LOVE POISON

AN:

I'd just like to respond to 'reviews' or 'flames' from the same person, that were neither since they did not refer to the story at all but were insulting me. I apologize to all of you for posting this here, but this was an anonymous reviewer and didn't even have the guts to give an email address for me to contact them. So here's my response, and I'm sorry to all those who might have been offended or dissapointed by the same reasons as this person. I wanted to email this to this reader, but unfortunately, I can't, and since I will be deleting these so called reviews, I will post them here too, so everyone can read them, and my reply to this person.

Anon 2005-09-20 id # 2035415332
How come when people get nominated for things, they automatically think they are above the other authors? I've noticed you've pushed your story up a few times today without updating, keeping it on the first page. Thats really sad! Your story isn't the only one out there. There are some just as good or even better. I really can't stand review whores. You and all the other authors that push the work that HAS been updated down just to make sure yours gets seen are really pathetic. Do everyone a favor, if you are going to keep pushing it up have the decency to atleast update!

After this one came a 'flame' in caps that was particularly insulting and I deleted, and I'm explaining you, Anon, why below. And after I did so, this is what this anonymous reviewer had to say:

Anon 2005-09-20 id # 2035415500
Don't delete my flame you pathetic bitch! What's the matter did I hit a nerve? Proves I was right, you are begging for attention. Delete my reviews if you want. I have plenty of shit to say and I don't mind leaving new ones. You can bet your sorry ass I'll keep checking on it. Push your shit up again, I'll flame your ass again. I see I'm not the only one you are annoying with your sad cry for attention. I don't think you want me to be nasty, this will be considered nice compared the next flame I will leave. Stop being a review whore! You got called on it, live with it, you sorry piece of shit!

Here's my response to you, Anon:

I'm sorry that you perceived this whole thing the way you did. It really saddened me. I deleted your flame in caps merely because you were not flaming the fic, but insulting me. You noticed I left the first one and it said the same thing except you were not being that insulting so I shrugged it off...you seemed more dissapointed and upset about the matter.

As for the other 'annoyed and dissapointed' reviewer, this person was polite and not childish about this, so I'm also asking 'annoyed and dissapointed' to forgive this, too.

Anon, I posted chapter 19 on Monday, and I dedicated Tuesday (the NEXT day) to EDITING my fic, which is why it was pushed up. Unfortunately, at AFFN, unlike mm.org that reads "UPDATED" when you edit instead of "NEW" when you add a new chapter, the fic just shows up in the first page.

I wanted to reply to this personally because I don't want this to become an issue but you left me no email address and no choice but to do this. I sent this message to the other anonymous reviewers who didn't sign in but did leave an address to be contacted. I really didn't want to post this here and let it become an issue or involve other people, because it's not. You're giving this way too much importance.

Yes, I like reviews. Why? Because I'm usually insecure about my work and I write for me but also for those who read the fic, and I want to know what they think. I don't care what you think of ME, Anon, but you're mistaken when you believe I push the fic up just to cry for attention.

And trust me, I KNOW there are way better fics than mine, and fics that deserved an award more than I did, IMO. I could give you many names of awesome authors I look up to. Trusuprise, Sueric, DelKaidin, Scherezade, SoutasSister, Cutie Pie Hentai, sublimetrickster, numisma, Rozefire, TailFluffGirl...the list goes on and on. And no, they don't know me, and they're not friends, except for three of these people (my beta Trusuprise, my co-writer Scherezade, and CP Hentai who has always been so sweet and supportive and I totally look up to her), and I'm proud to call them my friends.

These are all MUCH better fanfic authors than me. No, I don't think I'm better than anyone else or that my fic is better than others at all. If I had that high opinion of myself I wouldn't give a damn what readers have to say about my fic, but it so happens that I DO, cause it makes me happy to write it, and I want readers to be happy with it.

In fact, I look for fics, meaning I don't only read what's on the FIRST page of any fanfiction site. I'm sorry I offended and dissapointed you, or anyone else. But you insulted ME, and not the fic and therefore, that's not even a flame in my book. You can keep doing it, but I think we both know it's pretty much useless; for you to waste your time flaming me, and for me to respond to them or even delete them. If you feel so strongly about it, go ahead, but it would be pointless. I'm sure you have much better things to do.

As you can see here, I don't want to argue, and I don't want to get anyone else involved in this, which is why this was not supposed to be an AN but an email to YOU I would have sent you if you had had the decency to leave an email address. I hate it that I was forced to do this.

As for deleting your other reviews, I would, but I don't know who you are. As for your 'reviews' yesterday, they just hurt me. I didn't mean for you, or anyone, to think of it that way.

You're right, we don't know each other, and for you to think this of me obviously means you don't know anything about me. True, I love reviews, and I want to know what people like or don't like about the fic, but yours were not reviews. You were flaming just ME.
No, you weren't right and you didn't hit home, but you did hurt me. I understand though why you'd think that, I didn't put up a big neon sign in front of the title saying "I'M EDITING DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP!"

But this is the truth. I think I should have, but I didn't realize, so I'm sorry about that. I apologize to you and to all of those who might have thought this, although it never crossed my mind any of you would see it this way. If you don't believe it, Anon, just read back on all the chapters, from 1 to 15 were all edited yesterday, and it took me a long time too, for new readers, and because I meant to do this a long time ago.

I posted the new chapter on Monday and said it was going to take me a while to update so I don't see why you're so upset other than the fact that you seem to think I'm crying for attention.

I wanted to actually revise the whole fic but I won't if this is what people will think. I don't give a shit on which page my fic is as long as people read it and if I'm lucky, enjoy it, like I believe you used to do. What you think of me doesn't matter to me, Anon, but no one likes to be insulted, and you don't even know me. So if you stopped enjoying the fic, don't read it, and if insulting me is all you have to say, don't waste your time and mine and other readers' who are reading this now. It's bad enough that I was forced to make all of them waste their time with this.

But don't insult me anymore either. And if you do, please email me and let this be just between us.

I sincerely apologize to Lori. She's always been a sweetheart and since the last anonymous review had her email address on it (she forgot to sign in), I sent her this and confused the hell out of her, along with two other people that probably had nothing to do with this in hopes you'd be one of them and I wouldn't have to do this.

I was angry at first, but now that I think about it, you're right to be annoyed, and so was the other reviewer, so I wanted to apologize to you in an email, and I was going to do this too in the next chapter in the AN, both to you and to 'annoyed and dissapointed'.

I've never been in a flame war and I'm not about to start now. I hope you accept my apologies. I'm very sorry I came across that way.

People have flamed my FIC before in other sites and I NEVER delete those. In fact there isn't a single review I have ever deleted except for one of yours yesterday and it was just plain hurtful and meaningless. But I explained already why I deleted it.
Please don't waste your time reading this fic or writing reviews if you're going to throw empty insults at me.

I hope this was clarified and that you're not upset, it was not my intention. So I apologize again.

Next time I edit, if I do, I will change the title and add in caps "BEING EDITED" for all of you. That was my mistake, and for that I'm sorry again. Don't let this become an issue, Anon. It's not really worth it.

I apologize to you all for this. But this really hurt my feelings. Anon, your reviews are here cause you don't want them deleted so everyone can see your 'opinion' of me. So I will delete them and ask again of you not to make this an issue, and again, I hope you forgive me. That's up to you, of course. If you choose not to, just stop reading the fic, no one is forcing you to. Sorry for this misunderstanding.

YM