Pink Carnation

Thank you Daniella for beta-reading.

Daffodil: Respect.

Pink Carnation

Chapter 18: Daffodil

"You know we can play this guessing game all night, but eventually you'll have to tell me what's wrong."

Kagome sighed as she dropped her spoon in the freshly opened container of ice cream. "I told you, nothing's wrong."

She had been able to feel Sango's gaze on her for hours now and she had strongly believed that her best friend would eventually get tired of it. Apparently she had guessed wrong. Sango wasn't one to give up. The problem was she wasn't sure if she wanted to tell Sango what happened. She didn't want to cause trouble until she was completely sure.

Or maybe she didn't want to face Sesshomaru just yet.

Sango's eyes opened wide. "Oh. My bad. You're right. You're eating a gallon of ice cream so of course everything is fine."

Kagome popped her lips, before tilting her head to the side. "So maybe there's a little something."

"Shocking."

Kagome resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the obvious use of sarcasm Sango was doing. At this point she had to share with Sango, except she knew the reaction from her friend would be intense. Sango had seemed quite infuriated when she talked about Inuyasha sleeping with Kikyo… what would she say when she would learn that Sesshomaru might have done the same.

All she could do was jump in and say it. "I think Sesshomaru slept with Kikyo."

Sango's lips parted, then closed and then parted again. "You mean Inuyasha."

Kagome shook her head. "I mean Sesshomaru." For a moment it felt as if her voice would break, but she prevented it from happening.

"Sesshomaru and Kikyo?" Sango allowed her own words to echo in her mind for a few seconds. There was no way this was possible. Inuyasha was dirt, and she could see him doing that, but Sesshomaru? He had more class than that didn't he? He had poured his heart and soul into helping Kagome feel better… he wouldn't betray her like that.

"Are you sure?"

To be honest, Kagome had expected Sang to flip. The fact that she doubted that Sesshomaru could do something like that lead Kagome to believe that perhaps she didn't have the full story. If Sango had faith in Sesshomaru, why shouldn't she?

"I was going over to his house after he ignored me. I wanted to tell him about the kiss with Inuyasha when-"

"STOP!" screamed Sango, stretching her hands forward. "The kiss with Inuyasha?"

Oh. Right she hadn't told Sango about that. Kagome felt like smacking herself on the forehead; she hadn't even begun to explain the whole mess with Sesshomaru that now she had to go into detail about the one she shared with Inuyasha. Frankly, she would love nothing more than to forget the kiss of death he had given her. She could still feel her lips burning.

"Inuyasha came over to my apartment and he kissed me. There's not much to it. He was annoyed because I wouldn't respond to his advances and he got desperate."

Sango felt a fury storm inside of her. Hadn't Inuyasha done enough to ruin Kagome's life? "What did you do?"

She knew Kagome was smart and wouldn't even think of going back to Inuyasha, but there was this little chance that… maybe…. No. She wouldn't do that.

"At first I didn't do anything, I just…I didn't know what to do. Then, I tried to push him, but he wouldn't let me. It took me a while, but I eventually pushed him away."

She could still feel his arms holding her still as she had tried to force him off. Kagome was aware that Inuyasha wouldn't have taken it further than a kiss, but she didn't feel comfortable with the fact that he forced himself on her. He had been so different in the past; what had happened to him? It had to be more than just Kikyo that transformed him into a new person.

"I'm gonna kick his ass," said Sango as she tightened her grip on her spoon.

Kagome shook her head. "I just don't want him in my life anymore Sango. Let it go, I think he understood this time."

I wouldn't be so sure. Sango would pretend she agreed with Kagome's words, but she would still have a little talk with Inuyasha later on. She thought everything had been made clear the first time, but he had no shame and didn't care what he had to do to get his way. Now that she was thinking about it, he and Kikyo truly were a perfect match.

"What did you see when you went to Sesshomaru's house?" asked Sango, bringing the subject back on track.

Kagome took a deep breath; the meeting was still vivid in her mind. "On my way to his house, I ran into Kikyo who was coming out of it."

The trust Sango had in Sesshomaru decreased a bit, as she heard the words Kagome had to say. Still, it almost felt hard to believe. Kikyo was the cheapest kind of whore there was, even he could do better even if he wanted a one night stand. She desired nothing more than to provide Kagome with comfort, but she was stunned.

"She told me they slept together."

Sango shook her head. "No. I mean, you're really going to believe her?" Kikyo was known to be a sneaky bitch when she wanted to get her way.

"She knew what his bedroom looked like."

Perhaps that alone was the only fact why she believed Kikyo. Other than that, she would have dismissed it as lies. Alright, perhaps she would have had some doubts, but nothing terrible. Now, all she could think of was Kikyo and Sesshomaru in that pure white room… together.

Granted she herself had only been in it once, but still.

Yes, she didn't have much of a strong relationship with Sesshomaru yet, but the kiss. Or maybe it was the fact that some times her own feelings her unknown to her. Whatever the reason, thinking about him not being in her life did not feel right. "I guess Sesshomaru can easily go from kissing one person to another."

Sango lifted her hot chocolate cup, bringing it to her lips. "Who else did he kiss?"

"Me."

Sango never choked on the sip going down her throat, but managed to let it slip down. "He kissed you? When?"

Kagome seriously needed to get back into girl talk, because now with everything going on it felt like they hadn't talk in forever. One thing was for sure; Kagome didn't have a shortage of men wanting to woo her.

"The day before I found out about Kikyo."

It was no mystery that Sesshomaru had been in love with Kagome for a while. Though, he had never acted on it, and frankly Sango hadn't expected him to do it now. Maybe he had waited for too long and he hadn't been able to stop himself. Though one question was left; why would he hook up with Kikyo if he finally kissed Kagome?

"What did you do?"

"I kissed him back- I think. But then, I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say."

Had Sesshomaru kissed her because of who she was, or had he kissed her because of the memories they shared together? It was an annoying question that kept coming back over and over again, but she couldn't let it go. Apparently Sesshomaru had thought about it, hence why he might have gone with Kikyo.

Maybe he only liked the girl then not the girl now.

Sango sighed as she put her cup down. Even heartbroken, she couldn't see Sesshomaru doing something that stupid. Granted she didn't know him the best, but still. Kikyo? It felt like such a low thing to do. Even hiring a professional to satisfy his need wasn't as pathetic. Maybe they were missing something there.

"Well, you know, he was in love with you for a long time."

Kagome arched an eyebrow. "I thought we were friends?"

Sango shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah. I mean everyone knew he was in love with you, except for you."

Perhaps she had been right then. Maybe the kiss had just been leftover of the feelings he used to have.

"He did save your life."

Kagome couldn't help but frown. "He what?"

Sango wasn't sure if she should be telling Kagome all this. After all, it wasn't her place to do so but she couldn't really keep it to herself. "I don't exactly know what happened but something happened to you after you found out about Inuyasha and Kikyo." Sango took a deep breath. "All I know is that when Sesshomaru found you, you were soaking wet and practically covered in blood."

"Why don't you know more?"

"You never told anyone and neither did he. I only know that because I saw your clothes of that night."

Kagome wasn't really worried about the soaked part, but the fact that she been covered in blood was intriguing. What had she done, or what had happened to her? Frustration took over as she realized that there was only one person who could give her an answer and apparently they were not talking right now. There was no way she could go see him, not currently.

Instead, she'd have to wait and be left with a mystery about herself.

-P-

"What in the world is wrong with you?"

Sango came barging through Sesshomaru's door looking mighty angry. Kagura was behind her trying to stop her, but it was to no avail. Sango stopped once she reached the desk and crossed her arms in front of her chest. No, she didn't know if he had done anything, but once the full conversation between Kagome and Kikyo had been told to her, she had felt quite raging. Maybe her anger was directed more towards Kikyo but since she couldn't find her, Sesshomaru would do.

Plus she had promised herself she would investigate this and keep it from Kagome, so she wouldn't upset her. It was harder to be angry in front of her friend since Kagome would tell her not to do it, or that she would deal with it. Frankly though, she had been through enough and Sango didn't mind kicking as few asses for her.

After a whole afternoon of remaining calm and collected, it was now time to obtain some answers.

"I'm sorry Mister Taisho I tried to keep her out."

"No, it's fine Kagura. Return to your desk."

"Yes, Mister Taisho," said Kagura before slightly bowing. Before leaving, she glared in Sango's direction while her eyes filled with hatred.

Clearly that girl had no manners or she would have known better than to just barge into Sesshomaru's office like she owned it. Sesshomaru should not be so polite with her just because she was friends with that annoying brat. Though, Kagura was rather pleased that for a few days, there hadn't been any calls to Kagome's house or from her.

Perhaps things were slowly fixing themselves.

"What is it that is wrong with me?" he asked arching an eyebrow.

"You know what I'm talking about."

"I'm afraid I don't."

Sango rolled her eyes. "Kikyo. Does that ring a bell?"

His facial features dropped a bit, but he kept himself collected. "I wasn't aware you still spoke with Inuyasha."

Confusion took over Sango. "Inuyasha? What are you talking about?"

"I assume he is the one who told you such tale."

She shook her head. "No I heard it from Kagome."

Sesshomaru felt his heart squeeze for a second, but he didn't allow that to crack his mask. He hadn't expected Inuyasha to share all of that information with Kagome just yet. He was aware that they might have thislittle thing going on, but he didn't think his brother would fully go through with it.

"She heard it from Kikyo. Not Inuyasha," said Sango before he could speak.

At first she had thought that Sesshomaru was aware both women had spoken, but since he had seemed perplexed it became obvious he had no idea what was going on. Though according to what he said, Inuyasha was up to current news, and that wasn't something Sango liked. Somehow, she knew he could manage to use it to hurt Kagome, thinking he would win her back.

Kikyo? Kikyo? That did not make any sense! Did she go to Kagome's apartment and make up some foolish lie about something that did not happen? He had kicked Kikyo out… a part of him wanting to spare Kagome's feelings. Why is it that it was blowing up in his face?

"How?"

"What do you mean?"

"How did they speak to one another?"

Sango shrugged slightly. "Kagome was going to your house yesterday morning and she saw Kikyo coming out."

Yesterday morning? Kikyo had been gone way be- Of course. He knew exactly what kind of person Kikyo was and just how far she could push it. The thing he couldn't figure out was how she knew Kagome was going to come over. Had she waited there in hope that she would? Was she truly that pathetic? Though right now he was not any better.

Well now, he had nothing left to worry about did he? Inuyasha knew, Sango knew, and most importantly, Kagome knew. Sesshomaru found himself a bit speechless, not knowing what to tell Sango. He could tell by the way she was glaring down at him that she wanted an answer and that it had better be the right one.

Unfortunately there was no right one.

"What do you wish to hear from me?"

"Don't you have anything to say? Don't you feel like an ass for what you did to Kagome? Don't you want to deny it?"

"Kikyo wasn't at my house in the morning, or at night."

Sango arched an eyebrow. "So it's not true?" She wouldn't let him get out of it that easily. He would have to do more than just say that.

"I did bring her home."

For an instant, Sango felt her heart sank. "So you slept with that?"

He shook his head. "I sent her back. I didn't do anything with her."

Sango slightly nodded her head. "So you are telling me that all you did was bring her home, only to send her back and somehow she was there in the morning when Kagome came to see you?"

Sesshomaru nodded. "I care very little if you believe me or not."

"I'm apparently the only one who believed you didn't do it at the beginning."

"Kagome believes it?"

"What do you think?"

Of course, what reason would she have to keep having faith in him? Though, she hadn't been a complete angel either. "I doubt it matters. She seems to have her hands rather full with Inuyasha."

It was now Sango's turn to be confused. "Inuyasha? What does he have to do with this?"

"I thought they were back together."

Sango couldn't help but laugh in disbelief. "Kagome and Inuyasha back together? When in the seven hells would that happen?"

"That same day."

"You think she is stupid enough to go back to him? I thought you were supposed to know her better than everyone?"

Sango did want to say that she was Kagome's best friend, but back then, Sesshomaru had been that person. Apparently though, he didn't know the first thing about her anymore and it was almost heart breaking. How could he have such a bad opinion of her? Kagome might devote herself to the ones she loved, but she wasn't that stupid.

"They were kissing. One can interpret that as love."

"Not when one person is trying to break free of the other's hold. But I guess you didn't hear or see the part where she pushed him away, yelled and slammed a door on his face."

No, he hadn't.

"I wasn't aware that such thing happened."

Sango scoffed. "Of course you weren't. I guess you were so sucked into your own world. Because she didn't say anything after you kissed her, you thought she'd kiss him out of her own free will?"

It appeared that Kagome had shared a lot of information with Sango. All of that together didn't stop his heart from being up in his throat. He couldn't remember any sign of Kagome fighting, but then again he had been quite upset. Surely Sango wouldn't say it if it wasn't true. On top of that he knew she wouldn't let Kagome go back to Inuyasha.

It seemed like the feeling he had experience previously, the one of guilt was right. He had indeed betrayed her for nothing. He felt like collapsing inside and he was barely holding shape in front of Sango. What in the world would he do? Kagome knew about this and she thought that much more happened then what truly did.

"I did."

He wouldn't lie. He thought very little of Kagome apparently.

Sango sighed, as she walked in direction of the nearest seat. "So, how are you gonna fix it?"

"Fix it?"

"If Inuyasha knows about this, you know what he's going to do. You made this mess, so you better fix it."

He wanted to argue, but he couldn't. It was the truth; he had begun all of this. If he had simply waited and came back to talk to Kagome, none of this would have happened. It wasn't like him to act so harshly and do things without thinking. Then again, Kagome brought all kinds of emotions inside of him. When it came to her, he never acted the same.

"I do not know." It was all he could say. He had never been in a situation like this before, thus he did not know what to do.

Would she have to do everything? Sango tilted her head back, pondering. "Then you'll have to figure it out."

She rose to her feet, heading for the door. "I still hate you for bringing her to your place. But at least you had some decency left in you."

He nodded, not sure if she was insulting him or complimenting him.

Sango grabbed the edge of the door, tapping her fingers against it. "What happened to Kagome that night?"

"If she ever remembers, ask her."

Sango chuckled before disappearing behind the door and closing it on her way out.

Sesshomaru's perfect stance dropped as a rush of emotions overcame him. He was screwed. He had completely betrayed the one person he had ever cared about and he didn't have to first clue about how to make it right.

-P-

All she could hear was the sound of a knock echoing through her brain. It took Kagome a few seconds to realize that she was asleep. She forced her eyes open and glanced around extremely confused. It was as the banging continued that she peered in direction of the door. She made it on her feet as best she could and headed for the door.

She dragged her feet until she reached the knob and grabbed it. She didn't even think of who could be behind the door as she opened it. It was then that she regretted it. In front of her was Inuyasha and it felt too much like déjà-vu.

Her sleepiness seemed to leave her as she frowned. "I told you not to come back," she said ready to shut the door on his face once more.

It was then that he put his hand in the way, preventing her from closing the door. "Hear me out for a second."

"No."

Whatever he had to say to her, it was poison and she didn't want any part of it. There was enough trouble and confusion in her life, and she didn't need to add to it.

"It's important."

He had pondered everything Sesshomaru had said, but had decided he didn't care. Everything his older brother had said was to protect his own ass and Inuyasha wouldn't keep the truth from Kagome. Especially since now she would see that even the people she thought were perfect made mistakes.

Though he had to admit, he was still angry with Sesshomaru. Why did he have to go after all of his women? Wasn't he man enough to get his own?

Kagome sighed but gave in. She still kept the door nearly closed, but she leaned forward ready to listen. "What is it?"

"Can't I come in?"

"No."

He would have to take what she was willing to give him. Inuyasha was already happy that she was talking to him since she had seemed quite upset last time he visited. At least he knew that the news he had to share with her would make her feel better towards him.

"Sesshomaru slept with Kikyo."

There were perhaps a more tactful way to do this, but he felt that going straight to the point was the way to go. He kept the smirk from appearing on his lips, since he knew she would be a bit upset, and he didn't want her thinking he was enjoying her pain. He was however enjoying his older brother's pain.

Kagome felt her heart crack just a bit, but she put up a strong face. So everyone knew about it. "I know."

Inuyasha was unable to hold back his expression of surprise. "What?"

"You think you're the only one who knows. I found out." What Sesshomaru did hurt, but what Inuyasha was currently doing was worse. "What? You thought you would make me feel better by telling me this?"

He stammered a bit, not able to find the right words. "I just…I thought you should know."

"No," she said while tightening her hold on the knob. "You thought it would make you look better. Well guess what, it doesn't. Sesshomaru is not dating me, you were."

Kagome gathered all of her strength and slammed the door before quickly pressing her back against it. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she fought tears from rolling down her cheeks. She allowed herself to slide down until she reached the floor. She buried her face in her knees, praying for some relief to wash over.

But it never came.

She did believe in her own words; what Inuyasha did was worse. No, it didn't make up for the betrayal she felt from Sesshomaru, but it was a fact. Her heart was pounding so hard it was almost bringing her pain, but she managed to make it back on her feet. She wouldn't allow this to hurt her in such a manner. She had shed way too many tears already.

Sesshomaru wasn't the man she thought he was. Situations like that happened more than once. She lifted her hand and pressed her fingers against her lips. Maybe if that event had turned out differently, so would have everything else.

But to be honest, she still didn't know how to return his feelings because she didn't know what she felt.

She had given up on trying to be who she was, and on trying to remember but it didn't change the fact that at that precise moment, she wanted to know what brought them together in the first place. What twist of fate put her on his path and vice versa? It was so easy to think they were different, yet so many times she had felt similarities.

She only wished for one memory back, nothing more. Her heart sunk as she grazed her fingertips against the wall while slowly making her way back to the living room. The whole story had been shared with the world, yet the two main people involved in it had yet to talk. Kagome would not be the one to make the first move however. She had already tried to contact Sesshomaru and he hadn't answered.

If he wished to speak with her, then he would have to be the one to make the effort. She was tired of being the one out there, putting her feelings down for everyone to step on them.

There was still the small hope that Sesshomaru hadn't done what everyone seemed to say he had done. If he truly wished to prove he hadn't, he would come up and say it. She had known him to be blunt and brutally honest and she didn't think he'd be ashamed of what he did. After all he knew what was involved in getting with Kikyo. If he did it, he was ready to accept the consequences.

Kami, she hoped he didn't do it.

Yet, Inuyasha knew about it.

Her faith in him just kept diminishing.

-P-

How in the world was he supposed to do this? Actually, the first question should be would she even open the door for him? He had spent hours trying to think of the proper way to explain what happened to her, yet he had come up with absolutely nothing.

He could apologize but that wouldn't erase anything he did. On top of that he still didn't know how she felt. Sesshomaru was also aware that these were not reasons to ignore the problem and remain far from her. The longer it took, the further she would go from him. That would lead him to eventually lose her.

If there was hope, he had to take it.

Granted, he had screwed up terribly. He hated himself for his lack of faith in her. Hadn't she always been the one person he trusted? But what he had seen with his eyes right after their own kiss… perhaps it had clouded his judgment. It still didn't excuse what he did though.

Sesshomaru could do nothing but take a deep breath while he raised his hand and prepared to knock. He didn't know how bad the damage was, but he had a feeling that as soon as she opened that door, he would know. He pressed his lips tightly together for an instant prior to knocking on the door twice and then waited.

If she didn't ask who was at the door before opening it, then perhaps he would have a chance.

"Inuyasha, if it's you… you better be gone by the time I open the door."

Sesshomaru closed his eyes, cursing. It appeared that his little brother had been stupid enough to come by and share everything with Kagome. That also reminded him that he had a bone to pick with him. When they had talked the previous day, Inuyasha had been quick to jump in and say he was back with Kagome. Of course his brother was a first class liar, so it was normal that it came to him so easily.

He heard her grab the doorknob and his heart began beating just a bit faster. Slowly, as if to torture him, she opened the door and peeked outside. It quickly became evident on her face that he was not the silver haired man she thought she would find. She appeared ready to speak, but no words came out of her mouth. It was then that he decided to talk first.

"I have to talk to you."

She was torn between closing the door and pretending and never came, and allowing him inside her house. It took her a few seconds, but she decided this matter needed to be cleared up now. She had enough stuff going on and she didn't want to drag this around longer then it had to be. Still, her heart skipped a beat.

"Come on in," she said, moving out of the way.

Sesshomaru couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, surprised that she had allowed him in so easily. It was a nice first step, but he was well aware that the next ones wouldn't go as smoothly. He nodded as a gesture of gratitude and walked inside. He heard her close the door behind him but afterwards she stopped moving.

"You can sit."

She wasn't used to feeling this awkward around him and she didn't like it. Even when she barely remembered anything about him she had felt like she could be open and honest because he understood. Where had that gone?

Sesshomaru decided not to go in the living room, and kept to the kitchen. He sat down on the first chair he reached and patiently waited for her to join him. In his mind he was still trying to figure out what he would tell her. How could he explain his behavior? Surely telling her that he saw her kiss Inuyasha wouldn't make it all better.

Why had he been so stupid back then? Even interrupting them would have led him to find out the truth. Then again, he had never had his feelings hurt before because he hadn't allowed himself to get close enough to someone for such thing to happen. Even if she didn't believe it, he was still very uneasy during social interactions.

She was the only one who made it so easy.

Kagome slowly dragged her feet and sat across from him. She wasn't sure if she should be the first to speak, but quickly answered herself when she was reminded that he was the one who came to her. Obviously he had something to say, and she would not interrupt his train of thought. She would wait.

"I was made aware that you know."

"Know what?" Perhaps it was mean to pretend she was unaware, but she wanted him to say it. She needed to hear it from him. She was sick and tired of hearing storytelling done by other people.

Of course, she wouldn't make it easy. Then again, he deserved it. "About me and Kikyo."

"I know you were with her at some point. I don't know what happened." She was surprised that she could prevent her voice from cracking. Especially considering the topic they were beginning to talk about.

Frankly she didn't want to know everything he did with Kikyo. All she needed to know was if he did what everyone claimed. Rumors were a nasty thing. Her heart sunk a bit, as she watched him trying to find his word, and she kept praying he wouldn't say what she thought he would. Considering everything that happened, it was hard to look at him or even believe in him.

What she couldn't figure out was what pushed him to do what he did. Just because she hadn't said anything after he kissed her he had run into the arms of Kikyo out of all people?

"Nothing."

She wanted to feel relief wash over her, but she couldn't. There was a reason there was this idea that he slept with Kikyo running around and it wasn't for nothing. Something had to have happened or they wouldn't be having that conversation.

"Nothing? So why did I run into her?"

"Because she was at my house."

"What happened there?"

He knew she would just keep asking questions and there was obviously no way around it for him. He had to share the full story, which would put him on her bad side, but it was better than her hating him for something he hadn't done. Plus, it wasn't as if she wasn't aware of his feelings for her. Though he wished she wouldn't think he was that petty.

"I came to see you, and found you kissing Inuyasha."

Her heart dropped. "He kissed me."

"I found out about that yesterday." And if he had known, he would have avoided all of this, "But, I did not know. I left before the facts."

"So you ran into Kikyo's arms?"

"Not exactly." He sighed heavily. "I ran into her at the bar, and she kept talking. I don't know what I was thinking. I brought her over and then, before anything happened, I ordered her to leave."

"So why was she there in the morning when I came over?"

She was trying to prevent the tears from falling while she kept on a strong face. Her mind felt dizzy and she didn't know if she believed what he said or not. It seemed convenient, but then again, why would he lie at this point? She had already been hurt and had heard the story more than once. All he could be was truthful.

"I truly have no clue. I sent her off at night. Perhaps she stayed around, hoping you would come. I do have camera surveillance for the outside of my house. You can verify if you wish."

She had no choice but to believe that part. All Kagome could do was nod, trying to think of what she could tell him. Her heart still hurt and it left her speechless. Did it make it better that he didn't actually sleep with her? Didn't it erase the pain of him going for Kikyo in the first place? She wasn't sure.

"Why her? Why couldn't it be someone else?"

That time, Sesshomaru heard her voice crack and it killed him. He wasn't supposed to be the one to bring her pain. "Because for the first time I was weak. And I didn't even put up a fight."

It was hurtful but bluntly honest; she had to give him that. At least unlike Inuyasha he hadn't tried to keep it from her. Yes, he had avoided her for a couple of days, but there had seemed to be a bit of confusion surrounding everything. She appreciated the honesty though it didn't take the pain away.

"At least you told me. I know where we stand."

"I still meant what I did that day."

"I know."

Sesshomaru quickly nodded, realizing he wouldn't obtain forgiveness or hint of what she was feeling now. "I thought you should know from me instead of someone else."

He wasn't ready to give up on her, but he had hurt her. It was her place to decide if she wanted him in her life or not. He sighed heavily as he reached out for something in his pocket. He pulled out an enveloped, which had already been open, and put it down on the table. He pushed it a in her direction before rising to his feet.

"I can't give you back everything that you lost, but I think this is one memory you should have back."

He watched the surprise appear on her face as she glanced down at the envelope.

"This helped me. It changed me. I still don't know why I stopped that day, or why I brought you back to my house, but I did. I thought it would be the end of it, and then this came," he said pointing at the envelope.

"You don't remember who I am, or what happened. But this girl, the one who wrote the letter didn't know either."

Maybe this was a desperate attempt; maybe it was to help her. All her memories of the last year had been taken away from her and this was one he could give back. The rest was perhaps too personal or things he didn't want to be the one to tell her.. This one was a happy one, thus he was happy to return it to her.

He had kept that letter for a long time and he never thought he would part from it.

Perhaps she needed it more than he did.

Sesshomaru glanced at her one last time before tearing himself away from her. His eyes were locked on the door as he let himself out. Kagome remained sitting down, not even knowing where to look. She wanted to get up, grab the letter and rush to the door but she couldn't.

She remained glued to her seat, left to wonder what was in that letter that he thought it was important for her to have. Her heart dropped to her stomach and she closed her eyes, finally allowing a few tears to escape her for the first time in a few days.

Why did she have to be so confused?

-P-