Red Lotus

A/N: Again, when this was first written Daniella beta-read it. Any mistakes you see are my fault since I added and changed things around. 

Red Lotus

2. The Proposition

Three days.

The last time she saw Sesshomaru was three days ago. It was weird that she was counting the days because he was almost a complete stranger to her, but she could not help it. Perhaps she wanted to empty her heart out about the past, ask question, or maybe she wanted to talk about something that did not have anything to do with her sickness.

So far her day did not go by too bad. She was able to eat her food without throwing it up. Although, food that went through the blender and could be drank through a straw should not qualify as food. Still, at least she had something in her stomach and perhaps it would give her a bit of energy. She would not have a treatment for the next few days, meaning she might have a chance to feel better. It was getting exhausting to throw up every day.

Plus, she rather enjoyed having a fuzz of hair on top of head. She did not want to lose it all again.

Kagome sat herself up in her bed, tired of lying down. The sunlight was brightening the room and it was refreshing. She wished that one day she could be outside again and live like she used to. There was the small chance that the treatment would work, and she would vanquish the disease, but the chances were so small that she did not want to hang onto the hope.

She almost scoffed at herself for having such a thought. Was she not the girl who fought for the last bit of hope left? Was she not the girl who put her life on the line when darkness was threatening to swallow everything? And now that it was her own hope she needed to hang on to, she refused to do so?

Life was full of irony.

"Miko."

The sound of his voice made her jump involuntarily. She quickly turned her head in his direction and offered him a weak smile. Sesshomaru took it as his cue to enter her room. He walked onward until he reached the side of her bed. Frankly he was debating when to come but when the days started to pass by he decided that it was time to go.

"Than-k you for c-oming."

He could help but notice that her voice seemed a bit better. She was not as out of breath as the last time he saw her. He did not know if that meant she was better or simply that she was under the influence some kind of medication. Since he was not going to ask any question, he stood by her side waiting for her to say something.

"I kno-w that ho-spital chairs don't look like the be-st option, but it feels a li-ttle awkward with you stan-ding there."

Sesshomaru gave her a nod before sitting in the chair. It was not as if he could catch any of the diseases human had, but he still did not enjoy smelling it all around him. Though, his sense of smell was already overwhelmed by all the disgusting scents of the hospital itself.

Kagome wanted to talk but the way Sesshomaru remained stoic made it hard to know if he would be bothered by conversation. Frankly she did not care what promise he made to Inuyasha. He did not have to honor it because she could not care less. Sesshomaru did not have to watch over her or anything. As a matter of fact she knew that the proper thing to do would be to release him from that promise.

She was well aware that he being in her company was not what he wanted.

"You don't h-ave to come anymore," she said prior to looking straight into his eyes.

He shook his head. "I will continue to come."

"Look wha-tever promise you have with In-uyasha, it doesn't matter. You don't have to w-atch over me."

"It is not that simple."

"Well, I don't wa-nt you bound to me be-cause of that."

"Miko, I will remain here."

Kagome felt the urge to roll her eyes, but gave up as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I would not t-alk to you, but you would e-njoy that."

"Hn."

Sesshomaru was a strange character and she could not pinpoint him. Would he actually be upset if she asked about him? Frankly she could try. The worst thing that could happen would be that he would not provide her with an answer.

"Do you ha-ve a family?"

"No."

"D-o you have a jo-b?"

"Yes."

"What do y-ou do?"

"Banker."

"Are you g-oing to ke-ep giving m-e one word an-swers?"

"Hn."

Since Sesshomaru decided to say nothing more than one word, she would try to make him talk. Though she doubted he would share such personal information with her.

"Why don't you have a family?"

He did not have an answer for that. In the past he had Rin who was his daughter, and since then nothing else came along. It was true that he did not looked, or searched to have a family, but nonetheless.

"I had no desire for it."

"You don't e-ven want a kid?"

He could not deny that since his brother was gone, and never had any progenitor, he was the one left to continue their bloodline. He always thought he would have one son and stop there, but it did not occur yet. It was true that at this point the situation would be more difficult since there were a lot less youkais around. Of course he could always mate a human but the thought was not enjoyable to him.

"Perhaps one day."

She lifted her eyebrows in surprise. "You're old. One d-ay might never happen."

As soon as she was done speaking her words, her eyes began to sting with pain. Being a mother was a wish of hers for a long time. Especially since Shippo, who was like a son to her, she always wanted children of her own. Now however, that wish was out of her grasp.

"You c-an have a f-amily. You sh-ould take that opportunity. N-ot everyone has it."

Her words came out much harsher than she intended to, but she could not help the small bitterness in her voice. After all, many things were being taken away from her and sometimes it was overwhelming.

Sesshomaru noticed her tone, but his expression did not change. Of course she desired to be a mother. She, a miko, took a kitsune as her child when she was still so young. Obviously motherhood was something that ran through her veins. Frankly, she was most deserving to be a mother than most that where.

Though that would not convince him to have a family, but he understood her emotions.

"Life is fu-nny. I never thought I'd b-e lying here, dy-ing, talking to you."

A little laugh escaped her as she shook her head. Hanging out with Sesshomaru. Something was wrong with her. "Please, re-lieve me of my insanity. You lived through hundre-ds of years. You must have s-ome stories!"

She wanted him to tell her a tale? Of course he possessed much knowledge of all the myths and old tales of the past, but he never actually shared them with anyone. Perhaps he told Rin a few in the past, but ever since then, the occasion did not present itself. He was not one for long conversations or for talking for a long period of time.

Frankly, he could leave now. He responded to her request of coming, and he was looking after her in some sort of manner. He could say no now and be on his way. Above all, there were a million things he could be doing with his time, including working. Yet he found himself staying in his seat. He held some respect for her. She did not fear anything, not even death it seemed, she knew respect and she was a half-decent Miko.

Perhaps one story would not hurt.

He should not really stay. This was not his environment and frankly it was sort of boring to him. Then again, there was something about her that made this less irritating than it should be. Maybe it was her scent. In the whole disgusting whirlwind of scents of the hospital, hers was singled out very easily.

Sakura flowers.

She was sick, maybe dying, and it should alter her scent and make it horrible. Yet it did not. It smelled just like it did when he met her for the first time. He could remember it well because it was not like any other humans,' not even Rin's.

It was distinguished, different, and vibrant.

Hn.

Perhaps he could indeed tell one story.

-R-

Another treatment, another day.

Three weeks passed since Sesshomaru first came to see her and she was surprised by the way he altered things. Prior to him, she felt stuck in the present, but now that an element from her past came in her future. She felt easier, lighter. Of course, she was still dying, but her life broke out of its routine.

During the past three weeks, Sesshomaru visited her fourteen times. He came almost every day. Sometimes, they said next to nothing at all. Other times there would be a little bit of conversation before he would tell her another story. She found herself enjoying and looking forward to those moments.

She enjoyed hearing the stories of what her friends went through during the past, their own hardships, and what their lives were like. She missed the adventure, and danger that used to be in her own life. This was her only way to still be in that kind of situation.

Since he came for the last three days, she assumed that he would not come to see her today. That meant she would be stuck in her hospital bed for the day, waiting for the hours to go by. Hopefully her treatment wore her out enough that she would be able to sleep right away.

After all these weeks, she still did not know much about Sesshomaru, but at this point it hardly mattered. She never really knew who he was then, and not knowing who he was now… was no big deal. Actually she knew about his new person. The way he talked was more expressive and a bit friendlier than before. She enjoyed that.

It no longer felt as if she was talking to a brick wall.

She looked forward to their conversations.

Meanwhile on the other side of town, Sesshomaru dropped his jacket on the armrest of the couch before walking in direction of the kitchen. He did not get tired, yet he found himself exhausted. Perhaps it was because he obtained no rest at all between his work and his visits at the hospital.

He did not have to go as often as he did, but he found himself going nonetheless.

Sesshomaru never really found many humans worth any interest. Most of them had annoying habits and they bothered him. Yet, the Miko was different. First of all her scent was not offending, and second of all, she actually could listen. He could no longer speak of the past, and nobody knew who he used to be, but she did.

She knew he was important, and powerful. She even showed respect while speaking instead of using disgusting slangs. She had opinions, and shared in a polite manner. It was rare for him to not mind discussing things, but she made it easier than anyone else. Frankly, compared to all humans, he preferred her. It was - dare he say - a shame she was one that would die. Many others were useless, and would live.

The last time he allowed a human to be in his company it was Rin. He never thought the next person would be the Miko. Of course Rin was a whole different matter. There was no way to explain how Rin entered his life and stayed. The only part that deserved to be told was that she was his daughter, and there was nothing else to it.

He found himself thinking what his relationship with the Miko was. He had some sort of obligation to her, but it was clear now that he was going over the boundaries of that obligation. He did more than he had to. Could it be because he was completely alone since Jaken passed away and stopped following him? It could not be. He was not one to seek company; he usually despised it.

Sesshomaru was not seeking her companionship, but he did not mind being around her because of her knowledge of the past. When he was around her, he regained some of the dignity he lost throughout the years. He could not save her, but he could perhaps remain around for her the time she had left. It did not seem to bother her, neither did it bother him so he did not see a problem with it.

He did not carry the rage he used to have and frankly at this point, youkai or not, it barely mattered.

Sesshomaru glanced around at his empty apartment, and the words of Kagome came back to his mind. The thought never crossed his mind but it was true that he was getting a bit old to not even have a mate to settle with and an heir.

At that instant, a strange thought crossed his mind.

Mate.

It was ridiculous. Something that up until now, he did not even think of. Mostly because he would never do that and it would make no sense. Yet, if mating was to occur between him and the Miko it would most likely… heal her? Youkais did not get cancer and if his youki mixed with her aura, it would most likely be strong enough to get rid of the virus killing her, or at least weaken it so that her treatments could kill it.

Of course, he could not do that.

For years he despised his father for choosing a human lover and procreating with her; diluting their blood. There was no way he could do that, even if it saved her life. Except now the thought would be stuck with him. He promised to protect her, and look after her. This was a way to protect her, but this was too much involvement.

He would be linking his life to hers only to save her?

Sesshomaru pulled on his elastic, freeing his ponytail before sitting down on the nearest chair. Would it make sense? He would have to take care of her and look after her. He was pretty sure it was not what Inuyasha meant when he asked. It would never be what he meant. The hanyou was always very protective of Kagome and even when he went after two different women, he wanted no one near the Miko.

Obviously this was a bad decision from the start.

Saving one more human, would it really make a difference? He had a duty toward her… but could he stand her for over a hundred years? Her life would be lengthened by the process meaning she would be by his side for a while.

If he did the insanity of mating her, that meant he would have to take care of her, and she would move in with him. Feelings for her or not, he would find himself once again bound by his honor. Also by human customs, he would probably have to marry her since she came from a shrine. It was true he did not mind her company as much as he thought he would, but it did not mean he wished to spend the rest of her life with her.

A few hours every couple of days for weeks was fine and tolerable. A lifetime on the other end…

But it would save her.

She rid the world of Naraku. Something he could not have done alone no matter how much that thought bothered him. Also, she dealt with the whole jewel problem, which was somewhat bothersome since it corrupted many weak youkais and had affected his own life.

Rin was fond of her as well.

Though Rin liked a lot of people.

But she looked at the Miko differently.

Sesshomaru ran his fingers through his long silver locks pondering the issue. This was a big decision. Him tying himself up to a human, even if it was not out of feelings. Could he do that? Perhaps he was throwing the word tolerable around a bit too loosely. He could stand her for a few hours. He respected her lack of fear even in the face of death. That did not mean he could mate her.

Was he that much of a different person from who he used to be?

-R-

Kagome glanced at herself in the mirror, examining her face. A long time ago, she gave up on her hair. When it first fell out she was heartbroken, but as she felt weaker she got over it. Hair did not really matter when you were fighting for your life. Nonetheless, her hair grew a bit past a buzz cut, and she was hoping she would be able to keep it this time.

The one thing that was depressing her now was her cheeks digging in and her sloppy eyes with dark circles under them. She would eventually get over it, but for now, she was bothered by the fact that she no longer looked like herself. She was nothing but a shell, a shadow of who she used to be.

"Miss Higurashi?"

Kagome snapped her head in direction of the doorway of the washroom and peeked around only to see the nurse looking for her. Using her wheelchair, Kagome moved out of the bathroom to find out that Sesshomaru was standing beside the nurse. She offered him a smile before nodding to the nurse, who took it as her cue to leave.

"Hey," she said as she struggled to make her way back to the bed.

Sesshomaru did not help her by pushing her chair because he knew her. He would give her a hand in lifting herself into the bed if she required it, but he would not help her if she did not need it. Even if she was sick Kagome was not a weak person, and she usually did things on her own if she could.

Kagome put her hands on the rail of the bed, her tongue sticking out of her mouth as she grabbed on as hard as she could, ready to pull herself up. Often a nurse would do this for her, but she liked to do it. Because of her condition she did not have many things left, and this was one of them.

She had to do this.

Her lungs were hurting, and she was breathing more heavily than she should, but she kept going. Minutes ticked away when she finally managed to pull her second leg over the rail. Her chest was heaving as she lay down and she felt the sweat dripping down her neck and back.

She was glad that Sesshomaru did not provide any assistance. It meant that she was not completely useless just yet. As she tried to regain her breath she could not help but notice that, except yesterday, Sesshomaru come four days in a row. She could not help but wonder if something was wrong.

Kagome decided that she would not be the first one to speak. As a matter of fact, it was a little game she was enjoying for the past month. She would wait and see if he would speak if she remained silent. A few times, he actually would. It made her feel as if he did not actually despise her.

"We will be going out."

At the sound of his words she frowned. Going out? Clearly Sesshomaru needed to adjust his vocabulary because he had it all wrong. Unless he meant he was taking her outside again, which frankly did not sound great at the moment especially because of how much energy she was lacking.

"Go-ing out?"

"I believe the right term is date."

For a second Kagome felt as if her heart stopped beating. There had to be some side effect to her treatment and her hearing was not right. Sesshomaru did not say that they would be going on a date. First of all, it was the most insane thing she ever heard in her whole life, and second of all it made no sense! Okay… both points were the same, but that was how unbelievable this was.

Sesshomaru-sama would never ask her, a human, out for a date.

"I'm s—s-orry?"

His own words sounded insane to him as well, but he decided that it was what he would do. He figured that doing the human way and proposing a date first would be more appropriate. Not that he had any intention to court her. This was to save her life because he was bound by his promise.

He knew this feeling in his chest. It was the same one he had when he brought Rin back to life. There was no reason for it. He could, so he did. Of course, this was much more inconvenient than taking Rin as his ward, but nonetheless.

"You will not die Miko."

She could not help but blink a few times before using some of her left over strength to sit up in the bed so she would be able to look at his face because she still could not believe what was happening. The more words came from his mouth, the more confused she was. She wondered if her drugs were affecting her, or he was on drugs.

"I w-on't?"

"Miko are you aware of youkai mating?"

To be honest she did not know much. She had a few conversations over the years, most of them with Sango who was a youkai expert. How they came on the subject every time was a bit strange, but they had the conversations regardless. She knew it would lengthen a human's life, but it was about it.

"I would live l-onger if I was-n't d-yin-g?"

"It will heal you."

The impact of his words hit her so hard her eyes filled with water. His words had more impact than he realized. She gave up on hope, and he had no right to come and tell her she would live. He had no right to come and tell her he could save her life. He had no right to come and tell her he could take the disease away.

It could not be taken away.

She would die. She was going to die.

Did he know what that would mean? She could get her dreams back; she could live her life again. She spent the first year of her life back in the modern time trying to get over the loss of her friends and family. It took her so long and when she had finally done so, her right to live was snatched away from her.

Now he was dangling hope back in her face, and she did not know how to react.

"I can't a-c-cept that."

It hurt, and it caused the tears to roll down her cheeks. It would be nice to be free of the disease, but she could not accept his offer just because he made a promise to Inuyasha. It was not fair to her, or him. This would change their lives forever and it was not something she could allow him to do. She was not selfish, and she would not tie someone into a situation they did not wish for.

Honor and promises could not mean that much.

"You ma-de a pr-omise to Inu-yasha a l-ong time ago. You do-n't have to go that f-ar."

A dark chuckle almost escaped him and it was such a strange sound coming from him, she could not prevent the surprise that took over. "Miko do you believe this Sesshomaru would mate you because the hanyou required that of him?" He tilted forward slightly before continuing. "It would actually make the hanyou very angry if I did this."

Through her tears a small smile appeared on her lips. "It would."

It was insane she did not love Sesshomaru. It was true his company was nowhere near as terrible as she believed it to be, but mating him? If she remembered correctly it was a lifetime commitment. Could it be something she could do? Could it be something he could do? There was no way he meant it.

"It's for-ever."

"The mark is, our," he stopped to chose the right word. "Relationship will not be. You will be alive, and free to do as you wish."

He would save her life, and ask for nothing in return? "Why? And don-'t te-ll me it's be-cause of your pr-omise."

A reason, there was no reason. His sword pulsed, he used it. She was dying, he could mark her. He respected people who deserved to be respected. She earned it. What was a hundred more years? He had to keep hiding while humans were still in power. He might as well save a worthy human at the same time. He mentioned how he lacked the desire to have a family, meaning this would not affect him at all.

"Rin would not have wanted you to die. She spoke highly of you. I believe there was a reason for that." It was the only reason she needed to hear.

Had Sesshomaru just given her a compliment? She did not know if she should be scared or flattered. Nonetheless, she found herself very confused. Mating Sesshomaru would be a very difficult thing to accept. Not because he was a horrible person, but because he was himself. He should be tied down to a human. Actually, she found it to be a horrible fate, even for him. He did fight at their side during the final battle.

"I'm hu-man, "she stated blankly.

"I am aware."

It was not fair. She could not let him give her the gift of life and not return the favor. The least she could do was leave him alone afterwards. Make sure she was not a part of his life at all. "I'd l-eave y-ou alone…"

He already considered all the possibilities. If it was better that she remained with him, both for perhaps the sake of her mother and family and also for the outside world, then so be it. He did not need to speak with her, he did not need to be there for her. He would have fulfilled his promise and saved her life. There would be nothing else to it.

"As your mate, it would not be honorable to not look after you."

She blinked again very slowly. He wanted her to stay with him? "Did you rea-lly think t-his through?"

He nodded. Perhaps he did not take days to consider it, but he felt as if it was the right thing. This was not a love story, or a romance. They would not be together. She would want her own path, and he would stay on the one he was on this whole time. Nonetheless he would honor his obligation. He would look after her.

She deserved to live.

"And I will live?"

He nodded. "Correct."

She licked her dry lips before taking a deep breath, hurting her lungs in the process.

"If yo-u are s-ure."

Her heart was beating faster than it ever had in a long time, and she could hear it echo in her mind. She felt selfish for taking the opportunity but Sesshomaru looked so determined. If he did this, if she lived, then she would owe him everything. She would make it up to him. She would use the extra time he gave her to show her gratitude.

A man that was a complete stranger, that she did not know very well, was throwing his life in the mix just to save hers. He was the last person she ever expected to do that, but she was eternally grateful. Sesshomaru was clearly not given enough credit in the past. She would never think he would be willing to mingle his destiny with someone else's.

And she would never think that she would accept such a proposition.

"I would not offer if I was not."

The tears kept coming as she nodded.

"Sesshomaru?"

"Hn?"

"Thank you." What else could she say?

He nodded once more watching her expression lift, and the twinkle in her eyes appeared again. Sesshomaru did not often something for someone else. Frankly he never thought he would. At this moment he was about to tie himself to her just for her gain her life back and for his honor.

And it was okay.

Though five hundred years ago, it would have been the most disgusting thought.

Kagome lifted her arms and wiped the tears away from her eyes. She never felt such a big surge of energy before in her life and it felt nice to be alive again. She offered him a smile through the tears before biting on her bottom lip. Her heart was drowned in emotions and her mind was overwhelmed. She gave up. He brought back hope.

"A d-ate huh?"

"I believe it is what is customary."

This was not really a normal situation. "I'm not s-ure I ca-n do much i-n this state."

He was not proposing this date for himself. He was doing it to make it more comfortable for her. It was nothing more than a technicality for him. He knew that she, a human, did not work the same way and that feelings were most likely involved in whatever she did. This transition was for her. Though, he was not familiar with the whole dating he did agree with her that until the mating, she was stuck in this hospital bed for the most part.

"W-what is ma-ting exactly? I m-ean h-ow is it do-ne?" she inquired between breathes.

One thing was certain: it was not usually done like they were about to do it. "Mating is a very physical experience for youkais. The male bites the female during the peek of their sexual encounter."

She never thought it possible for her skin to be any other color than pale white but she was wrong. She felt heat in her cheeks despite how frozen cold her flesh always was lately. Sexual encounter. He did not – did he think – she could not.

"No need to concern yourself, Miko." Her scent spiked rapidly with a displeasing smell and he did not like it. "There will not be such encounter between us. I will heighten your feelings differently and bite you. It might require more time for the mating to heal you however."

She spent her teenager years between loving a boy who loved someone else, getting over that boy, and dying. During that time, she was unable to actually experience a relationship.

"That-s fine."

Many more questions ran through her mind, like when? But she never asked any. As a matter of fact, something else concerned her. How was she to explain this to her mother? She did not want to lie but she did not know how she would feel about the truth. At least, her family would be more at ease if they no longer had to pay expensive hospital bills.

"Whenever you are comfortable, we will proceed."

"A-re you r-eall-y on-ly doi-ng this be-cause you pro-mis-ed Inu-yasha?" He did mention another reason but she did not buy it.

"It was decided that I would do what I could to keep you safe. This keeps you safe and it does not affect my life." It did. A little. Not enough for it to be an inconvenience, though.

The Miko would have her life and he would have his. He doubted she would interfere and he would return the favor. Also, it would make it easier for him to stick with his obligation. No harm would come to her while she bore his mark. His conscience, one he unfortunately developed because of Rin, would be sparred. He did not need more reasons to be awake at night.

She gave him the best smile she could manage. "An-yt-ime. When you-'re r-eady, I'll be too."

Soon, she would be able to breathe, to move and to be truly alive without pain. There was no greatest gift than the one of life. Some would say it was ironic that Sesshomaru out of all people was to give her life but she did not. She remembered that his father chose to give him, Tenseiga, the sword of life.

Perhaps there was a reason for that.

-R-