SURVIVE

Man, finally posting after Nano. Eyes closing so Im just gonna say thanks a million for the support in NANo and I love you al dearly.

Read, review and enjoy

Chapter 20 : Pack - family

Warmth seeped into the Hanyou, the ice that had filled his veins when he heard of his parents death, slowly began to thaw. The Demon Lord wrapped him in warmth, and Inuyasha could not remember ever feeling like this. It was so good, so strange, he had just confirmed that he had lost everything, but for the first time in his memory he was not alone.

Then his veins froze again, and a new emotion seeped out, stealing the warmth and sealing him in himself. Fear.

Inuyasha was afraid. He had never been so afraid. The emotion creeped out of a dark place inside him that he had forgotten existed. For so damn long he had nothing to lose, NOTHING.

Now there was so much to lose; so much that could be stole from him. Fear coiled around his throat, choking him. When he was captured, when he was collared, all he had to lose was his mind and his life. Now, there was so much more that could be snatched from his desperately grasping hands. So much that could just slip away.

What if he lost the warmth? What if he was left alone again? What if they found out how pathetic he really was, what if they now decided he was worthless? Just a stupid mongrel, not worth the clothes on his back. What if he was thrown away again... could he survive? Could he keep himself sane?

Inuyasha shivered.

Pup, stirred inside him, and Inuyasha sighed. Yes, as long as Pup, Inu and Yasha were alive inside him, he would survive. As long as a part of him lived, he would survive, he would do what he had to do, regardless of the pain and the loss the faced. As he always did, he would face the world and do what he had to do. But he would not like it, he would die inside all over again. He did not want to die like that again.

Inuyasha was getting trapped in his thoughts; lost in his tormenting memories, when his hand was suddenly jerked up. His palm was pressed against a warm chest, the thumping of a powerful heart vibrated through him. His forehead was pressed firmly against Sesshoumaru's collarbone and Sesshoumaru's growl rumbled in the room, resonating through and into Inuyasha.

"What ever your thoughts you will stop at once Hanyou." Sesshoumaru growled, he had noted Inuyasha's withdrawal, the stillness and blankness of his energy that reminded Sesshoumaru of when Inuyasha was collared. "Packs are family, acceptance is forever. Abandoning the pack is not allowed. You will not abandon us Inuyasha, no matter what, I will not allow you to leave us. I will definitely NEVER allow you to leave me my beta. You will not abandon me." Sesshoumaru snarled, his dominant energy rising and swirling around the room.

Inuyasha jerked his head up so fast his brain rattled, his eyes were wide, and Sesshoumaru had to hide the melting of his heart as the Hanyou's eyes was suddenly open and achingly vulnerable, they were so like Pup's. "Me? Abandon you? ME?" Inuyasha choked out his voice hardly a squeak.

"That is what you were contemplating was it not?" Sesshoumaru continued to growl, his pretense of anger had to be perfect, "That is why you were suddenly feeling alone, because you were planning to leave the us, that is the only way you will ever be alone again. Are you planning on abandoning me Inuyasha?" Sesshoumaru's scowl was intimidating as he barked out the question.

"No, no, I.. I.. I would never.. never.. bu.. butt... you,.. I, you..." Inuyasha stuttered.

"Yes, You and I, Inuyasha. You are mine and there is no escaping that reality. You all of you are simply that mine." Sesshoumaru reiterated, as he dragged Inuyasha into his embrace and licked his cheeks to mark the young one further.

Inuyasha shuddered, and once again the ice melted in the heat generated by his Lord. He pressed close and allowed the warmth of the present and future to chase away the icy shadows of the past. They stayed together like that for a long time.

Inuyasha's hand suddenly curled aropund Sesshoumaru's shoulder as he raised his head to meet the golden eyes, "I..I.. did it again. Thought of my self in that way again. I'm sorry. I think.. I think you need to punish me again." Inuyasha whispered his face raw.

Sesshoumaru frowned for a second, and then a slow smile washed over his face, "Hmn, indeed I shall punish you most throughly." He grasped Inuyasha's chin firmly, and his lips consumed Inuyasha's. The kiss was long, hard, lavishing attention, dominating, energizing and draining at the same time. Earlier Sesshoumaru claimed Inuyasha with words, now he claimed him with a kiss, demanding everything, but giving so much more. When their lips parted, every last bit of the ice had been melted, and Inuyasha lay quivering in Sesshoumaru's arms. His golden eyes reflecting need, vulnerability and confusion in equal parts.

Sesshoumaru petted his Hanyou gently and kissed the tops of the Inuyasha's ears, watching in contented pleasure as the sensitive appendages flicked in response. He was making progress, and being rather proud of himself Sesshoumaru with a self-satisfied air did not take further advantage of the situation. The energy in the room was good as they both mentally prepared themselves to face the day ahead.

0000

Seraphim could only use Seraphic mirror portals to teleport, as Demons could only use Demon mirror portals. The mirrors for some strange reason were race specific, they could use the mirrors to communicate, but for some reason they could not understand the mirrors just could not align their magics to make teleportation between species mirrors compatible. Which was why Kouga and crew had come a-winged to Sesshoumaru's palace, and the Demons had to go to the human lands and use their own mirrors to teleport back. Their own mirrors only brought and used with the permission of the City's leaders, it was considered a gross insult to bring a teleport mirror into the city of a different race without express permission.

Mixed race individuals however were exempt from this. They could use the teleportation mirrors of both their ancestry. So it was as Sesshoumaru was melting the Hanyou's fears, Miroku was finally contacted, and he emerged through Sesshoumaru's main teleportation mirror.

The cupid that emerged had long dark hair, he looked very much like a Seraph, the only demon mark he bore, was the golden eyes of the Shiro Inu's and deep purple stripes on his neck and hands. The color of his hair was the main reason his heritage had gone undetected by the Shiro Inu royalty, who would have made a claim on the Cupid if they had been aware of his existence. Miroku was satisfied with his life and had for the most part avoided confrontations with Shiro Inu Youkai, so being summoned to the Western Demon Lands was a real adventure to the Cupid.

He had a jaunty step as he bounced through the portal, his walk was confident and cocky, with a charismatic flourish he made his way t his uncle and grand aunt. As the situation was slowly explained to him, by the uncharacteristically somber Kouga, Miroku's joviality whithered away. The words stole his breathe, his thoughts, his very life. With his nose and senses aware, there was no place for denial, Miroku knew each word was true, and felt the loss like a hot lance though his very heart. His agony consuming, the cupid raised his head and howled. The howl reverberated though the palace, carrying the message of the deepest grief and aching loss with it. Miroku moaned for the son, he had never know, his heart bled for the loss of one totally unknown but absolutely dear. Miroku scented it before they could continue the story.

In the ground, in the air, in his soul, he suddenly knew, he had a grandson. Between on breathe and the next, he went from grief to demanding to see his grandchild.

Everyone nodded. As had been previously discussed, Kouga and Shri Suijin, led a trembling Miroku to Sesshoumaru's private wing. Jinenji was waiting outside the door for them. The reunion between the family was going to be as private as they could possibly make it, only those considered family (and Sesshoumaru) in attendance.

Inuyasha had heard the howls, and his blood had reacted. For the first time Inuyasha felt the call of blood to blood and though he was still ignorant of Miroku's presence, he would have raced towards the howls if not for Sesshoumaru firmly holding him in place. This meeting meant too much for it to be done were prying eyes could see it.

Inuyasha stood next to Sesshoumaru, though he showed no emotions outwardly, inside all his aspects were jiggling in anticipation. Inuyasha DID NOT 'jiggle' ad he found the antics of his aspects incomprehensible he stood there silent and waiting.

The doors opened, and golden eyes met and held. The two were both stunned into stillness, the reality of meeting thing like their imaginings.

Miroku did not, could not said anything. He was choking, he blinked so that the moisture gathering in his eyes fell rather than obstructing his sight of a being he only in his deepest fantasies hoped existed. A child of his blood, his loins, HIS Grandson. His tears falling, Miroku took a couple of stumbling steps forward, and simply opened his arms out to Inuyasha.

It was the eyes that did it. Miroku's eyes were open and unfettered and they spoke of love and acceptance, of need and blood, and before Inuyasha had even registered what he was doing, he was walking, stumbling towards his grandfather. Miroku moved, and they met each other half way, hugging and holding each other close. The scent of direct blood, of family, strong in their noses, there was no place for questions, no need for answers, for now presence was all that was needed. Presence was enough, and both were infinitely glad that the other was alive and existing in the world. That they had found each other was a miracle that for now did not require questioning.

The questions and answers would come later, for now the two held each other tight. Miroku's tears soaking Inuyasha's tunic. The sight, the smell, the feel of family, it was enough. The two stood there simply basking in their shared presence for a long, long time.

-tbc-

meh! I have to mark papers and attend a workshop for the whole weekend, so be happy there was a post. I missed writing this but I need to work. *sigh! Thanks so much, for reading, reviews will definitely make my mood better and Im sure my students would be most grateful to yoy for that. Thanks for the support. Hugs.