A Love That Never Was

Author’s note: Citrus alert, Citrus alert! ::giggle:: In all seriousness, this is my first attempt ever at writing a scene like this so flame away. I want to know if I’m doing anything wrong or right with it. Also, I want to give a special thanks to Jasmine Fields who put me on the recommended Fan fic’s list on the Kagome and Sesshoumaru: A Single Spark website. As well as lots of love to the rest of you!

Disclaimer: Do I have to say it every time? It’s so depressing! Ok fine, I don’t own Inuyasha.


Sesshoumaru walked down the street. He was hadn’t called, but what was the worst that would happen? She was busy? She wasn’t home. eacheached her house and stood in front of the door for a minute. Am I a fool, he wondered. I know how much this is tearing me apart. I know that the best thing to do would be to leave. That’s it. I’ll just leave. I’ll walk away, pack my things, go back to Tokyo, and forget about her. Instead he rang the doorbell.

He waited for an answer. After half a minute he started to walk away. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he heard the door open and her voice call out his name. Her scent mixed with the scent on alcohol reached him. He sniffed. A lot of alcohol. He turned around.

She stood in the doorway, swaying back and forth mildly. She wore a tank top and a pair of shorts. He had never seen her legs before and they seemed forever. Her eyes were fuzzy and cheeks were bright red, most likely from the alcohol she had consumed. She smiled at him.

“Please come in. I wasn’t expecting company, but hey, the more the merrier. I warn you though. I’m not in the best of moods. My company won’t be very enjoyable today. Enter at your own risk,” she slurred. Without waiting she turned around and went inside. Worriedly, he followed her, closing the door behind him. She had sat down on the couch, a half finished bottle of rum on the table. He sat down next to her, trying to figure out why would have put herself in such a state.

“How are you, Katherine?” he asked.

“I’m drunk,” she replied, the satisfaction evident in her voice.

“I can tell. But what on earth are you doing by yourself and drunk in the middle of the day?” She smiled wearily.

“It’s an experiment.” He looked at her quizzically. “I want to have a full nights sleep. I have never had a full nights sleep. Every damn night, it’s another dream. Or nightmare. I guess they must be nightmares. I always wake up crying so they obviously can’t be happy dreams. Every God damn night of my life. And I can’t ever remember them. I’ve tried therapy, hypnosis, all kinds of stupidly expensive things. And I still can’t remember. Not a bit. Which sucks. I know that if I could just remember one of them, they would all stop. I know it!” She pounded the table for emphasis, bringing her attention back to the bottle. She stopped and poured herself a drink.

“So if I can’t remember, maybe I can forget. Maybe I can get my mind so drunk that I won’t be able to think, much less dream. So, bottom’s up.” She tilted back her head and downed her drink. As she reached out again for the bottle, Sesshoumaru gently grabbed her wrist.

“I think that you have had enough,” he told her. She turned on him, her eyes flashing angrily.

“How do you know what’s enough? You don’t have to live with this. You don’t have to wake up every night in pain. It hurts so bad,” she said, her voice dropping to a whisper. “You have no idea how much it hurts.” Her shoulders sagged defeatedly. He moved over intending to take in his arms and comfort her. But the second her touched she jumped up, glaring at him.

“Don’t you look at me that way!” she shouted, starting to cry. “I’m so tired of people looking at me that way!” He pulled back, instantly retreating to the icy façade he had used for most of his life.

“And what way is that, Katherine?” he asked coldly. Her response astounded him.

“Pity,” she said softly. “I’m so tired of pity. Poor little Kat, can’t take car of herself since her parents died! Poor Kat, whose dreams always make her cry! Poor Kat who has some kind of a fucking disease that can’t be cured! Sure it’s not gonna kill me, it just ruins my life! Poor Kat who can’t even choose a guy on her own because he might end up killing her! Fucking pity! I am so sick of fucking pity!” Her voice rose into a scream and she was sobbing hysterically. She thought he pitied her? Suddenly furioSessSesshoumaru stood up and grabbed her by the shoulders. How dare she accuse him of this? How dare she speak to him this way?

“Damn it woman, I do not pity you!” he shouted as he spun her around to face him. She was still crying, but she glared at him defiantly.

“Yeah than what is it?” she asked angrily.

“I love you!” He shouted as he brought his mouth down to hers. He crushed her against him as he brutally forced her mouth open with his. He kissed her with all the passion he had been holding inside for centuries. At first she struggled in his arms, but after a moment he felt her begin to respond. He slowly felt the ice he had surrounded himself with melt. It was as if he held a living flame in his arms. Her body warmed to his touch and her braided hair seemed to give off sparks as the light hit it. He groaned as she wrapped her arms around his neck and entwined her hands in his hair. She slowly dragged her fingers through his hair, pulling back to look at him.

“Do you have any idea how long I have wanted to do this?” she asked his hair ran through her fingers. He felt the part of him that was inu begin to respond to her, as well as the part that was male. With a groan he pulled her back to him, trailing kisses down her soft neck. As she moaned softly, he picked her and carried her over to the couch. He carefully laid her down and slowly ran his hands up and down her body over her clothing. Her breath was coming quickly and as his hands played with her breast she arched her back and moaned with pleasure. He leaned over and inhaled. He could smell her arousal, her pleasure, and her innocence. He pulled back his surprise, temporarily dimming the hungers that had been awakened.

“You are untouched?” he asked her. She bit her lip and nodded.

“That’s not a problem is it?” She asked sounding completely unsure of herself. He gently stroked her cheek.

“It is not a problem. I think it is quite admirable. But I will not take your innocence like this.” She opened her mouth and quickly shushed her with a kiss. He pulled back not even knowing what he was going to say, merely opening his mouth and letting the words come out.

“If I take you Katherine, it will be final. You will be mine forever and I do not think you are ready for that. Adding into the fact that you have been drinking. The day that I take to you tobed,bed, you will be clear minded. That way you will know everything that is being done to you.” She squirmed slightly underneath him. He could still smell her arousal.

“But,” he said softly, “That does not mean that you cannot have the release from yourself that you eagerly crave.”

He slowly slid a hand up her legs, running his fingers over the silky smooth flesh. He reached the edge of her shorts and began to slowly tease her, sliding his finger under them and then pulling away to stroke her leg. His other hand moved back and forth between her breast, stroking one nipple and then flicking the other. He took pleasure in watching her body writhe under him. Her head was tilted back and her eyes were closed. With one quick movement he slid his hand under her shorts and underwear, finding her hot moist slit. A startled cry escaped her lips.

“Am I the first to ever touch you this way, Katherine?” he asked, all the heat he was feeling evident in his voice. She nodded wordlessly. A wave of satisfaction overtook him as he slowly began to rub her clit. She moaned softly and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his neck. As he continued to pleasure her, her moans and cries came faster and louder. He felt her nails digging into his shoulder. He used his other hand to tilt her face towards his.

“Don’t hide. I want to see you’re your pleasure written on your face.” He rubbed a littleter,ter, her wetness allowing his fingers to slide easily back and forth. Finally her body went stiff, and he kissed her as her orgasm shot through her. She screamed her pleasure into his mouth, but when her cry died down, her body did not relax. If anything it grew stiffer. He pulled back and to his shock, saw that she was glowing bright pink.

He pulled away, trying to protect himself as the miko energy shot out of her body, straight at him. The blast hit him full on as he used every bit ofrgy rgy he had to try and protect himself. He managed to survive the blast but his illusion spell was stripped away. He stood there before her in his full youkai glory, claws, fangs and markings fully revealed. Katherine sat there eyes wide with fear. There was trace of alcohol or intoxication in the air now. He purifying powers must have taken care of that. Her eyes were clear and she stared at him, terrified.

Before either of them could say a word, a burst of bright light filled the room. Sesshoumaru turned his head away from it.

“Oh God, what’s happening?” he heard Katherine wail as the light died down. He looked back towards. There floating above her left hip was the Shikon No Tama. Her eyes were full of confusion and recognition as she stared at the jewel. She looked up him.

“Western Lord?” she asked before her eyes rolleck ick in her head and she fell over.