A Love That Never Was

Author’s note: I’m not sure what I’m enjoying more, writing my story or reading your reviews. You guys rock!

Disclaimer: Still don’t own Inuyasha whoever figures out how gets a cookie!

The girls sat around the living room, lounging in varying states of pajamas, ranging from Val in a t-shirt and sweat pants to Chris in a sports bra and cut off shorts. Kat stood up to get some more pizza while Chris stood on the couch and regaled them with the story of date the night before.

“And so, she took me back to her place and let me tell you, she practically ripped that dress off me. Don’t worry Kat,” she said, “It is still in perfect condition. I checked this morning.”

“You are such a fricking slut sometimes Chris, you know that,” said Sakura, smiling to take away the harshness of her words. Chris grinned and lifted her head proudly.

“I’m not a slut, I’m just…healthy,” she responded to resounding groans from the others.

“Oh healthy, is that what they call it on the street corners now?” asked Val as she shoved Chris over knocking down onto the couch. The two girls grinned at each other for a minute before Chris whacked her with a pillow. Val grinned good-naturedly and leaned back.

“I can’t help it if I had an incredible evening…and night and morning.” The other girls burst into giggles as Kat walked back over to her spot on the couch.

“Speaking of mornings,” said Val mischievously, “Someone here seemed to be having a very good morning today.”

“Yeah really,” said Stacy. “If I didn’t know better, I would say that our little Kat was about to be getting very healthy. Well at least until we walked in.” Kat glared at Stacy as her face flushed red.

“Are you telling me that you were about to finally break your vows of chastity and these two numbskulls walked in? Why are they still breathing?” cried out Chris in horror.

“They are completely exaggerating,” said Kat grumpily. “Nothing was happening.”

“Oh please,” said Val. “We walked into the rooms while those two were doing their damndest impression at a human pretzel that I’d ever seen. The only thing missing from the picture, or well actually that wasn’t missing were their clothes.”

“It wasn’t like that. It was…intense. He makes me feel,” she sighed. “He makes me feel like I’m some amazing desert and he’s planning to savor every taste of it as slowly as possible in order not miss anything.” Everyone stared at her. “What?”

“Kit Kat, that has to be the only time I have heard talk about someone and sound horny at the same time. I know you sae hae hasn’t even kissed you yet, but your voice sounds like the voice of a woman who has been well fucked and isn’t done yet,” said Val. The others nodded in agreement.

“Is it just sexual?” asked Sakura, worriedly. “Those kinds of things have a habit of falling apart fast.”

“No it’s not just sexual. He’s…he’s like an addiction. But it’s not just his body. It’s everything he says, everything he does. I could watch him for hours and he doesn’t even have to move. I hear him talk and it doesn’t matter if he’s telling me the sky is purple. I just want to hear more. It’s like he’s a trip to Europe and every other guy I’ve dated has been a ride at an amusement park. I know how retarded I must sound, but he’s just that amazing. It feels like we’re rushing, but it just feels so right.” She stopped finally aware of the shocked look no her friends faces.

“Holy shit,” said Val “I recognize that look. That’s the same look Sakura walked around with when she met Jack.” The other girls nodded.

“I’ve never seen you look this happy,” said Stacy. “Or this sexually frustrated.” Sakura lightly smacked Stacy in the back of the head.

“You have such a one track mind,” she scolded. “Kit Kat, are you in love with him?”

“I don’t know,” she said softly. “I thought was in love with Mike, but compared to this, I feel like I was teenager with a crush.”

“I’ve just got one question,” said Chris. “Why don’t the sex scenes in your books ever sound that good?” They all burst into laughter and eventually settled down to go to sleep.

Kat waited until she was sure that everyone else was asleep. She stood up as quietly as she could and started to tip toe out of the room.

“You’re not fooling any of us, you know,” said Sakura softly. Kat nearly jumped and out of her skin and then turned to look guiltily at her friend.

“I was just-“ Sakura cut her off.

“You were just going up to your room to sleep because you don’t want us to see you having those nightmares.”

“I just don’t want to wake you guys up.”

“Kat, you should know by now that we don’t mind.”

“But I do. Good night, Sakura.” With that she headed up to her room.

She sat in the clearing leaning against the well. He stood next to her, but she refused to look at him this time. She didn’t want him to see the secrets hiding in her eyes. Kami only knew what he might do if he guessed how she was feeling.

“Why can’t you let me be? I have no desire to continue these meetings.”

“It is not your choice, miko.” She laughed a surprised bitter laugh.

“Why do you laugh at that, miko?”

“Because nothing in my life is my choice. Everything is just as series of people telling me what to do. Why should I be surprised that you are just another one of those people?”

“You have an odd way of looking at life.”

“So you keep telling me. But let me ask you this: have you ever tried to understand people. Or do you just expect them to follow your orders because you give them?” He didn’t answer her. How could she feel this way about him? He was heartless. “That’s what I thought.”

“You would do best to keep your thoughts to yourself unless they are asked for.”

“Or what? You’ll kill me next time you see me? Do you really think you’re the only person in the world that is trying to kill me? Or mostmost powerful? If nothing else, since I came here that I’ve learned life is nothing but dying. Some just do it slower than others.”

“You are unusually mouthy tonight, miko.”

“Tell you what you watch one of your friends die in your arms. Have their last words to you be them telling you they love you. And then have their very last words be a request to protect you. Then tell me how you feel.” She was growing furious and knew that if she didn’t get out of there, she was going to start crying.

“I can smell your tears, miko. Just another sign of your ridiculous human weak ness.”

“I don’t give a shit if you think I’m weak I didn’t ask you to come here! I came here to be alone to mourn my friend!” He was silent for a moment.

“You are speaking of the wolf lord?” he asked in a bored voice.

“His name was Kouga.” She stood up and climbed to the edge of the well. She felt so tired. All she wanted to do was go to sleep and not wake up. I can’t handle him. Not right now.

“Do not walk away miko.” He growled threateningly.

“Sorry Western Lord,” she said tiredly. “This interview is over”

Kat woke up the same as always, sobbing as she fought to remember her dream. But it slipped away, leaving her frustrated and angry. She knew that if she just once remembered what she dreamed about, it would be ok. She had no idea how she knew this, but if she could remember the source of her tears it would stop. The nightly terrors, the bitter emptiness, it would all end. She stood up and walked to the window.

“Why,” she asked softly. “Why can’t I remember?”