SURVIVE

Some people wanted more clarity on the history so I have expanded on it. Sorry no full lemons yet, just a dash for comfort. A nd Im winning NaNo by the end of this chapter.

So read, review and enjoy.

Chapter 19 : Grief

Jinenji sat sadly at the table. They had all watched silently as Sesshoumaru had carried the the silent and listless young Hanyou away after the revelation. For the first time since he recovered Jinenji had seen the silky white ears, flopped down and flat, unresponsive to the sounds around him. His little brother had looked totally unlike his normal self. He had seemed small and frail as he was cradled in Lord Sesshoumaru's arms. Jinenji did not like it not one bit.

Kouga and Shri Suijin had left the room, sick bay to contact Kouga's nephew and get him to the Demon Lands as soon as possible. Having a direct ancestor may help the young one in this time of distress. Jinenji did not envy Kouga's task, telling some one who yearned for a child that that not only had he had a child the child was now dead, was not going to be easy. Jinenji hoped that they could get the Cupid to the palace and at least break the news to him in person.

Jinenji listen carefully as Bakusen'O, Bankotsu, Shri Kaguya and Commander Kagura tried to make Inuyasha's lineage clear in their own minds. Even now there were so many unanswered questions, so much mystery about his little brother. Not contributing much Jinenji listened to the conversation.

"Lets do this in order of the family tree." Shri Kaguya said as she took out some parchment and quill and began to draw out the tree in order. "The OverKings of all nations are the decedents of the three Saviors who defeated the Dark ones."

Banksen'O frowned "We dont have to go that far back, lets start with Inuyasha's Great Great Grand Parents. If you will forgive me for using their names, that will help clarify matters." the tree demon asked politely and Kaguya waved for him to go ahead. "Inuyasha's Great Great Grandfather was OverKing Ayoga Kenshin, he was married to Shri Suijin's older sister Princess Arrissa Kurusaki. Both Ayoga and Arissa, died of natural causes some time ago, after raising four sons."

Bankotsu continued "Hmmm... The current OverKing is the oldest son, and Prince Kouga Kenshin is the youngest. The second son, Prince Tamaho was Inuyasha's Great Grandfather. He mated with Lady Miyaka, she was the oldest daughter of a noble Shiro Inu house. Though it happened before I was born, her elopement to a Seraphim was a huge scandal, because her family were renowned for their hatred of Seraphim. Even now, their family is openly against the efforts to actively trade with the Seraphim, and they really hate Sesshoumaru's guts. I doubt they will even acknowledge Inuyasha is related to them."

"That will be their loss!" Kagura snapped, she had no time for petty families. "We will keep them away from Sesshoumaru's Hanyou." She said firmly.

Kaguya smiled. Bakusen'O nodded and continued with the topic at hand. "So Prince Tamaho and Lady Miyaka mated and had twin Cupid children, Miroku and Michiko. Of the four, only Miroku is still alive today." Bakusen'O sighed, so much death in one lineage.

Kaguya nodded, "Yes, only Miroku survives. Though I doubt even he can remember all his encounters, he must have fathered a child with most likely a human woman at some point. And the woman is either decrepit by now, or dead as well. We cant tell the state of grandparents from Inuyasha's aura, just his parents. That means the first person of three kinds of blood is not actually Inuyasha, but Inuyasha's father."

"Yes, that is the most likely scenario." Bankotsu agreed. "And this is pure speculation, as the biggest unknowns are Inuyasha's actual parents. We have just summarized everything we know about them. We know Inuyasha's father is the one that is mixed, but we don't even know his name. We have no clue as to Inuyasha's mother's history, nor do we know how Inuyasha managed to end up mistaken for a human, in that blasted city." Bankotsu's fist slammed on the table in frustration. He more than the others had seen how Inuyasha had been treated in the City of the West, and burning the blasted city to the ground would definitely be an improvement.

"How did he get there? He should never have been there!" Jinenji finally said something, tears rolling down his gentle face once again. No one disagreed.

oooo

Soft white hair, slid against Sesshoumaru's shudder plate. Sesshoumaru sank onto the sofa, his Hanyou cradled safely in his arms. Inuyasha looked so lost, and Sesshoumaru's heart actually ached at the youth's silent suffering. What was it about the young one that captivated him so?

Sesshoumaru was not really sure, all he knew was that he had never been so enthralled and so excited and satisfied about life as he had been since he had first challenged the young one to live. No one would be allowed to hurt Inuyasha without retribution, and no one was taking Inuyasha away from him. Looking down at the strong face, Sesshoumaru gently stroked Inuyasha's cheek. He may have royal Seraphic blood, but he was most clearly Shiro Inu Hanyou, and Inuyasha had accepted him as his Lord and Alpha. Sesshoumaru had no intention of relinquishing that role to anyone.

Inuyasha whimpered and turned tortured eyes to Sesshoumaru, "Did I kill them? Did they die because I was born?" He looked away and stared at the wall. "I should not have been born.." The words trailed off, said with heartbreaking defeat.

Sesshoumaru jerked Inuyasha's head back up. There were times when patience and gentleness were required This was NOT one of those times.

"Hanyou, you insult your parents! You insult your lineage, you insult the love that your Great Grandparents had for each other when they defied everything for their love. Parents sacrifice, so that their children can LIVE! You are born, the fruit of a great love, between two people in a time the world was full of hate. To NOT demean that love. You were vorn of old and powerful bloodlines, do NOT dismiss your heritage." Sesshoumaru said strenly his aura expanding and his eyes snapping authourity at Inuyasha.

The young Hanyou stared and blinked, and after a long pause nodded slowly. "Yes, I know. I'm sorry – for a moment – it just seemed too much!" Then a really sad smile washed across Inuyasha's face. "I should be happy to know that much. I always thought it was better if I knew they were no longer alive. I was always so scared, that they were alive and had thrown me in the garbage because I was a Hanyou. But... but, my father was a Hanyou too. They didn't throw me away, they died! I'm a real monster. I thought I would prefer them dead.. but I don't. I don't care if they threw me away, I want them to be alive. I want them to be happy somewhere. Please, please, Oh gods please! I didn't mean it, want them to be alive!" Raw and tortured the words were sobbed out of Inuyasha. His eyes burned and his vision blurred, but still tears could not fall.

Sesshoumaru held Inuyasha close. His arms and moko moko wrapped securely around the shivering frame. He growled comforting, but other wise said nothing. Grief had to be respected, to honor those who came before it, grief had to be experienced. For more than an hour Inuyasha's breathing heaved and he shivered in Sesshoumaru's embrace. Than the reactions began to ease, and the Hanyou curled deeper into the embrace.

After what seemed like forever to Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha raised his head. The haunted look was still in his eyes, but he was no longer overwhelmed by anguish. Inuyasha's eyes looked achingly vulnerable to the Demon Lord. He gently stroked Inuyasha's back, and waited for Inuyasha to speak.

"Am I alone?" Inuyasha asked Sesshoumaru, his honest golden eyes, searching the depths of sharp gold.

"No!" Sesshoumaru responded instantly and firmly. "You are not alone, you belong to my pack now, you belong to me."

"In what capacity?" Inuyasha asked again, his voice searching.

Sesshoumaru sighed, "In what ever capacity you choose. I made a mistake with Yasha - your demon self, I am truly sorry. Yasha is indeed just a child, and I was unforgivably impatient. I will not make that mistake again. I will wait centuries for you. As long as you belong to me, you and not I will decide on your role in my life." Sesshoumaru swore and meant every word. No one, not even he was allowed to abuse the Hanyou any further.

Inuyasha stared into Sesshoumaru's determined globes, and knew the Lord spoke true, he would do no more than he was doing now. Sesshoumaru would hold him, hug him, and do no more, willing to wait for centuries for Inuyasha.

"Yasha and Pup are children. Inu and myself initially aged as humans, now we age with Yasha. I am not a pup My Lord. Can you kiss me please, just once, I need you to kiss me." Inuyasha asked his voice hollow, he needed the sensation of Sesshoumaru's lips on his, he needed some real affirmation that he was not alone.

Slowly, Sesshoumaru bent and claimed the soft lips. At first the kiss was comforting and warm, than Sesshoumaru pulled Inuyasha closer, and the kiss became deeper. Exploring and seducing, Sesshoumaru claimed the lips of the Hanyou as his own. He licked and nipped, and dived into the honeyed depths, monitoring Inuyasha's reactions. When he finally pulled back, Inuyasha almost unconsciously leaned forward, his tongue coming out to lap Sesshoumaru's lips. Loath to losing all contact.

Sesshiumaru still cradling Inuyasha, stood gracefully and made his way to the huge bed. He tried to put Inuyasha downa dn tuck him in, but Inuyasha refused to release his hold around Sesshoumaru's neck. The Hanyoou didn't say anything – he was afraid to ask – he just held on to Sesshoumaru. The Demon Lord smiled and slipped into the bed beside Inuyasha. The Hanyou immediately curled into his arms, and closed his eyes. Sesshoumaru smiled into Inuyasha's hair. His Hanyou was no puppy, and he really could not hide his relief. He would have to wait a little while, perhaps a few weeks. But, now he knew that he would not have to wait centuries either. Sesshoumaru's while lower body twitched in relief, thank the gods.

He pressed his lips to Inuyasha's forehead, and watched over the young one as he slumbered beside him.

-tbc-

AND I have Official NaNo count of 50169 words! I WIN! *grin 50 k in one MONTH.

Okay I know every likes fast updates, but SURVIVE is slowing down a bit, its not complete, just going to a more human writing schedule. My darling Yuusha from Strength is rather annoyed with me, so the next story that gets updated is that. :D Thank yo all for the reviews and the support in NaNO could not have done it without you.