Love Only Me

Kagome ran her heart beating fast against her ribs. Hot tears ran down her face as she felt pain stab in her chest. Finally she couldn’t run any more her legs gave out and she crumpled to the ground as she felt like dying.

‘How could he give me so much grief about Sesshomaru or even Koga when he still wants to be with Kikyo. I’m so stupid, how did I ever think that if I enticed him just a little that he would love me.’

She started crying again but there were no tears left. The pain in her heart was too much to bear. Her body hurt from physically shaking with each sob that tore from her soul. She couldn’t do it anymore. She was tired. She’d have to close her heart to InuYasha but how?

However, she was so engrossed in her feelings that she didn’t see it coming. She was knocked into unconsciousness by a suffocating sweet smell.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

InuYasha had come back to the camp to find that Miroku and Sango were asleep. However, they somehow managed to fall asleep in each others arms. The half demon smiled at how nice the picture of them two looked together. With a thought he snuck into Kagome’s bag and pulled out what she had called a disposable camera. He smiled evilly as he snapped the picture. ‘Kagome will be surprised when she sees that one. I wonder if she’ll get two of those one for them and one for us.’

When he put the camera back into her bag he noticed Kagome’s journal. He picked it up and started to read what she last wrote. He blushed as she graphically wrote out what had brought her to the pool of water to begin with. He had no idea that she thought in such ways. Only guys could be so perverted. Then he looked at the monk. He must’ve rubbed off on her. He began to finger through her book and noticed that she felt a lot of things for him including love. At times she wanted to forget him and just let him be with Kikyo but she couldn’t she wanted to see him live. Her heart strings were too strong for him. He read poems and songs as well as sketches of their little gang but especially of him sketches of him when he didn’t notice that she was watching. He blushed as feelings swirled in him that he couldn’t even begin to categorize. He continued to read her journal until he fell asleep waiting for Kagome to return from using the bathroom or so he thought. When the morning light filtered threw the trees and woke him up he noticed that Kagome was not back yet. Frantic he woke up Miroku and Sango.

They sleepily scratched their heads and yawned then noticed that they were asleep in an embrace. They were face to face both blushed and scrambled back from each other.

“Where’s Kagome?”

Sango blinked while Miroku looked around. InuYasha began to shake Miroku.

“Wake up you two, where is Kagome?!”

“She went looking for you about ...” Sango replied now awake noticing that it was daylight out.

InuYasha sat on the ground amidst her things running his fingers through his hair.

“Damn, she must have seen me with Kikyo.”

“What!? You’ve been giving her hell about Sesshomaru and you go slinking behind her back with Kikyo?! InuYasha you’re a two timing dog that is what you are!” Sango railed in on him.

However Miroku touched Sango’s arm and nodded his head in the negative. He walked in front of her and placed his hands on InuYasha’s shoulders.

“InuYasha?”

The half demon looked up and met a fist in his face.

“What the hell was that for?”

Anger now showing in his demeanor he firmly stated, “Sango is right; you know I am tired of that girl getting hurt by you. All she has done was stand by your side and love you; she accepts you for you without asking you to change and you treat her so worthlessly, do you know how fortunate you are to have a woman like her love you. You don’t deserve her love. You want to be a full fledged demon that’s fine, but at least acknowledge her feelings and set her free if you don’t wish to be with her. And let her be with whomever she desires, like Koga or Sesshomaru if he wants her. You have no right to make her feel guilty for anything she does when you don’t love her.”

InuYasha slumped his shoulders and thought for a moment about what they said, a picture of Kagome flashed in his mind, he thought about all the times she looked depressed because he insisted on standing by Kikyo. But he’s changed due to her.

“I’m not about to defend myself and say that I have made all the right decisions but what happened between me and Kikyo last nightt is not what you both think. I broke it off with her. I realize that she is gone, she’s dead. I realize that Kagome completes me.”

Miroku stopped fisting his hands. With a startled expression he came to the conclusion that Kagome must’ve gotten the wrong idea just as they did. Sango started gathering her stuff and looked to the guys.

“Well, are we going to look for her or what?”

They nodded and started to gather up the things they needed. InuYasha clutched her journal and up it in the pocket of his Yukata next to his heart.

As they went looking for Kagome InuYasha started thinking of a day when she and him were sitting in her room in the modern era. He came back for her after an argument they had. It was silly he knew and he apologized for his actions. He didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. He just wasn’t used to all the modern spices she put in her food when she cooked.

“Kagome, I do like your cooking and I appreciate that you go to all that trouble just for me. Kikyo never cooked for me.”

“It’s alright mama told me that my father did the same to her. She said, ‘once a man is used to you he forgets to be thoughtful and considerate of your feelings.’ InuYasha I have a personal question to ask you.”

“Huh, what is it?”

Kagome blushed prettily. The sun filtered into her room and shone on her. With shy eyes she looked down at her feet. He noticed that she painted her toe nails in soft colors, he enjoyed looking at her like that so shy and innocent but something else loomed in her mind, he just didn’t know what kind of passions she held within her.

“InuYasha, have you ever…you know?” she giggled shyly.

“No I don’t know, I’ve done a lot of things Kagome?”

She looked up into his eyes and the pink filled her cheeks as she looked some what flushed. It suited her prettily. He didn’t know why he enjoyed seeing her like this but he did.

She licked her lips slowly before continuing. “Have you ever made love InuYasha?”

InuYasha just looked at her without blinking for a moment. She waved her hands in front of his face calling his name. He grabbed her hands and held them within his. They felt warm and comforting to her.

“Why do you want to know something like that?”

“I’m just curious is all.”

He looked at her for a moment then answered her.

“No I haven’t, but I did have sexual encounters. I would go to brothels that existed only to demons and half demons as myself to get my itched scratched and as a human well, sometimes I would be angry but what better way to let out some of that pent up anger and frustration then by letting it all go on some wench wanting a good fuck.

“Oh…” Kagome blushed. Looking down at her hands within his she continued to inquest. “Have you ever had sex with… Kikyo?”

InuYasha didn’t understand why he was being so damn honest with her but he felt comfortable telling her. He thought back on the time and related it to her.

InuYasha had Kikyo up against the wall of her home. He began to kiss her thoroughly tasting the sweetness of her mouth she kissed him in return. He sucked her bottom lip and teased her tongue with his own. Hungrily his hands roamed her body releasing it from the clothes she wore. Pieces of her kimono littered the floor from him tearing it off her body. He licked up and down her neck as his hands deftly controlled her body making her spasm around his digits. He advanced his member to her vortex lavishing her body with his and broke through her maiden head the tightness around him made him shudder as he waited for her to get used to him within her as he smelt her blood on him. She cried against his shoulder at his invasion, but knowing that it was to be painful she let him continue, but something inside her felt dirty. He began again in long slow strides massaging the inner depths of her soul but she began to cry and pushed him away saying that he was being to rough.

“I’m sorry InuYasha, I can’t…not with you in your half demon form. Your being too rough, your hurting me she lied… your too strong. Let us wait please til the new moon and then try it again…when your human ok…I’m sorry I love you.”

She sobbed as she tried to cover herself with the left over fragments of clothes that fell to the floor. He grabbed her in his embrace and conceded. However it was later that day that they discussed him using the jewel to become human. He agreed so that he could be with Kikyo and show her physically how much he loved her. He wanted to see her as a normal girl, and he wanted love so badly that he hungered for it. He was willing to give up everything he was for her so that he could love her like a man.

Kagome felt so sorry for him she knew how much more his senses are to him when in his half demon state. She also knew how he hated to be weak in his human state. Not to say that he wasn’t strong in either condition, not that she noticed much of a difference, but, she couldn’t imagine him being rough with Kikyo, not if he loved her. ‘How could she love him if she couldn’t accept him for who he is. He would have been gentle. He loves her he would never willingly hurt her. I wish he’d love me like that. What am I saying? Would I make love to InuYasha?’

“Well if you ask me, I like you just the way you are. I’d take you in this form and in your human form because I care for you simply for you.” She said her eyes tearing up for him and his pain. She clutched his hands tighter to let him know she meant what she said. However, she blushed but she looked him straight in the eye to let him know she was serious.

InuYasha looked at her with the strangest expression on his face. She blushed deeper under his scrutiny. Sometimes he could be like his brother and just stay so arrogantly silent. He blushed at her comment. He never thought he would hear anyone say that to him. He wanted to become a full demon to gain respect and power. He wouldn’t be turned away or be put off by those who despised him for being a half demon. Kikyo the first human he’s ever loved other than his mother rejected him as well. Never had he met a person who was satisfied with just him. He smiled at her and asked her if she were ready to go back to the feudal era. She sighed but agreed.

‘Did she mean that she would make love to me in my true form, she doesn’t know if she could handle me. I probably was rough with Kikyo she’s human after all; she was delicate. She made me feel as though I was causing her great distress. I couldn’t do that to Kagome and get the same response.’

All of a sudden he smelled an over whelming power of flowers it had broke him from his thoughts.

“InuYasha do you smell that?” Miroku had questioned. Sango backed up to Miroku and put down Kagome’s things. She held her boomerang up. “Is it a demon?” She asked to either one. However, it was InuYasha who answered.

“No, I don’t smell anything but damn flowers!” The smell of the flowers agitated his nose and made him dizzy. In fact they all became dizzy to the over powering scent. Miroku and Sango already fell to their knees unconscious. InuYasha drew out his fang but was blinded by his dizziness. He covered his nose with his sleeve but it was still too strong. ‘I can’t breath…this scent is too pungent …Kagome….’