No! If you do that, you'll mix the blue with the pink!" Sesshomaru arched an eyebrow slightly amused. "And if pink cotton candy touched blue cotton candy… the world will end?" She frowned at him, not truly upset. "I don't like blue cotton candy. So keep that thing away from my pink." He held back a small smile and he shook his head. He would never understand her logic. Just for the sake of upsetting her, he decided to do it. While she was looking straight ahead, chipping away at her treat, he quickly bumped into her, their cotton candies touching and mixing. Her eyes quickly widened and before she knew it, she was gasping. "You didn't." "It seems I did." --- "You know, you're worse than a girl," said Kagome as she loudly tapped her foot against the ground. "What the heck is taking you so long? All you have to do is put a suit on! I had my make up to do, my hair and my clothes and I was ready before you!" Every three months Sesshomaru had special events to attend for the company. Of course he dreaded every single of them. Each time he tried to avoid them, but they were necessary. This time Kagome had decided to accompany him thus destroying any chance he might have of escaping. Though she was quickly reconsidering her theory? What if he had run away? There were many windows in his room. Granted it wouldn't be very Sesshomaru like to get out of a room through a window, but since he really hated those events she wouldn't put it past him. She tapped her foot a few more times while debating if she was going in. "Sesshomaru?" When he didn't answer her, she decided to go in. She walked loudly, announcing her arrival, before grabbing the handle and swinging the door open. She expected to find it empty, but unfortunately for her Sesshomaru was there. He had nothing on but his black pants and his chest was completely bare. When she came in, he had been reaching out for his shirt. Her action caused him to stop what he was doing and glance at her. She should have looked away, but her eyes remained where they were. It took a few seconds before she opened her mouth slightly. "Hm you weren't answering." God, why did she feel like such an idiot? Sesshomaru wanted nothing more than to make a remark, but when he noticed just how embarrassed she was already, he decided to drop it. "I'll be right out." She quickly nodded before leaving the room and closing the door on her way out. Idiot. ---- "Why do you think he did it?" Sesshomaru snapped his head in her direction. "Who?" It wasn't unusual for Kagome to randomly talk during movie, but usually she wouldn't discuss random subject. He had a feeling he knew what she wanted to talk about and he couldn't help but hope that he was wrong. Each time they discuss Inuyasha it never ended well. "Inuyasha." "Because he's an idiot." There was no explanation. Inuyasha had her heart and everything that came with it. Yet he had tossed it aside like a foolish idiot. There was no way the whore he now had was any better than Kagome. "He is, but I hardly doubt that's the reason." She had been around Sesshomaru for a few months, but she wasn't sure if she could share with him what she believed to be the real reason. Could she come out and say that she thought it was because nothing physical had happened between them? "What is it?" She shook her head. "It's nothing." ---- "All I'm saying is that I'm sure many girls would like to date Sesshomaru," said Sango as she put her cup down. "I mean why not, he's not bad looking, he has money…" "I guess you're right." She had never really considered Sesshomaru in that fashion before. He was her friend, not a potential boyfriend. But she had to admit that Sango was right. He would be quite a catch for a woman. She couldn't help but wonder if things would be different if Sesshomaru had someone in his life. Obviously they would be. No girl would allow them to be so close for good reasons. Not that they were doing anything. It was just one more proof that nothing in life was permanent. Even if she was more than just a phase to him, one day he would want a life of his own. He'd find someone; have a family and all of the sudden he would no longer have time for her. Though she was sure she would want the same thing one day. When she was able to trust someone again of course… ---- "Sesshomaru?" He glanced down at her with his head slightly tilted. It wasn't hard for him to notice the worry shining in her blue orbs. "Yes?" "Do you have someone in your life?" He could not help but arch an eyebrow. "If I did, you would know." She nodded. "But, what if you do one day?" Her questions were confusing him more and more. "Are you worried I will get a girlfriend?" Kagome pinched her lips together. She didn't want to sound jealous or possessive because it wasn't the case. She simply didn't know how to put into words what she was trying to tell him. "I just want you to be honest and tell me if you do." Maybe it was because she didn't want Sesshomaru's future girlfriend to think Sesshomaru was going behind her back. She knew what it was like to be betrayed and she didn't want someone else to feel that way, especially not because of her. "I will." As if he would ever get someone. "Sh- Maru- Smaru?" Kagome blinked a few times, trying to focus on what she was trying to say. Obviously she had way too many drinks. Wait –five drinks wasn't too many. Or was it? She tilted her head completely to the side as she glanced at her friend who was sitting beside her. "S'maru?" He had been waiting for her to finally be able to say his name right, but by now he was assuming that she was too drunk to ever get it right. "Yes?" he said, hiding a smirk. "I... where are we?" "We're still at the bar." "Oh." She nodded, as if she was trying to agree with something, before she allowed her head to rest upon his shoulder. "I like your shoulder." "Really?" he inquired, amused. "Yes. It's strong. You're very muscular." If he said that he wasn't intrigued to see where she was going with this, he would be lying. "I guess I am. Youkais usually are." She shook her head. "Inuyasha wasn't." He liked and disliked the statement at the same time. He enjoyed the fact that she thought he looked better than Inuyasha, but the less he knew about her relationship with Inuyasha, the better off he was. "I like you better." The smile that adorned his face was now a true one. He did like her better as well. She quickly snaked her arms around his, holding on tightly. "Please don't go." "I'm right here." "I know, but never leave." "I won't." "I'm sorry I don't have as much time for lunch as planned." Kagome shook her head. "Don't worry about it." She enjoyed spending time with Sesshomaru but she understood he was busy. At least he hadn't cancelled their plans. Back when she used to be with Inuyasha he would just cancel rather than spend even just a little bit of time with her. Then again, it wasn't fair to compare Sesshomaru to Inuyasha; they were nothing alike. The elevator stopped at the second floor causing the door to open. A rush of people came in and the space available decreased. Having no other choice, Sesshomaru came closer to Kagome, their chests pressing together. Since she was much shorter than him, her face was also pressed against his chest and she turned her head to the side. She was used to being around Sesshomaru constantly and they had broken some closeness boundaries more than once.. Yet somehow this felt much different. Perhaps it was because they were surrounded by people rather than being alone. Before she knew it, Kagome felt a slight blush cover her cheeks. It was then that someone pushed into Sesshomaru causing him to press himself even more against her. Their closeness made it possible for him to notice not only her uncomfortable position but also her state of embarrassment. However he was still unsure if the fact that she was blushing was good or bad. His emotions were under control but that was because he had years of practice in hiding his emotions. Gently he lifted one of his hands and put it against her hip. Kagome felt her breath catch in her throat for a second and did not move. All that filled his nose was her divine scent and it was making it unbearable. He had held her before but this time he almost felt as if he was invading her personal space. Before he did something he knew he would regret Sesshomaru pulled his hand away. Perhaps some other day… Feeling as if she could no longer breathe, Kagome sat up quickly in the bed while breathing heavily, sweat dripping down her back. Her eyes were still tightly shut and as she shook her head she felt as though something was holding her down. Her heart began to pound rapidly in her chest and panic took over. It took her a few seconds before she finally opened her eyes.
Immediately she gazed around, trying to remember what had happened. She quickly noticed Sango sitting beside her and she frowned. Sango? Kagome looked down at herself only to finally realize she was not in her own bed. Biting down on her lip, she calmed down a little; she was in the hospital.
Wait… why was she in the hospital?
She swallowed hard; feeling like her throat was on fire. She did her best to bend forward and try to reach Sango. Unfortunately she didn't even have the strength to do it. Still, she kept trying over and over.
"Kagome?"
All she heard was the sound of a cup filled with liquid falling upon the floor. She raised her head and glanced in direction of the noise only to see Sesshomaru standing there with concern in his eyes.
"You're awake," he said as he rushed to her side.
Frankly he had expected her to be out for longer than a day but he was relieved she was up. He sat down beside her and inspected her face, looking into her eyes, almost expecting something to be wrong.
"Are you okay?"
She waited for a few seconds to see if something was wrong but she felt normal. Except for the fact that she was extremely dizzy and light headed, everything else was fine. "I think I'm okay."
He sighed in relief. "I'm glad."
"You worry too much," she said as she leaned back into the bed feeling slightly nauseous. "What happened to me?"
"We're not sure. You hit your head and cut yourself. You lost a lost of blood."
Kagome nodded. She couldn't really remember what happened. She recalled getting up to go get the door but that was about it. Maybe she had hit herself so hard that the minutes surrounding the accident had been knocked out of her memory.
"I always do lose a lot of blood. Remember that time at the amusement park? I just grazed my knee and it bled during the entire day," she said chuckling a bit at the memory.
She was very prone to accidents and it did not surprise her that something like this had happened. Though she could not help but wonder who had found her. Also, who had been at the door? Surely it couldn't be Sesshomaru or he wouldn't have said that they didn't know.
Had someone gotten the wrong apartment?
Meanwhile Sesshomaru was not sharing her enthusiasm. He got closer to her, almost as if something was wrong "What did you say?" Surely, he had not heard her right… there was no way.
Kagome frowned at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Just now, what did you say?"
"I said I always do lose a lot of blood."
"No, no after that."
"That time at the amusement park?"
He nodded. "You remember?"
"I remem- Oh – I… I do. I remember!"
Kagome felt her heart skip a beat; how could it be? No, no there was no way she remembered. It wasn't like she didn't want to: it simply was impossible. Nothing unusual happened. Why would she remember everything all of the sudden? She closed her eyes for a brief moment, trying her best to see if she could actually remember everything.
Seconds ticked away and she was proven right.
She could recall the past year.
For a brief second, her heart sunk. It was all back, the good and the bad. Tears formed in her eyes but she did not know if they were tears of joy or pain. It was a good thing she had regained her memory was it not? Then why did her heart feel so heavy? Why did it feel as if she was carrying a bigger burden than before?
For a moment, she was completely alone in the room. Sesshomaru wasn't present, Sango wasn't there; it was only herself. When she had first awoken she had been feeling light and funny. That feeling had disappeared unfortunately. Now she was experiencing nausea and felt even drowsier. She allowed herself to close her eyes, ignoring Sesshomaru's presence.
He was staring at her face intently; was she supposed to back to sleep already? She had just awakened from a two days coma. He glanced her way one more time before rising to his feet and heading outside to retrieve a doctor. Deep inside, he couldn't help but worry.
She didn't look happy.
-P-
"So she's fine, but you think something is wrong with her?" asked Sango, confused.
Sesshomaru nodded. "She cried."
Sango's puzzled expression turned into one of pain. Kagome cried because she retrieved her memory? Her heart clenched as she took a step forward in direction of Sesshomaru. "Are you sure?"
He nodded once more. "I saw it."
Sesshomaru had attempted to ignore it, but it was still vivid in his mind. She had cried, yet not in happiness. He thought Kagome did want to remember. Why did she no longer want to? Was it because of him, or she simply didn't wish to have all the pain back?
He ran his fingers through his long silver locks trying not to concern himself too much.
"Maybe she was just a bit disoriented?"
Sango knew she would have to go inside without Sesshomaru if she wanted to figure out the real reason. She wasn't certain it was Sesshomaru's fault but she figured there would be more chances that Kagome would speak if the two of them were alone. After all, she still was unsure of where Kagome stood when it came to Sesshomaru since the Kikyo incident.
"Perhaps."
Somehow he didn't find comfort into Sango's words. Maybe it was because she herself didn't believe in them.
Sango tore her eyes away from Sesshomaru before looking at the door. Perhaps Kagome was awake by now? She decided to take a chance and she walked in direction of the door. Quietly she opened it and slid inside. Immediately she noticed that Kagome was awake, her eyes opened and her head tilted to the side.
"Hey Kag."
Kagome turned her head in direction of her friend and smiled. "Hey."
"How's the head?"
Kagome chuckled. "Apparently it's been through worse."
Sango offered her a smile while she sat down in the nearest seat. "So why are you sad?"
"I'm not sad."
"Sesshomaru said you cried."
"Sesshomaru is wrong."
Sango sighed before nodding. "I guess he is. I mean it would make no sense that you might be sad."
Kagome didn't really want to get into the conversation. She wasn't quite sure why she was feeling the way she was. For a long time all she truly wished for was to be herself again. Then, she had been ready to move on. Why was everything happening this way?
Now she carried the memories of the past year, along with memories of the past weeks.
It was worse to have the knowledge of both sides than just one of them. Now, she could remember her whole friendship with Sesshomaru from the way he was and how he acted, but she could also remember what he did. His betrayal hurt even more than before. After everything he had gone through with her, how could he have done something like that?
Once again, the tears stung her eyes.
She didn't want those memories. Sesshomaru had promised that she was more than a phase and that he would never leave her. He might have stayed by her side but he betrayed her. He did exactly what Inuyasha did to her, but even worse. The second time is more painful than the first. Especially since Sesshomaru had been gifted with all of her trust.
Her bottom lip began to quiver and as soon as Sango noticed she rushed to Kagome's side. "What is it?"
"Why did he do it?" she inquired, barely holding back the tears. "After everything he did for me, this is how he wanted it?"
So it was about Sesshomaru after all. Sango grabbed onto her friend's hand and held on tightly. "I know this isn't what he wanted. It was a mistake."
"Did Inuyasha make a mistake too?"
"Kagome…"
"Sesshomaru was my best friend, he was everything, he was… And this whole time he did all of that because he had hoped to obtain something."
Sango frowned. "You know Sesshomaru is not like that."
"Really?" said Kagome as she sat up in the bed. "Because I'm pretty sure he ran to Kikyo after I didn't do anything when he kissed me. That means he didn't get what he wanted from me and he went to get it somewhere else."
"Or he was hurt and confused and he made a mistake. I'm not saying he's not an idiot. Trust me, I yelled at him. But Sesshomaru is not Inuyasha. You know that! You're just upset right now."
"Or maybe I'm finally seeing Sesshomaru for what he is."
Yes, her anger was clouding her judgment, but after a year of devoted friendship, wasn't she at least allowed to be mad? She didn't do anything wrong so she wasn't about to take the blame for anything. For all these months Sesshomaru felt more for her than just friendship… why did he never say anything? Why did he have to wait until she had no memories of them before he confessed?
The Sesshomaru she knew wasn't afraid. Why did he run away the moment his feelings were hurt? It wasn't as if she had rejected him! She had been completely stunned since his actions had been unexpected. If he had given her a bit more time it wouldn't have turned out like this.
Would she have returned his feelings? Maybe.
The idea of a relationship made her heart hurt but she had also known Sesshomaru to be different. He hadn't taken pleasure in hurting her and he had earned her trust while she had been afraid to give it.
Why did he have to do this?
"Do you want me to go get Sesshomaru? You guys should talk."
Kagome shook her head. "Not right now. If you're right, my anger is making me irrational. If I talk to him now, it's not going to make anything better. I just…I should just stay away from him for a while."
Sango nodded. She hated that this situation would remain, especially since it would hurt both Kagome and Sesshomaru but she understood. There was a strain on their relationship at the moment and if they put too much pressure upon them it would only destroy it. Still, that did not mean Sango intended on going anywhere; she wouldn't leave Kagome alone.
On the other side of the door, Sesshomaru pressed his back against the wall. With his youkai hearing it hadn't been hard to listen in on what was happening in the room. It was true that it was breaking their right to privacy but he hadn't been able to stop himself. He had known that Kagome's pain had something to do with him… he simply hadn't thought that it was that bad.
When she lost her memory he felt like he had lost her. Sesshomaru strongly believed that there was no worse feeling. Unfortunately for him, he had just been proven wrong. At the moment she was herself… completely. Both the Kagome from the present and the Kagome he had known for a year.
And that Kagome hated him.
This was the worst feeling. If she didn't want him when she was herself… what chance did he have to regain her trust?
The worst part was that he had nobody to blame but himself. It was his mistake and his haste that had caused trouble. He had just about managed to completely destroy the opinion Kagome had of him.
She considered him to be no different than Inuyasha.
And his heart broke.
-P-
