Addicted to a Perfect World

Perfect World
~~~~~~~~~

I never could've seen this far

I never could've seen this coming

Seems like my world's falling apart

Yeah

~~~~~~~~~

Sango stared at her friend. “So you’re seeing Sesshoumaru? Our boss? Another one? Kagome, this is bad. What if he breaks up with you? Are you going to go to his DAD? You can’t do this to yourself.”

Kagome sighed. “I’m going to go get dressed. Calm down Sango.”

She walked past her friend and into her room where Sesshoumaru was getting dressed, mumbling about women and bright suns.

She didn’t look at him as she pulled out clothes from her closet and threw them on.

“I see your friends are here,” he said, finally pulling his shirt over his head.

“Yeah. They’re freaking out,” Kagome said.

“I could hear,” he said, glaring at the door.

Kagome sighed. “Well, are you going to come out?” she asked, finally looking up at him.

He could see the doubt of his intentions in her eyes. And it was all that Sango’s fault for putting that doubt there. He walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Do not worry about their words. I will not leave you like the half-breed did,” he assured. He kissed the top of her head as she nodded and hugged him close to herself.

~~~~~~~~~

Why is everything so hard

I don't think I can deal with the things you said

It just won't go away

~~~~~~~~~

Miroku stared at his best friend and sighed as he could see the anger boiling up within the hanyou.

“So what? She’ll screw him but tell me to wait until a commitment? What the fuck! She’s just a fucking whore. You know that, a whore. Nothing better then what Kikyou was before I meet her. But she’s a lying whore,” he yelled.

Miroku knew he most likely shouldn’t have said a damn thing to his friend, but he had mated, so he figured that Inu Yasha wouldn’t have cared about what Kagome did with herself anymore. After all, he was the one who had called off the whole relationship thing they had.

Maybe he wasn’t quite as over Kagome as he led everyone to believe he was, reason enough to be taking Kikyou as a mate instead of Kagome. They should have been twin sisters instead of distant cousins. Even if Kikyou was more open about her legs.

‘Let’s face it,’ Miroku thought to himself. ‘Even I’ve gotten into that mini-skirt of hers.’ He chuckled inwardly.

“My dear friend, what should it matter to you. You have a lovely mate. You’ve got a decent job. Her life was falling apart. Sesshoumaru was just there. And just what she needed. We’ve all seen a difference in her, even before we knew she had started to see him. We figured she had just set a resolve to get over you, but after she snuck out of the club without saying bye, well, we just didn’t know,” Miroku said.

Inu Yasha sat back and laughed. “She’s just using him because it’s the closest she can get to me without having me. That’s what it is. Think of it! Long, pristine hair, amber eyes, demon heritage. Sesshoumaru will be sick of her soon. He always is. I don’t think he’s kept a woman for more then six months. And it’s only been two and a half, from what you tell me. Maybe we should tell her?” he chuckled, looking down his nose at Miroku.

Miroku shook his head, knowing that Inu Yasha had it once again out for Kagome. But now for completely different reasons then from before. Maybe he should have warned Kagome before she had even started going out with Inu Yasha the second time around.

~~~~~~~~~

In a perfect world

This could never happen

In a perfect world

You'd still be here

And it makes no sense

I could just pick up the pieces

But to you

This means nothing

Nothing at all

~~~~~~~~~~

Inu Yasha knocked on Kagome’s door, knowing she was in the house alone, even though he could clearly smell Sesshoumaru’s lingering scent from earlier that day. He leaned against the wall next to the door and waited for Kagome to answer it.

“Coming! Just a minute!” he heard her voice call out as he stood back straight, waiting for her to answer.

The door swung open and he watched as Kagome looked over her should and hissed at something. She turned around to face him and glared at him.

“What do you want now? Getting mated to someone else and Miroku told you to invite me again?” she asked, crossing her arms.

He sighed. “No, I just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes. I’ve been thinking about what’s happened between us and thought maybe in some weird way we can at least be civil towards one another. After all, I’m still your boss and now an in-law, even if distant,” he said. “So, can I come in for a minute?”

Kagome eyed him wearily before finally nodding. “Yeah, but not to long. Sesshoumaru’s going to be over in an hour and I promised him dinner and a movie.”

Inu Yasha nodded before stepping in and looking around. “You changed the place up. It looks a lot different then what it used to.”

“I didn’t want reminders of you, so I got a bunch of new junk and Sesshoumaru helped me move everything,” she said, pushing a fat grey cat off her couch. “God, Mysarie. You’re getting fatter everyday. Go play,” she scolded the cat before plopping down it its spot.

“A cat? I thought you liked dogs,” he said taking a seat on a chair.

“No, that’s you not listening. I had always told you I liked cats. So what have you been thinking about?” she asked, leaning back, keeping a close eye on him.

“Well, Miroku was telling me you were getting better. I mean, getting over me and all that junk and I started to think about it really and I realized that it would probably help if I at least tried to smooth things out between us. And I mean, I’m mated and all that junk now, so we both know that nothing’s going to happen between us ever again. It should at least help from any temptation.

“Well anyway, I really thought about what happened and I realized that I had been in the wrong for calling you a liar. I suppose you don’t even know what I called you a liar about, do you?” he asked.

She shook her head. “Not really. And I really don’t care anymore Inu Yasha.
What happened between us is in the past to me. I don’t give a shit about it anymore. You see, I’ve got someone in my life too. And I know he cares about me and he’s not going to be leaving anytime soon. He’s told me so himself.”

“Who, Sesshoumaru? You’ve got to be kidding me. That jerk will use you for six months and then leave you hanging. Kagome, you don’t know my brother. Every girl talks like that in the beginning, but soon he starts becoming late for all the functions you’ve got planned, then he starts saying he’s got a lot of work up at the office and before you know it, he’s telling you to get lost. That he’s tired of you and you’re to loose for him. Do you really think you need that?” he asked.

Kagome glared at the hanyou. “I don’t think you know what I need. I don’t even think you care. I think you’ve come here to try to ruin my life again. Listen Inu Yasha, nice talking to you and all, but I have dinner to cook for my boyfriend. Please leave,” she said, pointing towards the exit.

~~~~~~~~~~

I used to think that I was strong

Until the day it all went wrong

I think I need a miracle to make it through

Yeah

~~~~~~~~~~

Kagome stared at the TV screen. He was supposed to be there an hour and a half ago. She had placed all the food in the fridge by then and was just waiting for his call to tell her he had gotten held up at the office again. That’d he be there within half an hour. But normally it didn’t take this long.

Tears slipped down her cheeks as Inu Yasha’s words sunk into her thoughts. ‘Maybe he’s wrong. Maybe that’s not the way Sesshoumaru really is,’ Kagome thought. ‘He wouldn’t do something like that to me. He cares about me to much. He would never hurt me.’

The phone rang and Kagome picked it up, not even checking the c.i.d. to see who it was.

“Hello?” she answered it.

“Hey Kagome! Just wondering if you wanted to come out tonight. Miroku and Shippo are throwing a party over at Kouga’s place. Everyone’s going to be there. You are coming?” Sango’s voice drifted over the phone.

“No, I have plans with Sesshoumaru tonight. But have fun anyway,” Kagome said.

“Wait, I thought those plans were supposed to be over by now. I mean, how long can you eat dinner for? Even if you’re a demon?” she asked.

“Well, he’s not here yet, but I think he’s coming soon. I know he’ll be here. He hasn’t ditched on any of the other dates we’ve had,” Kagome answered.

“Kagome,” Sango sighed. “He’s been late for the past three weeks. What’s going on between you two. Are you two fighting?” she asked, worry lacing her voice.

Kagome shook her head. “No! We’re fine. At least I think we’re fine. He hasn’t said anything to me and well, the only thing that’s been getting on my nerves is his tardiness lately. But I’m going to talk about it to him tonight and hopefully everything will be better. Don’t worry so much about me. I’m a grown woman. This relationship isn’t that serious yet, so if anything happens, I’m not going to become suicidal,” she joked.

“Kagome, it is serious. You gave him your virginity. He’s practically living with you. And I think if anything did happen between you, you’d become so depressed I don’t think that you’d be able to come back out of it this time. Another guy or not. Please, please be careful. Call me tomorrow and tell me what happens, ok?” Sango asked.

“Yeah. Talk to you then. Have a good night,” Kagome said before hanging up the phone and staring at it, waiting for Sesshoumaru to call her.

~~~~~~~~~~

I pictured I could bring you back

I pictured I could turn back time

Cuz I can't let go

I just can't find my way

Yeah

Without you I just can't find my way

~~~~~~~~~~

Kagome watched the elevator descend from the top floor to her own and stop. ‘Aw, probably Inu Yasha to talk to Miroku in Sango’s office,’ she thought. Nobody else from that floor came down here. In fact, she didn’t even think anyone from that floor went anywhere else in the whole building besides the lobby. And sometimes not even there. They had a whole apartment for them up there.

She had only seen it once while going out with Inu Yasha. It was their lunch break and he had wanted to cook her something for lunch instead of just getting the ordinary take-out they had always had.

The doors opened and She glanced up to find Sesshoumaru walking toward her office. She smiled weakly before looking back down at her desk, trying to get done with the pile of work that Inu-no’s assistant had brought down to her just a little while before that.

He walked into the office and closed the door behind him, closing the blinds as well, giving them some privacy from prying eyes.

“Kagome, are you alright?” he asked, moving toward her chair.

“Where were you last night?” she asked. “I waited up almost all night for you. Didn’t eat a thing. You know, I was at least expecting a call, but I didn’t even get that.”

He sighed and sat down in the chair that was across from her. “I was at the office all night. With this new merger, father’s had me working over time, trying to make sure there’s no loops for that Naraku fool to get out of it. I guess I got so caught up in it, buy the time I decided to get some sleep, I had realized what time it was. You would have already been in bed. Next time I will call, I promise,” he said.

Kagome looked at him from across the table. “Then why have you been so late recently? I know this merger didn’t even come into play until two weeks ago. What about the week before that?” she asked.

“I have been busy with family issues. Father has found out that I am seeing someone and he wishes to meet you. I do not find that necessary as of right now, unless you find yourself up to it. After all, he still does not know about you and Inu Yasha going out, even if it had been five years. He can be naive at times, you know,” he answered. “I do not want to make you feel rushed in anything.”

“So you’re not getting tired of me? You don’t want to leave me?” she asked.

Sesshoumaru looked at her in as close to shock as he could get. “No. Who told you such a thing?” he asked.

Kagome looked away from him. “Nobody. I just thought that you were starting to tire of me. That you were going to move on to someone else, you know?”

~~~~~~~~~~

In a perfect world

This could never happen

In a perfect world

You'd still be here

And it makes no sense

I could just pick up the pieces

But to you

This means nothing

Nothing at all

~~~~~~~~~~

“So, he’s just been working hard at work? It’s been two months Kagome. That merger went through three and a half weeks ago. What about the week before that merger? What was his excuse for that?” Sango protested.

“He’s been having family problems. I guess Inu Yasha had never told Inu-no that he had been seeing me and well, I guess Inu Yasha had let it slip out, so he’s trying to keep everything on the down low right now. He doesn’t need his father giving him more shit then he’s already getting from Inu Yasha. I guess ever since Inu Yasha came over here that night, he’s been ragging real hard on Sesshoumaru. Not to mention whenever he gets off on my floor, he asks me when the last time I’d seen Sesshoumaru was,” Kagome tried to defend.

Sango leaned forward, rubbing her face out of frustration. “Kagome! You’ve fallen in love and you’re trying to cover for his faults! And trying to believe his stories. Seriously, if he cares for you as much as you say he does, then he wouldn’t have a problem with Inu-no knowing you went out with Inu Yasha and he’d introduce you joyously. Think about it. Have you two ever gone beyond this house when you see each other?”

“Yeah, lots of times. At work, at some random café, at his mansion a few times, and we even once went to a club. Why?” she asked.

“He’s rich. Famous for taking his dates out to five star restaurants on a regular basis. He hasn’t even tried to take you to one. And for gifts. What has he given you?” she asked.

Kagome frowned. “The dress I wore to Inu Yasha’s mating ceremony and roses every now and then. What are you getting at?” she asked.

“He’s also famous for getting his girlfriends expensive gifts. Like at least ten grand necklaces and rings and bracelets. He buys them closets full of clothing at times. Sends them to Spa’s on regular basis. Do you see a lack of pattern here?” she asked.

“Yeah, I don’t lie like those girls. Listen, Sesshoumaru’s not going to spend all his money on me just because I don’t want him to. I told him I don’t want the glamour’s of life. I just wanted him to be him when he’s around me. I wanted him to be just as normal as I was. And that’s what he did. For me. Because I asked it of him. I don’t know what your problem is about me not wanting the luxuries of life,” she scolded before getting up and walking out of the room to reflect on what Sango had said.

~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know what I should do now

I don't know where I should go

I'm still here waiting for you

I'm lost when you're not around

I need to hold on to you

I just can't let you go

Yeah

Yeah

~~~~~~~~~~

Kagome stared blankly at the news, not really seeing it at all. It was another night spent up waiting for Sesshoumaru to at least call. Still no word from him and he was four hours late. Hey had been seeing each other for a good five and a half months now. Inu Yasha’s words kept reaching her thoughts more and more. She had tried to shake the doubt she had long ago, but between Sango and Inu Yasha’s words, it was starting to look like she was just another girl to go through.

Her phone rang and Kagome looked at it as if it was a foreign object. She didn’t want to answer it. She didn’t want to hear his voice. But at the same time she needed him. It wasn’t a want anymore. She had admitted it to herself a while back. She did love him.

But she wasn’t sure if he loved her.

The phone rang again and again. She picked it up and looked at the i.d. and sighed, deciding she shouldn’t ignore him.

“Hello?” she asked, finally answering the phone.

“Hey there. Where have you been?” she heard Sesshoumaru ask.

“Oh, just going to the bathroom. Sorry about that. Are you coming over tonight or are you working?” she asked, knowing what he was going to say already.

She heard him sigh and a pause came after that. “Well, it depends on what time I finish this contract. Father won’t give me any free time until I agree to let him meet you. But I won’t do that if you don’t want me to.”

“I don’t care. Do whatever you think is right. Just don’t forget about me, alright?” she said, leaning back into the couch.

“Don’t worry. I’ll see you for sure tomorrow. I’m going to call in a vacation day and I know you don’t have work. I’ll see you then, ok?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you then,” she said. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

~~~~~~~~~~

In a perfect world

This could never happen

In a perfect world

You'd still be here

And it makes no sense

I could just pick up the pieces

But to you

This means nothing

Nothing at all

Nothing, nothing at all

Nothing at all

~~~~~~~~~~~

Kagome had told Sango what Inu Yasha had told her about Sesshoumaru and his wondering ways that night. She had went so far as to tell her the fears she’d been having.

Sango had tried to comfort her the best she could, but this heart break was happening over a period of time and only Sesshoumaru would be able to actually fix it this time.

“Listen, why don’t you tell him how you actually feel tomorrow when he comes over to see you, if he comes over. Then see where it goes. Tell him about what Inu Yasha said and what you feel. Maybe he’ll finally do something about the whole thing and what not. What else can you do?” Sango asked.

“I can get rid of him first. I can make him feel what I feel. Or even if he does care about me. Something, anything that will make him hurt as much as I do. I can’t keep having a relationship like this one. Inu Yasha was bad enough trying to get over, I don’t need one being dragged out. It’s over-kill,” Kagome said, hanging her head as more tears fell down her cheeks.

Sango sighed and hugged her friend. “Listen, you are stronger then this. If you love him, tell him. Don’t let him go. You’ll lose your light if you do that and you’ll be nothing but a depressed pile of friend. Nobody needs to help you with that.”