Personals
folder
InuYasha › General
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
2
Views:
2,502
Reviews:
9
Recommended:
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Currently Reading:
0
Category:
InuYasha › General
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
2
Views:
2,502
Reviews:
9
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.
Single Hanyou Male Seeks Same (No Pussies)
© Salome Wilde, 2008
Author’s Note: Originally written for LJ Community “iycaptions.” Took 3rd place. Thanks to talonsage for the superb idea for “Chapter 2.”
Single Hanyou Male Seeks Same (No Pussies)
Miroku unrolled the thick scroll hastily, breaking the seal on the silken tie with eager, nimble fingers. Bishie Monthly was his absolute favorite periodical, and it was rare they were in a village large enough to find a marketplace that carried it. As soon as he saw the scroll stall, he snuck away from his companions to peruse its offerings. And this day he had been lucky: they had the current issue, with phallus-shaped seal in tact! He purchased it, hid it within his robes, and met back up with the others to head out of town in the direction of the jewel shard that Kagome had suddenly sensed.
Now they were camped for the night, and Miroku’s nervous excitement kept him awake until all the others had fallen asleep. True, Inuyasha might be awake up there in the tree, but he was facing away, and he’d have no interest in some “musty old scroll” Miroku might be reading—however fresh and new and full of hotness it was!
He quickly perused a few articles on the latest in fundoshi styles for Today’s Bi-Shonen Playboy and on Lustrous Hair Secrets (the latter of which he found painful in its reminder that his hair would simply not grow long and thick like his hanyou companion), when who should he find peering over his shoulder but Sesshoumaru.
“This Sesshoumaru uses spring water and almond oil to condition the roots,” he murmured in the monk’s ear, a poisoned claw tip at his jugular. “Now stop pretending you’re reading and unroll to the personals.”
Miroku sighed and obeyed. How the hell did that damned youkai always know the minute he got a new issue? And why the hell couldn’t he get his own copy? It was true, of course, they both loved the personals section, looking at the artists’ renderings of those hunky bishies, in various states of undress, promising far more than they could ever actually live up to. Though, Miroku reminded himself as he felt the bulge in his robe rise and felt Sesshoumaru’s hot breath on his neck, some youkai had such staying power….
Unrolled to the bottom quarter of the long document, the monk and his elegant fellow ogler scanned it hungrily, taking in everything from burly bear youkai to lithe neko male. And then, the bottom edge unfurled, they saw the unthinkable.
“Is that…?” asked Miroku in a hushed voice.
“The bastard!” snapped Sesshoumaru.
“But…but…” the monk stammered.
The pompous inuyoukai babe sneered, and drawled, “Why not? We both know perfectly well that my brother is both fickle and…shall we say…‘omnivorous’ in his desires.”
Miroku huffed and tossed the scroll over his shoulder into Sesshoumaru’s hands. “Just read it,” he snapped, now pouting.
Before getting to the words, Sesshoumaru could not resist gazing a bit at the skillful yet strange drawing of his worthless yet beautiful brother. The pose was provocative in a way Inuyasha never was…at least not when he gave himself to Sesshoumaru. The come-hither gleam, that flat-muscled, lean chest, those ample biceps, those abs: damn, the boy was mouth-watering. He moved to read the caption beneath the image:
“SINGLE HANYOU MALE SEEKS SAME (NO PUSSIES).”
And he saw red.
Miroku laughed now, having watched Sesshoumaru read it and react with such obvious anger in his eyes. The proud Lord did not often let his emotions show (though there were a few notable and highly memorable exceptions, the monk recalled with fondness and a tingling in his behind). But he was telegraphing them plainly now. And, in truth, Miroku felt similarly; he was grateful for Sesshoumaru’s reaction, for it allowed him to get control of himself.
“That wretch! He has the attentions of his full-blood youkai brother—firstborn of the incomparable Inu no Taisho—and yet he seeks to couple with a tainted half-caste like himself?”
“To hell with you,” moaned Miroku, “I thought we had something real.”
“Well, how do you think I feel?” piped up Kagome in a shrill whine, suddenly appearing out of the bushes. “Apparently, I don’t match up in species or gender!”
A voice suddenly boomed forth with a rustling of leaves in a high-up tree branch: “Keh! Why don’t you all shut the hell up and go back to sleep or I won’t have the energy to fuck any of you tomorrow!”
The three fell silent, and Inuyasha closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep with a smile on his greedy face.
…
Don’t Miss the Next Chapter: "Naraku Responds to a Personal Ad"
Author’s Note: Originally written for LJ Community “iycaptions.” Took 3rd place. Thanks to talonsage for the superb idea for “Chapter 2.”
Miroku unrolled the thick scroll hastily, breaking the seal on the silken tie with eager, nimble fingers. Bishie Monthly was his absolute favorite periodical, and it was rare they were in a village large enough to find a marketplace that carried it. As soon as he saw the scroll stall, he snuck away from his companions to peruse its offerings. And this day he had been lucky: they had the current issue, with phallus-shaped seal in tact! He purchased it, hid it within his robes, and met back up with the others to head out of town in the direction of the jewel shard that Kagome had suddenly sensed.
Now they were camped for the night, and Miroku’s nervous excitement kept him awake until all the others had fallen asleep. True, Inuyasha might be awake up there in the tree, but he was facing away, and he’d have no interest in some “musty old scroll” Miroku might be reading—however fresh and new and full of hotness it was!
He quickly perused a few articles on the latest in fundoshi styles for Today’s Bi-Shonen Playboy and on Lustrous Hair Secrets (the latter of which he found painful in its reminder that his hair would simply not grow long and thick like his hanyou companion), when who should he find peering over his shoulder but Sesshoumaru.
“This Sesshoumaru uses spring water and almond oil to condition the roots,” he murmured in the monk’s ear, a poisoned claw tip at his jugular. “Now stop pretending you’re reading and unroll to the personals.”
Miroku sighed and obeyed. How the hell did that damned youkai always know the minute he got a new issue? And why the hell couldn’t he get his own copy? It was true, of course, they both loved the personals section, looking at the artists’ renderings of those hunky bishies, in various states of undress, promising far more than they could ever actually live up to. Though, Miroku reminded himself as he felt the bulge in his robe rise and felt Sesshoumaru’s hot breath on his neck, some youkai had such staying power….
Unrolled to the bottom quarter of the long document, the monk and his elegant fellow ogler scanned it hungrily, taking in everything from burly bear youkai to lithe neko male. And then, the bottom edge unfurled, they saw the unthinkable.
“Is that…?” asked Miroku in a hushed voice.
“The bastard!” snapped Sesshoumaru.
“But…but…” the monk stammered.
The pompous inuyoukai babe sneered, and drawled, “Why not? We both know perfectly well that my brother is both fickle and…shall we say…‘omnivorous’ in his desires.”
Miroku huffed and tossed the scroll over his shoulder into Sesshoumaru’s hands. “Just read it,” he snapped, now pouting.
Before getting to the words, Sesshoumaru could not resist gazing a bit at the skillful yet strange drawing of his worthless yet beautiful brother. The pose was provocative in a way Inuyasha never was…at least not when he gave himself to Sesshoumaru. The come-hither gleam, that flat-muscled, lean chest, those ample biceps, those abs: damn, the boy was mouth-watering. He moved to read the caption beneath the image:
“SINGLE HANYOU MALE SEEKS SAME (NO PUSSIES).”
And he saw red.
Miroku laughed now, having watched Sesshoumaru read it and react with such obvious anger in his eyes. The proud Lord did not often let his emotions show (though there were a few notable and highly memorable exceptions, the monk recalled with fondness and a tingling in his behind). But he was telegraphing them plainly now. And, in truth, Miroku felt similarly; he was grateful for Sesshoumaru’s reaction, for it allowed him to get control of himself.
“That wretch! He has the attentions of his full-blood youkai brother—firstborn of the incomparable Inu no Taisho—and yet he seeks to couple with a tainted half-caste like himself?”
“To hell with you,” moaned Miroku, “I thought we had something real.”
“Well, how do you think I feel?” piped up Kagome in a shrill whine, suddenly appearing out of the bushes. “Apparently, I don’t match up in species or gender!”
A voice suddenly boomed forth with a rustling of leaves in a high-up tree branch: “Keh! Why don’t you all shut the hell up and go back to sleep or I won’t have the energy to fuck any of you tomorrow!”
The three fell silent, and Inuyasha closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep with a smile on his greedy face.
…
Don’t Miss the Next Chapter: "Naraku Responds to a Personal Ad"