Anyway

Anyway: I Don’t Know What You Feel

I don't know what you need, what you do or say
I love you anyway, love you anyway
I don't know what you feel, should I go or stay
I love you anyway, love you anyway


Author Notes: Man... when I said I would have a chapter done soon... I betcha didn't think it would be finished and posted at around 1am did ya? Nope… no lemon yet… I’ve been tiing ing around with my account for a bit – figuring things out so hopefully I will be able to update this story on a regular basis. ^_^ Expect a lemon in the next chapter… meow!


* * *


One year… Kagome reflected. It has been almost a year since we defeated Nakuru… that slimy bastard. She sighed. I don’t know what I should do anymore. I used to have so much purpose… now I feel as though I’ve lost everything. I can no longer find shards for Inuyasha. I wonder sometimes… if he wants me to stay here at all. I wonder if he would notice if I left.
Her thoughts grew sad. I knew he loved Kikyo… maybe he still does… I don’t know. She had just as much of a chance… if not less of a chance to be with him as me. She had a moment of revelation. He probably just doesn’t want to get involved with humans. That’s why he hasn’t until now… when he had to. It must be so painful to live so long… especially when humans lived such short lives in comparison. He could not find demon companions either, because they would see him as he sees humans, he would not live long… so why bother.

She realized what a lonely life it must be, as a half demon. Being a part of both worlds, but never able to partake of either. How sad… how sad… She thought, holding back tears fom. Hm. How…sad…

He wobbled up to her, carrying a stick for support. God that bitch! Every single time too! He groaned painfully, silently wondering if he would ever be able to use it again… and if he could… how long would it remain working if he spent too much more time with Kagome. He managed to limp to the clearing that Kagome currently inhabited. His eyes narrowed on her indignantly, his poor manhood screaming for him to run out of earshot from this wicked creature. He hesitated a moment before sitting down very carefully, worried about his injuries.

Kagome turned sharply when she heard Inuyasha’s approach. She was a bit shocked, he normally tried to surprise her by sneaking up on her, earning himself a sit, but… ah well. She liked those times, when he was playful. She watched as he took a seat next to her.

Her thoughts took on down a new road, thinking about the years that they have been together, how happy they were. How many adventures they had shared, how much they all grew up. She conjured up thoughts of him in her mind, how much she liked his doggy ears, how much she loved the way he acted, and how on the inside, he was just a gentle soul. She also liked how strong he was, and yet, he could play with her and she wouldn’t even endure one accidental scratch… no bruises… no nothing. His hands… that could crush rocks and bend metal… but could hold her as lightly and gently as a feather with no harm. “You done touching yourself?” She blurted.

“For your information I was not touching myself out of pleasure you dumb bitch!” He shouted out the pet name he picked out for her. “I had to save it from your sitting me you idiot!”

Her eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

“What do you think I mean?!” He wailed at the top of his lungs.

“So… it wasn’t… sitting the way it way supposed to?” She questioned, her mind starting to comprehend what was going on. He had a hard on… the freak! She cried out inwardly. But does this mean…? Maybe he…? Her mind wouldn’t let her get her hopes up.

“No shi-” He began but was drawn to the floor again.

“SIT!” Her voice screamed out. “You perv!” She huffed. “Honestly… should I start calling you Moroku?” She fought, but in her mind, she couldn’t be happier. Maybe he was thinking of me. She couldn’t let on that she liked that idea though, if she were wrong, it would be humiliating!

That’s it! He began to stand up. Being compared with that lecherous monk was the last damn straw. He didn’t even get to feel Kagome’s ass yet… if he was going to get accused, he might as well enjoy the perks!

She saw his hands coming at her and she screamed. Her body acted of it’s own accord, her foot landed soundly on his face.
What the hell is she doing? He was almost amused when he saw her foot fly into his face. It didn’t even hurt. He almost snickered, but held it back, he didn’t want another sit fit. He grabbed around her ankle, pulling it up, hoping she would lose her balance. To his delight, she just hopped closer to him, preventing a fall of any kind. Hmmm… she is flexible… I wonder when I’ll be able to test just how much… He cursed, feeling his body react again despite the earlier pain. Ah… what the hell… one more time isn’t going to hurt anything. “Sit!” God… what would I do for some ice…?


* * *


It was time to decide what to do with the jewel. No one really wanted to think about the time when this would have to happen. No one wanted to think about how Kagome could never come back to this time. Without the jewel it was impossible. However, the jewel was just too dangerous to exist. Kaede believed that if someone made a wish pure enough, that maybe the jewel would disappear, or become a regular old stone. Before Inuyasha could volunteer for the job, Kaede appointed Kagome to think of something, she could think about her wish for a few days if she wanted to, but she had to do it soon, they could no longer wait for something else to happen to the Shikon no Tama. They couldn’t afford it, especially now that it was whole, who knows what kind of insane creatures would come after it now. They especially did not want a demon more powerful than Naraku to come to them, destroying them and the rest of the humans for it’s thirst for power… no… it had to be done soon… or never.

Kagome, with a heavy heart put the two pieces together. One side that she held, and the other that Inuyasha had carried until this day. She told them that she would go home for a few days to think about it. She needed time… time…

When she returned home, she deftly walked up to her room and threw herself onto the bed. Her mind raced with thoughts. She would have to decide… and she was worried. What if I cannot return to my own time? What if I cannot return there? She wondered if it mattered which era she made the wish from, w she she be stuck there forever? She didn’t want to think about it, but she had to. Do I have to leave mama and everyone else? Do I have to leave… She left it at that… Does he even care about me? What if I… she nearly sobbed. What if I left mama… what if I left everyone here… and stayed there… and he left me all alone… and I couldn’t get back home… I don’t think I couldnd ind it! I don’t think I could live! If he left me all alone in that horrible place… all by myself! The only reason I can survive there is through his help… without him… her eyes watered. I would be helpless. She knew full well she couldn’t live in that time period and survive… where you had to hunt for your dinner… or grow it… everything was so convenient in this time… so different… life would be so hard in the lands Inuyasha came from.

She thought with a laugh about not having the little conveniences of home… like shampoo in a bottle… or toothpaste… GOD! What a sight she would be then. She loved Songo and Moroku… but their teeth… both of them… she wondered if they would be able to eat anything but mush by the time they were forty. Inuyasha on the other hand was fine… his teeth stayed clean for the most part, and if a tooth pained him at all, he would just have to pull it out and grow a new one the next day. So crazy… at least his breath isn’t bad… thank God… because as much as he shouts at me it would be terrible if it did! She snickered.

I think I know what I want to request from the Shikon no Tama though… I think I know… She closed her eyes in thought. I wish that… that Inuyasha could have his wish… what he wanted before… I wish that… he could be happy… I wish that… even if he picks Kikyo in his heart… that he can be happy still… but if he picked me… if he wanted to be with me… if we could be together… that we could be content together… forever. I want to be able to make him happy for all time… to stay by his side… I wish that I could do all these things if he will have me… but if not… I wish that he would be happy anyway… without regrets… I want him to be so happy… She thought with tears in her eyes, opening them. She felt the stone between her hand lose it’s warmth, the beautiful sparkling twinkle dying in it. It grew black as death, and just as cold. It almost pained her to hold it anymore, and she let if fall to the floor and rolled under her bed – the Shikon no Tama was purified for all time. No one could revive it now… and she smiled. She would have to remember to pick it up later. She waited for a moment; half hoping that she would be taken away in a stream of light to him. No such miracle had happened. Did this mean that he chose her? She scoffed at her foolish thinking and turned over, tears hitting her pillow.

It’s better this way… now I don’t have to look at him when he tells me how he picked Kikyo… or how he wanted neither of us… sick of having to chose. I’m glad though… he can be happy now… and maybe he’ll forget about me. She wanted to cry at her last thought. So… this is how Kikyo felt… I’m the same I guess… I don’t want to be forgotten either… but… but I can make it through. I will learn to live without him… I’ll learn how to be happy… Even though this feel likes the end of the world now… mom always said that time heals all wounds… I’m young right? Next week I’ll have forgotten about it and found someone new. I guess I can look up Hojo and see how he is doing… maybe he’ll even take me as his girlfriend. But not now… I just want to bleed… I just want to cry… and she did, all night. She cried until she fell asleep, dreaming about how he chose her instead. How he held her in his arms, telling her how contented he was, how much he loved her.


* * *


Kagome woke up, her eyes aching slightly from crying so much the night before. Her face itched a little from the salt from her tears. Ugh… no point in losing my mind over this… I need to get up… one day at a time. If I can just make it past the days I can do it.
Kagome stumbled into the bathroom, her limbs aching slightly. She grumbled, aggravated, not quite able to keep her balance. She half wondered if this was how it felt to be drunk. Her hands found a toothbrush and a cup, she started the water and looked into the mirror, it was foggy. Hmm, the little brat must have just taken a shower. She pondered about her brother nonchalantly. After she was finished with brushing her teeth, she attacked her hair, after the tangles were removed; she decided to wipe the condensation off of the mirror. Once she did, she saw two glowing yellow eyes staring back at her. She caught a flash of his face. She squirmed after she picked up the small details. He had long white hair, ribbons of color framing his cheeks and pointed elf ears. She backed up, frightened, only to find the source of her fright waiting behind her. She squeaked, an arm wrapping around her.

No… NO! She cried inwardly. How could he be here?! Sesshoumaru… no… what did she do to deserve this?! She started sobbing, kicking, anything to make him let go of her.

“Will you cut it out already stupid? It’s me!” That drew her eyes fully to the mirror, Inuyasha! “What are you crying for this time? Damn woman!” He exclaimed.

“Inuyasha… why are you here… I thought…” She covered her mouth, dare she dream? “Have you… come for me?”

“Why else would I be here you stupid wench, for my health? Let’s go…” And with that he started dragging her out of the bathroom.

That simple act made her all but punch him. “WHAT?! You think you can tell me what to do?!” She asked indignant, pulling back with surprising force. She noticed her hand as her arm was drawn back. She had stripes? Wait a second… she looked at Inuyasha again, trying to comprehend what was going on. “I-Inuyasha…” Her voice quivered. Wait… he was here! Maybe it just took longer for the jewel to work! She started feeling weird, her body, which felt off balance to begin with, started to change more and more. Her body went off kilter, her fingers, so sharp… her nails had never been so sharp before… she clutched to his jacket.

“Kagome… we have to talk.” And with that – she passed out.


* * *


Inuyasha had sat her on the bed, being very calm and quiet. He was not acting like himself, but she knew that him turning demon had not affected him the way she had originally thought it would. She remembered when his demon blood took over, how horrifying it had been… how much he changed… but maybe it was because his half demon body could not handle the blood that flowed through his veins… she didn’t know, but she was silently relieved that he could contain his primal instincts in this form.

All that aside… she had small black stripes on her arms, they almost looked like claw mark burns. She felt her ears quite a few times, just to realize that they were still pointed. She was so worried as to what was happening to her.

“What did you ask the Shikon no Tama to do Kagome?” His voice was even, no sound of anger. He wasn’t in a playful mood right now; he just wanted to know what was happening. “Did you even make a request? Maybe this is some kind of spell?”

“How did you get through the well with no jewel shards?”

“Does it matter?!” He yelled, losing it for a second. She almost sighed, realizing that he was just staying calm for her benefit. He needed to understand the situation; he was the same quick-tempered Inuyasha she had grown to love. “I don’t know how… I just did… will you answer my question already?” Women… jeeze… The moment he turned into a full demon he knew something was up with Kagome… wondering why she had wished him the way he was. He was surprised to find that he could control himself… even more surprised at his appearance. He now had elf like ears and a single purple line framing his rough cheeks. His hair still retained it’s unruly style and texture, but he no longer had the dog ears on top of his head. He immediately thought of Kagome and rushed into the well – hoping that he t bet be able to visit her without the use of jewel shards, he was, he wasn’t sure why, but it had worked.

The second he went through the well, he knew that something was different… her smell was different, much different. He grew worried when he ascended the staircase to get to her room. Her smell was something else, it almost made him want to growl at her a lot? Maybe chase her around a tree? He didn’t know, it was a weird feeling.

“I just wanted you to be happy Inu-chan.” She admitted with a blush. “I wanted you to have your wish, and to be able to stay with whomever you wanted.” She paused, trying to think of what to say next. “I wanted to make sure you were happy… if you picked me or Kikyo.”

“God! Can’t I have a moments peace without that undead wench being mentioned? I already avenged her… I don’t see why we gotta keep talking about her all the time.” He growled. “Was there anything else you wished for… maybe something along the lines of ‘I wonder what it’s like to be a demon…’ or some other crap you might have let slip into that big empty head of yours?”

She slapped him for that. “NO!” Her voice rose enough to hurt her own ears, causing them both to wince. “I just wanted you to be happy… and if…” She stuttered looking down. “And if you wanted to be with me… that we could be happy together…”

“And…?” He waited.

“That we could be happy together…” She repeated. “Forever.”

Oh ho… so that’s why things turned out the way they did… what an odd little jewel that was… it had a sense of humor… His anger grew considerably. Well his sense of humor just ran the hell out… He wasn’t sure if Kagome knew what this all meant… hell… he didn’t even know if she got a good look at herself in the mirror… but by the way she keeps rubbing her arms and ears… I’d say it’s finally sinking in…

“Inuyasha… did it turn us both into… d-demons?”

“Why y-yes K-Kagome… I do believe it turned us into d-demons.” He mocked her fragile voice. “What did you expect? You said ‘forever’ it was just taking what you said literally.” He already regretted the words that left his mouth. She was going to let him have it. When am I gonna learn to keep my mouth shut? God only knows how she is going react to what is… has happened to her.

Her mouth formed a tight line, on the verge of tears. “You don’t have to be so mean!” She screamed, looking at her arms. “I don’t know what I’m going to do now!”

“Nothing we can do… except maybe to accept what has happened and move from here.” He shrugged, nothing had really changed, except maybe their appearances, and those things didn’t hold much weight in the long run anyway.

“You don’t understand… people don’t normally have pointy ears and weird tattoos all over their bodies!”

“Sure they do…” Inuyasha said, confused. “I’ve seen people on that… television thing you have… there were some people who tried imitating the way demons look.” He itched the side of his face nonchalantly. “I even went on your… in-tri-nert…” He took a stab at the name. “There was that Steve Haworth guy who does all that-”

“Ok, ok! I get it! There are some people who do that… but not all that many… I’m also quite sure that none of those people can break a steel bar with his pinkie!”

Inuyasha grinned. “I’ve got them on that one.” He snickered, pleased with himself. He lifted an eyebrow, curious about her earlier statements. “So you wanted me to be… happy?” He mocked her girly tone, causing her to take a punch at him. He grabbed her arm. “You really meant that Kagome? Your wish for me that is?” His voiced softened, he almost smiled but believed her words too good to be true.

“What? That I wanted to be with you?”

“W-well yeah.” It was his turn to burn with embarrassment.

“Of course I did!” She screeched. “Are you totally blind and stupid?!”

“Of course not!” He fidgeted. “I was just never sure… you give out weird signals sometimes… I have no idea how to get into that girl head of yours!” He said, flustered. “I didn’t want to do something stupid…” He sighed. “I didn’t want you to hate me… and…” He paused for a moment. “I didn’t want you to reject me either.”

“Why would you think that?” Kagome asked, confused. She scooted over closer to him, putting her head down on his shoulder. “I’ve always wanted to be with you… I was always so jealous of Kikyo… I always thought you loved her more.”

“Well, sure I loved Kikyo…” He admitted. “But that was when she was alive… she was so different from the way you see her now… she was a bit more… lively… no pun intended.”

“Of course.” She smiled sadly.

“But… after she was brought back… she was so different… so very cold. I couldn’t believe some of the things she said… I did still love her, but only that I felt that I needed to avenge her. She was so helpless against Naraku, just like everyone else. She was pulled back into the game with the help of some demon… I couldn’t just let her wander the earth suffering and unavenged as she was… I owed her that much.” He grew quiet. “But then I met you…” He breathed. “You were so different from everyone else… even Kikyo. She loved me, but never as much as you.” His eyes glanced away from her and out the window, lost in thought. “You just loved me… didn’t you Kagome… from the first moment we met?” He asked, looking at her, but he didn’t wait for an answer, she would be too shy to admit it. “I couldn’t believe it… someone was out there who could care for me… so deeply. You loved me for who I was… but in my mind I was never good enough for you. I thought I wanted to be a demon before… but that wasn’t the half of it. Once I met you my thoughts were bent on claiming the Shikon no Tama so I could become a full demon, to protect you better.” He cast his gaze downward. “I remember all those times… all those times I could have lost you… if not for someone else you would have died… I hated it… I hated how weak I was… what good wasf I f I couldn’t even protect you? Or have died before they could so much as glance at you?”

“You weren’t weak Inuyasha.” Kagome reassured him. “I never thought that… I always thought that you were handsome… sg ang and wonderful. I also knew that you would never let anyone hurt me… and you would always try your best.” She breathed in his scent… for some reason it made her blood boil, she wanted to hiss at him… scratch him? What a weird thought… she wondered why… but… oh well. “Where do we go from here?” She looked up.

“Well…” He grinned, not really wanting to tell her. “Want to come back with me through the well? I’m sure we could think of something…” I’ve been thinking of something for the past few years… I don’t know about you though…

“I guess I should pack my things up then.” She said simply, standing up.

That was when he saw it, his eyes bugging out of his head almost. Her tail… of course he had one too… but… hers was much different. Her tail was very slender and black as her hair… but… it didn’t quite match up… and he almost growled.

She looked back at him, noting his silence – her tail formed a question mark – mimicking how she felt. “Is t som something wrong Inuyasha?”

“W-well.” He stammered, what kind of joke was this?! She was a cat! A cat demon! No wonder when he smelled her scent he felt strange. Dog and cat demons did not get along very well… not from the rumors he heard anyway. While Dog demons were fiercely loyal, very dominant and strong… cat demons were very flighty wishy-washy and weak. It wasn’t unheard of for dog and cat demons to mate… it was just… weird sho should have known though… she had a cat… she likes cats… so she would probably be more inclined to act like one. I guess that explains the flexibility thing… He guessed that it wouldn’t be so bad with a dark smile… besides… this was his Kagome… he could train her to act like he wanted her to… it was possible. “No there is no problem at all.”

“I don’t like that look.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “I’m watching you.”

“Just like a cat.” He noted.

“What?”

“Nothing… nothing at all.” He held up his hands. “Just get ready, ok?” He said evenly, not wanting a fight… yet.

“Alright…” She still didn’t trust that look; it reminded her strongly of Moroku before he tried something foolhardy.

He watched her as she went into the bathroom to change. “Your out of sk-hool by now aren’t you?” He asked.

“Yeah, thank God.” He heard her breath from in the bathroom. “I was getting sick of having to give excuses to come visit you.”

Good… then she didn’t have a reason to come flying back here all the time… he could keep a better eye on her. He groaned, imagining how he was going to keep all the freaks away from her now. Cat demons by nature we extremely horny, even more so than dogs… the thought alone made him shiver. If he left her unmarked… and she went into heat… well… he didn’t want to think about that. Every cat demon within a hundred mile radius would come flying out of the woodworks to try to claim her for themselves. He anticipated the fights that would break out. He could just imagine what they would try to do to her… And they would die if they tried to put their filthy paws on her. He snarled on the inside thinking of anyone, human or not, trying to touch her. It was enough to have him rush to her right now… but… he could control himself… he breathed… everything would be ok… just breath. He reminded himself. Breath. He smelled something… something he couldn’t believe he hadn’t smelled before.

“You ok in there Inuyasha?” She asked, he heard her packing toiletries in her huge yellow bag.

“I’m fine.” He replied quickly, trying to figure out where the smell was coming from. It smelled like her, when she was human of course. He could remember that scent… the same smell when she masturbated when she thought everyone else had fallen asleep. It was that same musky scent. He sniffed at one of the dresser drawers. It was so faint, but he could smell it. He turned an elf ear in the direction of the restroom, listening for her, he could hear a faint tinkling of bottles… she was still distracted. He slowly opened the drawer, quite interested to see what was inside.

He fell backwards when he saw it, horrified. What did Kagome need with such a thing?! Did she… he was to horrorstruck to even think of what she- wait a minute? He looked back in the drawer. It was made of that ‘plastic’ stuff… Oh… thank God! He cried mentally, pulling the object out of the drawer, sniffing it.

Why did it look like a penis? He was pleased to find that it was no where near his size, but… what the hell was it for?! Does she have sex with this thing? He scoffed. What’s so good about it? I’m sure I could do whatever this thing does and more… Still… Kagome’s scent IS on this thing… I wonder… he darted his tongue out and licked it… hoping to get a taste… he was disappointed to find that it was clean, but only the faint scent remained. I can’t believe I just licked a plastic dick… I’m sad. He realized with a start that he had stopped listening for Kagome, being so wrapped up in the weird artificial penis in his hand. He turned his head slowly.

Her face truly expressed the horror she was experiencing just that moment. Her eyes seemed to have lost all color and her face took on the most interesting shade of blue. “I-INUYASHA!” Her voice made the birds just outside the window fly away in fright. She could do nothing but stare at him, her body so frozen in utter shock.

He winced at the force behind her scream, but couldn’t help but ask. “Kagome… why the hell would you have something like this?” At the same moment his finger flipped the switch, he let it drop to the floor with a shocked gasp as it began to vibrate it’s way along the floor. “What the hell kind of thing is it?!”

As if something cracked in her mind she could only think of one word. “SIT!”


* * *


They walked quietly side by side on their way to the well. He had her bag of things in tow, she was outwardly seething, and he couldn’t resist a tease. “I don’t see why your so mad at me… you’re the one who-”

“SIT!”

He fell to the floor, her things falling to the ground with him, scattering all of her belongings in plain view. She gave out a surprised gasp and started to gather her things and stuff them back in the bag. When he was finally able to get up, he realized that something of hers landed on his head. “What’s this?” He stretched it out, looking at it with a grin.

“P-panties! SIT!” She wailed, wondering if there was any way for her to be even more mortified than she already was!

He groaned, wondering how he was going to put any of his plans into action if she kept getting embarrassed and sitting him.


* * *


They hopped out onto the other side of the well. Both signing, breathing in the fresh air. There were a lot less conflicting smells here… a bit simpler. He eyed her quickly, making a mental note of her clothing. She was wearing one of those skirt things… he hated those stupid things. They showed off way too much of her legs. It also wasn’t very good for her to wear that thing anyway… especially with that tail… it kept swinging back and forth curiously – seemingly of it’s own accord. He noticed Kagome coming to a realization quite a few times that her ‘panties’ were showing when it was lifted up to high.

“I’m getting you some different clothes.” He stated simply.

“What?” Her neck snapped around. “Why?”

“So your tail will be a bit more comfortable.” He decided to stick with that for now – not wanting to inform her about how she wasn’t allowed to show off her body – she would probably try to defy him… something he couldn’t deal with right now.

“Oh.” Was her reply.

“Look… I’m sorry about the plastic dick already!” He sed. ed.

“It’s not that…” She looked away.

“Then what is it?!” He growled.

“It’s the fact you brought it with you… you damned sicko!” She screamed.

That caught him off guard. “H-how did you know?”

“I’ve got a nose now too you simpleton.” She hissed.

That did it… his whole body felt some weird wave of energy pass through it, and he growled deeply, the sound coming from deep within his chest. Her body reacted to the sound, tensing up and ready to spring away at any moment. The chase was on!


* * *


End notes: I hope that the story is at least humorous at this point. ^_^ I had my boyfriend look over it for spelling errors – I could hear him laughing from downstairs. Please give some reviews and tell me what you think. Oh yes! Sorry about the miserably short chapter last time… doh… I thought I copied more of the fic than I thought I did… *sniffle*