Stuggles of the Heart

Inuyasha stood outside the ruins of the castle. He didn't have to go in, he knew just from the outside that Naraku was gone. Sesshomaru at last came out and sat on the steps, sighing, "He was thorough.. Not even Kagura and Kohaku, the only survivors found thus far, have any memory of what happened."
Inuyasha grunted in reply. He wasn't bothered by the lack of witnesses. He was bothered by the lack of carcasses! The one carcass they did not find were those not belonging with Naraku's group. Which meant either the kid was alive, or he just vanished.
Either way, Inuyasha wasn't happy about it. He had questions, billions of them. And only that brat could answer them. Inuyasha stood and began to walked down the steps when Sango ran out and spoke, "Inuyasha! Kagome found the Shikon Fragment!"
Inuyasha looked at her and nodded. Then, he followed her into the ruined courtyard. Kagome held the completed Shikon Jewel and turned to Inuyasha. She spoke, "It's yours, Inuyasha.. After these long trials..."
She handed it to him. She then looked away, sighing. Immediately, the subduing necklace around him shattered, the beads falling around his feet. Inuyasha blinked, "Why?"
Kagome spoke, her eyes closed, "I won't be around for it be used.. So... It's rather pointless."
Inuyasha blinked, "Huh?"
Kagome then climbed onto Kilala behind Sango and Kohaku, then they lifted off. Miroku sighed and spoke, "This is it then.. The breaking of our ways... Farewell, Inuyasha-friend... Our roads may not meet again."
Miroku then walked off, his staff rings jingling. Kouga looked at Inuyasha, "What did Kagome mean as she won't be around?"
Inuyasha closed his eyes, "Kagome... Comes from another time... Five hundred years in the future... She does this through the bone eater's well... But.. Without a shikon jewel shard, she can't come back..."
Kouga snarled, "Then why are you standing here?! We have to stop her!"
Inuyasha whirled, "HER FAMILY IS IN THE FUTURE!!! SHE HAS SCHOOL, A PLAFCE TO LEARN, IN THE FUTURE!!! She already has a human lover, there in her own time.. Let it be to her what her future is... You have Ayame.. You always have..."
Inuyasha then turned and walked on, arms crossed. Sesshomaru, collecting Ah-Un, Jaken, and Rin, led them off towards his own country. Kouga and Ayame, gathering their respective packs, moved for the mountains togethor. Kagura, left alone, stood and followed Sesshomaru at first but then stopped and looked at the ground, "What, boy, did you want to accomplish?"

Inuyasha walked on, he had no aim, nowhere to go, and no one to talk to. He was alone, as he had been fifty years ago, before Kikyo and his recent companions. At last he stopped and looked over his shoulder. There, behind him, stood a hanyou with blue eyes and pitch black hair. He wore an open haori that had white flames up the sleeves and a white phoenix on the back. His hakkama had white flames running up the left leg.
"So.. We meet at last, Inuyasha...."
"Who are you?"
"The name is Kaishin... Naraku's killer and his son..."
Inuyasha whipped around, "Say what?!"
Kaishin spoke, "You heard me... A shame... I killed him for you... And you ruined all that hard work... Oh well, it's your children, my siblings, that will fade..."
Inuyasha blinked, "My.. Children? Wh-What are you-"
"Oh, please, Inuyasha. Don't act so naive. Do you actually think I alone could have defeated Naraku?" Kaishin smirked coldly, "You gave up power... Inuyasha... That's what you have given up.. Do you think the Shikon Jewel can grant you the ultimate power? Do you think Kikyo can give you the power to create entire realities or destroy them with a thought? That power, you have let slip through your fingers... The power to give and take life, grant and deny immortality. The power to be a god! You have given that up."
Inuyasha lifted the Shikon Jewel, "But.. If I wish... Upon this..."
"A selfish heart shall find that the wish they make shall be their undoing... Inuyasha... If you make that wish for yourself, and in your heart, it is for yourself, that wish will ultimatly be your demise. It will torment you, torture you, then, when you are broken and unable to feel any more pain in your soul, it will consume you and send you to a void where you will rot for all eternity. Naraku knew this... That is why he never directly wished upon the jewel but corrupted it, and using that dark power to empower himself."
"Then..."
Kaishin turned, he spoke, "I have a curse... I can hear the sleeping dead... I can commune their thoughts to those they care for... Right now, Izayoi is weeping for you... She cries, for she knows that you have sealed your death in this world and you shall never be with her in the heavens."
"........"
"And your father refuses to answer my thoughts... He is refusing to acknowledge you... You were his favored son... And now, he feels that you have betrayed all that he had hoped you would become... Farewell, Inuyasha... If you try to return to Kaede and the others, I will kill you. You have betrayed them for the final time..."
Kaishin then walked into the darkness and vanished. Inuyasha closed his eyes and clasped a hand over his mouth before the threw his head back and howled.

Inuyasha approached a dark fortress. Three inuyoukai gaurds leapt to the ground. The leader bared his fangs, "Halfbreed... You cannot come into Lord Sesshomaru's fortress..."
Inuyasha said nothing, he just took Tessaiga, sheath and sword, from his sash and threw it to the ground. Inuyasha spoke, "The barrier is broken... Sesshomaru can use it now..."
Inuyasha turned when Totosai lowered, "Inuyasha... Why have you done this?"
Inuyasha spoke, "I no longer deserve anything of my father's..."
Inuyasha began walking away when Totosai spoke, "How did you come to that conclusion? Hm? Why would you decide that?"
Inuyasha looked at Totosai before turning away and walking towards the forest. Sesshomaru spoke, "Inuyasha... Do not turn your back on your only memory of your father..."
Inuyasha stopped and spoke, "You don't know me.. Sesshomaru.... Neither does Totosai... There are secrets I would keep even from my mother... Or our father... Because I am ashamed of them... Don't.. Lecture me about honor or memory... I deserve nothing..."

Midoriko walked down the dirt road. Inuyasha, as he said he was, had freed her. She was alive.. but.. Inuyasha.. Who was he? What was his story? Why did he feel so.. Dead? So pained?
Around the bend, Miroku, Sango, and Shippo were riding Kilala. Sango sighed, "What do you think happened to Inuyasha?"
"I dunno..."
Shippo spoke, "I bet he used the shikon jewel to become a full demon like he always wanted..."
Midoriko's eyes lifted. She spoke, "The Shikon Jewel? Can you describe the last person you knew to hold it?"
Miroku nodded and went on describing Inuyasha. Midoriko's brows furrowed, "I've seen him... He's the one that.. Set me free.."
"Midoriko?!" Sango gasped.
She nodded. Midoriko then spoke, "His aura reeked of pain... Aguish... Like he was torturing himself..."
"........." Miroku thought to himself, 'What is Inuyasha doing releasing Midoriko? Didn't he want to become a full demon?'

Kaede walked towards the Sacred Tree, and found Inuyasha sitting against it. Inuyasha spoke, "Kaede... I was wondering when you'd show up..."
Kaede spoke, "What is it, Inuyasha... I thought ye had the jewel..."
Inuyasha spoke, "Kaede... I want you to do me a favor..."
Kaede nodded, "What is it?"
Inuyasha closed his eyes, "I.. Want you to kill me..."
Kaede's eye opened wide, "K-Kill ye? Why?"
"My.. Reasons are my own... I just... I can't stay in this life..."
Kaede solemnly put an arrow on her bow and lifted it. She found that her arm trembled as she pulled back the string. Inuyasha just stood, his eyes closed. Kaede at last relaxed her string and spoke, "I.. I'm sorry Inuyasha.. I cannot.. I do not have the heart to kill ye... Ye are too dear to me..."
"I.. Understand, Kaede... I'll find another miko..." Inuyasha turned and walked off.

Three demon exterminators watched as Inuyasha walked into the village, his arms crossed. He walked right up to the village priestess, who gazed at the hanyou with her young eyes. Inuyasha spoke, "Priestess... I am ready for my existance to end..."
The miko gazed at Inuyasha, "Why aren't you attacking us, half-breed?"
Inuyasha spoke, "I was raised by my human mother... Friends of other humans..." Inuyasha lifted his hand, "The Shikon Jewel is no more... Midoriko is free... I have avenged a woman I once loved... I haven't found my heart's peace.. But I am ready to die... I cannot take the pain of this life any longer..."
The miko lifted her hand and began to purify Inuyasha. Inuyasha fell to his knees, clutching his shoulders as the purifying aura continued to wrack his body. The miko whispered, "Damnit, you're strong to take this long!"
The three exterminators watched. Suddenly, a hut was obliterated and Sesshomaru lashed his whip, forcing the Miko to flee back. Sesshomaru spoke, "Get away from my brother..."
Inuyasha snarled and stood, whirling, "FUCK OFF BASTARD!! I DON'T NEED YOU IN MY DEATH!!"
Sesshomaru spoke, "You have a lot of nerve pup! You throw away your father's sword, your honor, just to die?!"
Inuyasha spoke, "I never asked your opinion, Sesshomaru..."
"Why death from a Miko? Why not ask me?! To preserve your honor?!"
Inuyasha gazed at Sesshomaru before speaking, "Because I lost all honor... When I killed my own mother..."
Sesshomaru gasped. Inuyasha spoke, "My mother... Was killed because of me... Poisoned, because I was her half-breed son... I have no honor Sesshomaru... Because I killed her before the poison could... Before she died a painful, slow death, I gave her a quick, painless one.... I am a murderer... Not just my mother... Sesshomaru... Many humans.. Men.. Women.. Children even... I was.. A monster before the Mikos Kikyo and Kagome... A monster that should have been destroyed.. A mistake... I will have corrected... By a miko... Because dying by your hands, Sesshomaru, will not give me peace in death..."
Inuyasha turned to the miko and dropped ot his knees before her. He bowed his head and closed his eyes. The miko lifted her hand but found, suddenly, that pity, and understanding, was staying her hand. Her hand shook and she at last pulled back, "I.. Can't... You're... The hanyou that protects Edo... I can't kill you..."
Inuyasha stood and bowed before began to walk off.
"Inuyasha..."
Inuyasha stopped and turned his head. There stood Midoriko with Miroku, Sango, and Shippo behind her. Inuyasha spoke, "Midoriko..."
Inuyasha turned and spoke, "I told you, you owe me nothing..."
Midoriko spoke, "That may be.... But I will not let you die, Inuyasha... Izayoi... Was my daughter..."
Inuyasha gazed at her, his eyes wide. Midoriko spoke, "At the time of your father's mating with Izayoi, I had just began my struggle with the youkai that soon trapped me with them in the Shikon no Tama... By time you were born, I knew it was true, pure love... I would not stand it it's way... Inuyasha... If you die... Then everything you parents had ever hoped and stood for shall die with you... You were a message to the world... That a human miko, the daughter of Midoriko herself, could love a god... And he could love her in return... And that that bond was genuine... I stand here, and I see you as proof of it... Think about this... If your father did not want you, he could have controlled his seed, and you never would have been a concern. No, he was out to impregnate Izayoi... He WANTED you... He WANTED you, his hanyou son... So did Izayoi.... You've made them proud, Inuyasha... And you've made me proud.... Do not turn that away now... Not now.. Not after all you've accomplished."
Inuyasha stood, before the wind picked up his hair, "Gran-..." He stopped and gazed Midoriko. She was telling the truth, he could smell it. Inuyasha spoke, "I cannot live... Without her.. Your reincarnation..."
"The undead priestess?" Sesshomaru asked.
"..... No... The other... The other reincarnation... Kagome Higurashi..." Inuyasha at last closed his eyes and tears fell from his cheeks. For the first time in years, he showed his true face to everyone, human and youkai alike. He at last revealed he could, indeed, transform. He became a massive dog. The massive entity that was Inuyasha gazed at his friends before turning and charging off, the ground trembling beneath his heavy, white paws.
Sesshomaru whispered, "He can.. Transform?"

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