Knot Good
Inuyasha groaned when the white phone mounted on the wall by the light switch rang. The extension was used only when the receptionists in the lobby called to inform them that they had visitors who were waiting for them downstairs, or going up to their apartment.
“Dammit,” he swore. “Move, Sesshomaru.”
The elder of the two obeyed at once, and the pair shuffled towards the phone to answer the call.
“What is it?” Inuyasha grumbled into the receiver.
“Mr Souga?” came the friendly voice of the junior receptionist. “There’s a courier here from Ookami Corporation with a parcel for the elder Mr Souga that needs to be signed for.”
“You sign for it, then,” the hanyou told her.
“I’m afraid I can’t, sir,” came the apologetic reply. “It seems to be one of those confidential packages that must be delivered directly into the hands of the recipient. I hope Mr Daitaro is in?”
“Yeah, he’s
in all right.”
“Would he prefer to come downstairs to sign for the package, or shall I send the courier upstairs?”
“We can’t go downstairs right now,” Inuyasha grunted. “Send the courier up.”
“Yes, sir.”
Inuyasha slapped the phone back onto its cradle and turned his head to glare at Sesshomaru the best he could. “Idiot. You and your bloody inu instincts.”
“And what fine instincts they are,” Sesshomaru murmured into one furry ear.
“Sick bastard.”
“Let’s keep moving.”
But they were only halfway across the living room by the time the buzzer on the intercom sounded.
Inuyasha moaned again, then roared out to the man on the other side of the door: “All right, coming!”
***
The worker from Ookami Corporation thought his big boss Koga and his collection of cronies were weird, with their peculiarly territorial behaviour, tendency to growl like dogs when annoyed with someone, and their suspiciously secretive and pack-like behaviour when they were together, away from the lower-hierarchy employees.
But this was a lot weirder.
Mr Daitaro Souga, the intended recipient of the package he had been instructed to deliver, was now signing for it – while peering awkwardly round the front door of the penthouse, and resting the clipboard on the head of the younger Mr Souga, who was also peering awkwardly round the door, albeit from lower down.
“Is everything all right, sirs?” the courier asked. “Koga-san did also ask me to give you his regards.”
“We’re fine,” the younger of the two infamous Souga brothers grunted. “We’re just – doing – uhm... yoga. Very advanced yoga.”
“Of course,” said the man. “I shall let Koga-san know. Good day.”
The door closed in his face, and he left, racking his brains for suitable words to describe the oddness of the brothers’ behaviour, if Koga-san should happen to ask him later.
***
“You prick. It’s all your fault. Now he’s going to tell Koga what he saw, and Koga’s going to
know what happened!”
“You don’t think he was convinced by your ‘advanced yoga’ excuse?”
“NOTHING in advanced yoga looks like someone fucking someone else in the rear and GETTING STUCK!!” Inuyasha howled.
“This is not ‘getting stuck’, you inexperienced tyke. This is knotting. It’s what dogs do.”
“It’s not what dog DEMONS do, you screwed-up moron!”
“Apparently, I am highly unusual,” Sesshomaru gloated, kissing Inuyasha’s back.
“Bloody hell, Sesshomaru, we’ve been stuck for one whole day!” the hanyou snapped, trying to jerk his upper body away from the taiyoukai’s lips.
“I promised you two weeks of this, remember?”
“Two weeks?!?
Someone’s asking to have his dick cut off with a bloody steak knife,” Inuyasha growled, dragging Sesshomaru towards the kitchen.
Sesshomaru hauled him back by the waist. “We are
not going near any steak knives,” he stated.
“No? I’ll settle for a fucking
butter knife at this point!” Inuyasha hollered, dragging his brother towards the kitchen again. “Let’s see how you like me slowly sawing through that damn tool millimetre by millimetre–”
“I’m much too
hard to be cut through with a butter knife, or even a steak knife, Yasha, and you know it,” Sesshomaru grunted, dragging him again in the opposite direction.
“Then I’m getting the bloody
cleaver!” Inuyasha snarled, tugging towards the kitchen once more.
To his surprise, Sesshomaru went along this time.
“Do you really want to go into the kitchen so badly, little brother?” Sesshomaru asked. “Very well, I shall permit that, especially since I am a little hungry after all my exertions, and would not mind frying an omelette for a snack.”
“W-w-wait, why – ouch – why the hell are we going to the
gas stove?” Inuyasha yelped. “The convection one’s working just fine –”
Inuyasha almost jumped out of his skin when Sesshomaru turned the gas on and clicked the lighter gun against the ring, making the circle of flames leap to life.
“Hey – watch where you’re pushing my head down to – bloody hell, Sesshomaru! The flames are too close –
ow!
Hot! My ears! My ears!!”
“Ah, so you
don’t want to be in the kitchen now, do you?” the taiyoukai asked facetiously. “Very well, I don’t need to eat eggs at the moment. We can always have them later.”
“I am SO cutting your prick off!” Inuyasha yelled, swiping frantically at the block of knives on the counter, only to be steered away from them by Sesshomaru.
“None of those knives will do it, Yasha, and you know it,” Sesshomaru grunted, dragging him out of the kitchen. “You’ll need Tetsusaiga to slice through me, but I’m not leaving you any room to slip that oversized blade between your delectable bottom and my hips.”
With that, Sesshomaru pushed even further in.
“
Damn you, Sessh...!” Inuyasha hissed.
“You can’t push me out, Yasha.”
The hanyou was gripping the edge of the dining table now, gritting his teeth, and realising that he could not indeed push Sesshomaru out. But maybe... just maybe... His grimace turned into a grin as he turned his head partially to look at the taiyoukai.
“So you’re staying in?” he demanded.
“I’ve knotted. There is little I can do about that right now, which is perfectly fine with me,” the dog demon replied.
“Fine. Then stay in. And
enjoy yourself. I’ve decided that there’s nothing else for it but to give you a really good,
snug time.”
With that, the hanyou started clenching his butt muscles, slowly increasing the pressure at first, but soon tightening up so much with his half-demon strength that Sesshomaru’s pleasure turned to mild discomfort. The younger one wasn’t done, though. He had never squeezed so hard before, but he kept going, until he received the satisfaction of a grunt, then something very like a gasp, from the demon behind him. And even then, he continued crushing the invasive part of the taiyoukai’s anatomy until the mirror on the wall behind the dining table reflected Sesshomaru’s face, turning a shade red.
“You want in? You
got in!” Inuyasha growled, upping the pressure another notch.
“Damn it, Inuyasha – stop!” were the words that finally exploded from Sesshomaru’s mouth.
“Stop? Oh no, no way. I’m fucking castrating you right here and right now by squeezing your dick paper-thin, you prick!” Inuyasha grunted, applying more muscle power.
“I said stop!” Sesshomaru growled.
“Not till you’ve bloody unknotted!”
“It’s not as if I can just reach inside and untie something, you fool!”
“Then I’m squeezing that bloody knot
flat!”
“Inuyasha – don’t – ahhhh – all right, all right – it’s going down!”
“It better be, or I’m
closing this hole to a pinprick.”
“It’s going
down, I said!” Sesshomau hissed.
“Hurry it up.”
“This is not macramé. I can speed things up only so far.”
“Fine,” Inuyasha grumbled, as he loosened up a bit.
“Patience,” Sesshomaru snapped.
“Right, right,” Inuyasha muttered, tapping his fingers on the dining table during the tense silence of the next three minutes, before eventually deciding to distract himself by asking about the object resting on that table. “What did Koga send you, anyway?”
“He did say he would be sending me some confidential documents about the joint venture,” Sesshomaru said tightly, distracting himself from the physical discomfort by reaching for the parcel and slicing the tape open with a claw.
What he saw inside was not documents, however, but an assortment of stationery.
“That empty-headed ookami has sent us the wrong package,” the taiyoukai bit out. “His skull is obviously full of styrofoam.”
Inuyasha was about to agree, when Sesshomaru unknotted at last, and slid free. The half-demon winced at the soreness in his behind, but when he turned around, he managed to raise a grin because he could see Sesshomaru doing his dignified best not to clutch at his privates, which surely had to be in agony.
“So? Is it flat yet?” Inuyasha asked wickedly, trying to raise the hem of Sesshomaru’s shirt to see if what was under it was well and truly crushed.
“Don’t touch me,” Sesshomaru growled.
“Oooh, so it
is flat, huh?” Inuyasha taunted, reaching into Koga’s box and pulling out a stapler. “Looks like Styrofoam Brain’s stationery is gonna come in useful after all, because I am going to put that flattened thing well and truly away by stapling it to your balls!”
“Keep that thing away from me.”
“Don’t like the idea? How about I tie it into a
real knot instead, big brother? I don’t just cuss like a sailor – I can fucking knot things like one too...”
“Inuyasha, don’t you dare.”
“...though I daresay it won’t look as pretty in a reef knot as it will in a simple bow. How about that, Sesshomaru? Just hand over that flat little rope now...”
“Inuyasha...”
“Oh, wait a minute – we can’t tie any cute bows unless I have both ends free – which means I’ll have to CUT the bloody thing off first, which should solve ALL my problems!” Inuyasha roared, lunging at Sesshomaru with a wild-eyed look which gave even the taiyoukai a turn.
For once in his life, the elder of the two dog demons decided that discretion was the better part of valour. He flew into the bedroom, where he scooped up both the Bakusaiga and the Tetsusaiga and shoved them into the wardrobe, which he prepared himself to defend with his life. Inuyasha could wave the Tenseiga about all he pleased, he didn’t care. But either of the two offensive weapons now in the closet could potentially hack off parts of his anatomy.
Everything currently attached to his body was staying put.
Nothing was to be cut off.
Because he would be damned if he was going to spend the next few years regrowing assorted bits and pieces of flesh and bone – and, of course, boners.
=================
Note: In case anyone has been wondering if the aliases used by the characters in this fic have any particular significance, well yes, they do, although at least one of them is ironic.
“Souga”, the surname adopted by the brothers in this modern age, means “twin fangs” (I think all Inuyasha fans know what that alludes to); “Daitaro”, Sesshomaru’s alias, means “Great First Son” (no self-esteem issues there); and “Keiji”, Inuyasha’s alias, means “Respectful Second Son” (no prizes for guessing that as the ironic one!).
