How the Pain Evolves

Hola!! Thank you for your comments and output!! I actually was surprised that I got any good comments period. So because of your good behavior, I have now finished typing out Chapter 2 of my 'probably going to be an ass-long but worthwhile' story. Sorry all you fangirls out there...still no hot Inucest. But pweeeaaasssee be patient!! I'll get to it...I promise! Girl scout's honor.

Thanks for the comments!!

sesshomarunaraku:
cool!!!!

Silence:
Ooh, I like. I like very much. I admit that as a inucest, yaoi fangirl I'm looking forward the the InuSmut but what I like best about your story so far is the in-depth, emotional, angsty, and completely honest depiction of the love triangle between Kikyou, Inuyasha, and Kagome...with no character bashing. So far, you've captured each one and their own hopes and desires without going the easy route and just making one or more of them uber-ebil badguys. With the beautiful and introspective picture you've already painted, I'm really curious to see where else you can turn that talent. This shows a lot of promise and I'm looking forward to seeing more.

Thanx so much for sharing this with us,
~Silence~

Stacy:
damn! way to leave us hangin'!
it's cool though...just update soon!

And now on to Chapter 2!!!

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A solid fist connected itself with the side of Inuyasha’s face, filling blood in his mouth. The young hanyou spit the wad of red from his lips, eyes narrowed with anger and pain. He was feeling light and dizzy from lack of oxygen, and going unconscious was looking all the more tempting. At least this would be a solution to his problem. Without him, Kagome and Kikyo could no longer be hurt by this emotional predicament.

“Such insolence. I have not come to fight you, Inuyasha, as much as the sight of you fills me with disgust.” Sesshoumaru released the nearly comatose hanyou, stepping back to study the gasping figure with distaste. Inuyasha rolled onto his side, drawing breath after ragged breath, trying to will back his eyesight from the darkness it had succumbed to.

“Then what…the hell…do you…want?” The hanyou coughed wetly, spitting more blood from his busted mouth. His head was ringing from the blow he had been dealt, and all in all, he wasn’t feeling up to much more of a confrontation.

“It’s…a political business, of sort.” Sesshoumaru paused, as if deep in thought. The truth was, he was puzzling out how to explain this to his moron of a brother without leaving him in the dust. “There are certain things I must sign to continue the ruling of our father’s lands. Things that…need your signature as well. You are still a son of the great Inutaisho, despite your rotten, shameful blood.”

Inuyasha gaped at him, eyes wide and round. This was probably the first time he had ever heard Sesshoumaru speak so much at one time…especially since they weren’t striving to kill each other at this very moment. Then it hit him about what Sesshoumaru had just said. He gingerly got to his feet, eyeing his older half-brother cautiously, wanting to get to his Tetsusaiga.

“What the hell makes you think I would help you!?” Inuyasha growled incredulously, snapping his hands open and closed, fingers twitching to snag a hold of his sword once again.

“I wasn’t asking you for anything, whelp.” Sesshoumaru snarled suddenly, all pretenses of cool stability erased in a moment of pure rage at his miserable half-breed of a brother. Inuyasha struggled with wanting to take a step back, seeing for a second what the truly enraged Sesshoumaru could be like. Dangerous…savage. All at once, Inuyasha saw how much it killed him to be asking anything of anyone. Then the older brother had regained his composure, eyes blank again, face a cool mask. “You will be coming to sign these papers.”

“The hell I will!! What do I care about your stupid land!?” The young hanyou twisted his head to the side, anger printed on his face in big, bold letters. “Not like father ever cared about me anyway…”

“You will honor your father’s memory by preserving his lands, you mutt.” Sesshoumaru likewise turned his head away to the side, face passive and deep in thought. His right arm lifted, fingers outstretched as they ran their tips along the bark of the tree.

Inuyasha’s golden eyes were trained on him, but they weren’t seeing Sesshoumaru. His mind had cast itself back, back to when he couldn’t remember his father’s face, but he could remember his voice…strong, sure of itself. The voice of a man who would give up his very life to protect those he loved. As much as he had hated his father for turning him and his mother away…he could not, in good faith, watch his father’s prized possessions be stripped from him.

“Fine…I’ll help…” His own voice jarred him from his pondering. Had he really said he’d help Sesshoumaru? It had to be his screwed up emotions…or perhaps it had to do with how strange his older brother was acting. And speaking of acting, Sesshoumaru hadn’t reacted at all to Inuyasha’s consent…actually, it was as if he hadn’t even heard him. “Hey! Sesshoumaru! Did’ja hear me, you stupid jerk? I said I’d-“

“I will return within three days. Together…we will go to the Western Lands.” Sesshoumaru interrupted. His fingers still went on, tracing the delicate curve of the bark. Inuyasha’s eye followed the movement. It was almost mesmerizing…had a hypnotic quality to it, soothing really. Abruptly, as if sensing his younger brother’s gaze, Sesshoumaru snapped his hand away and turned his back to Inuyasha, demeanor rigid and tense.

“Why not just go now…I have better things to do then waste my life, waiting for you to come get me…” Inuyasha said angrily, arms crossed over his chest. His head throbbed painfully, reminding him that he hadn’t been eating or sleeping since Kagome had gone home. Well, that and the fact that Sesshoumaru had just beat him around the face. No wonder he hurt like he did.

“Three days…I have other things that need to be attended to before you…arrive. You are a nuisance and I won’t have you wondering around my home, while I wait for the correct papers to arrive.” With that, Sesshoumaru stepped from the branch, freefalling through the air for a second before he zipped off, almost quicker than Inuyasha’s eyes could travel. Soon, he was nothing more than a white spot, shimmering far in the distance.

“Damn Sesshoumaru…” Inuyasha cursed bitterly, also stepping from the branch to land on all fours, hands sinking into the soft, mossy ground below. “Who does he think I am…a slave he can order around…”

‘Though come to think about it…’ The young hanyou worried over, watching his feet rise and fall against the earth, following a well-used path back to Kaede’s village. ‘I’ve never seen him loose his cool like that before…does it really hurt him that much to admit he needs me for something..?’

……………………………………………..

Kaede’s village was a bumbling brook full of life, each part of it some sort of cog in a great machine designed to keep the village alive and happy. Inuyasha waded in among the busy villagers, nose crinkled at the scent and sight of so many sweaty people in one place. His distaste had never run as greatly as Sesshoumaru for humans, but a certain part of him wondered at how such creatures had the tendencies to smell terrible at times.

“Hey! Inuyasha!” The young hanyou’s head snapped up, amber eyes narrowed against the brightness of the sun. Miroku stood just outside Kaede’s hut, one hand shading his warm, brown eyes. Inuyasha snorted, turning his head away as he walked, but inside he was secretly pleased. It was always nice to have someone waiting for you when you returned.

“Has Kagome come back yet?” Were the first words that tumbled from his mouth as he got within earshot of Miroku, but at that same time, a very familiar scent washed over his senses and Kagome emerged from Kaede’s hut, looking just as happy as ever. With a pang, Inuyasha realized that her eyes still held a great sorrow, and it was because of him that that sorrow was there in the first place. ‘She still hasn’t forgiven me of what she saw…’

“Hello Inuyasha.” She smiled up at him as he walked up to them, but there was something off in that smile. Even though he would never apologize, Inuyasha wished he could take back what Kagome had seen. Maybe then it wouldn’t hurt her so much to see him again.

He nodded his head. “Kagome.” There was an awkward moment of silence, where Miroku shifted uneasily and retreated back inside the hut, leaving the two of them together. Inuyasha wished he could follow suit, hide himself from her young, open face, but he could not abandon her with a clean conscious. “Kagome…about Kikyo-“

“I don’t want to hear it.” Kagome’s voice was stern, surprising Inuyasha in its firmness. The young woman’s eyes flashed with pain at the mention of the miko’s name, but her shoulders were set and she faced the hanyou without a single tremble. Inuyasha felt a brief moment of pride at seeing how strong Kagome could be. “If you l…love her, then I won’t intervene. I won’t have you hurting both of us, do you hear me Inuyasha?”

He swallowed hard, eyes wide and very un-Inuyasha like. He couldn’t remember a time when someone had spoken so openly about his emotions before. He loved Kikyo, yes, that much was true. But was it not also true that he loved Kagome? The thought of losing either of them was almost too much to bear. But he couldn’t tell Kagome that. And by the looks of things, she wasn’t prepared to hear anything like that either. He merely nodded, showing his consent, rather than voice his opinion in the matter. Kagome seemed satisfied, if not just a bit more withdrawn. He had a moment to wonder what would continue to drive her back to this era, but he realized he knew the answer. She could sense the Sacred Jewel Shards, and her hatred of Naraku ran just as deep as his own. Kagome would continue to return to the Feudal Era in order to complete the Sacred Jewel and to destroy Naraku, no matter what happened between them.

“Alright. Good.” She also nodded, smiling warmly. Miroku and Sango ducked their heads outside, eyes wide, wondering why there wasn’t any bloodshed happening. Not even a hearty ‘sit’. They both breathed identical sighs of relief. When Kagome and Inuyasha were bickering with each other, nobody would get a moment of rest.

“Oh…I almost forgot!” Kagome cracked a grin this time, and Inuyasha felt his own lips tilt upwards in sync. Maybe it really wouldn’t be as bad as he had feared between them. Already, things seemed to have slipped back to normal…whatever that was. “Sit boy!”

Okay…maybe she was still the tiniest bit upset over what had happened. The beads of subjugation glowed a dark pink in color and suddenly Inuyasha was eating a mouthful of dirt as his body created a new crater in the hard-packed earth below. Sango and Miroku winced, then cowered as Kagome flitted by them, humming as she made her way back inside Kaede’s hut. Inuyasha groaned as he struggled against the beads’ power, able only to lift his head so he could breathe properly. The villagers had stopped in their busy life to gape at the angry hanyou as he tried again and again to lift his body from the ground.

‘Only three days…’ Inuyasha grumbled to himself, shaking dirt from his mane of white hair. ‘Only three days and then I can at least fight the person I’m being tortured by…’

……………………………………………………

It was night, and the stars shone ever-so-brightly up in the velvet sky. All was quiet in Kaede’s village, with only the soft stirring of the wind winding itself about the fallen leaves and thin branches. A small figure sat a distance away, atop a grassy hill, head lifted skyward in the traditional pose of someone ‘deep in thought.’ Inuyasha breathed in the traditionally cool air of this season, amber eyes reflecting the stars’ cold light. It was the last night before he had to go with Sesshoumaru, before he had to endure his older brother’s presence for an unknown length of time, doing something he really didn’t want to do but felt obligated in doing so. And still…nobody in his group knew where he was going or…better yet…that he was leaving them at all. Not even Kagome, who was the most aware of everyone’s mood within their small circle, had suspected that the young hanyou had something heavy on his mind. But she too had things on her mind. It was no wonder that the two of them had spoken so very little in their time spent here. It had been a tense three days, three days where they recuperated with food and rest, preparing themselves for a long journey ahead. Miroku and Sango gave in to the tension, both speaking less than normal, both seeming less cheerful than ever. Even little Shippo, their orphan kitsune demon, had been very quiet.

All because of him. Because of him and his stupid infatuation for two similar, yet not the same, women. Kagome and Kikyo. Even their names began with K’s, dammit all! Inuyasha growled low in his throat, sweeping clawed fingers through his messy hair. He needed sleep, needed to be on his toes when Sesshoumaru came to retrieve him, but his muscles were on fire with the need to run, to scream. All of these damn emotions were swirling inside of him and he was liable to crack under the pressure-

“Inuyasha…”

The young hanyou jumped, something he did not normally do. His body twisted in its sitting position, an angry retort sharp on his tongue. “What the hell are you doing, sneaking up on…”

It was Kagome who had hailed him. Her arms were crossed lightly over her chest; face tight with nervousness and worry. The wind wrapped its face around her legs, flicking her short green skirt playfully before retreating to whence it came. The sadness in her eyes was still present and accounted for, and Inuyasha’s heart did an uneasy lurch in his chest.

“Kagome…what are you doing up?” He forced his voice to stay steady, but the look in her eyes was driving him crazy. If this is what happened when you cared for someone, he wanted out of it, now.

“I couldn’t sleep…no…” She shook her head, black lashes heavy on her pale cheeks. “I was worried about you.” Kagome made her way up the hill to where Inuyasha sat, raven-black hair laying still and smooth against her back and shoulders. She made a move to sit beside him, but kept her standing position instead, head tilted towards the stars above. “What’s on your mind, Inuyasha?”

He breathed deeply, eyes trained on her still form, catching her delicate scent on the cold still air. ‘She may be angry at me…but she still cares about how I feel…’ He scooted across the damp grass, making room for her to sit, and Kagome complied with him, tucking her feet primly off to the side. “Kagome…I have to go for a couple of days…”

She took a slow breath, and his sensitive ears caught the quick stirrings of her heart beat. The scent of her sadness grew greater still, and he realized at once what she was thinking. Suddenly angry at himself, he turned fully to face her, eyes bright and glowing in the darkness. “I’m not going to see her, Kagome…that’s not what this is about.”

The young woman glanced over at him, and he could see the hope shining in her face, even though he had believed he had crushed all feelings she could have had for him. Inuyasha wanted to hold her, comfort her, if even only for a little while…but he made no move to do so. Their relationship could not be patched up with a simple hug. They needed trust and honesty, and she didn’t trust him at all in this moment.

“I won’t ask where you’re going then…” Kagome turned back towards the sky, the slightest of smiles on her pale face. “Just promise me…that you’ll return when you’re done…”

Inuyasha nodded, feeling the long awaited peace envelope them, all tension erased from both of their bodies, if just for a second. Kagome shifted herself closer to the young hanyou, not quite touching him, feeling the heat of their bodies pulsing in the space between them. If he could have captured this moment, Inuyasha believed he would stay in this minute with her forever, cherishing the tranquility that had erased all thought inside of him.

Or, at least, most thought.

‘Tomorrow…tomorrow we’ll see what happens…’

……………………………………………………..

The morning dawned clear and cool, another sign that the winter before them would be long and harsh. Inuyasha made his way through the forest, ears tuned to everything around him, eyes sharp in their intake on life. The goodbyes to his friends were short and simple; it seemed that Kagome had prepped them beforehand, so as not to rattle the young hanyou even more with their questions and cries of disbelief. Kagome had been the hardest to speak to as he left, simply because he knew she still believed he was sneaking around with Kikyo like some whoring dog. Which he wasn’t. He didn’t sneak…at least, he didn’t believe he sneaked around. And he most certainly wasn’t a whoring dog.

‘All this stupid tension is driving me crazy…’ Inuyasha cursed to himself, trying to locate his brother, wondering where was the most likely place he could find Sesshoumaru. ‘He said three days…it’s been three days…damn him and his stupid land…’

Despite all of his anger, however, he kept up his pace, wanting to be as far away from Kaede’s Village as possible. Inuyasha was almost ashamed to admit it, but he didn’t want his friends knowing he was going to help his most hated rival. No…he was helping his father…not Sesshoumaru…not like his dad was any better.

“Little brother.”

Inuyasha was rudely jerked from his ponderings by the sound of Sesshoumaru’s cool voice. He yelped like a pansy and spun around, fangs bared and claws at ready. His brother stood impassively, golden eyes pools of molten liquid beneath silver bangs.

“Dammit Sesshoumaru!” The young hanyou snarled, straightening up and glaring hatefully at his older sibling. The air between them crackled. “Why the hell d’ja have to sneak up on me like that!?”

“I don’t…sneak.” Sesshoumaru replied, turning his back to his little brother and beginning to walk farther into the woods. Inuyasha was startled at how close this was to his rambling thoughts earlier as he sped up after the retreating figure, eyebrows furrowed against his forehead.

The two walked in silence, neither giving into the pressure to speak, both staring straight ahead at the sights around them. Which…was basically nothing. If it wasn’t for their keen sense of direction, they would have been completely lost in the never-ending stretch of trees around them. Inuyasha tried to copy the smooth flowing of Sesshoumaru’s gait, but his sturdy legs could not copy such graceful movements. He stumbled and cursed, kick rocks and stubbed toes on hidden tree roots. At least his older brother didn’t seem to notice much. Sesshoumaru’s eyes were pointed forward as always, seemingly lost deep in thought, or perhaps he was just tuning everything out. The young hanyou glanced down at his brother’s arms, wondering how he had regained his appendage after Inuyasha had cut it from his body. It seemed just the same as Sesshoumaru’s other arm…so much so that it couldn’t be a human’s…nor another demons’. There was even vertical slashes of color near the wrist that so perfectly matched the rest of his marked body.

“How did you get your arm back?” The question startled Inuyasha, and his mouth snapped shut almost instantly. The silence had been broken and Sesshoumaru was now staring at his new arm with a strange look in his eyes. The hanyou drifted farther away from his brother, and at once felt ridiculous to have even accepted this stupid request.

‘He should be trying to kill me right now…trying to take the Tetsusaiga…’ Inuyasha thought, slipping his cold hands into the sleeves of his red kimono. ‘And I should be sending him home with his tail between his legs…this is just…weird…’

“A woman returned me my arm.” Sesshoumaru replied listlessly, tilting his head in an almost puzzled fashion, eyes faraway. Inuyasha frowned slowly, wondering what sort of reckless woman would approach a full-blooded demon like Sesshoumaru. She had to have been a demon herself…there was no way Sesshoumaru would tolerate a human being so close to him…

“Now why’d she go and do that…” Inuyasha muttered beneath his breath, contemplating the new arm with an intensity quite unlike him. “Now I’ll have to go and cut it off again…”

Either Sesshoumaru didn’t hear his remark, or chose not to comment on it. He flexed his arm in the slightest tensing of muscles, tearing his gaze away from the appendage to look at something quite a ways off. Inuyasha could smell the child before he saw her running towards them, a bright smile displayed on her young face. The hanyou chanced a swift glance in Sesshoumaru’s direction. He had heard rumors, yes. But to actually see the “Great Demon Lord” Sesshoumaru fall prey to a young human’s charms…that thought in itself was simply amazing.

“Lord Sesshoumaru!” Rin chirruped as she came within hearing range, eyes bright and without fear. Inuyasha noticed that she was missing one of her front teeth, and that she wore no shoes. As she came upon Sesshoumaru, there was a pause, as if the young girl was waiting for something. The demon lord nodded his headed slightly; just a simple tilt of the head, but it was consent enough for Rin to wrap her small arms around his waist in a brief hug of pure happiness.

“Rin.” She danced away from him immediately, bowing her head low enough to see the small curve of her neckline beneath her dark brown hair. Inuyasha shifted uncomfortably, not used to the way this Rin showed no fear in the presence of Sesshoumaru. Then she lifted her head, turning towards the young hanyou to beam at him.

“Hello Master Inuyasha!” He was surprised that she even knew his name. But then again, it wasn’t as if he weren’t well-known. Almost every demon out there had heard of the famous half-demon Inuyasha at one time or another. The hanyou nodded his head in acknowledgement. Rin settled down into another deep bow before taking off through the forested path, giggling as she ran.

“Ah-Un is just right up ahead, Master Sesshoumaru!” She called behind her back at the two following figures, small feet kicking up leaves and tufts of grass. Inuyasha stared after her until she was a mere speck flashing every now and then in between the trees. He turned towards Sesshoumaru, an incredulous expression of disbelief stamped across his face.

“What is she…like, your pet or something?” Inuyasha growled, feeling sorry for the little girl. She’d probably be better off as an orphan then in the care of someone as cold-hearted as Sesshoumaru. He didn’t know how to care for someone…

“She is my ward.” Sesshoumaru said nothing more, instead sweeping past the thunderstruck hanyou to follow in the girl’s footsteps. Inuyasha followed at a more sedate pace, eyeing his older brother’s back with anger. Rin didn’t seem unhappy, but that could just be a show she put on for the demon lord. Inuyasha knew what some people would do for just the slightest bit of attention…something to let them know they weren’t unwanted in this world.

Ah-Un was only a little ways away, just like the girl had promised. She had already seated herself atop the demon horse, just as cheerful as ever. Jaken, Sesshoumaru’s other demon slave, stood near Ah-Un, bulbous eyes filled with happiness as they drank in the sight of their master.

“Oh Lord Sesshoumaru! You have returned!” He sped near his demon lord, webbed fingers splayed outward as if he too wanted to hug the demon. Inuyasha actually recoiled slightly, visualizing those creepy hands encircling his leg. What came to mind was a big leech, cold and slimy. Jaken turned his sprint into a bow at the last second, face planted deep within the grassy earth. His simple brown robe quivered as the demon shook with glee.

“Get up, Jaken.” Sesshoumaru said coolly, nudging the demon away with the toe of his shoe. The little toad got up willingly enough, but glared hatefully once he caught sight of Inuyasha standing there.

“Ew! What’s that stupid mutt doing here!?” His squawk of outrage was almost comical in its sincerity. Inuyasha growled and grasped a hold on the hilt of his sword, flaming eyes narrowed.

“Yeah, fuck you too, you toad!” He snarled, half drawing Tetsusaiga from its sheath. The anger in his veins pulsed steadily in tune to the pulses his sword gave out at the hanyou’s touch.

“Enough.” Sesshoumaru spoke quietly, but his voice was full of command. Jaken automatically lost his disgusted look, falling flat on his face in an attempt to grovel at one hundred percent maximum. Inuyasha paused, ears flat against his skull in annoyance, then re-sheathed his sword slowly, all the while throwing death glances at his brother’s back. ‘This is ridiculous…I am out of here once these stupid papers get signed…’

Sesshoumaru climbed gracefully atop the demon’s back, staring down at Inuyasha as one might stare at a particularly disgusting bug. The hanyou sneered up at his older brother, body tense and thrumming with energy. He hopped up on Ah-Un’s rump, legs crossed Indian-style, hands once again hidden beneath long sleeves. With a simple click of the tongue, Sesshoumaru had the demon take to the air, carrying its heavy load of four creatures with it. Inuyasha tilted his head back, enjoying the sudden wind on his face, the sudden weightlessness. Ahead of them, the golden sun was rising to the light blue sky, evaporating the small bundle of clouds that had tried to form. It was almost worth it to be in Sesshoumaru’s company, if only to see the world from this high up, to be so unconnected to everything.

Almost.