Ame without sunshine

AME WITHOUT SUNSHNE

A/N: I'm putting the warning in here because for some strange reason not all of the ones I picked
out showed up. -sigh- its so troublesome. Thanks for the kind reviews! (to those who did. Really
does it kill you to leave a poor author starving for attention, a review?)

Another thing If you are here for plotless right away sex... GO AWAY!! this will be drawn out Inu
and Kag need to sort out their emotional turmoil first. BUT! not to worry there will be lemon ^^

Now to get cracking!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own InuYasha and I don’t profit from this story I'm still poor

WARNINGS: Het, Male Dom, SoloM, Submission, Lemon, Language, HJ, Oral. (i think that’s it)
damn I hate all these legal proceedings

This had help from my wonderful beta Shaid!

CHAPTER 2: Progress


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InuYasha was finally tired of it. Wet-hair-on-skin while trying to sleep was annoying.
So he decided that he was going to fix the problem. He currently had Kagome sitting across
his lap, her legs splayed and hands resting on her lap. Her head was cradled gently against his
chest while he finger combed through her hair in an attempt to dry it. It was an indecent
position but it was just the two of them and it was working out well for the hair drying process.
He snarled. This was becoming tedious and Kagome didn't seem to be stirring or getting any warmer.


He briefly recalled her saying that your head was covered by hair because that was the place where
most of the bodies heat was. Wet hair probably wasn’t helping her retain that heat. He resolved
to get it dry quickly and doubled his pace.

He concentrated on his task and tried not to worry too much. Kagome was out of the rain, she was
in his arms, and even though it didn’t feel like it, she was getting a little warmer. But the fact
that she was in this predicament because of him remained. 'Well not really… The bitch said she
was goin’ to the hot springs, so why didn't she go there? Why did she run off?' he wondered.
(Italics are good for thoughts.) It wasn’t like her to be reckless. Unless, of course, it involved
their friends, she did stupid things when she felt one of them was in danger.

He smiled at the thought. That was his Kagome, loyal to the end, so trusting and happy. His
expression darkened. He violated her trust. He made her unhappy. He took her loyalty for granted.

His hands stopped their rhythmic motions. Gods, he really was such an asshole. He sighed. He didn't
like analyzing his and Kagome’s strange relationship. Partly because he felt secure in it... partly
because it made him feel even more guilty than when he thought of Kikyo. He always seemed to take from
her and never give. He was always blowing hot and cold, leading her on and then leaving her in the dust.
He felt worse thinking about their relationship because it was HIS fault that it was so fucked up. With
Kikyo it had been mostly Naraku's


What were they anyway? Best friends certainly, but did best friends get fluttering in their chests
when they smiled at each other. Did your best friend arouse you and make you feel like ripping off
heads when they were sad or hurt? Maybe. But to the extent he did? InuYasha doubted it.

Who was he kidding? He loved her. But damn it all, he loved Kikyo too. Or at least he thought he
did. Was it really just remembered love, like Sango had said? The need for revenge on her behalf?
Had he loved her in the first place? Or were they just so happy to find other lonely beings that
they were automatically drawn to each other?

Question and more questions. It got him nowhere. He couldn't answer them and to some extent, he
didn't want to. He was happy being oblivious, and partially carefree. He frowned. He hadn’t been
carefree ever; at least not until Kagome and the others came along. Damn. There was that guilt
again.

He was such a lucky bastard. All the other hanyou he had ever encountered had been on the brink of
starvation, beaten so badly that they couldn’t stand. Jinenji was the only one he knew of that was
still alive. And he didn’t have any friends except for his mother and InuYasha’s group. He felt a
swell of possessiveness curl inside his chest at the thought. He was proud that his friends accepted
another hanyou, but at the same time he wanted them all to himself.

He had once heard Sesshomaru’s mother saying that Inu Youkai were very territorial. But then he had
been spotted and beaten for his impudence. After his mother had died, InuYasha had been literally picked
up by Sesshomaru and sent to live at their fathers old castle. At first he had been elated, he had really
thought that youkai might treat him better than the humans. It had been a stupid assumption on his part
youkai were worse. At least the humans couldn't beat him.

The youkai were relentless and cruel. Sesshomaru hardly ever stopped the fighting, and when he had asked
Why, his brother had responded;

"I would not soil my hands saving a pathetic half breed, who can't even stand up for himself."

Sesshomaru’s mother would have nothing to do with him. She treated him like he didn't exist. It had
hurt a little at first, but he soon got used to it. He often found refuge in the kitchen where an
enslaved youkai named Jirobu was the main chef. They got along well, and because InuYasha wasn't
allowed to eat with Sesshomaru and his mother, he often had to rely on the scraps Jirobu provided.

His brother got lessons in the banquet hall next to the kitchen. It had been easy to spy on them and he had rarely gotten caught. But when he had it had not been pleasant. Sesshomaru's beatings were often worse than other youkai.

Luckily he had left that hellhole when he had come of age some 70 years later*


Yes, he was damn lucky nowadays. He knew to this and cared about each of his friends in their own
way.

Miroku was the male friend he had never had. He didn’t have to watch his language and he could rough
house with him. He could beat on him and wouldn’t feel guilty for doing so as Miroku often egged him
on or participated in their bantering. They could be perverted (although InuYasha rarely was, only
when he wanted a peek at the hot springs, just to make sure the girls were safe) They weren't
perverted really sometimes they used lewd language. Which was great because he had often been told
that he was rude to an unbearable point in was good to be able to relax around Miroku in that sense.
He also knew he could go to Miroku with his, as the monk called it 'Kagome troubles'. Even if the
pervert was annoying and sometimes got a bit too close to Kagome, he was still his best friend in
the male sense of the word.

Sango was like the sister he never had. She told him what was what and was always frank and to the
point. They looked after each other. They had a kinship the thing with Kohaku.... Well, it made
them similar in some fashion and it was nice to know he wasn’t alone in his guilty feelings. She would
look at him with total understanding when Kikyo was near, none of the others did that. Recently
she had told him that though she understood that he had an obligation to Kikyo and ties that couldn't
be broken he needed to get it together and quit leading both women on a leash.

Then there was Shippo… Well sometimes Shippo was like an annoying younger brother. But when they
were alone or hunting, or when InuYasha was teaching him to fight, which they had been doing it in
secret for months now, it was like the runt was his pup or something. Not that he would ever admit
to it, but once he’d had a dream where Shippo’s parents had come back from the dead and tried to
take him away. He had woken up snarling and growling hovering close to Shippo. It had been one of
the most embarrassing situations he had ever been in. Explaining what was wrong with him had been
even worse though. He had felt horrible to know that if in anyway Shippo's parents came back InuYasha
wouldn't have let the kit go without a fight. He supposed it had to do with those damn territorial
instincts again.

Kagome was the only one that he was totally and utterly confused about at times but knew exactly where
they stood. Why was it so hard to sort out his feelings? He had always hated the emotional baggage
that came with being part human. What was he going to do? He obviously couldn't go on with what he
had been doing. He had to choose. Damn, he thought he had made that decision already when Kagome
said she would stand by him. He whimpered. That memory wasn't a particularly pleasant one. He'd
come so close to losing her. He realized now that he wouldn't have lasted long if she hadn't stayed.

But even if Kikyo hadn't really loved him, even if she was dead and not completely herself, there was
still that small bit that remembered. There was that small part of her that remembered and knew
what they had been through. He couldn't just ignore that. But he also couldn't deny that his
feelings of long ago were just as dead as she was. He visibly flinched at the thought. The feelings
now were that of wanting revenge for what had happened, guilt for not doing better, sadness that it
couldn't be and pity for what she was now.

He should have died with her. It wasn’t fair that she was the only one to have died, the one that
now wasn’t accepted, that had no friends. Well, that was partially her fault. He knew Kagome had
tried to be friends with Kikyo, for his sake. Kikyo hadn’t wanted it. She had always been a loner.
But Kagome had tried, which just proved how different they really were, even if Kagome was Kikyo's
reincarnation.

His grip on the unconscious girl in his arms tightened and she let out a soft whimper, tossing her
head lightly. He froze before gently shaking her and calling her name softly. She sighed and
slowly opened her blue eyes.

Kagome was cold and she hurt. But someone seemed to be calling her name. Damn whoever it was,
anyway; couldn't they leave her alone? But the voice was familiar and held a note of urgency and
panic. Letting out a soft sigh, she attempted to open her eyes. It proved to be a lot harder than
she had thought it would be. But she finally managed to get them halfway open.

Her world was red and white. Lots of red. He brain was desperately trying to get its bearings but
was having trouble. There was a relieved sigh. "Inu...Yasha?" she asked weakly. By the gods she was
cold! Her hair felt like it was made of ice, and her limbs were stiff. She felt goose bumps erupt all
over her skin and she shivered before calling InuYasha's name again.

"Yeah, I'm here," came his somewhat gruff reply.

She stiffened, realizing she was in his arms. He must have found her and brought her...somewhere.
It's not that she wasn't grateful, really; she just wasn't ready to deal with him right now. She
was confused, hurt and angry, and in dire need of a warm bath.

Maybe he could sense that because he tightened his hold on her making escape impossible, not that
she could have at the moment(, she was still too cold to move). But it was definitely on her agenda
to get as far away from him as possible. He made a soothing sound in his throat.

"Its ok, Kagome, you’re safe now."

'That’s debatable' she thought wryly. She couldn't deal with this. She hated talking about his...his
rendezvous with Kikyo. It made her feel horrible to make him feel guilty and torn. And it was
painful to talk about it.

Finally, some of the feeling came back to her arms and legs and she tried to move away from him,
pushing at his chest. She tried to break his hold, but his grip was firm and her limbs were still
a bit stiff with cold

"No, Kagome," he croaked, "You’re not going anywhere, we- we need to talk"

Well, this was certainly a change. Usually it was her who insisted on the talking. It figured that
the one time she didn't want to talk to him, he was ready to talk to her.

"There’s nothing to talk about, InuYasha. It’s fine. I'm fine. You can put me down now." she
protested.

But it seemed InuYasha was being stubborn; he wasn't going to let her go. He didn't say it in words,
but he did haul her up against his chest and positioned her more comfortably. Like he was planning
on staying there for a while.

"Kagome," he started "I'm sorry."

The girl sighed and pushed against his chest one last time before looking into golden orbs. He seemed
a bit...hurt? That she was trying to escape? Darn him for looking at her like that. She was still
mad but now also more resigned that she was going to have to talk this out. That didn’t mean she
wasn’t still going to try to get out of it.

"It’s fine, InuYasha, there's nothing to apologize for," she said shortly, looking away.

"Dammit Kagome!" he snapped suddenly "We HAVE to talk about this! I know you’re mad and hurt, but I
am too. So shut the hell up with the denial and stop trying to get out of it! We're gonna solve
this if its the last thing we do."

Kagome refused to look at him. She didn’t want to solve this; she didn't want to be rejected. The
last time she had been rejected by him she had thought she was well and truly going to die from
heartbreak. She hadn't pushed him, so why now? And what did he mean he was hurt too? Did she put
so much of a burden on him? Did she make him feel so guilty? Tears came to her eyes but she held
them back with some difficulty.

"Ok...InuYasha" she managed to choke out. He sighed and nuzzled the top of her head.

"Don't cry, Kagome"

"I'm not crying!"

"Yes, you are bitch. You’re crying and I want you to stop. I can’t stand it when you cry," he
barked

He was so insensitive. Did he have to call her a bitch? She sniffed and wiped her eyes, looking
anywhere but him.

"Just tell me what you want to tell me, InuYasha. Just...get it over with." She felt defeated and
tired and just wanted this done.

It was his turn to stiffen.

"Get it...OVER with?" he hissed, "Just what do you think this is about Kagome? I'm trying here!
Fucking hell, I don’t want to talk about this either but we need to! We can’t just sit here and
long for each other and play friendly. We can’t keep pretending there's not a problem!"

Kagome stared at him shocked. "Long for each other?" she whispered

"Yes, you stupid woman, long for each other. Do you not ever notice how I talk to you, how I
protect you? How I look at you? How jealous I get? Do you think I haven’t noticed your staring?
Did you think I wasn’t listening when you told me you care about me? Gods, woman! Let’s make this
easier for both of us. I want you and care for you and by the looks of it you feel the same. Kikyo's
and my feelings for her may be in the way, but I don’t think you understand what those feelings are!
I really didn't even know until recently."

He snarled then and turned her so that she was straddling his lap a light blush on his face as he
breathed hotly onto her lips and cheeks.

Kagome was still in relative shock and was wondering how he could say all those things so calmly;
angrily but calmly. But then she noticed his flushed cheeks. Well they had gotten past one barrier,
she thought faintly. So he did...want her? Well, she had suspected, really, but she had. It was
hard not to notice the way he got jealous over every male she associated with or the way he touched
her when they were alone, and how he got so angry at her when she thought she had been in danger or
worse yet put herself in danger. He didn't do that with the others. At least not to the extent that
he did with her. She had thought it was because of her similarity to Kikyo and that maybe it was
because she was nice, that she was a possession. She probably would have still thought that but
he had used the word ‘care’ so tenderly.

"And just what are your feelings for Kikyo that I don’t understand?" she asked.

He let out a breath he had apparently been holding. Fingering a lock of her hair, he looked at it
thoughtfully, a slight blush on his cheeks.

"Guilt is an obvious one, pity, the need for revenge, love... But not in that way; more like I loved
her for accepting me, even partially. She was the first to try. I don’t know if I was ‘in love’
with her ever. And even if I was I'm...not anymore. She- she's dead, Kagome. She's not the Kikyo
I remember. She may have Kikyo's memories and need for revenge but she's not really her. I will
avenge her because she died needlessly. You, on the other hand..." he faltered.

"I what?" she prompted quietly, mind blown to smithereens. She would have never guessed.

"You accept me fully, you didn’t care that I'm a hanyou at all. You don’t want me to change. You
even said that you'd accept me as a demon, if that was my choice." at that he looked at her
incredulously.

He was looking at her as if she were insane for thinking that way, Did he have no self esteem? He
acted like there was nothing wrong with the way he was and that he didn't give a rat's ass about
what other people thought of him. But maybe it was just that, an act.

"I... you... Damn" and he clammed up.

She blinked up at him. Their faces were so close if she just leaned up a little bit she would be able
to touch those lips with her own. She started. How could she be thinking that at a time like this?
She bit her lip worrying it gently between her teeth. Did he really mean all those thing? Or was he
just feeling guilty again. Even if he was sincere would it work out? There was still Kikyo and Naraku
out there. But he was trying. He really was opening up to her.

She supposed it was her turn to talk now. Not that she could tell him anything she hadn’t already
said or that he didn't already know. But she would try anyway. He had said so much and he was so
socially and emotionally constipated. He was also very guarded of his feelings. Him saying this
much must mean that he really needed to get this out, and that he really was more open with her,
Maybe he really did care for her.

She smiled up at him and ran a hand over one of his silver locks of hair.

"InuYasha, there's nothing wrong with being a hanyou. You’re a human with the abilities to protect
others, which you do very well, and a demon with human emotions, so you can use your powers justly.
You’re perfect. And I think your ears are cute." She reached up to tweak one ear and smiled. “You’re
wonderful. I like you the way you are, I wouldn't change you for the world. I-I care about you as well"
Her smile grew and she gazed at him light red tinting her cheeks.

His eyes were shining brightly, with what she wasn’t entirely sure, but it was a good thing.
He touched her cheek with one clawed finger and gently traced the contours of her face. She
closed her eyes in bliss, for a moment.

"Kagome...thank you." he said somewhat breathlessly as his finger tracing came to a halt and he
gripped her chin in his hands tilting it upwards. Her heart began to race he was so close.

"It’s because of that...that I choose you," he said before his lips descended
onto her startled and slightly shaking ones.

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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! yes I know evil.
Now before you ask there will not be a lemon in the next
chappie. there will be some kissing, maybe making out. (yes yes I'll describe the kiss)
But this is just the start of their relationship and there's still Kikyo, and how will she react to this? And what of Naraku’s barrier? Kouga will also be making an appearance. I cant help it I love that guy ^^ yes this is an Inu/Kag but I cant help but like kouga.

Anyway REVIEW!!!!! lets try for 10 reviews hmm? I think that’s a reasonable amount to ask
for...

THANK YOU SHAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you XD really all my readers should thank her too you have no
idea how sucky this was before she edited it. There may still be a few mistakes after I did some of
her suggestions but I'm leaving for a few days so I thought I better get this posted.

SHAID: yes I'm definitely going to keep using you as a beta. your grammar classes are great and all
but there's a reason I always got marked down on my papers >> (so I'm gonna need you)

XxSangoxX: thanks for you suggestions! I know college is a total bitch. I have read some of you
stories and am quite impressed right now I've been looking at 'sweet temptations' I'm loving it!
please keep updating ^^. And I may just take you up on that lemon offer!

Yashagal and Ginny: thanks for the offers! you guys are totally awesome! thanks for reading!

Madmiko: Thanks I try I really do this chapter I didn't do so well on with the touches and stuff
until I got a beta that is, so hopefully it will live up to everyone’s expectations ^^

AND TO EVERYONE ELSE THAT REVIEWED: THANKS!!! I LIVE FOR YOU GUYS!! your review are what keep me
going so please send my more!

Chishio_Rikka