A Blind Heart

Kami’s Boot Camp

KAGS POV

I didn’t sleep as well as you’d think I would. After years of traversing the wilderness and having to sleep on the ground, the futon that I lay on was heavenly. No bandits or rogue Youkai’s to worry about, nor did I have to wonder where InuYasha had snuck off to again. So why did I lay awake finally dropping off into a restless slumber? Well take your pick. You had the lost love, the sacrifice of my family and the well, add to that an amorous Taiyoukai and you had yourself a plethora of emotions.

Yes I was extremely happy that Yasha and Kikyo could be together the way they were meant to be before Naraku’s interference. I knew deep down inside that if he had chosen me the shadow of Kikyo would have forever been in our marriage bed. I would forever ponder who he would see in his minds eye and heart when he kissed me. Better to love him as a friend than to eventually hate him as a lover, ne?

As for my family, I didn’t care what the hell Midoriko and Sen said. The mother of my heart would always be Akina Higurashi, and my father Juro Higurashi. Sen and Midoriko would take some getting use to. Even with that the prospect of us being one great big happy family were slim to none. Friendship I could accept from them, since as the saying goes I’m a grown ass woman and didn’t need another set of parents now. You can’t capture a fleeting moment, can you?

I also wondered about fate. Did it mean that because we were predestined that none of us had a chance when it came to love? That indeed our hearts had been spoken for way before we had even met our future mates? Were my feelings for InuYasha and Maru simply a thought, a feeling, a want planted there by some other being? It literally turned my blood cold. I was finally over Yasha, and in my way to falling in love with Maru. But could I trust what I was feeling? Could I be emphatic that these were indeed all my feelings? A small pang in my heart was the only answer. And just when I thought I would be lost to despair, Maru pulled one out of the hat as they say.

I felt a gentle caress down the side of my face and suddenly I could smell him. A blend of youkai, musk and the forest, it was dark, seductive and primitive. The scent wrapped me in a cloud of warmth and snapped me out of my dark depressing thoughts. When I felt the caress move to my nipples and then my mound I had to laugh, what a naughty Taiyoukai! ‘That’s enough’ was the thought I sent laughingly to him, ‘see you in the morning’. I rolled over and tried to sleep. Tomorrow would bring its own set of problems. Mom was always fond of saying why borrow troubles from tomorrow for today? My last thought before I drowsed off was what did they expect from us?

I awoke to a not so gentle prodding. Yeah, the thought that we were in heaven should have occurred to me. But like normal, I woke up swinging, thinking before I was fully cognizant that it was Yasha bothering me to wake up so we could find jewel shards. Yep, only I Higurashi could smack an angel by accident! Poor Sachi had a small mark on her face and a look of astonishment on her face. The fact that the mark was healing as I watched offered no comfort. I jumped up and bowed low, “Gomen ne, sumimasen Sachi I did not mean to strike you”.

Mortification did not begin to cover it. Although Sachi waved it off, I could still feel my blush rising in my cheeks. Great not even here a whole day and already starting off on the wrong foot Higurashi. I followed Sachi and the other girls to a huge closet filled with different hifuku for women. The closet contained everything from traditional priestess clothing, slayer outfits, lightweight armor to fancy kimonos. Seems our hostess had thought of everything.

Before we could reach out and pick our outfits, Sachi instructed us to choose miko style clothing. I made a face, and proceeded to peruse the selection of hakama. I choose a dark deep purple so dark it almost looked black. Standard white top and hair pulled into a high ponytail. They may give me Miko clothing, didn’t mean I had to act like one. I did giggle at the sight of Sango in her hot pink hakama. The dirty look I received did nothing to stifle the giggles. Add to that was the giggles of Ayame in turquoise hakama with and her hair plaited into a braid down her back. Surprisingly enough Kikyo didn’t choose her normal red. Instead she selected a sage green and put her hair in an elaborate bun with chopsticks.

Fully dressed and ready to have breakfast with the guys we left the room, but not before giving Ayame a brief prep talk. Operation land her man had officially begun. Going to the dining hall we talked and joked with the occasional giggle being heard. Arriving there we could see the men sitting there waiting for us. They looked so expectant that we all burst out laughing. Seeing them raise their eyebrows at our behavior made us laugh even harder, especially as Koga muttered “females” under his breath.

We sat by our respective males and began to eat and offer conversation. I should have been awkward around Maru considering everything that occurred last night but I wasn’t. We fed each other little bits of food. I don’t know what made me do what I did next. You think that in heaven the little devil on your left shoulder is suppose to be quiet but apparently not! “So Ayame, now that you have decided to release Koga from his vow, what will you do?” Talk about the ripple effect! Koga laid down his chopsticks, with more force than necessary. “Do you mean to tell me Ayame, that after many years of chasing me and threatening to take me before the Council of Elders, that you have now changed your mind?”

Ayame laid down her chopstick gracefully, finished chewing her food, picked up the napkin and wiped her mouth. Good girl, make him wait, keep him off balance was the cheer running through my head. Maru must have picked up on some of it because his eyes looked full of laughter. Only years of training as the Ice Lord kept him from laughing out loud. “Lord Koga, you have made it abundantly clear throughout the years that you do not desire me. Indeed as of last week you were still pining for the Miko Kagome. While I may not possess the beauty and grace that you are looking for, I have my pride. Therefore I have decided that rather than take an unwilling mate, due to a decree from heaven or earth that I will instead choose one who will love me with all of his heart.” She stood up and bowed to excuse herself.

I don’t know what would have happened if Sachi hadn’t advised us that Kimi would need to speak to us. Ayame sat back down and sipped her oolong tea. Poor Koga sat there with his mouth opening and closing. InuYasha must have had enough, because he bopped him on the head and screamed at him “close your mouth you wimpy wolf you look like a dying fish”. The anger on Koga’s face and the smirk on Yasha’s were too much. I tried not to laugh I really did, but when Ayame began to snicker I lost it. Laughter reigned supreme for the next five minutes as the entire group minus Koga laughed.

Finally finished with our mirth we sat down and continued to eat. When we finished our meal Kimi appeared. We sat down, and out of the corner of my eye I could see each of the ladies shift a little closer to the males. Here I sat in a dining hall with a long 8 feet table made of mahogany on silk pillows of every conceivable color, sakura blossoms in vases scattered throughout the room and all I could think about was the insane urge to climb into Maru’s lap and have him protect me against what I thought might come out of Kimi’s mouth

“Greeting Lords and Ladies, today is your initial day of training. You will be broken into teams. The Ladies will pair up with their respective mates”. Sumimasen Kimi-Sama but the mating of all at this table is not finalized, could you instead refer to all as fighting partners” asked Ayame. Koga looked stunned, maybe now the idiot was realizing what could slip through his fingers if he didn’t hold tight. Saying it to Kimi made it tangible and real, something that not even Koga could ignore.

“I stand corrected; each lady will pair up with her fighting partner. You will both learn to combine your specialized attacks. Once the pair is successful then you will be joined by another pair making it a group of four. Those four will learn to combine attacks and fight along side each other. When that part of the training is complete all eight will train in one group. The purpose is for you to fight as a cohesive team, anticipating the other needs, locations and attacks. Only then will you have a chance at being victorious”. Kimi stood and motioned for us to follow.

Okay, it’s show time! We followed her outside to a courtyard and to four different building. Each one was a different dojo. “Before you are assigned a dojo I must ask your indulgence. There are two in the group who are by their very nature more susceptible to injury. Balance between all is required. Therefore we will be bestowing upon Sango and Miroku the gift of Youkai. They will be from the Black Inu-Youkai clan, and will be blessed with spiritual powers along with speed, agility and other youkai abilities”. As Kimi spoke a cloud formed of reikai surrounded Miroku and Sango; swirling around them getting brighter till at last we had to close our eyes. The very air seemed to hold it breath, until with a pop that was felt more than heard it was over. When we opened our eyes Sango and Miroku both had tails, pointed ears and claws.

Sango’s hair had darkened to black and now fell to the back of her knees. Her pink eyeliner now looked permanent. Cheekbones had become more pronounced with one purple stripe on each side. Her forehead was adorned with a Lotus Blossom symbolizing her blessing from Kami. I also thought she looked more voluptuous, but not having really checked my best friend out I couldn’t be positive. Her claws were white and deadly looking. Miroku too underwent some changes; he had grown 4 inches making him 6’1”. His hair was way longer than before just hitting the top of his butt. His forehead had the matching symbol to Sango and his cheekbones were the same. His only difference was that entwined with the Lotus was a small picture of his staff identifying him as having spiritual powers.

Nobody quite knew what do. We were all stunned by the change. Miroku of course did what he always does. He leaned over and fondled Sango’s behind. Yes they were engaged, and yes they did the down and dirty, but I suppose being turned youkai was a bit too much for Sango. Surely that’s the only reason she turned and punched him in the head. But unlike hits of the past this one sent him flying backwards 25 feet. I cracked up when I heard her growl. She turned to me with eyes rimmed in red from her frustration and growled again. This time I fell to the floor and howled my laughter. I knew from past experiences that not only could Sango not stay mad, but that she would join me.

True to form I was joined on the floor by a laughing Sango. We finally got ourselves under control, yet the sight of Miroku when he limped over with a huge bump on his head started us off again and this time the rest of the group joined in. “Ahem, if you are all finished, I still have several announcements to make before the training is assigned. Kagome you already possess phenomenal powers, when you are made a youkai this will increase drastically. We will make you a White Inu-Youkai to match Sesshoumaru. However you will retain all of your Miko abilities. Kikyo and InuYasha will be made full demons as this is something that Taisho would have wanted for his child and mate”.

Before she had even finished the damn sentence I felt a cloud of jaku and reiku surround me. It felt awful, like being torn apart and put back together again. I knew this had to happen but shit. I watched as claws sprung out of my hands feeling the pain of the claw slicing through my skin. I felt cartilage in my ears and face move and stretch to accommodate my new form. Fire raced along my veins as my blood changed with the addition of youkai energy. My hair growing even filled me with pain. I felt my frame stretch and my torso change. Dear Kami was there anything else that was going to change? Fangs erupted from my gums causing me to nick my lip. Just when I thought that I would pass out from the pain it stopped. I feel to my knees unable to support myself.

Quick as a flash Maru scooped me in his arms. I concentrated on his smell and the warmth that he provided. With my new hearing I listened as Kikyo and InuYasha groaned. Why Sango and Miroku hadn’t gone through such pain? Kikyo, InuYasha and I seemed to have suffered with our transition. The big question was why? And trust me when I say I intended to get answers. I nudged Maru so I could stand. I wondered how I looked, and if he would still feel attracted to my new form. Maybe he loved me only as a human. Maybe I wasn’t beautiful as a Inu-Youkai.

Thankfully before I could work myself into a snit, Maru twirled me around and kissed me. No, he devoured me. Once the taste of my blood hit his mouth he got really happy to see me. Feeling him pressed against me, I wished that we were back to last night. Free to explore this budding sexuality between us. Reality checked in when Yasha screamed at us to get a room. Just the thing I needed on top of an already stressful morning.

Kimi asked how all us transformed Youkai felt. For once I heartily agreed with Yasha’s rude and abrupt answer. “How do you thing we feel, let me pull you inside out and see what you say. Feh, aren’t angels suppose to be smarter than that?” Sango and Miroku gasped, but Kikyo and I nodded in support. Shit she could have at least given us a warning. But no I guess since tenshi’s had high threshold of pain it kind of slipped her mind. I shuddered, overwhelmed by my new sight, sense of smell and feel. Never before had I appreciated the silvery white of Maru hair, or the sensation of his hand in mine. Kami, if I thought that his scent was sweet before well it was downright intoxicating to me.

“Well on to the training portion of the day. Sango will team up with Miroku learning to combine her Hiraikotsu with his wind tunnel. By the way Naraku’s curse has been broken. As an elemental youkai you will have control of the air. Sango will have control of the water. Together their attacks will prove strong and deadly. Your sensei will teach you how to use these new powers to their greatest potential. Ayame and Koga, you have been granted dominion over earth and fire. Your sensei will also teach you the best combination of these two powers”.

“InuYasha and Kikyo must learn to combine miko and youkai powers, rendering the Tetsaiga unstoppable. It will be capable of purifying and killing more than 1000 demons at one time. If they both learn control he will be able to control which demons are purified leaving those he wants untouched. It will also go further and deeper than previous attacks have gone. Eventually you will be able to use the attacks in smaller more concentrated spurts. Kikyo will also be to pull on the swords attack; this will be taught to you by your sensei”.

“Lady Kagome and Lord Sesshoumaru will also need to work. Sesshoumaru has two swords, Toukijin and Tensaiga. Toukijin will not accept any of Kagome’s miko abilities or power. Therefore her training will have to encompass combining her youkai with the sword power. Word to the wise, the sword harbors a very evil and unstable entity; Kagome will have to come to terms with the entity which is a sentient being. The Tensaiga has the power to heal this is more in line with Kagome’s miko powers and she should be able to master this sword fairly easy. The more difficult task will be using her elemental attacks. You are the team that must to command and control air, fire, water and earth”.

“Each dojo has a sign on the door in the color of each ladies hakama. Inside you will find your Sensei. You will not move on until you are deemed ready for the next step. Every morning after breakfast you will perform two hours of jisshuu and then you will receive heihoushinan and shiden for attacks from your Sensei for two hours with a break for the middle meal and then an additional two hours of training. Once this is complete you will practice your attacks. Mental, physical and spiritual wellness is needed for the success of the mission. Please locate your dojo and begin, I will see you at the last meal of the day”. And with that our gracious hostess disappeared.

Exchanging looks amongst us we turned and found our assigned Sensei. Surprise, surprise we were given Midoriko. Looks like step one was going to be real fun!

One Frustrating month later!

Damn, I wiped the sweat of my eyes. For the fourteenth time I began to meditate and try to channel my energy into feeding Maru’s attack with Tessaiga. His sword began to glow pink until right before he would unleash an attack the damn spark would go out. He lowered his sword. Most people would have sighed or gotten aggravated. Not him, instead I was treated to a ice cold Sesshoumaru. Lord of the Freeze had returned. “Miko I fail to conceive why you are unable to meld your Miko powers into Tessaiga. Your failure with this has prevented us from moving on to the next level. It is unfathomable that the hanyou and his mate have mastered this and we have not. How is that the priestess Kikyo whose powers are weaker than yours if able to utilize InuYasha’s attacks with Tetsaiga? Is she more talented than you or is she simply more in tuned with her mate?”

I froze not believing my ears. He couldn't have said what he did. Did he? I shook my head in disbelieve. "Care to repeat that?" And the idiot did. I was used to hearing InuYasha compare me to his first love and find me lacking. I was even used the girls of my time comparing me and finding me lacking. But Sesshoumaru, I thought for sure that he could see me for me Kagome. Were our nightly forays and long talks for nothing? I think he could have disemboweled me in that moment and it would have hurt less. So I did what any girl in pain would do. I ran.

I burst through the dojo door and ran towards the wing of the castle that the girls were assigned to. After a month of being there we knew that it did not allow the males on our side and vice a versa. I was almost there so close; I could practically reach the archway that separated the wing from the rest of the house. And then a clawed hand grabbed my shoulder. Fuck! He spun me around, eyes rimmed in red showing his level of aggravation. Maybe it should have been a warning but I was in no mood to heed the warning. “Bitch you will explain your turning your back on this Sesshoumaru and then running off. I did not give you leave of my presence”.

I sputtered, give me leave? Who the fuck did he think he was. I growled, the urge to slash him and make him bleed was overwhelming. I did not want to be here. The pain in my heart was huge, I could feel it shattering. I wished with all my heart that I could leave. Something happened then, something that never happened before. I transported to my room onto my mattress. I sank down curled into a ball and cried. When would I be good enough? When would someone compare anyone to me with me being the winner? I generated a shield around me; I was alone so alone and wanted to keep it that way.

I could hear Sesshoumaru growling outside, demanding I come back to speak to him. How do you look the one you love in the eye when a little piece inside you is dying? I mourned the lost of the relationship. Obviously I could not stay with a male who compared me others. Where was the fucking honor in that? Had my sacrifice for this god forsaken time not counted? Did a girl have to bleed to death to get recognition? Fine, I brought my claws to my wrist and swiped. As I watched the blood well up with a morbid fascination, I didn’t think of the fate of the world. I didn’t even think of my darling boy Shippo. All I could see was Maru’s face when he marked me.

The blood loss and the pain in my heart was making me weak. I closed my eyes and waited for the pain to disappear. I didn’t count on the healing and regenerative powers of a youkai. Within minutes I could see my wrist closing and feel the dizziness from the blood loss leaving me. Great that just left behind the pain of a broken heart. I could feel Maru trying to get into my mind. Well fuck him; this particular door was closed. At first the intrusion was gentle like someone tapping at the window to get your attention. Then if became a pounding like someone wanting to break into a fortress. Harder and harder till tears ran down my eyes from the pain.

At some point I became aware of the barrier. Great in my zeal to lock out Maru I had made a barrier, no one human or youkai could cross it. I could hear Sango banging on it trying to gain entry. How do you let someone in when you don’t know what kind of lock you’ve used. I was stuck. I don’t know if at this point it was minutes or hours that I struggled, finally the door in my mind swung open. I became aware that the pain I felt, Maru felt ten-fold. A picture of him lying outside on the ground with InuYasha and Taisho kneeling on the ground came to me.

I rolled over onto my side. If I could not break this barrier then I would make it move with me. Slowly I walked out of the room, down the long hallway and out to the courtyard. I still had a barrier around me. I walked over to Maru and collapsed by his side. He turned his head to look at me. As slowly as if greatly pained, he reached out one claw hand to me. His thoughts inside my head let me know he never meant to compare me to Kikyo. That this was the only way he knew how to train, exactly as his father had trained him. How hurt he was by my turning my back on him, a symbolization of walking away from the pack.

His Youkai was dominant now. Eyes bleed to crimson let me know he was hanging on by a thread. I rifled through his thoughts on the correct way to end this without bloodshed. I crawled towards him keeping my head down as a sign of submission. When I was close to him I laid down and showed my neck acknowledging his dominance. He was the alpha and although I was alpha bitch he outranked me. I even threw in a whimper to show my sorrow. Maru pulled himself over to me and reached out. I tensed thinking his was going to be purified by the barrier. He growled and I made an effort to relax. His hand surprisingly reached out to me and hauled me into his lap. He nuzzled my hair and neck both to reassure us both and to renew his scent on me. I sighed happy that we were in sync again. Then the bastard nipped me on the ear. I yelped. There is no other word for the sound I made.

“What in the hell was that for? Maru that hurt! Let go of me you big jerk” I struggled out of his embrace. His chest began to vibrate as his body shook. Son of a bitch, he was laughing at me! There is nothing guaranteed to piss me off than knowing my anger was amusing to someone! “I keep forgetting how much you need to need to be taught of Inu society, rules and behavior. What I did was a variation of discipline intended to show you my displeasure at your conduct. You hurt me my little hell cat and I’m not sure what precipitated this whole thing. When you slammed your mental doors shut, it nearly killed me. We are in the process on bonding for eternity Kagome and it will be highly uncomfortable for us to be separated mentally and spiritually. Keep that in mind when you are losing your temper or throwing a how do you say hissy fit”.

I sputtered. I hurt him? “Listen you overgrown fur ball I am not the one who compared you to someone else and found you lacking. I told you how many times your brother held me up to Kikyo only to find me wanting. I truly believed that you saw me for me Kagome, not Kikyo reincarnation, shard hunter or failure miko. Do you want to know why I can’t duplicate the success that InuYasha and Kikyo had? Well too fucking bad I can’t explain why I can’t tap into that power at will. I don’t know why this stupid sword has not aligned itself with me”. Fury and aggravation unlike any I felt before washed through me. I pulled the Tensaiga from its scabbard and pointed it. Suddenly it glowed with Maru’s blue Youkai energy and my pink energy making it a kind of lavender.

Power built up until my vision was a field of lilac. Kami the rush that it gave me as it flowed in my very veins. Maru held me close trying to temper the power. But in my anger and folly I was like wild unpredictable magic. A small part of me knew I had to rein this in before someone was hurt. But the other part, the one that still held the damage inflicted by InuYasha, Kikyo, Naraku, my own powers and the Shikon Jewel didn’t care. Maybe for once someone would feel pan inflicted by me. When that thought, that very foreign idea popped into my head it scared me. Scared me to the point where everything shut down. It was like dosing a small fire with a five gallon bucket of water.

I dropped the sword and rocked myself. I was aware of Maru picking me up walking toward my room, and of the women walking beside us. Midoriko made as if to take me from his arms and I got hysterical. I didn’t want to go with the women. Of everyone only he was aware how close I had rode the line between good and evil. He knew the horror of my soul at what I was about to do. There was no judgment there, simply acceptance. How in the hell did it come to this? One month of training and eleven more to go and already I was losing it? This didn’t look to good for my overall endurance.

“Take me to the garden” I whispered in his ear. He growled low to comfort me. I relaxed in his arms knowing we had a lot to discuss. “Sesshoumaru, before you adjourn to the garden with Kagome I would like to speak to her” said Taisho. I silently begged Maru to say no, all the while knowing I could not put of the inevitable. He nodded his approval and gently placed me on my own two feet. Taisho held his arm out for me to take so he could escort me to the garden.

“Kagome-Sama I must beg your indulgence for a moment. You see this afternoon when Maru barked at you rather harshly during training, well that was my fault. When my eldest was born my reign had not been solidified yet. The Western Land was very much in turmoil. Indeed the moment that Sesshoumaru could pick up a weapon I and several other Senseis’s taught him to fight, to think while fighting, how to exploit an enemy’s weakness and other vital information a Lord must know to win battles”.

“I was not the kindest of instructors and often chastised him for any perceived short comings. I was harsh and demanding and praise was withheld. I thought rightfully that he would push himself to do better especially if compared to someone else and found lacking. When InuYasha came I was at peace and able to see my failures. You see daughter I had raised a strong and proud warrior, who was almost invincible. But I had not raised a loving son, who held affection for me or anybody else besides his mother. As you know before I could reconcile with my son and show him any affection I was killed protecting my second son and mate”.

“Sesshoumaru who at the time was at the beginning of his journey to earn more power saw my sacrifice as stupid and illogical. Maybe deep down inside he was resentful, that he never had that kind of love and affection doled out to him from me. This I cannot say for certain. I will tell you that my son is lucky in having chosen you for a mate. You are kind, loyal and by your very nature loving. Exactly the qualities I would have wished for my son to find in his mate. A word of advice from an old Inu, do not turn your body and back on my son. Do not hide your feelings. He cannot do his utmost to keep you happy if you do not speak your mind. For in this time or any other time that exist; no male has ever un-riddled the complexity of the female mind. Love him as he loves you”.

“If you have a problem getting a move in practice speak to him and try to articulate why you can’t get it. He may be able to figure out a different way of instruction or help you channel your energy differently to achieve the results you want. I know you’re tired of hearing this, but the future really does depend on you my dear. I bid you good night my dear and ask that you reflect upon all that I have said” and with that he patted my hand and walked away.

I waited for Maru to arrive in the garden. Anxiously awaited him wondering if we could reconcile this whole mess and hoping that we could. Without realizing it I had fallen in love with him and the idea of live without him filled me with dread and panic. I shivered not from cold but from nerves. A claw hand grabbed me and spun me around. The welcoming smile I had fell from my face. Of all the faces I expected to see his was not one of them…..oh shit!

Read & Review folks!

Next chapter we get so see how Maru sees his new and improved mate to be. Also how do the changes affect everyone? And will Koga finally see the light?

Japanese Glossary - http://dict.regex.info/cgi-bin/j-e/nocolor/dict.html?SASE=/cgi-bin/j-e/dict

Sumimasen – Sorry, excuse me
Hifuku – clothing
Tentochi – Heaven and earth
Kouseibougyo - attack as a form of defense; attacking (active) defense
Kyowotsuku - to attack the enemy in his unguarded moment
Senseikougeki - preemptive attack (strike)
Shinkou - attack;
Shoumenkougeki- frontal attack
Shukou - main attack
Shuuchuukougeki - (making, launching) concentrated attack (on, against)
Seisui - purity; unselfishness
Datenshi – Fallen angel
Dokkasou - Toxic Flower Claw
Hiraikotsu – Large boomerang used by Sango-chan
Kazaana – Wind Tunnel
Heihoushinan – instruction in martial arts
Shiden - instruction from a master

Shuuchuukougeki -tentochi – heaven and earth strike ( I made this up)