Lies, Letters, and Calloused Fingertips.

Lies, Letters, and Calloused Fingertips.



Chapter Twenty: …As This Tiny Voice in My Head Starts to Sing…



It was only one more year before the Higurashi clan grew. Jun and Masaru named their new son Higurashi Sachi after Masaru’s father, and it seemed to fit the boy unnaturally well. He was very much like his grandfather: quiet manner, witty sense of humor, calm yet fun-loving disposition. Hell, he even had the old man’s blue eyes!



I visited the family on-again, off-again over the next few years. From up close and afar, I watched as little Sachi grew, and his parents’ marriage flourished. They really were the perfect pair, Masaru and Jun, and seeing their relationship thrive so completely both warmed my heart – and broke it.



I had always known that Jun would make an excellent mother; seeing the way she was with Sachi overwhelmed me with pride. She just had this laid-back way about her that wasn’t there during her days spent as a geisha.



As Taisho Keiko, she wasn’t allowed to really be herself. Whenever she went out somewhere, either Masaru or myself needed to accompany her. She never cooked or cleaned for herself, and she never had any privacy, any real, quality time to herself. Keiko was an individual spirit, and she never had any real hope for a life all her own – or the love that could come with it.



Now, though, as Higurashi Jun, she had a new lease on life – and she made sure to take advantage of it. She filled it to the brim with love, laughter, happiness, and family. She used her newfound freedom to love her husband and raise her son.



Miko-life was a good life for her.



I’m still not sure why it was I didn’t notice that something was wrong sooner. Maybe my mixed feelings toward her happiness blinded me; maybe it was her happiness itself that blinded me.



No matter what it was, I still berate myself for not being more open-minded to the idea of tragedy striking.



Of course, at the time, I still had no idea what I’d done, what a mess I’d made.



We were in a park in Asakusa when she told me the news. Sitting on a bench, we watched as Sachi ran and laughed and played with the other children.



“There’s a reason I asked you to come with me today,” she started, a slight smile on her lips. I glanced at her for barely a second before returning my gaze to the small group of boys roughhousing on the grass nearby.



“I know,” was my only response.



I caught her smirk in the corner of my eye before she continued, “I’m sick, Inuyasha.”



My head snapped to the side, and I blinked at her. “Do you need to go home, Jun?” I asked her, concern leaking into my voice. “If you’re sick, you should go home and rest; I’ll watch Sachi while he plays and bring him home when he’s finished.”



Jun only smiled at me, chuckling. Her eyes twinkled with a strange combination of sadness and amusement. “I’m not that kind of sick, Inuyasha. This sort of illness won’t pass with a little rest.”



I watched her, still very confused by this point.



She sighed, looking down at her clasped hands. I guess she just couldn’t look me in the eye when her next words left her lips: “I’ve got cancer, Inuyasha.”



My eyes widened as my heart sank suddenly. I held my breath for a good minute, maybe longer, my mind racing. “What kind?” I asked, barely breathing as I stared at her.



Jun flushed a pretty pink color, still looking everywhere but at me. “I’d rather not say,” she murmured.



I huffed. “Well, why the fuck not?”



Her head turned, eyes flashing dangerously as they finally met my own. “Because it’s private, Inuyasha no baka!” she snapped back at me, and I stood, still reeling from the new information.



A thought struck me suddenly as I began to pace a little. “Does Masaru know?” I asked.



She shook her head. “I just found out yesterday,” she replied softly, gentle tears glimmering in her deep brown eyes. Looking at her, I had to keep reminding myself that she wasn’t you, Kagome – this wasn’t you, my own wife and soul mate, informing me of your upcoming death.



It was Masaru’s.



When she finally told him, I knew he’d be crushed.



I came back to myself when I felt her small hand slip into my own. Startled, my own eyes zeroed in on her face once again, and I just sat back down beside her and stared as she smiled at me.



“I wanted to tell you first because you are special to me, Inuyasha,” she said. “I have kept your secret – and the secret of your family – for many years, and in return you have protected me so fully. I… I just wanted to see if you would protect my family as you have protected me.”



I was about to say something when a soccer ball smacked me roughly in the left cheek. Both of us looked at the group of boys running to the other side of the playground.



“Yeah, Sachi, you better run!” I called to the blue-eyed menace, who had ducked quickly behind a thick tree trunk. “I’ll get you later, little man!”



Turning back to the boy’s mother, I made a face at her grin just as a joyful laugh escaped her. “What’s so funny?” I demanded gruffly.



Jun shook her head. “I’m sorry, Inuyasha!” she said, still laughing. “It’s just that – Well, the thought of what you’d be yelling at him if he were a girl crossed my mind, and it was just funny. That’s all.”



I quirked an eyebrow at her. “And what would that be?”



“What?”



“What would I be yelling at him if he were a girl?”



Jun blinked. “Oh,” she said, still wearing a small smile. “We would have named him – and any other daughter we’d had – after my mother. Higurashi Kagome.”



I froze upon hearing that name. I honestly hadn’t expected anything like that to be the name that Jun and Masaru had wanted to name their daughter. It just… I mean, come on. What were the odds?



“Well, Masaru and I were intending to have more children… but now that this has come up…” She stopped, and I could practically taste the sadness in her tone.



As she continued, my mind whirled in circles around all this new information for it to soak up, and I was beginning to feel like vomiting. Something in my gut told me I’d done something very bad – not just by committing adultery and, in some views, cheating on you, Kagome.



Something was off.



Suddenly, as Jun went on about the children she wished that she and Masaru had the time to have, it hit me like a ton of bricks. As I sat there, I held my breath, staring at her out of the corner of my eye.



It can’t be…



She looked exactly like you… The warm brown eyes, the sleek hair, the small nose and heart-shaped face with its rounded cheeks, high cheekbones, and sharp chin… Hell, she even sounded somewhat like you.



She married a Higurashi priest… They made it a family tradition to name their children after relatives… Her mother’s name was Kagome, meaning a daughter in the future generations would be named Kagome…



All this time, I’d thought Keiko – or Jun – was the spitting image of you, Kagome.



It turns out that you’re the spitting image of her.



The geisha I fell in love with… was your Obaasan.



Next time:



Chapter Twenty-One: …You’re Safe, Child.