PayBack's A Bitch

Porlouge-------





The depressed and grief stricken figure sat rocking back and forth on the bright pink coverlet. Pink. How that color revolted her right now she'd rather it'd have been black the color of nothingness. Just like she was feeling right now. Nothing . She had nothing left. No one to turn to. Thoughts raced through her head as she continued to rock back and forth back and forth clutching the razor sharp dagger that had been given to her by her former love in her lap the sharp blade cutting into the palm of her left hand. Tears ran down her pale cheeks and landed onto her hand mixing with blood form the wound.



a burden that's all......



never be better than Kikyo......



only slow the others down......



can't do anything right.......



just a shard detector........



weak.......



worthless........



not wanted.......





only a burden........





She stopped rocking as the last thought passed through her mind again "˜only a burden. No I refuse to be. No longer.' Gently she sat the dagger on the bed staining the coverlet with the blood that already lingered on the blade. Slowly she stood uncaring of the blood that fell from the wound on her hand and onto the carpet as she made her way over to the desk in the corner. Picking up a pen she began to write......









Dear family,



I know this will be hard for you to expect. But know that this was my decision. Please try to understand that I had to do this and that my decision wasn't caused by any one of you all. I know now that he only see's me as an unwanted burden and one that I can't"”won't be any longer. I know that it'd be easier to just give him the shards and be done with it but with that lies yet another problem. He would demand that I continue on with the mission but I can't. I can't continue on every day like I don't see what is right in front of my face. He doesn't love me and he never did. I was the fool that believed in false hopes and I wouldn't be able to live day after day always being reminded of what I've lost. Given that this is my only option, only way out, and the only way that I will no longer be a burden to my friends. Know this through I will always be watching over all of you.







With my eternal love,



Kagome









With that done she walked back over to the bed and reached for the handle of the dagger. She no longer shed tears for herself but the pain that she knew that she was going to put her family through by her loss "Please forgive me I love you all....." she whispered her voice hollow and without emotion. Lifting the knife up she sat down on the bed then bringing the knife back down to lay almost innocently against the skin on her wrist.

The blade was cold as it lay still and unmoving against her warm flesh. A second or two passed by as she angled to blade so that she was sure it was over a vital blood vain in her arm then she tilted to blade up to where the point was pressed into her skin and put a little pressure behind the blade until the sharp point broke the skin and blood began to well up from the wound. Bitting her lip she tighten her grip on the blade and pulled it backwards cutting deeply into flesh and back towards her elbow. She watched unwavering as blood ran down the sides of her arm and into her lap. Wanting to be sure about this she moved to blade into her other hand and repeated the process leaving a twelve inch long gash in each arm.

The blade dropped out of her bloody hand and onto the floor as dizziness began to over take her. "˜Not long now.' she thought as she fell forward limp onto the floor. She didn't know how long she lay there time seemed to slow down to a craw. She could feel the darkness slowly growing closer and welcomed it. Her eyes began to go unfocused at the loss of blood. He body temperature began to drop. Closing her eyes she began to let herself go.

Abruptly off in the distance she could hear footsteps and someone call, but who? Who was calling and why? Curiously she tried to listen closer. She felt herself being rolled over then something wrapped tightly around her wrists.



'What's going on?' she wondered tittering on the edge of death.



"Come on Kagome stay with me!" the voice demanded angrily an worried.



"˜Stay with you but I'm not worth anything.' she thought confused.



"Kagome don't you die on me! You stay with me I mean it or else! God Kagome don't leave I need you." the last part was muttered as if it was hopeless.



#Onna can't you hear him calling you# a voice asked harshly in her head



%Who....are.....you% she asked exhausted and just ready to give up.



#NO! DON'T YOU DARE! YOUR NEEDED HERE NOT THERE!# the voice argued and then whispered a little gentler #He does need you can't leave him#



%Sure......% she whispered holding herself on the edge ready to fight her way back if she really was needed.



#Yes. Return and find out for yourself# the voice whispered



%Alright.....Thank...You% she whispered tired as she forced her way back to consciousness.







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ok that's all for that chapter and I'm working on the next one.