In Time of Silver Rain

All previous disclaimers apply.

A/N: I must say a huge thank you to the two betas who have taken me on and are very quickly, I know, going to become the most depended on people in my wiritng life. They've both already done so much and I appreciate them more than I can say. Any remaining mistakes are purely mine from my last edit. Apologies and deepest thanks to sesshys jaded samuri and wolfgoddess12. Please check out their writings if you want to see fabulousness!

"How did he do?" Kagome's soft voice broke into Sesshomaru's silent observation of his pup as he watched their youngest resting peacefully, his small chest moving gently as he breathed deeply and evenly in his sleep.

"He did very well," Sesshomaru said quietly, not wanting the pup to wake. Kazu had seemed so worn after his short training session. The was a very uncomfortable weight in Sesshomaru's chest as he pushed a few strands of the bright silver hair away from the closed eyes he knew by heart were exactly the same color as his own. With the clawed tips of his fingers he traced the outline of the boy's face, his eyes, nose, and mouth, turned down in what seemed to be an unpleasant dream that Sesshomaru wished he could lift from his son's mind, before he turned to his mate.

Kagome was dressed in a rich kimono he had gifted to her just after she had recovered from her long illness after Kazumitsu's birth and the death of his twin. Despite their many years together he still hadn't known what to do when faced with the overwhelming wave of her grief. He had been trying to battle his own grief at the time as well without letting it show outwardly and hadn't had been able to see that the only thing Kagome had needed from him at the time had been him there with her, to hold her while she cried, to admit, even if it was only to her, that he would miss seeing their child grow and learn with his siblings. It had been a boy, the midwives had told him before they had taken the too small, lifeless body away. They hadn't let him see the body of his small son, knowing that it would likely lead to a destructive rage that no one could control save for his mate, and she had been in no shape to take him on. He had stayed by her bedside for seven days and nights as she fought with fever and blood loss, never once daring to take his eyes off of her for fear that she would slip from him. He hadn't even dared to look at their surviving son until the night Kagome's fever had broken.

When he had finally looked at the boy it had nearly sent him into a rage. The pup had been so small, so very small. His breathing had been irregular and his coloring so off that he'd almost looked grey. Sesshomaru had felt so helpless, knowing there was nothing he could do to help his son, that there was nothing he knew to do to help his mate, that he had run, not knowing what else to do. He had ordered expensive things brought in for his mate, for all of their children, and had fled to the mountains to allow his beast to rage, to allow himself to be free of all grief, all attachments, all feelings. After nearly a month his beast had begun to call for his mate, demand why she was not there. And he had finally allowed himself to calm, allowed his rage to subside, and went home to his family. The twins, still too young to be angry at him for his long absence, had run to him and thrown themselves in his arms. Rin had done the same. Shippou had kept his arms crossed and had merely nodded. Sesshomaru had respected his anger. He had left the kit's mother and the newborn pup alone at a time they needed him most. The ladies of the castle had bowed respectfully and made him feel three inches tall with their accusing glares. Inuyasha, Akina, the monk, and the slayer, who had all come to help Kagome through the difficult pregnancy and had stayed after the difficult birth, had all acted as if they wanted to attack him that very moment, but refrained on a word from Kagome alone.

"No," She had stated simply, "None of you will interfere. This is between my lord and me."

"Kagome…" Inuyasha had started, moving toward her.

"Thank you," she'd said quietly, "all of you. But, Sesshomaru and I need to settle this ourselves."

She had been the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, standing in the doorway, her hair loose around her shoulders, her feet bare, and her eyes blazing in anger. But, not hate. He had expected hate and had been relieved when he hadn't seen it. When he had followed her into the room his eyes had gone immediately to the cradle where a small being was laid, arms waving about in the air. He had crossed the room and fallen to his knees next to his child, his heart catching in his throat. This pup had both his silver hair and his golden eyes, but his stubborn little nose, the curve of his lips, and the intelligence in his eyes as he looked up at his sire were completely Kagome. Sesshomaru had run a finger over his tiny features for the first time.

"The pup lives…I did not think…He was so weak…"

"He's still weak," Kagome had said curtly, "The physicians think he'll probably be weak all his life. But, he's alive, yes. And if I have anything to say about it he will have a long, happy life." She'd whirled on him, unable to keep her anger in any longer, "You left. Right when I needed you the most, you left! Did you think that expensive clothes and jewelry could make up for you not being here?"

He'd stood, turned to cross to her, "My lady…"

"Don't dare! Don't even try to touch me!" A wave of her purifying power had washed over him, painful enough to have him doubling over to catch his breath. The pup began to shift unhappily in his bed and Kagome crossed the room quickly to pick him up. Sesshomaru watched, amazed, as the same power that had hurt him wrapped blue and gentle around the pup to calm and soothe as Kagome kissed his forehead and murmured reassurances in his small ear.

"He doesn't make a sound," She had said quietly, to answer the unasked question in Sesshomaru's eyes, "Not a single sound. The physicians aren't sure why. It might have something to do with the hard birth or the fact that he was so premature. They just don't know. I named him Kazumitsu."

"My mate…" Sesshomaru had crossed to her quickly and wrapped one arm around her waist and set the other over hers to support their child before she had the chance to react. Her power flared around him and burned his hands, but he did not move them, "I was in the wrong, my love," he growled quietly in her ear, "I did not think…"

"No, you didn't," she sniffled and he could smell the salt of her tears, "I hurt, too, Sesshomaru. I lost a baby, too. I needed you here."

"I understand now why my father allowed himself to die so quickly after Inuyasha's mother was lost, my mate. Had I lost you…" He'd lost his nerve then, unable to say all he thought, and pressed his forehead to her mating mark. He'd tightened his arms around her, as if by holding her close he could keep them together always, "I make you this vow, my mate: I will never leave you in such a manner again if it is within my power." Each word had been like a dagger, but he'd known he had to speak them. He'd had to make her understand just how much she meant to him, just how much he regretted what he had done in leaving her alone, unprotected, and heartbroken.

"If you do," She'd turned in his arms, the tears rolling down her face, her voice soft and certain, "I'll never forgive you, Sesshomaru. Never again." He'd nodded, swallowing around the emotion in his throat, and looked down at their pup, falling asleep in her arms. She'd moved away to lay Kazumitsu in his cradle, then walked back to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head against his chest.

"I'm done speaking about this now. I'm done thinking about it. I need for you to hold me now, and then lay with me so that I can grieve properly. So that we can both grieve properly. Can you do that for me?"

"Anything at all, my mate. Anything you wish." He had turned her face to his that day and captured his lips with his own and neither one of them had ever admitted that the salt they tasted in the kiss was from more than her tears alone.

It had taken months for her to wear any of the expensive things he had left for her before running, but he was always grateful when she did. It was a constant reminder to him of what he had almost lost and what he could stand to lose if ever he allowed himself to forget his responsibilities to his family again. He smoothed his son's hair once more and stood.

"Will you allow him to train?" Kagome set her hands to his chest and asked quietly after they'd left the room.

"It tires him," Sesshomaru sighed, cupping her chin in his hand.

"Yes, my lord, but he's very good. And it gives him such joy." She rubbed against him like a kitten.

"Your eyes say what your mouth will not, my lady," Sesshomaru caught her lips in a gentle kiss before setting his forehead to hers, "I will train him personally to ensure that he does not overexert himself."

"Thank you, my lord." She turned her face up for another kiss, and then pulled away before their lips could meet, "It is not polite to eavesdrop, my son."

"No, it's not, my lady mother," Shippou agreed, stepping out of the shadows, with a grin stretching from ear to ear, "but, my lord father has instructed me to improve my stealth skills."

"Come here!" Kagome couldn't hold in her squeal of delight at seeing him and opened her arms. He ran to her, wrapped her up in a tight hug, and she was reminded once again that her little boy was not a child anymore.

Like most Kitsune, Shippou was tall. It had been a source of much amusement in the castle when his height had surpassed Sesshomaru's. His bright orange hair now fell to the backs of his knees. He kept it in a tight braid, much like Sesshomaru did when they were travelling. He was still as thin as he had always been, but after training with Sesshomaru, the armies of the West, and Inuyasha all of his life his thin frame was covered in strong, corded muscle. She, of all people, knew that his thin frame was deceiving and that he was not an opponent one would want to meet in battle. He was swift and deadly with his blade. He had never had an interest in the plant calling skill that was so inherent to his kind, though Miyuki had tried to train him in it, and Kagome often wondered if they had done him a disservice in not insisting that he learn. He picked her up off of her feet and spun her in a circle.

"Welcome home," She tried to hold back her tears and was almost successful, "Have you seen your brothers and sisters yet?"

"No," Shippou smiled at her, "Father was so eager to get home he outstripped us. The rest of us just got in."

"Oh," Kagome finally got a whiff of his scent, "No wonder you smell." She pushed away, "Now I'm going to have to change."

"Off to the baths with you, whelp!" Sesshomaru growled playfully, pushing Shippou toward the bathing wing.

"Yes, sir!" Shippou saluted him smartly, making Sesshomaru growl again and swipe at him playfully with his claws.

"Sesshomaru," Kagome sighed, leaning against her mate again as her son disappeared down the hall with a laugh, "It's good to have everyone home again."

"And in three days we leave for the Great Gathering."

Kagome didn't miss the distaste in his voice and began to pull him toward the dining hall, "But, that's still three days away. Don't think on in now. Come see the twins and Rin. We can think on the Gathering later."

Sesshomaru nodded and slipped an arm around her waist. Three days was not long enough to settle back in with his mate and his pups, but he would take what was given. And his pups enjoyed travelling. It was always an experience to take them to the Gathering. Thinking of that, he was almost looking forward to it.

Almost.